♫ and while i’m in this body i want somebody to want and i want, what i want, and i want you to love me ♫
⤳ you can call me cora! i use any pronouns
⤳ i write for whatever catches my interest; all my works can be found under the tag "corameiwrites"
⤳ requests open, but keep in mind it is a request – i may choose to write it or not
⤳ i typically write with a female reader in mind, but alter it so most works can be read as gender neutral. if any of the works I’ve written marked as such don’t come off as that, please reach out to me!
⤳ all writing posted is my original work, do not steal or post on other platforms
It was a vulnerable thing to request, and a sharp lump sat in your throat. Your hands shook with nerves. You wanted to explain yourself, create a sort of a scientific graph with all of your emotional data and present it to Ryland like you’re doing nothing but a simple task on the ship. But human things—messy human things—rarely made themselves easy to communicate. Least of all in a scientific way.
All you knew was that the strangled feeling stuck inside your chest were all different colours. One was coloured grief, the other anger, and another as guilt. You’re still trying to recall the memories that explain that one, but you’re terrified of what you might find.
You fidgeted with your hands in front of your stomach, confidence shrinking by the second.
“If it’s okay with you?” you added quietly.
Ryland’s face had morphed from confused, to concerned, to hesitant (but not unwilling). He stepped closer to bring his hands to yours, gently prying them apart and guiding them upward. You followed his silent instructions, and wrapped your arms around his neck.
You heard him expel a breath, somewhat shakily.
“This okay?” Ryland asked, and his arms folded behind you, pressing into the small of your back.
You nearly sobbed (you should be asking him that), but choked back the sound by pressing your nose into his shoulder. In many ways, Ryland continuously reminded you that regardless of the situations he found himself in, he gave up his comfort (and his physical body) to help. He was a constant string of sacrifices, an endless loop of giving.
It made an ugly feeling strike through your gut. When was the last time he asked for something in return?
Closing your eyes, you sunk deeper into Ryland’s hold and hoped to convey wordlessly that he could hold you the way he needed to. That he could hold you tight; grip you selfishly.
The seconds ticked by, and the awkward silence that had settled over the ship began to morph into something softer. You realised that Rocky was also in the room, but hadn’t made a single sound. Not even his translator echoed mechanically in the air, asking questions.
Ryland quietly cleared his throat. “Did you want to—uh, talk… about it?”
His question was followed by his thumb rubbing a small crescent into your back. You turned your head to press your cheek against Ryland’s shoulder, gaze idly running along the floor.
“No,” you murmured. “But thanks for asking.”
Ryland nodded his head, exhaling through his nose. After a short moment, you felt his cheek press against the side of your head.
You couldn’t say when the two of you began to sway, but, at some point, your heart rates had synced with one another, beating in tandem while your bodies rocked side to side. There wasn’t any music to accompany you; you weren’t sharing a romantic dance.
Your lips briefly twitched with a faint smile as you imagined Rocky asking you about it.
Why Grace and Y/N move to side on repeat. Question.
You weren’t good with numbers or molecular biology like Ryland, but you knew a lot about the human body. And you knew that people rocked themselves when they needed comfort. Maybe Eridians did something similar? You’d explain it to the overly enthusiastic alien, but the thought left you when Ryland moved his hand up your back, palm splayed against your spine.
“This is nice,” Ryland whispered.
You hummed, and tears crowded the edges of your vision.
“Same time tomorrow?”
You let out a wet giggle, muffling it into his shirt.
Ryland lets out a soft huff, his smile trailing after his breath and hidden from view.
Saw someone who (presumably) hadn't read Project Hail Mary theorizing on how the Eridians could feed Ryland and I just had a vision on how best to explain
I still get sick when I think about how Grace had no one to be brave for. Everyone else had someone they loved, someone they were willing to sacrifice themselves for, and Grace only had himself , he only had to live for himself .
LIKE UGH AND LIKE then there comes Rocky and just right off the bat does he make the choice to save him, because he loves him. IM SICK SICK SICK !!
I've also, before I read the book, was so obsessed with the question of: "If you had amnesia, are you the same person?" And my answer to that has always been yes. Choices define someone's character. If a fundamentally honest person had amnesia, and found themselves in a position where lying would benefit them, they would still tell the truth. Am I explaining myself? I have a hard time explaining myself..
BUT POINT IS!!! Stratt is so right. He is fundamentally such good person. Yes, he was a coward, but NOT fundamentally. And Grace on the ship proved that, he was the same person, who now found someone he loved.
I feel like I'm saying something stupid and/or obvious but his character just rattles me to the core...
anyone who is phm pilled pls follow me I want to talk to you desperately...
summary: damian wayne, in your memories, was the child assassin prodigy who had a horribly obvious crush on you in your shared childhood. years later, your return to wayne manor shocks you when the kid you once teased relentlessly has grown taller, meaner, into his looks... and is determined to make you regret ever tormenting him.
pairing: damian wayne x fem!reader
content: fluff, damian wayne yearns and time has only amplified his intensity, childhood attachment combined with emotional suppression, little mix of jealousy
"That is not Damian."
"I believe you are referring to the growth spurt." Alfred answers, unsurprised at your reaction. "All the masters have gone through quite a change while you were away."
That couldn’t be it. Growth spurt didn't answer for the unfair angles that make up his face, or the way his lashes framed the captivating green of his eyes, or the way his sleeves fit tight around his arms.
You harshly avert your gaze, feeling something hot burn at the back of your neck. Was this a form of punishment, for all your teasing years ago? You sure hoped he didn't remember that.
His looks may have become a weapon of its own, but you didn't need a clear reminder on his temper. The way his glare used to pierce through you, ears reddened in shame when you had pointed out that he was staring for too long, before hurling threats that contained illegal methods of torture and certain death, then storming off in a hurry.
Spying Damian from the corner of your eye, he must've certainly forgotten about you by now. He's probably used to the mass attention from The Gotham Times, enough to forget the mess that happened between you and him. That you made horrible, ruthless fun out of his feelings, taking every chance you could to piss him off, using the fact that his heartbeat would race around you against him.
"Master Damian and you have fond childhood memories together." Alfred comments. "I'm sure he will be delighted to see you."
Is that what it looked like to the adults? The strange push-and-pull you once had with the only blood heir in Wayne Manor?
"Hi." Your voice comes out brash—awkward, not at all the confident persona you wanted to portray. Damian was even more intimidating up close, with his gaze narrowed down on you, emotions completely hidden behind a perfect blank, towering over you in a way he never did before.
"How are you, Damian?" You try again when he doesn't answer. You might as well ask for the foundation of Wayne Manor to swallow you whole. You'll find better use supporting the infrastructure than in this dead-end of a conversation.
He blinks slowly, at least a suggestion that he's somewhat human. His scowl deepens, arms crossed. "You've somehow become more unimpressive, if that's even feasible."
Your jaw drops. Out of everything, forced curtesy, straight-up ignorance, you didn't expect that. It takes you a second to recover, and it only makes you feel more foolish. "That's uncalled for."
"I don't recall you taking consideration of what others think before spouting nonsense." His assault lands roughly, despite his tongue never quickening in its pace or abrasiveness. In fact, his coolness as he directly insults you only buries you deeper in shame.
It's a strong sense of alert, to abort this mission of reconciliation. "This is making me nolstagic already." Your grin splits too wide, desperation seared into your tone. "Good to see you haven't changed either."
His expression darkens, and you've somehow pissed him off with your harmless comment.
"I have changed." He answers briskly. "And I can guarantee that this new version of me... won't tolerate you so easily."
Before you can even blink or process his outright threat, you feel his shoulder brush harshly against yours, bumping you to the side as he walks off.
Yeah... he definitely remembers you.
Damian proves to be relentless in his promise to be intolerable of your presence.
When you had wandered your way down to the West Wing’s kitchen in your Superman pajamas, you’re greeted with a glare from Death himself when you find Damian sitting across the counter.
"Hi." You greet, almost afraid your voice will shatter the pin-dropping silence the atmosphere has suddenly descended into. You really have to stop with that horrible greeting.
His expression sours further at the sound of your voice, as if you've confirmed his worst nightmare really exists at eight in the morning, standing in his kitchen decked out in Superman merch. His gaze drops pointedly to your attire and grimaces, before shoving another spoonful of his breakfast down his throat.
"No trimming Alfred's hedges included in your morning routine?"
Your joke in an attempt of familiarity clearly strikes the wrong nerve, as the only response you receive is the harsh creak of his chair. He stands abruptly with a point to look on forward as he makes his exit, as if you didn't even exist in the very room.
It's fine. It's only been your first day back. He'll warm up to you... eventually. You just have to prove that you're not that annoying kid anymore, who thought poking fun at a child assassin prodigy who harboured grudges like no tomorrow was a smart move.
You’ve still managed to harness some luck. When you open the cabinets, you find it fully stocked with all your favourite tea brands and flavours. Bless Alfred, his kind soul.
Damian does not warm up to you. When you found him resting in the study, laid out on the leather couch, you barely make it past the barrier of the wooden doors before he slams his book shut. The loud echo vibrates through the entire room along the oak bookshelves, freezing the atmosphere before you even have a chance to say a word.
When you take a seat beside him for dinner, he makes it a mission to have a pointed remark for every attempt of yours at small talk. That slithered tongue of his somehow turns every conversation into a violent game of chess, with his strategy as outright assault, leaving you on the defense.
It's tiring, infuriating. This wasn't even punishment; this was hatred.
You’re at your wits end when you find yourself in a moment of surrender, perched at your balcony, watching the starless sky above you. Sleep doesn’t find you easily when the person roomed beside you hates your guts.
You don’t deny that stationing out here in the cold didn’t serve a purpose. At least there was one thing you could still predict about Damian, and that was his habit of lingering on his balcony, only a few feet away from yours, for a moment of reprieve after his patrols.
He’s just come out from the shower, water droplets catching at the ends of his dark locks, dripping small streams down to the towel around his neck. His eyes are closed, head pressed against the brick stone, but a furrow deepens between his brows. He knows that you’re watching him.
Your fingers tighten around the railing, and for once, you keep your mouth shut. The silence stretches, taut and timed with each vivid heartbeat that hammered against your rib cage.
“Are you going to keep staring?” His voice, raw and tired from patrol, finally breaks through the tension. Yet, you can’t conjure a semblance of hope, even if this was the first time he started a conversation since you arrived at the Manor.
“Depends on how long you plan on avoiding me.” You answer truthfully.
He scoffs, a low unamused rumble in the back of his throat. “You are unbelievable.”
Your frown deepens, irritation flaring at his tone. “You’re seriously the one to say that? You’ve been—”
His green eyes peer open, meeting yours. There’s a challenge in his gaze, daring you to address his behaviour.
Swallowing back your insults, you force yourself to look away. “If I'm making you that uncomfortable, fine. I’ll keep my distance. I wasn’t planning on staying long anyways.”
Eyeing his reaction from your peripheral vision, you expect him to be relieved, ecstatic even that you’re leaving after all the effort he's gone through to be a horrible host. You don’t expect to see the rare look of hurt displayed on his face.
Your head twists fully to face him, convinced you must have hallucinated, but he’s already turned his back. His imprudent leave ends with the harsh slam of his door, leaving you alone to the freezing wind whipping at your face. Yet, you feel that being on the receiving end of his hatred is much colder than being out here alone in the dark.
When Tim returns from his mission, you’re practically in tears in the light of your saviour. You love Alfred, but even he is beginning to tend to the gardens more, in an attempt to avoid your distractive antics from his never-ending tasks around the manor. Bruce is a terrible converser outside of the cameras, too tired to put on his charm or his patience when he’s busy sleeping till noon, and off on another patrol by sundown.
Tim, the second closest person you have to your age, and often too insomniac to garner the needed strength to send you away—is your closest chance of normal bantering without feeling like you’re one step away from becoming a murder victim.
"He hates me." You rant, hands resting over Tim's armrest, watching Tim sort through his cases using a system he calls 'chaotic orderliness'. "I’m not kidding. Damian genuinely despises me."
Tim snickers, placing another unceremonious stack on the desk. You doubt there was much improvement from his sorting, but he's convinced it works. "Trust me. Damian does not hate you."
"What will you call it then, Wonder Genius?" You groan. "Annoyance? Irritation? Loathing?"
"Did you know he personally restocked the kitchen with all your favourite tea packets?" Tim blurts out.
Your frown dissipates, his words slowly sinking in. "I—thought that was Alfred's doing."
Tim shakes his head. "He claimed that you would only be more of a nuisance if it wasn't done right."
He continues on, suggesting that he was paying attention more than he led on. "The bookshelves were completely revamped by genre too, even when he finds it distasteful. He also lets you tackle Titus, which he has never allowed any of us to do."
"He has a hard time communicating how he feels." Tim mutters. "Trust me. I’m well aware of that. So, don't take it too personally. He's just processing your presence and what you mean to him."
"Processing?” Your brows furrow. “What could he possibly need to process on such a level?"
Tim tosses you a ‘Are you seriously asking me that question?’ look, but the sound of a loud revving of an engine cuts off his further explanation. You spot the Batmobile entering the cave, its lights blinding your sight as the giant machine stops in its tracks.
The wing door lifts, and out steps Damian, home from his patrol. His domino mask is nowhere to be found, and that's how you witness firsthand that he's glaring daggers into your soul. His gaze doesn't leave you when he shuts the door with a solid slam, even when it flickers between you and Tim, assessing the situation.
For some reason, seeing Damian in his suit makes your mouth dry, eradicating all line of thought from your conscience, leaving you to stare at him speechlessly like a gaping fish. Gone were the silly tights and hooded cape. You don’t recall Robin ever looking that sinfully good, it was almost unfair.
You’re distracted—and the fact that he was coming towards you in a rapid, terrifying pace as if he's found his next victim, steals away precious time for a proper escape. Realising you’re still leaning over the armrest in contact with Tim's arm, who's watching the entire exchange with unhidden amusement, you inch away with your hands raised.
"Damian, if you're mad I snuck into the cave—"
He doesn’t deign you a second more to explain, grabbing your wrist and tugging you harshly towards the exit.
He's definitely mad. His entire body is tense, forming harsh movements as he drags you across the hallway. It takes you a moment to guess where he's heading, when he passes the study, the kitchen, up the stairs—to his bedroom.
He was going to murder you, and no one would be any wiser of his crime. Except for Tim, who betrayed you seamlessly, still typing away at the Bat-Computer after giving you a sarcastic wave when you had twisted your neck, silently begging him for non-discreet assistance.
Damian’s hands never part from you when he slams the door closed with you pinned against the wood. His glower alone is enough to incinerate you.
"What did I do this time?" Your sigh is honest, a tired numbness of this pretense of trying to be amiable with him. Your ability to read his deflecting moods has long gone dormant.
"Did you seriously think it wouldn't affect me?" He sneers. "You've made a big show of making Drake the next victim of your tiring schemes."
