Emotionally deprived musician

[cookeddinosaur]

Been to the bar recently trying to catch a person I like a lot. Felt like an absolute girlfailure™ because I wasn't even sure if she'd come, so I took to the desperate measures and asked tarot cards on the matter. Let me tell you people started clinging like GLUE to this.

Overview of the night:

- One dude was so invested in my Love life's quest he listened for and hour of my rumbling

- Another dude was so baffled by me talking about psychology he confessed he got a massive crush on me

- One girl bought me a drink for a reading and refused to give me her legal name, because she was CONVINCED I was a Fae

- I gave a short lecture to a bunch of guys from India on what it's like to be a lesbian because it was their first time having a convo with one

Overall, despite the little gay heartbreak, I consider this night as a win 💅💅💅💅💅

[cookeddinosaur]

Every time I spend some money on new equipment and plugins I feel like such a looser. My friends have fun and go on vocations during winter college break and I'm grinding money at a factory like a broke orphan because I saw a fancy piano that makes playing more interesting and spent 1k on it immediately.

Yes, I need it for future career and shit, so it's a good investment, but having no idea when that money gonna come back still makes it all seem like a distant dream.

[cookeddinosaur]

One of the best things that happened to me is leaving my country to study music elsewhere. There's nothing quite like being trained in absolutely totalitarian conservatoire tradition and then discovering that music can be done IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. It's like stepping outside the house and realising that the world actually big and fun and full of Joy for the first time. Like what do you mean in Indian music there's thousands of microtones and complex rythms and it's older than western music theory? What do you mean it's 8000 years old? THAT'S AMAZING. What do you mean Middle Eastern Maquam scales essentially are Lego constructors? What do you mean West African polyrhythms work in a huge group where everyone play in different time signatures? Our world is so rich and cultures are so unique, so different, and work in so many different levels of depth to them. There's so much we can learn and popularise. Yet mainstream pop music still sounds all the same and experiences extreme stagnation in style. But that's a whole different story I believe

[cookeddinosaur]

It's fun being born on a year of a horse, because now imagine how many fucking puns you can come up with during 2026?

Wanna gallop this year? Ride me. That'll do it.

[cookeddinosaur]

Working on concept albums is so damn fun. Honestly stepping away from every guideline that music industry now shoves up your ass about success and marketing was the best decision to make. Fuck songs about drugs and exes, I will write about dragons and algorithms can ✨ kiss my whimsical ass ✨