Im fucking pissed per usual. Im at work and my client comes in and waits for the other barber and I genuinely canāt figure out why cause my cuts are just as good if not better and this guy doesnāt speak English so you know heās not over there for the conversation. When somebody comes in that Iāve never cut before they want to wait for one of the guys and I donāt know if its cause im a women barber or what.. i started to erase and then i figured why not let you see the shift in mindset.. I know my cuts are good and I know im a good person.. whatās meant for me is meant for me and I trust the process fully. I get home and im upset cause i called my partner to vent and they donāt have much to say, no pep talk, nothing and there i am again with feeling rejected and its like you canāt force other people to respond the way you would so why even react but i get in. My head like oh they donāt care because they are tired of me which could also be irrational considering a minute ago I felt like a failure in my career and I didnāt care a bit anything anymore lol but im self aware enough to know that my mental health lately hasnāt been the most peachy and that can be draining for someone else so why wouldnāt they distance themselves and in return im desperate for connection because im scared to death of abandonment and i know i will get better. Blahhhh thatās so sappy and self loathing ew.