Your lips part, brows creased in frustration. "What are you talking about?"
"Isn't it enough?" He snaps. "Driving me insane with your presence. Now, you must attack Drake as well?"
"I am not doing anything!"
"Really?" He scoffs. "So, you laughing over his jokes during dinner, finding him in the Cave, asking him to show you around the city as if you didn't live in it yourself once—it's all just you naturally being insufferable?"
Your brows furrow in utter confusion. This sounds maniacal, and... seething with jealousy?
"It's not like I can ask you.” You retort. "You'll probably blow up the city before you would even consider the suggestion of showing me around."
"I would never consider taking you anywhere." He hisses.
"Exactly—"
"You'll just wrap me around your finger, and render me incapable of all sense."
"...What?"
"You're a weakness." He mutters. "Being around you only amplifies this fact. But—"
"I refuse to let you parade around Drake." Inching closer to you, you can’t tell if his desperate refusal is pointed at you… or himself. "That will only ruin me more."
Your lips part and close, shock visible in every nerve pulled from your facial expression. "You sound... jealous."
His jaw ticks, and he stares down at you, lips pursed.
"So, what if I am?"
His hands come up to either side of your face, trapping you with nowhere to face but his cold expression. His eyes have darkened to an almost-black, swarmed by his pupils that are focused on you.
"What will you do then?" He mocks. "Will you terrorise me? Laugh in my face? Trample my heart and smile as if you didn't do anything?"
"I'm curious." His voice grows bitter, almost resentful. "Just how will you torture me this time?"
His question sucks all the oxygen out of your lungs. There's something all-consuming about his gaze, staring at you with such vivid conflict, a desperation swirled with frustration... and longing.
"I thought your crush on me was over." You whisper.
His jaw flexes, annoyance on full display. "Of course, you would still use that infuriating term."
You don't even have time to process it. His lips meet yours in a harsh clash, but it's only fitting that a kiss broken out between the two of you would be a fight of push-and-pull. You've long driven each other mad, and now this tension, dragged to its peak, has finally crashed—and it feels akin to tectonic plates shifting off-course.
You expect him to push you off when he realises his impulsive mistake—or pull you closer, you don't know. In his strength, he can easily do it. Break this kiss and berate you as he once did, cheeks flushed and rage consuming his vision.
Yet, you find your hands tangling into his hair, releasing a series of groans that sound inhuman coming from his mouth. He chases your every movement, consumes, and you're left with nothing to hold onto, to think of—but him.
His hands find their way through your hair, maneuvering you easily to slot your lips however he wanted against him. You've never felt him so unrestrained, so destroyed and desire-driven.
"Damian." You gasp, twisting your head when you realise just how intense the session was getting. You still didn't know his intentions, the reason why he dragged you into his room. "Wait, we need to talk."
He's half-conscious, kisses peppering your jaw from the access you've given, and when he finally stops, parting just enough for you to face him again without him attacking you—you sense his impatience, his detested longing bridling right below his mask.
“Did you ever think about me?” His question comes out softer than you expected, weak and hoarse from his lips that are bitten.
“What?" You breathe out, chest still heaving from the intensity only he could create. "Of course I did.”
Suspicion clouds his gaze, because for some reason, he can’t seem to fathom that you’re wrapped around his finger just as much as he claims to be around yours.
“Why did you think I teased you so much?” You confess. “I was a silly kid, who had a big crush on a boy who refused to admit he has a heart! I wanted to get a reaction out of you... because it proved to me that you liked me even half as much.”
His frown deepens, unsatisfied. "Yet, you don't even remember."
Your brows furrow. "Remember?"
"The—" The rarest shame coats his features. "Promise you made. Before you left."
You try to recall a promise, anything you must've said that remained in his memory for as long as it did. Before you left—yes, Damian had bid you farewell. If you could call it that.
"You're leaving." Damian states. It's a fact, not a question.
Honestly, you thought he'd be more pleased. He was always going on about how you were a distraction, a nuisance, and some other colourful vocabulary you've added to your adjectives list for your English homework, which you'd proudly shown him in retaliation.
Yet, here he was, standing at the front door like a barrier to the outside world, staring holes into your luggage as if it had done a personal crime against him. Knowing how easily offended he could get, maybe the wheels ran over his polished shoes once.
"I'm not leaving forever." You tease. "Promise I won't let you be free of me so easily.
"Who says I want you back?" He scoffs, ears reddening as he averts his gaze. "You'll just cause more problems, as you always do."
You grin, hand parting from your luggage handle and tackling him into a hug. He lets out a string of curses, all Arabic and undecodable to you. Still, he doesn't push you off like you expect. Maybe he's deigning you some honour, because this will be the last you'll see him in a really long time.
"I'll come back soon." You promise. Casually. In an after-thought. Unknowing of its effects on a boy who took each promise as a solemn vow. "So you won't be alone in this big, lonely manor all by yourself. Who else will you threaten to kill at six in the morning?"
You feel the stutter of his voice, the huffs in his breath as he tries to restrain himself. Cute.
You part from him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek just to tease him further. His cheeks blossom that signature red and you see the sizzling in his gaze, like he's ready to blow from shame and rage.
"Don't change, Dami." You murmur. "I want everything just the way it is now when I come back."
You never expected him to hold you to a ten years old promise. You wouldn't have remembered it, if it weren't for the look he was giving you now. Your vision was fracturing, multiplying with the Damian of your past and the one right in front of you.
Right. Back then—hadn't he looked at you in this same way? With a quiet, desperate plea to not leave him alone? It had stuck with you, as the car turned away from the Manor, watching his silhouette disappear into a smaller frame at the door, unmoving till you were out of reach.
"You waited." Realisation creeps in with an unexpected guilt. He held you to that promise. That’s why he kept the arrangement of the books the same way in the study, and the tea packets, and your room.
"And you came back." He huffs. "Carelessly smiling as if you had forgotten. I should've guessed that you did. You handled promises as easily as you handled my heart."
"We were kids—" You splutter.
His gaze narrows. "I was four when my grandfather handed me the expectations he had of his heir. Six when I understood what an assassination attempt meant. Eight when I learnt not to flinch when ending a life. How much do you think promises are worth to a boy who went down that path?"
"...Everything." You whisper.
"Everything." He mutters. "You had always been different. Light, free of burdens. I despised you for it, and… I craved your normalcy. You made me feel human, and I had mistaken that for weakness. When you left, I realised then that your absence felt worse than keeping any weaknesses near."
"Dami..."
His body shudders involuntarily at your call, arms still caged around you. He grits his teeth, glare enough to pierce through your skin. "Don't do that."
"I'm not pitying you." You answer, even if he hasn't uttered his accusation. You can see it in his vulnerability, how it aches for him to even admit this to you. That you matter, and your promises matter.
"I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise." Your hand comes up to cup his cheek, and his lashes flutter, shock registering at your warm touch. He doesn't pull away, even when conflict arises in his gaze. "I really am. I know you think I'm some trickster, and that you can't depend on my words."
"But truthfully, I was most excited to see you." You admit. "I had been away for so long, but whenever I thought of Gotham, of home, I thought of you. I wondered about how you must've become so much stronger, smarter, and still carried that heart you tried so desperately to keep hidden. That you were the most capable, and striking boy I ever laid my eyes on."
"Now, I see who you've grown up to be." You exhale, eyes tracing over his features, and you can't help but smile. "Even all of my dreams couldn't have pictured who you are now. You're amazing, Dami, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel small, or unworthy of promises."
Pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, as you once did when you were children, you think it's time you made a proper promise. One you'll remember, and one you hope he'll give you a chance to keep. "I've fallen for you, Dami. Whatever crush I had on you when we were kids? It pales in comparison to this—snowballed into something even I can't control."
"I'm here now." You remind him. "With a promise to stay. I'm no longer that silly kid, who runs her mouth without thinking. I keep my promises, especially if it's for the one right in front of me, who's taken my heart from the first moment I laid my eyes on him."
A low rumble escapes his chest, satisfaction hidden within his features. In moments like this, he really reminds you of a feline. Hard to please, and yet, you find yourself in awe of that soft glow in his eyes.
“You’re mistaken.” He murmurs, and your heart drops. “What I feel for you is not even close to half.”
"I waited, even when I knew the chances of you remembering was close to zero." He admits. "Because I chose you. From the moment you entered my life, my heart already sealed its fate to yours, even if you hadn't known."
"I would've kept waiting—and if you took too long." He leans in, nose brushing against yours. "I would find you. And make you live up to that promise."
"And now?" He smirks, turning his head as his lips brush against your palm. Even a soft touch like that was enough to make your heart combust, and the trace of his lips makes you hyperaware of your own, still swollen from the kiss earlier. It's the intimacy, the way he's completely unraveled in your hands that reminds you of just how much power you have over him.
"I'm holding you to your new promise." He mutters. "You'll stay. In Gotham, with me."
You nod breathlessly. "I'm staying."
"Good." Even in his composure, you sense the drop of his shoulders, his relief in hearing you say it again. "You have a lot of wasted time to make up for."
"How should I make up for lost time?" You tease, lashes fluttering as your gaze diverts between his lips and his darkened gaze.
"I'm sure you've invented all sorts of new ways to terrorise me." His voice deepens into a dangerous lure, rendering you speechless. "I'll give you some freedom to explore that."
Your hand still lingering on his cheek traces past the corner of his mouth, right over his lip. His gaze lowers to your touch, and you sense the impatience that slips through his restraint.
You tilt his head to face you, and he's waiting. You never realised how patient he was when it came to you.
Leaning closer, your lips brush over his again, and you feel his fingers still tangled in your hair tighten, inching you closer.
"Is this allowed?" You tease, gaze flickering back up to his.
He huffs out a low breath, and when he descends, you get your answer. Damian Wayne has always held restraint like a perfected soldier, but when it came to you... he finds that control is an overrated concept.
Now that you're finally here, in his arms, all his, he's making you live up to your promise.
extra:
timmybird: have you guys worked on processing his feelings? ;)
likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated! <333
NOTE: Someone get my pook a mask pls he cannot die! whatever Camie said about Hawks dying is me to Valarr he’s a total snack.
﹙𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹚
Valarr Targaryen had already decided this would be the worst part of the afternoon.
No not the formal greetings, not the stiff smiles, not even the endless titles of lords he could not care about that tangled in his ears until they sounded like nonsense. He could endure all of that with practiced ease, shoulders straight, expression composed, every inch the prince he had been raised to be.
No.
It was the new babe.
He stood beside his parents in his uncles solar of the Red Keep, hands slightly clammy clasped behind his back, listening as Maekar Targaryen and his wife were announced. The doors opened, and in swept heat from the late summer air, and with it, noise. A child’s cry.
High, pleased babbling echoed against the stone walls.
Valarr’s spine went rigid.
Maekar entered first, tall and imposing, his wife followed, smiling warmly, and in her arms.
Valarr blinked.
You were smaller than he expected.
Wrapped in pale silks, white threaded with faint red embroidery, you were all soft curves and bright, curious violet eyes. Your hair was fine and light, silver-blond catching the sun pouring in through the high windows. You made an indignant sound when your mother shifted her grip, little hands fisting in protest before settling again.
The adults exchanged greetings. Polite words, and familiar courtesies.
Valarr barely heard them.
He was staring at the little dragon wrapped in her mother's embrace.
“You remember my brother, Prince Baelor, of course,” Maekar was saying, gesturing to Valarr’s father. “And this is his wife, and his son.”
Introductions continued, and then.
“And this is our youngest,” your mother said, voice warm with unmistakable pride. “Our daughter.”
She tilted you slightly forward, inviting admiration.
Valarr swallowed.
You stared back at him.
Your gaze fixed on him with startling intensity for someone so small, eyes wide and unblinking. A slow smile spread across your face, gummy and delighted, as if you’d found something you very much approved of.
Valarr had the absurd thought that you looked…pleased. As though he were a novelty.
“Well,” Baelor chuckled, “she seems like a lively one.”
“She always is,” Maekar’s wife replied fondly. “Especially when there are new faces.”
Your attention did not waver. Your small hand lifted, fingers opening and closing in a clumsy, curious motion.
Valarr shifted his weight.
This was fine. Perfectly fine. You would be admired, cooed over, perhaps passed to a septa or attendant. He would smile politely from a distance. That was the proper order of things.
He relaxed, just a fraction.
And then Baelor said, far too lightly, “Valarr.”
Valarr felt dread bloom instantly.
“Yes, Father?” His words coming out to meek for a prince of his stature.
“Why don’t you greet your cousin properly?”
Before Valarr could respond, before he could so much as draw breath to suggest an alternative, Maekar’s wife laughed softly.
“Oh, would you like to hold her?”
The room seemed to tilt.
“I-” Valarr began, his mind urging him to refuse his uncles good wife.
It was too late.
You were already being transferred.
Your mother stepped closer, carefully placing you into Valarr’s arms with practiced ease, as if handing over a bundle of linens instead of a living, breathing child. Your weight was unfamiliar, warm, solid, and alarmingly fragile.
Valarr froze.
His arms locked in place, instinctively stiff, elbows tucked awkwardly at his sides. He stared down at you in open panic, acutely aware of how many eyes were on him.
You blinked up at him.
For a heartbeat, there was silence.
Then you reached for him.
Your tiny hand latched onto the front of his doublet with startling strength, fingers curling into the embroidered fabric just below his collarbone. Valarr inhaled sharply.
“Oh,” Baelor said, amused. “She’s taken a liking to you son.”
Valarr did not move, and you tugged harder.
The Targaryen crest, three-headed dragon molded from steel, pulled under your grip. Valarr watched in horror as the stitching around it strained.
“I think-” he said faintly, “I think she has to strong a hold on me.”
You made a pleased sound, babbling happily as you tightened your grip and brought the emblem closer to your face, examining it with grave seriousness. Your other hand joined the first, fingers patting and scrunching the sigil as though testing its texture.
Someone laughed.
“Careful,” Maekar said dryly. “She’s strong.”
Valarr believed it.
He looked up helplessly at his mother, who was smiling far too serenely.
“Support her head Valarr.” she reminded gently.
Valarr shifted one hand, too fast, then stopped again, terrified he’d done it wrong. You wobbled slightly, offended, and let out a sharp sound of protest.
Valarr’s heart leapt into his throat.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted instinctively, as if you could understand him.
You stared at him, then promptly shoved a fist into your mouth and chewed on it, apparently satisfied.
The adults laughed again.
Valarr flushed.
You, meanwhile, were delighted.
Your attention drifted back to his chest, to the shining emblem that had caught your eye in the first place. With unwavering determination, you tugged again, harder this time.
The thread held, barely.
“Oh-no, no,” Valarr muttered under his breath. “You cannot-”
You could.
With a triumphant little noise, you yanked, and Valarr felt the stitching give way slightly beneath your grip. Not fully torn-but loosened enough to make his stomach drop.
