MercWithAMouth

They call me the merc with a mouth not truthful timmy

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Peter says im "cringe" I dont think so.

[vinnotthechill1]

Hey! If you're getting private messages from strangers saying "I accidentally reported your account" dont reply and block them!!! It isn't real it's a scam and you'll be okay i promise

[coolestmercwithamouth]

I love disappearing on the internet

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Who told blind al a tidepod was a type of candy, I just spent the night at the hospital over this stupidity

[its-cablepool]

Tide pods taste icky and burny

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Kid, please don't eat tidepods they are very icky

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Who told blind al a tidepod was a type of candy, I just spent the night at the hospital over this stupidity

[peterbenjmparker]

OOC: This has genuinely been the most stressful two days of my life, two of my best friends are going absolute HAM on eachother and I've had to play the biggest game of kiss-a to get both of them to try to understand eachother, this dang movie better be worth it tmr..

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Yeah no shit. I think everyone is traumatized right now

[peterbenjmparker]

Wassup peoples im back

[coolestmercwithamouth]

You've ditched taco night for the last time Peter, next time im going to have to bring taco night to you

[peterbenjmparker]

Crap, that was tonight? Why don't you do this on Tuesday like a regular person?

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Im wounded that you forgot. And it's Taco Thursday for this group, Taco Tuesday is overrated

[peterbenjmparker]

Really, or is it actually the only night Mr. Howlett visits

[coolestmercwithamouth]

I'm being inclusive PARKER.

[peterbenjmparker]

Im on a roll with movies but I still refuse to watch iron lung by myself because I'm a wimp on horror but am completely fine after patrol while my arm is going the wrong direction

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Why don't you go watch it at your fancy dad's place?

[peterbenjmparker]

MR. STARK IS NOT MY DAD WADE, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THIS???

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Mentor shmentor, we all know he's your father figure stop lying

[peterbenjmparker]

SO YOU KNOW HE'S MY MENTOR BUT YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE FUN OF ME?? 😭

[coolestmercwithamouth]

mentor... right.

[peterbenjmparker]

Im on a roll with movies but I still refuse to watch iron lung by myself because I'm a wimp on horror but am completely fine after patrol while my arm is going the wrong direction

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Why don't you go watch it at your fancy dad's place?

[peterbenjmparker]

MR. STARK IS NOT MY DAD WADE, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THIS???

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Mentor shmentor, we all know he's your father figure stop lying

[peterbenjmparker]

Wassup peoples im back

[coolestmercwithamouth]

You've ditched taco night for the last time Peter, next time im going to have to bring taco night to you

[peterbenjmparker]

Im on a roll with movies but I still refuse to watch iron lung by myself because I'm a wimp on horror but am completely fine after patrol while my arm is going the wrong direction

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Why don't you go watch it at your fancy dad's place?

[coolestmercwithamouth]

sooooooo do you know the tea with spiderman and black cat? whats going on there i need explanations and i KNOW spidey is going to be like "uhh its a situation" and not tell me

Mmm, I think it's up to web head if he wants to tell you or not but between you and me there's definitely something up

[coolestmercwithamouth]

@what-a-strange-name //

Wade, I just came home from a meeting to find a dead man slumped against my wall with one of your Katanas in it..? Is this a threat.? I'm so confused.

Not today, but I will be needing that back wizard guy, no keepsies

[coolestmercwithamouth]

How's it hanging, Wade?

@spidey-official

Hey webs! Doing good, well, not nessisarily "good" since im a mercenary but you get the gist

[peterbenjmparker]

People think im a creep now.. jee thanks for sticking up for me parker

I dunno man, sounds like you need Matt to back you up, he's a really good lawyer y'know?

[coolestmercwithamouth]

that's like asking blind Al to download Tumblr, like, maybe he could use one of those text to speech thingies but I feel like he'd get overwhelmed since they talk fast and a lot

[peterbenjmparker]

Since when did you care about Matt being overwhelmed or not?

[coolestmercwithamouth]

Since I need him to be my lawyer ig

[peterbenjmparker]

People think im a creep now.. jee thanks for sticking up for me parker

I dunno man, sounds like you need Matt to back you up, he's a really good lawyer y'know?

[coolestmercwithamouth]

that's like asking blind Al to download Tumblr, like, maybe he could use one of those text to speech thingies but I feel like he'd get overwhelmed since they talk fast and a lot

[peterbenjmparker]

Hey petey-pie ❤️

I do not want to be associated with you. Shoo.

[coolestmercwithamouth]

I thought you liked me sweetums 🥺

[peterbenjmparker]

Do NOT call me that. I don't know this man guys..

[coolestmercwithamouth]

[peterbenjmparker]

Freak

[therealwebslinger]

Wade you know this Peter is a minor, right???! Creep

[peterbenjmparker]

Oh he knows 😒 he's just being annoying

[coolestmercwithamouth]

IM NOT A CREEPER I SWEAR