Just wanted to take a moment to say..
What’s the point of trying anymore…yea, I made it to 2019 but what does any of that matter if I still feel hopeless. If I still feel unloved. If I still feel that the pain I put on myself is well deserved. Whats the point of the new year if the “new me” isn’t ready. That’s the problem with people. They say you can change if you wanted to, they say you can turn your life around in an instant but we cant. We cant instantly take away anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, add, adhd, or any other mental baggage we carry. If it were that easy to throw it away, I would have a long time ago and I don’t doubt that others would want to as well. So stop telling us to suck it up. To get help, to make ourselves better. Because in the long run, no matter how much anyone screams at us even if we believe in them for a second, the black matter as I call it all comes crashing down.
And guess what? Its not our fault. Don’t make it look like it is. We all have our reasons and even if I get hate for making this post then think to yourself why I NEED to make this post. Because I know as well as the next that here. Online.
This is where we come to escape. And yes you may call us wussies for being weak, for being easily hurt or scared. But in a way…we are strong. We take hit after hit without wincing. We know better so we hold it in until our body screams for it to be let out. I know. And you know. But no amount of inspiring quotes or friends or family can tell us to move on because for most of us it feels as if we’re stuck in time. And I understand most on the outside looking in will not understand. That’s why they tell us to be strong, because they don’t truly know what being weak is. When you feel so much on your shoulders you just cant stand anymore, you need to lay down. And soon it gets more and more difficult to stand up. In no way is what im saying supposed to support you or help you or guide you or inspire you. This story does not have a happy ending. Most don’t, and most don’t care if you don’t.
I just wanted to say that, for all of you..hiding behind a fake smile, that mask I know all too well. Just know that its true. You feel alone and you most likely are in your corner. But that doesn’t mean we cant be alone together. I can hold you hand and say I know whats it like because I do. I can sit there with you in the dark and hold you and tell you it wont be okay but at least we’re together. I CAN make you smile and make you laugh at yourself, I CAN make you realize that what you feel is not wrong
But like I said. This story has no happy ending. Most wont feel me trying to reach out, they wont feel my hand holding theirs. And the only reason why I even have the carelessness to post this is because I know..and im tired to the point where it doesn’t matter anymore. But a small part of me still thinks I can maybe reach out. Maybe if I tried..This isnt for likes. This isnt for publicity. This isnt for the attention. Its for you. This is to let you know that I'm here and i understand. You, someone who probably feels the same. So do me a favor before you add more scars…? Talk to me.
My Instagram- @high._.on._.hope
My Tumblr- @cookie-king-ken
My Discord- Worthless King#1650
My Messenger- @kenny.rose.98228
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