“She’s stealing from you,” Baelor boomed in laughter.
Valarr looked up sharply. “She’s taking the emblem father.”
“It seems fair,” Maekar said. “She is a Targaryen after all.”
You were beaming now, utterly content, clutching the piece of metal like a prize you’d won through sheer will. Your chubby fingers were red from gripping it so tightly.
He should have handed you back.
He should have insisted.
Instead, something strange happened.
You leaned closer, entirely unprompted, and pressed your forehead briefly against his chest, a clumsy, affectionate bump. Then you sighed, a soft, sleepy sound, and settled.
Still holding the sigil.
Valarr went very still.
The room seemed to fade at the edges.
You were warm, and real. Breathing softly against him, your tiny weight anchored in his arms as if you belonged there. His panic dulled into something quieter. His awareness heightened, careful not to drop you.
You trusted him.
For reasons entirely beyond his comprehension, you trusted him.
“Well,” his mother said softly, “I don’t think she intends to let go.”
Valarr swallowed.
“I-I don’t think I can move,” he admitted.
Maekar’s wife smiled at him, something knowing in her expression. “You are doing just fine my prince.”
You shifted slightly, adjusting your grip, fingers still curled in the dragon’s heads stitched over his heart.
Valarr thought, distantly, that he would remember this.
The weight of you.
And how, for the first time that day, he hadn’t minded holding onto a babe.
Valarr realized, belatedly, that the problem was no longer holding you.
The problem was that no one seemed inclined to help him stop.
You had settled fully now, cheek pressed against his chest, breath warm through the layers of his doublet. Your fingers remained tangled stubbornly in the loosened embroidery, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for you to keep hold of him.
Valarr stood there, acutely aware of every inch of himself, his posture, his breathing, the tension in his arms. He had never been more conscious of the fact that he was alive and responsible for something far smaller and more fragile than himself.
“I think,” he said carefully, after a long moment, “she is…asleep.”
You were not, not quite, but your eyelids had drooped, lashes resting against flushed cheeks, your mouth slack in the way of someone very close to drifting off. One hand still clutched the sigil. The other had gone lax, resting against his collarbone.
“She does that,” your mother said cooed. “Decides she’s comfortable and refuses to be moved.”
Valarr attempted to shift his weight again, just enough to ease the strain in his arms.
You responded immediately.
A small, displeased sound escaped you, sharp and indignant, and your fingers tightened. Valarr froze mid-motion, heart hammering.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, absurdly earnest.
This time, you opened your eyes.
They were a pale, bright violet, too clear, too knowing for someone so young. They focused on his face, studying him with an intensity that made Valarr’s breath catch.
Then you smiled.
A small, satisfied curve of your mouth, as if to say: There. Don’t do that again.
Baelor laughed outright.
“Oh, she’s clever,” he said. “Look at her. She’s got you trapped.”
Valarr shot his father a look that was half plea, half accusation.
“She’s-she’s holding my clothes,” he said, as if that explained everything.
Maekar stepped closer, studying the situation with a measured eye. He reached out, fingers brushing gently against your hand.
You did not release the sigil.
Instead, you drew it closer to yourself, little brows furrowing in displeasure.
Maekar paused.
“Well,” he said slowly, “she’s claimed it.”
Valarr stared at him. “She cannot have it.”
“Why not?” Maekar asked mildly. “It’s hers as much as yours.”
Valarr opened his mouth, then closed it again.
He had no answer that wouldn’t sound ridiculous.
Your mother hid a smile behind her hand.
“She’s never taken to strangers like this,” she said. “Usually she fusses.”
Valarr swallowed.
“I’m not-” He stopped himself. “I mean, I don’t-”
He trailed off, at a loss.
You shifted again, settling more securely in his arms. Your head tucked just beneath his chin now, breath puffing softly against his throat. Valarr stiffened instinctively, then forced himself to relax, lowering his head just enough to keep you steady.
He could feel the warmth of you through the fabric. The slow, steady rhythm of your breathing.
Something quieted inside him.
“Valarr,” his mother said gently, stepping closer. “You may hand her back now if you like.”
He hesitated.
He did want to, or he truly did. His arms ached, and he was painfully aware of how ridiculous he must look, standing there, rigid and wide-eyed, holding a baby who had apparently decided to take possession of him.
And yet, he looked down at you again.
Your fingers had loosened slightly now, grip slack but still determined, the metal sigil in between your touch. One foot stuck out from the folds of your linen enclosure, kicking faintly with contentment.
You trusted him, completely. Like how a small cat would nap near its siblings.
The thought landed with surprising weight.
“I think,” Valarr said slowly, “she’ll be upset.”
As if to prove his point, his mother reached out carefully, attempting to slide your fingers free from the the sigil.
You woke fully at once.
Your grip tightened. Your face scrunched, and a sharp, offended cry burst from you, loud enough to echo off the stone walls.
Valarr startled.
“Oh-Seven-” He pulled you closer without thinking, one hand coming up to support your back. “No, no-please don’t-”
Your cry cut off mid-sound.
You blinked and sniffled.
Then settled again, apparently appeased, cheek pressed firmly against his chest.
The room went silent.
Then Baelor laughed again, softer this time.
“Well,” he said, “it seems she’s made her choice.”
Valarr stared straight ahead, cheeks burning.
“I didn’t-” he began weakly.
Maekar gave a low huff that might have been amusement. “She’s stubborn,” he said. “Takes after her brothers I reckon.”
“Gods help us all,” your mother murmured fondly.
Valarr felt oddly proud.
The realization startled him.
He had done nothing to earn it. He had simply…existed. And yet, something about the way you clung to him, unbothered by rank or expectation, made him feel, as ridiculous as it was, chosen.
Minutes passed. Conversation resumed around him, drifting to safer topics. Valarr remained still, barely daring to breathe too deeply in case it disturbed you.
He adjusted his grip minutely, learning your weight, how to support you without startling you. The tension in his shoulders eased by degrees.
Eventually, your breathing slowed again, deeper now, unmistakably asleep.
Your mother watched closely.
“She’s truly out,” she said softly. “Now might be our chance.”
Valarr nodded, careful.
He shifted, slow and deliberate, loosening your grip finger by finger with infinite patience. You stirred but did not wake, lips pursing briefly before relaxing again.
The sigil slipped free at last.
Valarr exhaled, relieved.
But when he began to pass you back, something unexpected happened.
Your hand shot out again.
This time, instead of grabbing the piece of metal, your fingers curled around his.
Valarr froze.
The contact was brief, and clumsy, but it sent a strange jolt through him. Your grip was weak, barely there, but the intent behind it was unmistakable.
Don’t go.
He looked down at you, heart doing something uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
Your mother paused, watching the moment with quiet interest.
“Oh dear...she’s going to be a handful,” she said softly.
Valarr managed a breathless laugh. “I can tell.”
Eventually—carefully, gently—you were transferred back into your mother’s arms. You protested faintly, a soft sound of displeasure, before settling again against her shoulder.
Valarr stepped back, arms suddenly empty.
The absence felt…strange.
He smoothed his doublet automatically, eyes flicking to the loose threads that once connected the metal symbol of his house. The sigil sat askew now.
He didn’t fix it.
“Well,” Baelor said, clapping a hand lightly on Valarr’s shoulder, “you’ve survived.”
Valarr nodded, still staring at you.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “I think I have.”
As your family prepared to depart, Maekar paused beside him.
“She likes you,” Maekar said, matter-of-fact.
Valarr glanced at him, startled. “She is but a babe.”
Maekar’s mouth twitched. “Even so.”
Valarr looked at the dragonian symbol in his hands, then he lifted it up towards his uncle, "perhaps she might search for this when she awakes."
Maekar slowly took the sigil from the young boy, thanking him quietly.
They left soon after, the solar returning to its usual stillness. Valarr remained where he was long after the doors closed, fingers curling unconsciously where yours had been.
He looked down at his chest, the lack of the dragon symbol apparent.
Valarr thought, with quiet certainty, that he would never forget this.
And though he did not yet know why, he suspected it would matter.
—
The journey from Summerhall to the Red Keep was loud with celebration, though none of it felt particularly official to you, only familiar.
Your father indulged you shamelessly.
When you lingered too long admiring the view from a rise in the road, he ordered the caravan slowed. When you expressed even mild interest in a ribbon from a passing merchant, it appeared in your hands before the day was done. He listened when you spoke, smiled when you laughed, and waved off any suggestion that you were being spoiled.
“She’s allowed,” Maekar said flatly, daring anyone to disagree.
Your brothers hovered like they always did.
Daeron walked at your left, satchel of wine in hand. He was relaxed but watchful, ready with a joke or a steadying hand. Aerion stayed closer than necessary, sharp-eyed and territorial, correcting servants before they could fumble and scowling whenever someone stared too long.
“She doesn’t need all this,” you said at one point, gesturing to yourself and at the attention.
Your hair was brushed and rebrushed. Your sleeves adjusted. Your jewelry inspected, removed, returned. At one point, an older attendant fastened a small trinket at your neckline, a simple piece of metal sewn into a ribbon, shaped like the three-headed dragon of house Targaryen.
You touched it absently, as you always did.
Your favorite.
No one remembered where it had come from. You certainly didn’t. It had simply…always been yours it seemed. You liked the way the jagged metal felt beneath your fingers, worn slightly dull with time. It calmed you.
Behind it all, your mother watched.
She said little, but her gaze was sharp and measuring, tracking every indulgence from the attendants. She saw how easily you were loved, and how easily that love might become leverage.
And quietly, without your knowledge, she decided.
You would be betrothed to Valarr Targaryen. for why should her daughter, beloved by the realm, settle for anything other than the heir of the heir.
—
Trumpets announced your arrival.
The Red Keep rose before you, pale stone glowing in the afternoon sun. Courtiers gathered, and servants hurried.
You felt it, even if you didn’t flinch.
Your father rested a hand briefly at your back. Your brothers closed in slightly. The attendants fluttered, whispering reminders.
Inside the keep, Valarr Targaryen was being given the vaguest instruction of his life.
“Be attentive,” his mother told him calmly.
“She is important.”
Important could mean anything.
Valarr smoothed his doublet, fingers brushing the sigil at his chest out of habit. The old one had been replaced many years ago, but his hand still went there without thinking.
“You’ve met her before,” Baelor added, almost as an afterthought. “Once.”
Valarr looked up sharply. “I have?”
Baelor smiled faintly. “She was very small.”
The memory struck like heat.
Tiny hands, the warm weight.
The dragon tugged loose beneath her grip.
Valarr went still.
“I remember,” he said quietly.
—
You entered the hall with sunlight caught in your hair, laughter soft on your lips as Daeron murmured something in your ear. You looked unguarded, and entirely yourself.
Valarr saw you immediately.
And then he saw it.
The trinket at your neckline.
The dragon.
Not the polished sigils worn by courtiers, but a small, slightly worn, metallic mold, attached with a silk bow and silver chains.
Valarr’s breath caught.
His gaze dropped without permission, tracking the familiar shape, the way the ribbon and chains pulled ever so slightly at the edges.
You noticed his stare and followed it down, fingers lifting automatically to the trinket.
“Oh,” you said lightly. “This?”
You rubbed the embroidery between thumb and forefinger, absent, affectionate.
“Well, my prince, I’ve always liked it. ever since I was a child.” you continued. “I don’t remember where it’s from. It’s just…mine.”
Just like that.
Your fingers curled around it.
Valarr felt as though the room tilted, the same familiar feeling from when he held you as a boy all those years ago.
—
Conversation carried on around you, but Valarr heard very little of it. His attention stayed fixed on your hands, on the unconscious way you held the sigil when you laughed, when you listened, when you grew thoughtful.
At one point, you leaned closer to him to inspect the one on his chest.
Your fingers brushed over the smooth metal.
The motion was instinctive, and terribly familiar.
Valarr’s pulse jumped.
Years ago, you had done this exact thing, clutched the dragon over his heart with all the certainty of someone who knew what they wanted and refused to let go.
You did it now without realizing.
Valarr swallowed hard.
“You favor that trinket,” he said carefully.
You smiled at him. “I suppose I do. It makes me feel safe.”
The word struck deeper than it had any right to.
—
Your mother noticed.
She watched Valarr’s expression shifted, how his composure cracked just enough to let something genuine through. She saw the way he looked at you as if seeing a memory made flesh.
She said nothing, although she didn’t need to.
Your father further discussed something Daeron said, while Aerion shot Valarr a warning glance from across the table.
And you, utterly unaware, tilted your head toward Valarr, curiosity bright.
“You’re very quiet,” you observed. “Is court always like this?”
Valarr smiled faintly.
“Not usually,” he said. “I don’t think it’s ever been quite like this.”
Your fingers tightened on the dragon again.
Valarr knew then, with quiet certainty, that this was no coincidence.
You had found him once before, And somehow, you had found him again.
—
Valarr told himself it was coincidence the first time.
The Red Keep was enormous, after all, vast halls and endless corridors, gardens that folded in on themselves, staircases that led nowhere and everywhere at once. It was entirely reasonable that paths might cross. Entirely natural.
He repeated this to himself as he rounded the corner of the eastern gardens and nearly collided with you.
You stopped short just in time, skirts swaying, breath slightly quickened as though you’d been moving fast.
“Oh,” you began, then blinked. “My prince.”
Valarr straightened instinctively, his court etiquette snapping into place before he could stop it.
“Princess,” he greeted.
You rolled your eyes immediately.
“Please don’t,” you said, smiling despite yourself. “I was trying to escape that.”
He followed your gaze.
Daeron and Aerion stood several paces behind you, mid-argument, clearly in the midst of deciding who was more responsible for whatever irritation had driven you off. Daeron gestured animatedly; Aerion’s arms were crossed, expression sharp.
Valarr’s lips twitched.
“I take it they’re the cause of your flight.”
“They always are,” you said lightly. “One of them decided I needed guarding inside the Red Keep of all places.”
It was bright, and it eased something tight in his chest. You shifted your weight, fingers lifting unconsciously to the dragon trinket at your neckline, rubbing the worn thing between thumb and forefinger.
Valarr noticed.
“I won’t keep you,” he said, though he made no move to leave. “Unless you’d prefer my company to theirs.”
You tilted your head, studying him.
“I think,” you said after a moment, “that I would.”
Daeron noticed them. He paused mid-sentence, gaze snapping to Valarr. Aerion followed a heartbeat later, eyes narrowing.
You turned just enough to wave them off.
“I’m fine,” you called. “Go bother someone else.”
Aerion’s jaw tightened, and Daeron sighed theatrically.
“You’re certain sister?” Daeron asked.
“Yes,” you replied. “Unless you’d like to argue in front of the prince.”
That decided it.
Your brothers retreated, reluctantly, casting Valarr one last look that was all warning.
When they were gone, the garden seemed quieter.
“I’m sorry,” you said. “They mean well.”
“I know,” Valarr replied. “I imagine I will be similar if not the same if I were to ever have a sister.”
