[cookii-whore]

[weavemama]

I CHOKED ON MY WATER SSJJSSJDHDHSKSJ

[privatebarb]

This whole moment

[nevaehtyler]

[thelovelybones124-deactivated20]

This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain

[ski-mvsk-mxbbin]

i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.

[theryanproject]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[lake--verity-deactivated2018090]

All.of.this

[scrambled-pancakess]

… nailed it …

[theroguefeminist]

can we just make this a regular thing? putting the truth in parentheses next to quotes of lies politicians tell?

[okaynadine-null-deactivated2014]

i hope everybody who reblogged this wacky hilarious text post fails all their classes and finds themselves stuck in a dead-end minimum wage job for the rest of their life

i’m so very glad tumblr is popularizing poor work ethic and laziness. what a great thing. i guess that means more income for people who actually take their lives seriously

[nentindo-deactivated20210501]

[okcupidescapades]

[goon]

truly iconic

[humunanunga]

Damn, Target, who passed you the salt?

[target-service]

Our birthday never gets celebrated so why should anyone else be celebrated?

[humunanunga]

OH SHIT.

[dryan777]

Target is about to be the main antagonist y'all

[target-service]

@dryan777

[tlitedklink]

IT’S 3 IN THE MORNING AND I LITERALLY SCREAMED.

[target-service]

Please do not scream in our stores at 3 AM.

[tlitedklink]

TARGET DON’T CENSOR ME LIKE THIS, PLEASE.

[target-service]

Listen, Shannon, you need to stop screaming. Go yell in walmart

[itzzjozh-deactivated20181221]

IM DYING 😂😂😂

[commongayboy-deactivated2018082]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

[northisnotup]

THAT is EXACTLY what Shakespeare would have wanted

[harrypottersonicobama]

[30-space-chickens-go]

Possibly one of the best characters to ever be on TV

[thebestworstidea]

Salem was such a good character no one cared he was a bad puppet.

[revanchistsuperstar]

This character was the reason I expected that someday my cat was going to talk to me.

[twitterlols]

I would trust him to defend my life

[no-chill-at-all]

[smhijab-deactivated20170111]

why does it take 30 years for guys to mature

[dbejfdewfbwekf-deactivated20211]

Because society gives them time

[venusinfirs-deactivated20210116]

the drive thru lady just told me “Have a night.”