damn. two fucking years. i really thought i could be happy. i gained a fuck load of weight and chalked it up to medication and recovery and now im 200 fucking pounds and i feel disgusting. the worst part is i don’t even wanna be thin. not really. i just wanna be Not This. i feel horrible as im literally peoples recovery inspiration but i cant fucking do this anymore. im gonna go back to logging my food with calorie goals of like 800-1200. and hopefully that’ll work but if not i’ll go lower. who am i kidding i’ll probably go lower anyway that’s how an ed work but im gonna cling on to my illusion of health for as long as possible. i know for a fact this is gonna take me somewhere bad but it’s too late to turn around. see you around.
<3 casey