That earned him another smile.
You walked then, not formally, just drifting along the garden path side by side. The silence between you wasn’t awkward. It settled easily.
Valarr found himself glancing at you when you weren’t looking, to preoccupied with the budding flowers or bugs on the leafs.
At the way you moved without self-consciousness. At the way your fingers kept returning to the trinket, as though drawn there by instinct. At the faint crease between your brows when you grew thoughtful.
He told himself, again, that this meant nothing. he was being courteous is all.
The second time happened in the library.
Valarr had retreated there deliberately, seeking refuge from council murmurs and polite inquiries. He’d chosen a far corner, half-shadowed, shelves towering overhead, the quiet thick and blessed.
He was halfway through a page when he heard footsteps.
Light, feminine steps.
He looked up.
You stood a few paces away, scanning the shelves with open curiosity, an attendant hovering helplessly behind you with a stack of books already in her arms.
“Oh,” you said when you noticed him. “My prince, we meet again.”
Valarr closed his book slowly.
“Should I be offended,” he asked, “or relieved?”
You smiled, stepping closer.
“Relieved,” you decided. “I was hoping for something more interesting than titles about trade tariffs.”
He gestured to the shelf beside him. “History, then. Slightly more intriguing.”
Your eyes lit up.
“You read history for fun?”
“I don’t recommend it,” he said. “But it does grow on you.”
You leaned closer, scanning spines, and without realizing it, without even looking, your fingers found the dragon again.
Valarr’s breath caught.
The same motion, the same unconscious curl of your hand.
“You do that often,” he said quietly.
You glanced down, surprised, then laughed softly.
“Oh. That. I suppose I do.”
“Does it mean something?”
You considered.
“I don’t think so,” you said. “It’s just familiar, and it comforts me.”
Valarr looked away before you could see his expression.
“Yes,” he murmured. “I imagine does.”
You chose a book then, thick, well-worn. You tucked it under your arm.
“Borrowing this,” you said cheerfully. “I’ll return it. Probably.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” he replied.
When you left, the space you’d occupied felt suddenly empty. Valarr sat there for a long moment afterward, staring at the shelf without seeing it.
Twice.
Coincidence, he told himself.
The third time made him laugh.
It was a narrow corridor near the royal apartments—one he rarely used, chosen out of habit more than intention. He rounded the corner quickly, deep in thought—
—and stopped short.
So did you.
For a heartbeat, you simply stared at one another.
Then you laughed first.
“This is becoming suspicious my prince,” you said.
Valarr found himself smiling before he could stop it.
“Either the Red Keep is smaller than I remember,” he said lightly, “or you’re following me.”
Your laughter rang out, a genuine one.
“I assure you,” you replied, “I’d have chosen a more dramatic approach.”
Something in Valarr loosened at the sound.
He relaxed visibly, shoulders easing, the careful distance he kept from most people slipping without effort.
And as you passed him, close enough that he caught the faint scent of summer on your clothes, he realized something unsettling. He hoped it would happen again. That you would always be their as he turns every corner. That you'd inhabit the spaces he so commonly ventured into.
—
Later that evening, as Valarr found himself choosing paths he might run into you on, he stopped short.
And laughed quietly to himself. Valarr did not mean to look for you.
That was the lie he told himself as he chose the longer path through the eastern wing the following morning, one that curved past the small terrace overlooking the Blackwater rather than cutting straight through the council corridor. He told himself he wanted air. Quiet. Space to think.
He did not tell himself he hoped you might be there.
The terrace was empty.
He felt an unreasonable flicker of disappointment before he caught himself and frowned, annoyed at the thought. Ridiculous. You had your own schedule, your own obligations, attendants, family, duties he barely understood. It was foolish to expect-
“My prince?”
He turned.
You stood in the doorway, sunlight at your back, one hand braced lightly against the stone as if you had only just decided to step outside. You looked surprised to see him, and then pleased.
“Oh,” you said, smiling. “There you are.”
There you are.
The words settled somewhere uncomfortably warm in his chest.
“I could say the same,” he replied, a little too quickly.
You stepped onto the terrace, skirts whispering softly against the stone. An attendant hovered briefly behind you, then, at your gentle insistence, retreated inside.
“Everyone keeps telling me where I ought to be, these days,” you said. “It’s exhausting.”
Valarr huffed a quiet laugh. “They do that.”
You leaned against the balustrade beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth of you without touching. Below, the water moved steadily, indifferent to courtly fuss.
Your fingers lifted to the dragon trinket again.
Valarr watched the motion.
“You always go to your neck, when you’re overwhelmed,” he said before thinking better of it.
You blinked. Looked down.
“Do I?”
“Yes.”
You considered that, rubbing the sigil thoughtfully.
“Hm,” you murmured. “I suppose I do. Although my prince, you shouldn't stare at a ladies chest so much, some may find it indecent.”
He could feel the teasing notations behind your words, but he didnt entertain it further. Settling instead to cough into this fisted hand and wait for the warmth of his cheeks to wear off.
—
The feast that evening was unavoidable.
Your nameday demanded it, music, laughter, long tables heavy with food, and a sea of eyes eager to measure, compare, and whisper. Valarr entered with practiced composure, scanning the hall without conscious intent, finding you immediately.
You sat with your family, your father at the center, your brothers flanking you like loyal guards. You looked radiant, not because of your finery (though that was impossible to ignore), but because you were comfortable. At ease. Laughing openly.
Valarr, wanting to ignore his father, made his way toward the high table, intending to sit where protocol dictated. Halfway there, you glanced up.
Your eyes met his. You smiled small, and unmistakably meant for him.
Valarr changed course without even noticing he’d done it. By the time he realized, he was seated beside you.
Your brothers exchanged a look. Daeron raised a brow, and Aerion narrowed his eyes.
You, blissfully unaware, leaned closer.
“I was hoping you’d sit here my prince,” you said.
Valarr felt the words settle into him like a promise.
“Was that so?”
“Yes,” you replied simply. “You make this all fuss feel much less loud.”
Conversation flowed easily, about things he had truly no interest in. Although when you would talk he'd find himself straining his ears just to hear you a little clearer. You spoke of Summerhall, of books you’d borrowed and not yet returned, of how strange it felt to be celebrated so publicly. Valarr listened, found himself answering with more honesty than he ever offered at court.
At one point, Aerion leaned in.
“So,” he said, tone deceptively casual, “dear cousin, how long have you two known each other?”
Valarr hesitated.
You answered first.
“Oh, not long brother,” you said. “We just keep running into each other.”
Daeron snorted. “Funny how that happens.”
Valarr hid a smile behind his cup. Your fingers found the trinket again as laughter rose around you. He noticed how you stilled slightly when someone down the table laughed too loudly. How your grip tightened just a fraction.
—
After the feast, Valarr told himself, again, that he would sleep early. Instead, at the dead of night, he found himself wandering. The corridors were quieter now, torches casting long shadows across stone. He passed servants and guards, nodded politely, turned corners without thinking.
And then, there you were.
Seated on a window bench, skirts gathered around you, moonlight painting silver into your hair. You looked up at the sound of his steps and smiled as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
“Do you ever sleep?” you asked.
Valarr laughed softly. “Rarely.”
You shifted to make room. He joined you without hesitation. For a while, neither of you spoke. The silence was companionable. Comfortable in a way Valarr had rarely known.
“I think,” you said at last, “that the Red Keep is playing tricks on us.”
“Oh?”
“Yes,” you continued. “It keeps putting you in my way.”
Valarr glanced at you, amused.
“Or,” he said lightly, “you’re really following me.”
You laughed. “You’re impossible.”
He liked the way you said that.
Your hand drifted, again, always, to the dragon at your neckline. You rubbed the thread slowly, thoughtfully, eyes distant. Valarr watched, heart tight.
“You don’t remember where you got it,” he said.
It wasn’t a question, you shook your head in response.
“No. I’ve asked before. No one seems to know. It’s always just been with me.”
He swallowed.
“Do you mind that?”
You considered.
“No,” you said finally. “Some things don’t need explanations.”
Valarr thought of a baby’s grip, of laughter, of a torn sigil mended too carefully to discard.
“Yes,” he agreed quietly. “Some things don’t.”
Later, when Valarr finally did return to his chambers, he paused before the mirror. His gaze dropped, unconsciously, to the dragon over his heart.
He smiled faintly.
Across the keep, you slept with the trinket curled in your fingers, unaware of the pattern you were weaving.
And somewhere between chance and intention, between memory and instinct. The prince who kept finding you realized something dangerous. He didn’t want to stop.
—
Valarr did not believe he was flirting.
That was the first and most critical misunderstanding.
From his perspective, he was being thoughtful. Attentive in a way befitting someone who had been told, rather unhelpfully, that you were important. He listened when you spoke. He answered when you asked. He made sure you were comfortable, and safe.
None of that, in his mind, constituted flirting.
It did, however, result in him saying things like—
“You…walk very quietly.”
You paused mid-step, turned to look at him, and burst out laughing.
“That is a compliment?” you asked.
Valarr felt heat rush to his face.
“I meant,” he said quickly, “that you move without-without drawing attention. It’s…efficient.”
“Efficient,” you repeated, eyes bright with amusement. “How flattering.”
He winced. “That came out wrong.”
You smiled anyway, and that somehow made it worse.
From then on, it only escalated. Valarr overthought everything.
Every word was weighed twice. If he spoke too much, he worried he’d bored you. If he spoke too little, he feared he’d offended you. If you smiled for longer than a heartbeat, he went quiet, convinced he’d said something foolish and you were being kind about it.
You, meanwhile, assumed this was simply how he was. Polite, reserved, and earnest Valarr, in an almost awkward way.
You found it endearing. Everyone else found it obvious.
Daeron noticed first.
It happened during a late afternoon walk along the inner ramparts. You were speaking animatedly about a book you’d borrowed—still hadn’t returned, Valarr noted—and he was listening with the kind of focus usually reserved for council matters.
Daeron watched him for a long moment, then leaned closer to you.
“He looks at you like you’re the only person in the keep sister,” your brother murmured.
You blinked. “He does not.”
Daeron hummed skeptically.
Aerion noticed next, and was far less subtle about it.
“So,” he said one evening, arms crossed as Valarr approached. “Is this intentional?”
Valarr stiffened. “Is what intentional?”
“This,” Aerion gestured vaguely between the two of you. “The constant proximity. The hovering around my sister.”
Valarr opened his mouth. Closed it.
“I am not hovering,” he said finally.
Aerion’s gaze sharpened. “You haven’t been more than three steps away from her all evening.”
You laughed, nudging Aerion’s arm. “You’re imagining things brother.”
Aerion looked unconvinced, but said nothing more.
Your father noticed.
Maekar watched the way Valarr adjusted his pace to match yours, during your now daily strolls in the garden with the prince. The way he angled his body toward you, shielding it, he obviously did so without realizing it. The way his expression softened when you laughed.
He had said nothing.
Your mother noticed, and smiled.
She noticed the unconscious gestures. The way your fingers always found the dragon when Valarr was near. The way his eyes followed that motion, every time, as though it were something precious. If it was any man she'd have him beheaded for looking at the princess in such an inappropriate manner.
She did not intervene.
Valarr, meanwhile, was miserable.
He stood in his father’s study one evening, hands clasped tightly behind his back, pacing in short, agitated turns.
“I don’t think she knows I like her,” he said finally.
Baelor looked up from his writing, expression unreadable.
“She doesn’t?”
“No,” Valarr said, running a hand through his hair. “She’s kind. She laughs. She speaks to me easily. I think she assumes I’m merely, being polite.”
Baelor studied him for a long moment.
“You escort her everywhere.”
“Yes, but—”
“You seek her out daily.”
“That’s coincidence.”
Valarr hesitated.
Baelor set his quill down.
“Valarr,” he said gently, “my son you are courting her in plain sight.”
Valarr froze.
“I am?”
Baelor smiled.
“You compliment her, terribly,” he added. “You grow flustered when she teases you. You go quiet when she smiles at you too long, and you look at her like she already belongs beside you.”
Valarr stared at him, horrified.
“That’s-” he stopped, swallowing. “That’s obvious?”
“To everyone but you and her it seems,” Baelor replied.
Valarr sank into a chair, covering his face with one hand.
“She deserves someone-,” he muttered. “-Someone who knows what he’s doing.”
Baelor chuckled softly.
“She deserves someone who sees her,” he said. “And you do.”
The realization hit Valarr slowly. Every interaction replayed itself in his mind with new clarity.
The garden.
The library.
The corridors.
The way you smiled when you saw him.
The way your fingers curled around the dragon without thinking.
He had been courting you.
Not with grand gesture, with care. The next time he saw you, he was acutely aware of it.
You approached him in the courtyard, sunlight warming the stone beneath your feet. “There you are,” you said easily.
Valarr’s heart stumbled. “Here I am,” he replied.
You smiled at him, that same unguarded smile, and for once, he didn’t look away.
“Can I walk with you?” he asked. You didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
And as your fingers drifted, once again, to the familiar trinket at your neckline. Valarr thought, with equal parts terror and certainty.
Seven help me. I am in love with her.
—
The solar was quiet in the way only old stone rooms could be, thick walls holding in the warmth of the afternoon, shutters half-drawn against the sun. Baelor stood near the window, hands clasped loosely behind his back, gaze fixed not on the city beyond but on the reflection in the glass.
Maekar did not sit. He never did, not when something mattered.
Baelor turned slowly, studying him. He had known Maekar his entire life, knew the set of his shoulders when he was bracing, the way his jaw tightened when he expected to be challenged.
“This concerns your daughter,” Baelor said evenly.
Maekar’s expression hardened at once.
“Then you should choose your words carefully.”
Baelor inclined his head slightly. “I intend to.”
Silence stretched between them.
“She is remarkable,” Baelor continued. “Unaffected by court in a way few are."
“She is young,” Maekar replied sharply.
Baelor did not argue that.
“I have no intention of rushing anything,” he said. “But I would be remiss not to acknowledge what is already plain.”
Maekar’s eyes narrowed. “Plain to whom?”
“To anyone with eyes,” Baelor said quietly. “Valarr, most of all.”
That did it. Maekar let out a low breath through his nose, something between a scoff and a warning.
“My daughter is not a consolation prize for a prince who happens to notice her,” he said. “Nor is she a political convenience.”
Baelor held his gaze steadily. “I would never suggest my niece to be that.”
“She has brothers who would tear this keep apart for her,” Maekar went on. “She has a father who has bled for this family. I will not hand her over lightly.”
“I would expect nothing less,” Baelor replied.
Another silence.
“She is fond of him,” Baelor added carefully. “Even if she does not yet know what that means.” Maekar’s jaw tightened.
“And what of Valarr?” he asked. “Is he fond, or merely intrigued?”
Baelor did not answer immediately. “He is…earnest in his affection,” he said at last. “In ways that do not always serve him well. He is thoughtful to a fault. He remembers things others forget.”
Maekar’s brow furrowed. “Such as?”
Baelor hesitated only a moment. “She wore something today,” he said. “A small dragon. Worn with age.”
Maekar stiffened. “That trinket,” Baelor continued, “once belonged to Valarr. Or rather, she took it from him.”
Maekar stared. “She was a baby,” Baelor added. “She grabbed the sigil from his chest and would not let go. We thought nothing of it at the time.”
Maekar said nothing. “Valarr did not forget,” Baelor finished quietly.
The silence that followed was heavier than before. Maekar turned away, pacing once across the room, boots striking stone. When he spoke again, his voice was lower.
“She does not remember,” he said. “She knows nothing of that moment.”
“No,” Baelor agreed. “But she repeats it.”
“She touches the dragon whenever she is overwhelmed,” Baelor said. “Without knowing why, and my son, Valarr notices every time.”
Maekar closed his eyes briefly.
“That does not mean I will give my consent,” he said. “I have seen what the crown does to good men. I will not watch my daughter be swallowed by it.”
Baelor nodded. “Nor would I.”
Maekar looked at him sharply. “Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because,” Baelor said gently, “whether we sanction it or not, something has already begun.”
Maekar’s hands curled into fists at his sides.
“She deserves a choice,” he said.
“So does Valarr,” Baelor replied. “And he has made none lightly.”
Maekar studied him for a long moment. “You speak as though this is decided.”
“No,” Baelor said. “I speak as a father who sees his son walking into something that matters, and I am speaking to another father who would burn the realm before seeing his daughter harmed.”
That, at least, Maekar understood.
“She will not be pressured,” Maekar said firmly. “She will not be paraded. If Valarr wishes anything from her, he will earn it."
Baelor smiled faintly. “I would expect nothing else.”
Maekar turned toward the door, then paused. “If he hurts her,” he said without looking back, “he will answer to me. Crown or no crown.”
Baelor met his back with calm certainty. “He knows.”
Maekar left without another word.
Baelor remained by the window long after. Some bonds, it seemed, did not need memory. Only time.
—
By the final days of your nameday celebrations, the Red Keep no longer felt like a palace.
You had lost track of how many feasts had been held in your honor. How many gifts had been pressed into your hands. How many times servants had bowed too deeply or courtiers had smiled too brightly, their eyes lingering just a moment too long.
Your father indulged you through all of it.
When you complained of sore feet, he waved off protocol and had chairs brought where there should not have been any. When you grew tired of sweet wines, he ordered something lighter without question. When you asked to walk the ramparts late at night, he assigned guards but did not forbid you.
“She’s had enough ceremony for a lifetime,” he said once, flatly.
Your brothers hovered relentlessly.
Daeron teased you about the attention, about how often your name was spoken in halls not meant for it. Aerion said less, but stood closer, watched harder.
Attendants fussed like it was their sole purpose in life. Everyday their were new gowns, new ribbons, new jewels, and endless adjustments.
—
Valarr had never hated celebration more.
Not because of the noise or the spectacle, he had been raised in it, but because celebration demanded visibility ,and with visibility came the scrutiny. And over the course of the week, every look he cast your way felt noticed.
He had not intended for things to become so obvious.
He had not intended to escort you so often, to linger so long, to learn the rhythms of your presence the way one learned music, without effort, without realizing it had happened.
Yet here he was, standing beside you again as musicians played softly in the gardens, torchlight flickering against stone.
“You look tired,” he said, immediately regretting it.
“I am,” you admitted cheerfully. “But it’s a pleasant sort of tired.”
“You’ve been generous with your time,” Valarr said.
You laughed softly. “As if I had a choice.” Your fingers, like oppositely charged magnets attracted towards the sigil at your neck.
Valarr’s gaze followed the motion before he could stop himself. You noticed this time.
Instead, you smiled. “You keep looking at it,” you said.
“I-” Valarr stopped, then exhaled. “I’m sorry, it’s familiar.”
“So you’ve said.”
He hesitated. “Do you ever wonder where it came from?”
“You've also asked that many times," you laughed lightly. “It is all the time I wonder, but I don’t mind not knowing.”
He wondered if you ever would.
—
By the sixth evening, no one pretended anymore.
Servants seated Valarr beside you without asking, musicians timed quieter songs for moments when you two would grace the dance floor. Courtiers bowed a fraction deeper when addressing the two of you as a unit.
—
It was late when you found yourselves alone in a quieter corridor, the sounds of celebration distant. Torches cast long shadows; the keep felt hushed, expectant.
“Valarr,” you said suddenly.
He turned to you at once. “Yes?”
“You’ve been…different,” you said carefully. “This week.”
His heart stuttered. “Different how?”
You considered, fingers worrying the three dragon’s.
“Like you’re thinking several things at once,” you said. “And none of them are simple.”
He laughed quietly. “You’re perceptive.”
“I have good teachers,” you replied.
Silence settled.
“There’s something happening,” you said slowly. “Isn’t there?”
Valarr’s instincts screamed to protect you from it, from politics, from expectation, from the weight of what was coming.
“Yes,” he said honestly. “There is.”
You looked up at him, searching his face. “And does it frighten you?”
He met your gaze. “Yes.”
That answer surprised you. “And yet,” you said softly, “you’re still here.”
Valarr’s voice was very quiet. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
—
Baelor stood beside Maekar in the high gallery overlooking the hall below. The music swelled. You stood among the guests.
“And if she says no?” Maekar asked bluntly.
Baelor did not look away from the scene below. “Then we listen,” he said. “And Valarr will learn to accept it.”
Maekar nodded once. “She will be told tonight,” he said. “Not as an order.”
“No,” Baelor agreed. “As a possible match for the future.”
Maekar exhaled slowly. “My daughter deserves nothing but joy,” he said.
Baelor’s gaze shifted, just briefly, to Valarr, standing close at your side, speaking quietly. “She may have found it already brother.”
—
The final feast of your nameday week was grander than the rest. Banners hung high. The hall glowed with torchlight. The air buzzed, not with celebration alone, but anticipation.
You sensed it. Something about the way servants moved more carefully. The way your mother adjusted your sleeves herself. The way your father’s expression was unreadable.
Valarr felt it too.
When he offered you his arm, his hand trembled just slightly. “Whatever happens,” he said quietly, “I hope you know-”
The music swelled suddenly. A hush began to ripple through the hall. Baelor rose, and your father straightened.
Somewhere deep in your chest, the dragon trinket warmed beneath your fingers.
The hush had crept over the celebrations.
Conversation softened, laughter thinned, the musicians’ tempo slowed until even they seemed to sense it, bows drawing more gently, notes stretching longer than intended. One by one, heads turned toward the high table.
You felt it before you understood it.
Your fingers tightened around the dragon trinket at your throat, the familiarity pressing into your skin. The warmth there steadied you, even as something in the air shifted.
Valarr noticed immediately.
He had been speaking to you, something small, something meant to distract, but the moment Baelor rose, his words faltered. He straightened without thinking, shoulders squaring, expression composed with effort rather than ease.
Your father stood as well.
Baelor waited until the hall was fully still before he spoke.
“Lords and ladies of the realm,” he said, voice carrying easily through the vast space. “We gather tonight to mark the close of a week of celebration, one honoring the nameday of a daughter of House Targaryen, my lovely neice.”
A polite murmur followed.
You felt suddenly visible in a way you had not all week.
Baelor continued.
“It is fitting,” he said, “that such a celebration should also look forward, toward the future of our house, and the bonds that will strengthen it.”
Valarr’s heart began to pound. slow and heavy.
This was it.
He had known it was coming. Had felt it circling the edges of every conversation, every look, every carefully chosen word. And yet, the reality of it struck him all at once, sharp and breathless.
You glanced at him then, not in fear, more so in question.
Oh his sweet girl, he wishes he hide you away now, to not bother yourself with these pagentrys. But he could not, all he could do now was squeeze your hand slightly under the table.
Valarr met your gaze and held it, Whatever happens, his eyes seemed to say, I am here.
Baelor turned slightly, gesturing.
“It is with the blessing of both families,” he said evenly, “that we announce a betrothal.”
Your breath caught.
Maekar spoke then, voice firm and unyielding.
“My daughter,” he said, “has been raised with choice, with care, and with the understanding that her happiness is not a thing to be traded lightly.”
Your heart thundered.
Valarr’s chest felt tight.
Maekar turned fully now, his gaze sweeping the hall before settling, briefly, deliberately, on Valarr.
“She will be wed to a man who has shown her respect,” he continued, “who has sought her company without demand, and who understands the weight of what it means to stand beside her.”
A pause.
Then Baelor finished it.
“To my son, Prince Valarr Targaryen.”
The hall erupted.
A whirl it was, all the whispers rushing like wind through banners. Gasps, and murmurs. The rustle of silk as courtiers leaned closer, already weaving narratives in their minds.
You did not hear any of it, you were staring at Valarr.
He was staring at you.
For one suspended heartbeat, the world narrowed to the space between you.
Your fingers clenched around the dragon.
Valarr swallowed.
“I-” you began, then stopped.
Daeron reacted first.
He leaned back in his chair, exhaling sharply through his nose, a crooked smile tugging at his mouth.
“Well,” he muttered, just loud enough for Aerion to hear, “that explains a great deal.”
Your mother reached for your hand. You realized then that she had known.
“How long?” you whispered, not looking away from Valarr.
She squeezed your other hand gently. “Long enough.”
Baelor raised his hand, the hall gradually settling again.
“This betrothal,” he said clearly, “is made with the understanding that it honors not only tradition but prosperity for the realm.”
Valarr felt his lungs finally draw breath.
You turned toward your father. Maekar’s gaze softened carefully.
“My dear girl, you are not commanded,” he said quietly, meant only for you. “this is an offering.”
You looked back at Valarr. He had gone still, utterly still, waiting.
“I accept,” you said. The words felt solid in your mouth.
The hall erupted properly this time.
Cheers, applause, exclamations too loud to track.
Valarr’s breath left him in a rush so sharp it nearly made him laugh. He bowed his head, briefly, respectfully, then turned back to you.
His voice, when he spoke, was quiet. Almost reverent. “Are you certain?”
You smiled. “Yes.”
Your fingers relaxed, then, without thinking, reached for his sleeve.
Just for a moment, the same way you had when you were a babe.
—
Later, much later, you stood together on a balcony overlooking the city, the noise of celebration dimmed by distance.
Neither of you spoke for a while.
Finally, you laughed softly. “So,” you said. “I suppose this explains why everyone’s been looking at us strangely.”
Valarr huffed a breath of a laugh. “I was told I was courting you.”
You glanced at him. “Were you?”
He considered. “Yes,” he said honestly. “Very badly.”
You laughed again, leaning closer. “I didn’t mind.”
Moonlight caught the dragon at your throat.
Valarr reached out, hesitant, and careful, and brushed his fingers lightly against it.
“You took this from me once,” he said softly.
You blinked. “I'm sorry?” Clearly not understanding his words.
He smiled, warm. "You were only a few moons old, when Lady Dyanna had me hold you, you found the symbol on my chest so captivating you had to have it. So you did, taking it right from my doublet."
Your face grew slightly red, facing the view instead of the prince in front of you. To ashamed to think you had done something so egregious in your early years. "Did I really?"
“Yes,” he said. “And I think I’ve been waiting for you to return it ever since.”
You did not pull away, some bonds, after all, did not need memory.
Summary: Valarr Targaryen was born of focus. Until he spots a quiet noble lady in the stands and immediately forgets how to be normal. He finds her name, tries (poorly) to stop staring, and spends an entire feast planning how not to overwhelm her. By morning, he's engineered a fool-proof plan to encounter her, fumbles the opening line, makes her laugh anyway, and walks away grinning like he's won the whole tourney.
Notes: Reader is shy but not meek or a pushover. She's just not comfortable around people she doesn't know. She could be read as being on the autism spectrum but I didn't go into detail on this, might do that if someone asked me to in a later part.
Under regular circumstances, you wouldn't have made an appearance at the Tourney. Though you suppose searching for marriage prospects is a special occasion. Many would claim it is the grand centrepiece of a young noble girl's transition into womanhood, but for you, it had always been nothing less than daunting.
It was not for lack of options, your house was well-known, well-funded and well-liked, and this called for many, many suitors. Rather, the predicament seemed to revolve around your disposition.
In the past, many had seen your nature to be one of disinterest, though you yourself preferred the term 'shyness'. You struggled to make eye contact with those you did not know and had to actively remind yourself to try and maintain it. Though you did not stutter when you spoke with new people your nerves meant that answers could fall short of what men expected from a woman from such an esteemed house.
That is, if they were interested in your character at all, you'd found that many men only vied for your hand in order to get their hands on the abundance of your house's wealth and lands.
To put it plainly, you were quiet.
Your family never saw the issue with this, though in truth, they did not see the problem. See, your anxieties only affected you around those you did not know. You could speak just fine for hours when you held a connection to whoever you were talking to, but as soon as a stranger entered the picture, your chatterbox nature simply faded away.
Your father hoped to find a suitable match for you at the tourney, someone who could understand your nature and who was not cruel. He would remind you often that you didn't need to love your match, as long as you felt comfortable living alongside them would be enough.
Your attention had been fixed on the field below, where squires hurried between restless horses and armoured men with the brisk, purposeful movements of those long accustomed to tourney days. The lists were nearly ready. House banners snapped overhead in the wind, and the smell of trampled grass, dust, and horse sweat hung thick in the afternoon air.
It was loud enough, busy enough, that it gave you something to look at besides the nobles packed around you. Which, for a time, was a mercy.
You sat beside your father in the nobility section, hands folded tightly in your lap, and tried to keep your face composed as more lords and ladies took their places. The royal section sat nearby, and every new arrival only seemed to make the space feel smaller. Prince Baelor sat proudly as he watched his eldest son ride onto the field.
Your father spoke to you now and again, gesturing towards a man cloaked in green, low enough that no one else might hear. "That is Lord Rowan's second son. The Hightower boy has a temper, if the stories are true." Another pause, as a knight in polished plate was helped into the saddle below. "And there, the Prince."
You followed his gaze before you could stop yourself. Prince Valarr sat astride a dark horse near the edge of the lists, helm tucked beneath one arm while a squire made some final adjustment to the strap at his vambrace. Even at a distance, there was something unmistakably princely in the way he carried himself, upright, still, self-possessed.
"Do not turn too quickly," your father said, his voice so mild it might have been a remark on the weather.
Your fingers tightened over one another. "What is it?" He did not look at you. His gaze remained fixed on the field. "The prince has been looking this way."
For a moment, you thought he meant some other prince, some other direction, some other girl.
"Prince Valarr?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"Mm." Your father's expression did not change, but you knew him well enough to hear the note of attention. "More than once."
Heat rose to your face so quickly you had to turn your head away. "He is not looking at us, surely," you said, and hated how uncertain you sounded. The royalty box was so close he could easily be looking for his father's gaze. Besides, he was probably too far away to truly be able to pick apart those in the audience.
Most men did not concern themselves with quiet girls tucked among the nobility. If his gaze had swept your row, it was by chance alone, toward your father, perhaps.
"Perhaps not," your father said. There was no comfort to be found there.
Below, a herald's voice rang across the grounds, announcing titles to a swell of cheers. You fixed your eyes on the lists and tried to breathe through the tightness in your chest. It was foolish to be so rattled by a thing you had not even seen for yourself.
You would not look, you told yourself. That promise lasted all but three seconds.
When you lifted your eyes, it was meant to be quick, discreet, no more than a glance toward the field. Besides, even if the prince was looking this way, it was such a distance that he would not see your eyes turned to him; there were so many people around you, he couldn't possibly assume you were looking at him.
Instead, your gaze found him at once. Prince Valarr was no longer speaking to his squire. The strap at his arm had been fastened, his reins gathered, his posture set for the lists, and still he was looking intently up into the stands.
He did not smile. There was nothing mocking in his expression, nothing of the easy arrogance some noblemen and royalty wore like perfume. If anything, he looked startled in the strangest way, as though his attention had fixed where he had not meant it to, and he could not quite pull it free.
"Father-"
"Composure," he murmured, not unkindly.
You nodded, though your pulse had begun to pound so hard you could feel it in your throat. Around you, the stands had grown louder, the crowd sensing the start of the tilt. Somewhere to your left, ladies were already whispering behind their hands, though whether about the prince or some other matter, you could not tell.
When your eyes lifted, Prince Valarr was settling his helm at last, the steel catching hard in the sunlight. His horse stamped once, impatient.
The herald called his name, and the crowd answered with a mighty roar for the Young Prince.
He should have turned fully to the lists then. He should have fixed his attention on the knight across from him, on the lance being brought to hand, on the pass ahead.
Instead, before the horn sounded, he looked up toward the nobility seats one last time.
Valarr had ridden in a dozen processions before crowds no smaller than this one, and he had long since learned how to wear attention as if it weighed nothing. As the heir of the heir, it was expected of him.
At tourneys, especially, eyes tended to follow him wherever he went. Sons of noble houses measuring him up, knights judging his seat in the saddle, and noble ladies whispering to one another, pretending not to stare. He knew how to sit straight beneath it, how to keep his expression composed. That didn't mean he took any true enjoyment in the attention.
His horse shifted beneath him, restless with the noise and motion. Valarr steadied the reins with one gloved hand while his squire fastened the strap at his vambrace.
Around him, the field was steadily descending into some form of organised chaos, squires were running amok, and the smallfolk were shouting for their favourites from the fences. He heard none of it clearly. His attention had fixed itself elsewhere.
At first, he had only looked because the seats sat close to the royal section, and his gaze had drifted towards his father. It was nothing more than a habit, some passing inventory of colours and houses. His attention had snagged on one person in particular. She was not the most extravagantly dressed, but that did not take from her comely appearance. In fact, it very well may have amplified it in his eyes. Valarr was often dissuaded by the acts and appearances of other nobles, much like his father; he was not fond of those who flaunted their wealth through their materialism.
The lady sat with her hands neatly folded in her lap beside an older lord, her father, if he hazarded a guess. She carried herself with such careful stillness that it caught his eye at once in the crowd of excited nobility. While others leaned close to gossip or to access a better view of the lists, she seemed to be trying with all her might to take up as little space as possible.
Yet he could not seem to look away.
Her expression held no courtly ease or excessive invitation. There was nothing practised about her features, something he had learned to spot at court as a young boy. She looked toward the field as if anchoring herself to it; perhaps the movement below gave her some shelter from the crowd around her. She was particularly focused on the horses; perhaps she held a liking for them?
Valarr did not know why that struck him so sharply, only that it did, and it shouldn't have mattered so deeply.
"My prince." He blinked out of his reverie and looked down at his squire. He was finished with his strap and was waiting, lance not yet in hand, clearly uncertain whether to speak again.
Valarr simply gave a short nod, more to dismiss him than to answer. Instinctively, he looked back up before he could stop himself. The lady had not yet seen him, which should have been a relief. Staring was unbecoming for a Prince, after all. Instead, he found himself with an absurd, sudden irritation of wanting to know whether she had noticed him at all.
He shifted in the saddle, waving his squire over who had collected his lance. "Who is she?" He asked, as if his squire would know whom he was speaking of naturally.
The boy glanced up to the stands, then back to him, lost in his confusion. "My prince?"
Valarr was yet to take his eyes off her. "In the nobility seats. Beside the lord in blue and silver." His voice remained even despite the impatience that had begun to edge it. "Find out her name, her house. Whatever you can."
The squire stared a half breath too long, surprise plain on his face, before he looked back to the stands, this time successfully locating the woman Valarr had described. "...At once, my prince." Valarr barely heard him take his leave.
He really should have been watching his opponent. Instead, he watched the lady in the stands lower her head as though someone beside her had spoken. Her father, most likely. He had not looked towards the Prince, but his posture had changed. It seemed he had noticed the Prince's gaze.
Valarr ran a hand down his horse's neck as she stamped her hooves impatiently. Then, the woman lifted her eyes. The distance should have blurred her and obscured her face. There was too much movement, too many people between them and yet none of it mattered. Her gaze connected with his directly, and both went still.
There were nerves in her face and surprise enough that he could see it from where he stood. He supposed that is a reasonable reaction given their predicament. She looked away first. Not playing coy or performatively. A simple desire not to maintain eye contact any longer.
Valarr reached for his helm, glancing up one last time after sliding the steel onto his head. He had no business thinking such things at a time like this. he had to focus.
And maybe show off a little, for no particular reason.
He did manage to regain his focus, in the end. Enough to avoid making a fool of himself.
By sunset, the field was all churned mud and broken lances, and Valarr had endured the cheers and the congratulations. His squire, at least, had proved useful.
He had a name now.
He repeated it once under his breath as he changed for the feast, testing the sound of it in private, and found that the sound pleased him more than it ought.
The tent at Ashford was bright with candlelight by the time he entered, loud with talk and music and the clatter of cups. Lords who had shouted themselves hoarse at the lists now laughed over wine, and ladies glittered beneath gold and silk in the heat of the room.
Valarr scarcely saw any of them. He found her near the middle tables, seated beside her father once more. If he had thought her striking from the field, dust and distance between them, then the gods were crueller than he had first suspected. Up close, there was nothing to hide behind.
Even now, amidst all the noise and candlelight, she carried that same careful composure he had noticed in the stands. Her hands rested neatly near her cup. She spoke when spoken to, but sparingly. Her gaze dipped more often than it lifted. Not submissively, but rather politely.
Once, her father leaned nearer and murmured something that made the corner of her mouth turn, not quite a smile, but near enough to one that Valarr felt the shift of it like a hand closing around his attention.
He did not mean to stare. Again. But he supposed the intent meant very little now.
He waited through the first course. Through half of the second. Through two tedious conversations with men who seemed to think recounting their sons' tilts in detail might somehow improve them. At last, when Lord Ashford rose from his place to speak with one of the stewards, Valarr took the opening and crossed the tent.
"My lord Ashford."
Ashford turned at once, surprised, then pleased. "Your Highness. I trust we serve as well as the lists did."
"You do," Valarr said politely. "You have hosted the day admirably. A worthy celebration for your daughter's nameday."
Ashford inclined his head, accepting the courtesy with visible pride. "You honor us."
Valarr let his gaze drift, carefully, as if only taking stock of the space. He did not linger overlong on her table before looking back to Ashford.
"I recognised one of the houses seated near the centre," he said, tone easy. "I know the banner, but not the lord himself as well as I ought. The one in blue and silver. You invited him, I assume?"
Ashford followed the glance and gave a small sound of understanding.
"Ah. Yes." His expression warmed at once. "A good man. We've been friends for years. Steady, fair, not given to boasting, rare enough among our sort." He named the lord, though Valarr already knew it. "One of the first invitations I sent."
Valarr nodded, as though filing away a simple courtesy.
"He seems well regarded."
"He is." Ashford's mouth twitched, amusement rising. "And if you're asking after him, you're not the first tonight."
Valarr lifted a brow. "No?"
Ashford lowered his voice a shade, the look in his eyes turning faintly wry. "His daughter has had no shortage of attention. That tends to happen when a girl is pretty, well-born, and comes with a father sensible enough not to sell her to the first smiling fool."
Valarr kept his expression neutral, though something in Ashford's phrasing settled sharply in his chest.
"Sensible enough?"
Ashford snorted. "He's here to seek a match, same as half those attending, but he's not hunting titles for sport. He wants her settled kindly. He'd sooner take a decent man with less land than a cruel one with twice the banners." That, inexplicably, pleased Valarr.
She was listening to the lady at her other side, posture attentive, though she had not yet answered. Her father said something then, low and brief, and she turned to him at once, more at ease in that single movement than she had seemed with anyone else at the table.
Ashford followed Valarr's gaze, then huffed softly through his nose.
"Some mistake her quietness for disinterest," he said. "They're wrong." Valarr looked back at him. "She's shy," Ashford went on, plainly now. "Reserved in company she doesn't know. There are men in this room who've already decided she must be proud because she doesn't chatter and simper for them." His expression soured for a heartbeat. "Most of them have spoken to her for all of three minutes."
He could picture it too easily: some grinning heir pressing too close, mistaking her silence for invitation, or else taking offense at it when she did not perform as expected.
Ashford gave a half-shrug. "Truth is, she needs time. She must first warm to people, that's all. Once she's comfortable, she's quite the speaker. More eloquent than most. But she won't force herself into easy conversation just because a man comes to her with marriage in his eyes."
Ashford's words settled into place with an ease that irritated Valarr with how quickly they made sense. A young lordling had made his way over to speak with her and was leaning too far in her direction, inflated by his own importance. She answered politely and made brief eye contact here and there, her fingers tightened around the stem of her cup. Nothing in her posture invited him to continue, and yet he did so anyway.
Valarr felt his jaw set, not with jealousy (well, maybe a little, but only because he hadn't had the chance to talk with her yet) but impatience on her behalf. It was a familiar thing, the male entitlement. His father had pointed it out to him numerous times as a child, as advice for the future. Things not to do. As a man, he would likely never fully understand, but hopefully, he wouldn't make others feel less than because of uncontrollable factors.
"They are like flies to honey." Lord Ashford followed his gaze to the Lady.
Valarr kept his voice level, though there was a hint of sadness to be found there. "And she endures it."
"That she does," Ashford answered. "Because she's well-mannered, and because others are watching. But it wears on a person, Your Highness. And despite what the other Lords may think of her quiet disposition, she is not one to simply roll over for others. I imagine it is tiring to live in that juxtaposition, between what she wishes to do and what she must do for the sake of appearance."
Valarr could see it clearly, the tightness of her shoulders paired with the way she glanced at her father as if measuring what was expected of her. He looked back at Ashford. "If time is what she needs, this tent must be the last place to approach her."
Nice one, Valarr, very inconspicuous.
The lord huffed out a laugh. "You've the right of it."
The prince hesitated, he meant to keep it as a simple courtesy. He should keep his interest quiet so that Aerion doesn't hear of it, that's the last thing he needs right now. The words rose in him all the same.
"How should one approach her," Valarr inquired, "if they wished to do it properly?" Ashford's brows lifted with amusement and then softened into something more considered. He knew better than to tease a prince, and perhaps he understood that Valarr was asking this in earnest, which was more than could be said for the rest of the buffoons at the feast.
"Gently," He finally advised. "Preferably without much of an audience. She'll speak openly when she feels safe to, but for that, she must have a feel for your character, so be honest. If you come on too boldly too early, she'll retreat."
Valarr nodded along, organising the information in his mind. "And her father? Would he take offence if a prince were to speak to his daughter?"
"Offence? No. He will take caution. He is protective, and attention from a prince can turn a girl's life upside down even without meaning to." Valarr could not argue with that. "But as long as you are respectful, he'll give you room."
Okay, he could do this. He's done harder things... maybe.
Valarr's gaze drifted toward the royal table this time. Daeron was away in his cups again. His father and uncle were the only ones who sat at the table. Aerion had chosen to eat alone, not wanting to sit with the mongrels, as he'd put it.
His father sat at ease but his eyes swept the hall... and caught his son looking. Baelor's brows rose slightly, then, with the smallest turn of his mouth, more a knowing curve than a smile, he inclined his head toward Valarr, a silent question.
The young prince felt heat rise beneath his collar and was faintly annoyed at how easily his father could see through him. He excused himself from Lord Ashford with a quick thanks and a courteous nod before crossing to the Royal table. He was careful to move as though he'd always intended it, but in truth his mind was stuck thinking of only one thing.
Mercifully, his father waiting until he was within the shelter of the table before he spoke. "You rode well, even with your mind wandering."
"My mind did not wander, father." Valarr would later swear on the Seven that he did not roll his eyes like a child that did not get their way.
Baelor hummed, completely unconviced, and took a slow drink of wine. "If you say so." Valarr stayed quiet, refusing the tease. He would not be dragged into boyish fluster with half the Realm in earshot. "Lord Ashford looked pleased with you. Did you praise his daughter's nameday, or interrogate him about his guests?"
Valarr met his father's eyes. There was only quiet amusement to be found in them; he had always been observant, especially when it came to his boys. One of his more infuriating qualities, Valarr decided in that moment.
"I spoke with him," Valarr said evenly.
"And?" Baelor asked, gesturing his right hand outwards.
The young prince's jaw tightened before he spoke, quieter now. "He says she is shy and doesn't take well to the usual sort of attention."
"A fair and sensible trait to have." Baelor nodded his head.
His fingers curled once against the edge of the table. "Men keep pressing themselves upon her as if pestering is a virtue."
His father regarded him for a long moment. "That displeases you."
"It is unseemly." Valarr stated firmly.
The elder prince's eyes warmed. "Yes, it is. Though, you seem to be considering your options to rectify it." There was no accusation in Baelor's tone, only a kind of gentle, knowing prodding that would've been unbearable had it come from anyone else. "You look as though you're weighing a campaign."
He let out a slow breath through his nose. "I am weighing how to speak to her without making her wish herself back in the stands."
"If she is as Ashford says, then do not make a spectacle of it. That is not your nature anyway. She won't be won by grand gestures." Valarr's throat tightened. He had heard his father speak of it before, in quieter moments: not only duty but the rare, stubborn hope of finding one who makes their world feel less like a board of carved pieces.
The one, Baelor had called it once, with a softness that had made Valarr look away, for he knew the man was thinking of his late wife.
"You have always spoken as if such a thing is real, a match made from interest." Valarr said, and could not keep the faint edge from his tone.
Baelor's smile was small. "It is. Rarely. And not always kindly. But yes, it can be found. Once you do find it, you must take it with both hands and don't let go for anything."
Valarr did not know this girl who had caught his eye, not truly. But it seems that something in him had stubbornly decided that this was not acceptable, that he at least needed to try even if nothing would come from it.
"Then I will speak to her properly, as a man with honour should." Baelor inclined his head, a wordless permission.
His mind was already moving, assembling pieces. A crowded tent simply would not do.
He would probably have to catch her outside, with a chaperone near enough to satisfy propriety but far enough to allow breath. She seemed like the type of woman who would enjoy stargazing or a simple wander to catch some air. He smoothed his sleeve once as if the motion could settle the restless energy in him.
The light of the morning came cool and pale, the kind of chill that made breath visible. The camp was quieter than it had been the night previously, at such an early time the drunken lords from the previous night are still sleeping off their cups.
Valarr dressed without fuss, no heavy riding armour yet, only soft apparel fit for a prince of the realm. His two-toned hair was faintly damp when he stepped from his lodgings, and the air woke him more sharply.
A single guard shadowed him at a respectful distance as he walked as if he had nowhere in particular to be, greeting a knight here and there. He paused by the practice yard long enough to seem purposeful.
In truth, he was hunting for a coincidence. He'd heard it from a squire the night before as idle chatter that she likes to take early morning walks to help her breathe. It wasn't meant to be significant but the prince had taken it as instruction.
He walked the paths on the edges of the camp where the paths were widest but kept his pace unhurried. It took an hour before his plan came to fruition. She was coming along the path between the outer tents, a cloak pulled close to hold off the chill. A maid walked a respectful few steps behind with her hands tucked into her sleeves.
She looked less braced than she had at the feast. More alive or more herself if it were even possible for Valarr who had never spoken to the Lady before to discern that.
Calling for her across the path would be a boyish thing to do, so he simply altered his course, casual, so that their paths would meet naturally.
Perfectly innocent, he told himself.
She noticed him when he was a few metres away. Her pace faltered slightly, from shock most likely, but she did not stop entirely. She dipped into a curtsy, quick, neat and perfect. "My Prince." Her maid followed in kind.
Valarr inclined his head in return, with what he hoped was a kind smile, offering her the respect her station deserved and perhaps a little extra. "My Lady."
A beat of silence followed, only filled by the soft rustle of leaves on the wind. Valarr had rehearsed this, once or twice, in the privacy of his own thoughts. All he had to do was give a small greeting, make conversation about the weather, maybe ask about how her family was doing. Something that let her reply without pressure of being judged, especially by a prince.
Instead what left his mouth was something like this.
"I saw you yesterday." He froze as soon as the words lingered in the air. Her brows lifted as though she did not expect him to be so forward, in truth neither did he.
She did not look put off though she looked as though she might ask a nervous question. Valarr cleared his throat at once, moving as swiftly as he would have to correct poor posture in a spar. "In the stands," he added much too quickly. "I mean, I noticed you in the stands."
That did not sound any better.
He felt his ears warm beneath his hair and cursed himself silently. Then, to his immense relief, the corner of her mouth turned as if she was trying not to smile. The prince had no way of knowing but she had realised after he continued that he meant nothing by his odd words, though his haste to rectify himself amused her.
"As opposed to... where else?" She asked, softly enough that it felt like a secret. Valarr blinked, then a small smile escaped him too. "Yes," he admitted, the two of them had never met prior to this of course and she had noticed his avid attention on her. "That is fair."
Her eyes flicked up and she held his gaze for a second longer before looking to his left, though he knew there was nothing there to look at. That was another thing that struck him, she did not seem to hold eye contact. Even with her father, though she did hold it longer then.
"It's quite alright. I wished to speak to you as well," Her words were careful but sincere. Valarr perked up at their content. "To congratulate you." She continued. "You rode very well."
The praise landed strangely, not like cheers from a large crowd did or flattery offered at court. This was honest.
"Thank you, my Lady. Frankly, I had thought my focus might have faltered."
Her eyes landed back on his and there may have been the urge to retreat there but she did not fall silent. She then looked towards the stables, and her voice warmed a fraction as she spoke. "Your horse is beautiful. Well bred, I imagine."
So she does like horses, Valarr's expression softened without his permission. "She is," he agreed. "She knows it as well, which is her greatest flaw."
His words earned him a small sound, half laugh, half breath, as if she had not expected a prince to speak of a horse of all things with affection.
"You like horses." Valarr said, mostly a statement but with the option to answer as a question, to offer her an easier path.
She nodded once. "Yes. Though, I've been told I have an affinity for most animals. I would have to agree."
Valarr took the opening carefully, mindful of Ashford's counsel. "Do you ride?"
Her fingers tightened briefly at the edge of her cloak. "Sometimes," She admitted, and then with more certainty. "Not as often as I'd like."
Valarr didn't pounce on it the wat other men might've, he did not turn it into a challenge, or an offer, or a boast about what he could do to provide or fix it. He simply nodded. "I understand that, the life of a noble man, or woman, isn't always kind to private habits. Too many opinions on what others should or should not do as well." He didn't need to point out that riding wasn't always considered a 'ladylike' activity, she'd likely been told that numerous times over in her life.
When Valarr looked back at her, he met her assessing gaze. Somewhat surprised he had labelled it so plainly. Other men she'd met had pretended they did not see the pressure at all, or worse, they acted as though the pressure was a compliment.
Valarr was a prince, pressure was probably his oldest companion she thought to himself. He was the heir of the heir. He was expected to be the perfect prince by many, and he withstood this even though he was a man. Princes didn't have to play by the rules the same way princesses do, and yet Valarr seemed to play by them anyway.
Her shoulders eased a fraction and her hands loosened their grip on her cloak. The maid behind her remained a respectful distance but the Lady no longer looked as though she were bracing for a blow from the conversation alone.
"When you do ride, what do you prefer? A fast horse, or a steady one?" Valarr asked with a gentle tone.
Her eyes shifted towards the stables as if she were envisaging the horse held inside, comparing their traits. "Steady." She ultimately decided. "Fast can be thrilling, yes, but that requires trust. Steady is honest, and safer."
Valarr gazed at her side profile. "You sound as though you've already thought about it."
"I think about most things," she admitted, and there was a hint of self-consciousness in the way she spoke, as if it were a flaw she'd been teased for. The she added, quickly. "Too much, sometimes."
He shook his head once. "It isn't too much, as long as it does not tire you."
She continued her slow pace, and wordlessly Valarr followed alongside, she took a glance at him as though weighing whether he was being truthful.
After another few steps, she spoke again, voice almost casual, perhaps too casual, as if she were trying to make her voice so small it would not sting if it landed poorly. "I was... a little nervous," she told him.
"Because of me?"
Her mouth tightened faintly, and looked down at the path ahead of them. "Not of you." she said. "Not truly." There was a pause before she continued. "Rumours travel far," She went on, lighter now. "Even to those who try not to listen."
Valarr's expression went still in a way that was practiced and automatic, she glanced up at him, catching the shift, and hurried to add on before he could take offence.
"About your cousin," she did not need to specify who, Aerion. "And... Prince Daeron, as well. He was-" she hesitated, choosing her words. "-unpredictable last night."
Meaning he was acting like a drunken fool. No surprise there. Valarr's jaw tightened, not at what she was saying of course, but the truth of it. He had spent years learning how to make other people's (usually his cousins) disasters appear smaller than they were. There was no point in pretending to her now.
"You needn't dress it so kindly," he said, looking down at his shoes. "He was drunk."
She showed some surprise at his plainness. It seemed to reassure her rather than unsettle her. "And Aerion..." she added, so quietly as though simply saying the name too loudly would summon trouble. "I had only heard things but my father prefers we keep our distance from... those that might think themselves above consequence."
"A sensible preference," Valarr said grimly, recounting his interactions with his cousin. "That is wise." She looked into his eyes for longer this time. She'd expected anger or at least irritation for her words and found none. "Aerion enjoys being talked about. Rumours are a kind of worship to him, even when it is unflattering. It's best not to feed it if possible."
Her lips pressed together. "And you?"
"Me?" Valarr felt his brows raise.
She tilted her head slightly, the gesture hesitant and small but brave nonetheless. "You are of the same blood." she said carefully. "People like to pretend that blood is destiny."
Something in his chest twisted, not pain exactly but an old irritation at being compared to someone else's sins. He didn't let it show as the irritation was not truly aimed at her. She was right to be hesitant. Targaryens had a record for each generation being worse than the last, it couldn't be denied that being of the dragon's blood seemed to doom them all.
Despite all the words he wished to say he kept it simple. "It isn't. I am more like my father than my cousins."
She nodded in response. That made sense afterall, Baelor was his father. Baelor had raised him. Baelor was good.
"Truthfully, I had worried you might share their sentiments. Though, I think I was wrong." Valarr focused on the latter of her speech.
"And now?" He asked, softly.
Her cheeks warmed faintly, and she looked away so that he could not witness the redness. "Now, I can see..." She searched for the appropriate word, then decided to say the first thing that came to mind. "You are nicer."
The prince blinked, before a small startled laugh left his lips. "Nicer." It might not've been what he was expecting but he'd take it.
She looked back at him, mistaking his tone and thinking that he'd taken offence or that she had misstepped. "I only- I mean it as a compliment, My Prince. You seem... more princely."
"More princely," Valarr repeated, there was amusement in his tone but also something far softer. "Than my cousins." Who are princes, he didn't need to add.
She winced. "I should not have said that."
Valarr shook his head slowly. "No, it's alright. I prefer honestly, truly."
The tension in her shoulders eased, and she exhaled a breath she may not have realised she was holding.
"I'm glad I've been able to speak to you. I was worried I might've made you uncomfortable." She gave a small, helpless shrug that Valarr could only describe as endearing.
"You did." She stated, before raising her hand and holding her thumb and index finger a small distance apart. "About this much." She added, now smiling wider with a teasing lilt. Her smile was more open, and just for a moment it changed her whole face. Then her expression calmed. "I am glad you spoke to me as well. It's been easier than I expected."
Valarr's chest loosened at her admission. He was careful not to stride ahead in his eagerness. "I am glad." He said, and meant it.
They walked a few more steps in quiet. Valarr let the silence exist without rushing to fill it, and she did not retreat into it the way she might have earlier. That alone felt like a kind of progress.
He glanced back, subtly.
Her maid remained at a respectful distance, as a maid ought, gaze lowered and dutiful. She seemed far more relaxed now, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. His guard, too, had slowed, lingering near a tent line as though he had found something of interest in the grass. Far enough away that words would blur.
He cleared his throat, suddenly aware that what he was about to ask was, by all reasonable measures, ridiculous.
"My lady," he began, then paused.
Her brows lifted slightly. "Yes?"
Valarr looked ahead at the path as though it might offer him courage. "When we are... in company," he said carefully, "it is proper that you call me my prince or Your Highness. I understand that."
She nodded once, calm, attentive.
"But-" Valarr hesitated, the smallest fracture in his composure. He recovered quickly. "But when we are not in company, when it is quiet, as it is now… would you be willing to call me by my name?"
Her steps slowed a fraction. Valarr immediately regretted the phrasing. It sounded too intimate. Too forward. Too much like a claim. Fuck, he thought to himself.
He added quickly, voice gentler, attempting to make it smaller so it would not frighten her. "Only if you wish to. Only when we are alone-" he corrected himself at once, remembering the maid behind her, the guard in the distance, propriety like a net between them. "-when we are private. When it would not put you at risk of tongues wagging."
She stopped walking entirely for a heartbeat, then took another step, slower now, as if she needed the movement to think. Valarr kept his eyes on the path, trying to give her the room to answer without feeling pinned beneath his gaze.
When she finally spoke, it was soft, almost careful. "Valarr," she said, as if trying the sound.
His name, in her voice, did something unreasonable to him. He turned his head before he meant to, and caught her looking at him, nervous, curious, gauging his reaction.
"It suits you," she added, quieter. "Better than 'my prince.' I think."
Valarr let out a breath that was almost a laugh, but not quite. "Good," he managed. "Because 'my prince' makes me feel as though I am being scolded by my father."
Her eyes widened, then she let out a small sound clearly not expecting him to say anything so... ordinary.
"It is not meant as a scolding," she said, amused now.
"I know," Valarr replied, the corner of his mouth lifting. "But it is difficult to be at ease when everyone is reminding you what you are."
The amusement in her expression softened into something thoughtful. She looked down at her hands, tucked into her cloak, then back up again with a little more courage than before.
"And what are you," she asked, quietly, "when no one is reminding you?"
Valarr felt the question land like the first touch of a hand, light, but meaningful.
For a moment he considered giving her something witty. Something princely. Instead, he answered simply.
"A man who likes a black horse too much," he said, and then, because he could not resist, "and who makes foolish plans to walk the same path as a lady who prefers the morning."
Her cheeks warmed again. She ducked her head, but the smile returned, unmistakable now.
"I thought it was a coincidence," she said, teasing.
"It was," Valarr replied smoothly. "A perfectly innocent one."
She laughed softly, and the sound was quiet enough not to carry, but it warmed him more than the morning sun ever could.
They continued walking, the path narrowing again between tents. A sleepy squire shuffled by in the opposite direction, rubbing at his eyes; Valarr offered him a brief nod, and the boy hurried past as if chased by dragons.
When they were alone again, Valarr spoke.
"And what should I call you?" he asked. "May I use your name as well?"
Her breath caught, just slightly, and her gaze flicked toward her maid behind her, then back to him.
"Yes," she said honestly. "Though only when we are in private."
Valarr's answer came quickly. "Of course." It felt like a small trust being placed into his hands, light as a feather and just as easy to harm if he grasped too tightly.
They walked a little farther with the camp slowly waking around them. Valarr kept his pace, careful not to crowd her, and careful not to look too pleased with himself.
He miserably failed at the latter.
He could feel it in the way his mouth kept threatening to curve into a smile, in the way his thoughts kept skipping ahead. She had said yes.
It was ridiculous, a tiny victory but it was also the most hope he'd felt in longer than he cared to admit.
They were nearing the point where she would inevitably have to turn back and Valarr would need to properly prepare for the day ahead. He didn't want to steal more of her morning or press to hard so he stopped briefly at the end of their walk.
Her name came from his mouth before he could hold it back. She turned to face him, expression a little shy but warm as well. "Yes, Valarr?" She asked, and the fact that she'd used his name without being prompted made his chest tighten. He hoped it didn't show.
"I should let you go. Your father must be looking for you."
"Yes. I should return."
"I am glad," Valarr said, choosing the words with care. "that you did not find me as dreadful as you feared."
Her lips parted, then her smile returned, small and genuine. "You're not dreadful at all." She said. "Perhaps, a little odd."
Valarr huffed a quiet laugh. "Odd?"
"Only a little." She smiled wider once more. "Besides, being odd is good. It makes you unique. Unforgettable."
Unforgettable. Valarr's heart skipped a few beats. That was good... right? That was promising.
"I will treasure it," He promised solemnly, to cover his true feelings, the amusement in her eyes brightened for a heartbeat. "If you walk again tomorrow morning," his tone lighter, "I will not pretend I am above another coincidence."
She nodded once. "Then perhaps... I will take the same path."
He bowed his head. "I will be grateful for my good fortune."
"Have a good day, Valarr." She finished softly.
"Have a good day," he replied and then because her maid was drawing closer. "My Lady."
She gave him one last look, then turned and continued on, cloak brushing dew from the grass.
Valarr stood where he was until she disappeared from sight. He turned to leave and touched two fingers to his mouth, as if to keep the smile from escaping too openly, he walked as if he had not just been unmade by a single conversation.
He had no way of knowing that she'd gone straight back to her private lodgings, avoiding her father completely, and that the instant she was alone she flung herself face-first into her pillow to muffle a delighted squeal while kicking her legs like a girl half her age.
Utterly and hopelessly charmed.
This might be a multiple part series.
Oscar Morgan, you have bewitched me body and soul. I've literally been working on this since seeing him for the first time. He slayed his miniscule amount of screentime and lines.
they warn you about your neighbor jason todd the same way they warn you about black cats. and on halloween, you meet his cat in an alley, see through the superstition, and choose kindness where others always chose fear.
people in the neighborhood don’t really talk about jason todd so much as they talk around him. half-sentences, raised brows, little warnings passed along like they’re being helpful. don’t park there. don’t get involved. don’t expect anything nice.
you hear it through open windows when you walk past, through chain-link fences and over low music, through the way voices dip when he’s mentioned like he might hear them anyway. like he’s listening from the walls.
but jason never does anything that matches the reputation. he keeps his head down, hands in his pockets, fixes things that don’t belong to him without asking. you’ve seen him patch the broken gate by the alley late at night, quiet and focused, like it matters to get it right even if no one thanks him for it. mean people don’t do that.
so when you hear about the cat, you already know not to trust the story.
someone tells you it’s aggressive, feral, unpredictable. says jason dragged it home off the street like that explains everything. someone else adds, offhand, that it’s black—like that alone settles the argument. bad luck, they say. bad omen. the kind of thing you’re supposed to keep your distance from. you just hum and keep walking, already guessing how much of that is projection.
it’s halloween when you go looking for him.
the neighborhood’s louder than usual, porch lights blinking orange, fake cobwebs sagging between railings, kids running in packs with sugar-high laughter that carries a little too far.
people say it’s harmless, say it’s tradition, say it’s just jokes. you hear someone mutter something about bad luck and black cats and you feel that familiar, irritated pull in your chest.
you grab a jacket and your keys and head out before you can overthink it.
you don’t have a plan, exactly. just a feeling that sits wrong in your chest, heavy and insistent. the kind you’ve learned not to ignore. halloween does that to people—gives them permission to be cruel and call it tradition, lets them dress it up in superstition and laugh while they do it.
you cut through the block behind the strip of houses, where the lights thin out and the noise dulls into echoes. trash cans line the alley like a bad idea, lids dented, wheels squeaking when the wind nudges them. one of the dumpsters is tipped slightly open, lid rattling every time a car door slams somewhere nearby.
something’s been left behind near it—a kid’s bike tipped on its side, one wheel bent in on itself like it was kicked too hard. a plastic pumpkin is still taped to the handlebars, cracked straight down the middle, grin split and useless now. it feels intentional. like someone decided it was easier to break something than carry it home.
at first you think you’re imagining it.
then you hear it—soft, panicked, trapped.
you slow to a stop.
there’s laughter, too. not close, but close enough. you round the corner and catch the tail end of it: a group of kids in cheap masks, one of them kicking the side of the dumpster before darting off. “bad luck,” someone says between laughs, like it’s the punchline.
“hey,” you snap, sharp enough to cut through them. “get out of here.”
they scatter, startled, bravado evaporating the second they’re noticed. the alley goes quiet again, except for the rattling lid and the small, broken sound coming from inside the metal bin.
you crouch immediately.
“it’s okay,” you say, softer now. “they’re gone.”
a hiss answers you—thin, defensive, more fear than threat. you peer inside and see him pressed tight into the corner, fur puffed up, eyes blown wide. black as midnight except for a clean white stripe cutting through his fur, stark and unmistakable, like it was painted there on purpose.
someone wedged the lid down.
your jaw tightens.
“that’s not superstition,” you mutter. “that’s just being cruel.”
you don’t reach in. instead, you grab a stick from the ground and use it to prop the lid open, slow and careful so it doesn’t clang shut again. the sound makes him flinch, body tensing like he’s bracing for another scare.
“hey,” you murmur. “i see you.”
your voice comes out softer than you expect, like you’re talking to something fragile instead of something everyone keeps calling dangerous. you don’t move closer. you don’t reach in. you just stay right there, knees pressed to the pavement, hands loose in your lap so he can see you’re not a threat.
he only settles when your hands stay where he can see them, fingers still.
his body stays coiled tight, every line of him drawn inward, claws scraping faintly against metal as if he’s deciding whether fear or hunger gets the final say.
the sound is sharper than you expect. harsher. it makes something flicker in your chest, a brief, unwelcome thought slipping in before you can stop it—maybe they’re right.
you let him.
you breathe slow on purpose, make yourself small in all the ways that matter. the night air smells like candy wrappers and cold metal and something burnt from down the block. somewhere a car passes, bass rattling windows, and he flinches again, a sharp little shudder that pulls at your chest.
“you’re okay,” you say gently, like reassurance is something you’re offering, not demanding. “i promise.”
you reach into your pocket carefully, narrating the movement without thinking about it. “i’m just grabbing something, sweetie. that’s all.”
when you pull out the treat, you don’t hold it up like a prize. you set it down instead, just outside the dumpster, sliding it across the pavement with one finger before pulling your hand back into your lap.
then you wait.
it takes time. long enough for your legs to start aching, long enough for another burst of laughter to float down the block and fade again. every sound makes him tense, but he doesn’t retreat further. that feels important.
finally, he leans forward. sniffs the air. pauses like he’s waiting for punishment.
none comes.
when he jumps down, it’s clumsy, awkward, like he hasn’t trusted his own footing in a while. he eats fast, eyes darting up between bites, waiting for the trick, the grab, the laugh.
you don’t give him any of it.
you just sit there, quiet company in a loud world, letting him finish.
when he’s done, he stands there uncertain, tail flicking once, twice. you slowly extend your hand, palm open, stopping well short of him.
“it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you say softly. “i’ll still stay.”
that’s what finally breaks something open.
he steps forward and presses his head into your palm like he’s been holding the night up by himself and finally decided to put it down. his purr starts hesitant, like he’s embarrassed by it, then grows steadier when your fingers scratch gently behind his ear.
you smile without realizing it.
“hi baby,” you whisper, fond and warm. “there you are.”
he looks up at you when you say it, really looks, and that’s when you notice his eyes—green, bright even in the low light, sharp in a way that feels more observant than aggressive. they soften a little when your fingers keep moving, slow and steady, like you’re not afraid of what you’ll find if you linger.
you smile without thinking.
“what’s your name, cutie?” you murmur, like it’s the easiest question in the world.
he blinks at you, purr stuttering for half a second, then continuing like he never meant to stop. you laugh softly and reach for the tag, careful not to tug, reading it by the streetlight’s glow.
ONYX.
you hum. “onyx,” you repeat, trying it out. “yeah. that fits.”
he leans harder into your hand, like he agrees. you think about the way people talked. aggressive. feral. dangerous. you look at the way he lets you cradle his head now, the way his claws stay tucked in, the way his whole body relaxes like he’s been waiting for someone to get it right.
“they really don’t know you at all,” you say quietly, more to yourself than him.
onyx flicks his tail.
you shift closer, careful, and when he doesn’t pull away you scoop him up just enough to rest his front paws against your chest. he stiffens for half a second, then melts again when you keep petting him.
“so scary,” you murmur, affectionate and teasing. “so mean. clearly a menace to society.”
he purrs louder, offended on principle.
you laugh, soft and breathy, and before you can second-guess it you lean in and press a kiss right between his ears. your lipstick leaves a bright little mark against black fur, messy and unmistakable.
you already brace for it—the scramble, the hiss, the way trust evaporates the second it’s asked to stretch too far. you accept the risk as soon as you take it, hands staying open, still, ready to let him bolt if that’s what he needs.
you stroke his back, slow and soothing, and think about how easy it is for people to mistake silence for hostility. how often stillness gets read as threat. how often something hurt gets called dangerous just because it doesn’t beg to be loved.
“you’re not bad luck,” you tell him softly. “you’re just… misunderstood.”
onyx presses his forehead into your chin like he’s sealing the agreement.
then he pulls back, not startled, not afraid—just done, the way cats decide a moment has reached its natural end. he hops down from your arms with a little huff of independence, tail flicking once like punctuation.
“hey,” you laugh softly. “okay, okay.”
he pauses a few feet away and looks back at you, green eyes catching the light. calm. like he’s committing you to memory instead of running from it.
he blinks slow.
then he turns and trots off down the alley, quiet and sure, lipstick mark still stamped right on his forehead like a secret only the night knows about. you watch until he disappears between the houses, the sound of his steps fading into the hum of halloween.
you sit there a moment longer, letting the quiet settle back in. thinking about reputations. about how easily people confuse silence for danger, fear for cruelty, scars for intent. about how some things don’t need to be fixed—just seen.
you stand eventually, brushing off your jeans, the feeling in your chest lighter than it was when you left.
and somewhere, not far from here, someone else with the same reputation has no idea that tonight—of all nights—the story is already starting to change.
jason comes home late, jacket half-zipped, helmet tucked under his arm, the night still clinging to him in the form of cold air and old exhaust. the neighborhood’s mostly asleep now, halloween burned out to candy wrappers and sagging decorations, porch lights flicked off one by one like the block’s finally exhaled.
he sets his keys down. toes off his boots. routine. quiet. the kind of careful movement you learn when you don’t want to wake anything that might already be on edge.
“onyx?” he calls, low.
there’s a pause.
then soft footsteps.
the cat appears in the doorway like nothing in the world could possibly be wrong. tail high. eyes bright. whole. he pads over like he owns the place, hops up onto the counter with practiced ease, and sits.
that’s when jason sees it.
he stops short.
right between onyx’s ears, stamped clear as day against black fur, is a smudged lipstick kiss. unmistakable.
jason just stares.
“…what,” he says finally, flat and confused, like the word might rearrange itself into an explanation if he waits long enough.
onyx blinks at him. slow.
jason steps closer, squinting like maybe the light’s playing tricks on him. he reaches out, hesitates, then gently cups the cat’s head, thumbs careful, like he’s afraid to break something.
he makes sure his hands stay visible, movements slow and cautious, like he’s learned that some things only relax when they can see you coming.
his chest does something weird.
“someone touched you,” he mutters. not angry. not upset. just… stunned.
onyx purrs, leaning into the touch like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
jason exhales through his nose and rubs a hand over his face. “…yeah,” he says quietly. “guess they didn’t think you were so scary after all.”
he scratches under onyx’s chin and the cat melts, trust absolute, like tonight taught him something important about hands and voices and the difference between cruelty and care.
jason leans back against the counter, watching him, the quiet settling in around them. he doesn’t know who you are. doesn’t know where you found his cat or what made you stop or why you left your mark like a promise instead of a claim.
but he knows this much: someone saw gentleness where everyone else kept insisting on danger.
and for reasons he can’t quite explain, that thought stays with him long after the night finally goes still.
he doesn’t wipe the mark off right away. later, when the apartment’s quiet and onyx is curled up warm and safe, jason finds himself standing by the window longer than usual, looking out at the dark like he’s waiting for something he doesn’t know how to name yet.
.⋆♱ EPITAPH You never really had an opinion on your colleague Red Hood, that is until you walk into him interacting with some kids or You and Red Hood get set up by alley kids.
.⋆♱ CAUTIONS gotham crime alley, lmk if there’s anything else.
.⋆♱ COFFIN CONTENTS vigilante!reader, alleyway kids, red hood doesn’t know you’re actually his colleague and you don’t know his identity, gifts and burgers for the kiddos, reader has a friend who lives in said alley who has a kid, jason says something creepy accidentally ACCIDENTLY it’s for the plot im sorry, he’s very apologetic i promise, he also thinks reader is pretty—self indulgent with that sorry.
.⋆♱ A STARR'S WHISPERS you will NOT believe how inconsistent this is idk i’m bad at articulating myself rip forgive me it’s also not proofread lol
OUT OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW, YOU LEAST EXPECTED RED HOOD TO BE…GOOD WITH KIDS?
Heck, you weren’t even on duty that day, on and about as your regular civilian self trying to have a semblance of a social life. You were visiting a friend in crime alley, a place you were more accustomed to through the rooftops. You were huddled up in your winter wear which is somehow not warmer than your vigilante suit. Made no sense and you were now cursing yourself for not putting on another layer.
You readjust the strap of the duffle bag hanging from york shoulder as you turn into the alleyway of your friends house when you come across…Red? The shorthand you refer to him as when under the mask almost slips out of your mouth. “And I got 13 point out of 15 on my reading test!” A child exclaims. A child from a ring of children standing around the giant man, who was crouching down to their height.
“That’s wonderful, Cece.” His voice is soft, undistorted, you’re not used to that. You stare at the back of his red helmet, your opinion of the vigilante moulding and changing in real time. You didn’t know him all that well, his reputation did a lot of the speaking, but you always preached that one couldn’t gauge someone through other’s words.
But personally? The two of you had gotten off on a bad start.
You were called in by the Big Bat, to help with something. You had pitched an idea, something that had worked time and time again for you in the past. But Red Hood shot it down immediately, rather bluntly. His plan on the other hand was disregarded too, not before the two of you had a few words back and forth, taking on a frustrating loud turn.
After that, it was strictly professional, only talking of necessary.
Now…geez.
He’s being so gentle. You stay in a shadow, observing. He patiently and genuinely listens to each story the children tell him with enthusiasm. You note the disregarded Big Belly Burger boxes and covers and ketchup smeared using one child’s cheek. “Good job, Jimmy.” He says and holds up his hand for a high-five which leads to a string of them as all kids smack his hand with force and he makes sounds of faux pain.
The smile on your face is involuntary as the sounds of joy, you’d never seen the kids this happy except around you, a tab bit of jealousy hides in your heart at not being their favourite person anymore.
He’d make a good father.
Woah, you didn’t expect your brain to betray you like that. You miscalculate momentarily, side stepping right into a soda can, making a huge crunch sound as the soil crumbles on under your foot. Buuuusted.
When you look back up, Red Hood is standing straight up and looking straight at you as the children hide behind his huge figure. You sigh before you step into the dim street-light, immediately eliciting gasps from the group of children.
“Auntie!” One of the kids, your friend’s son, yells before he breaks into a sprint towards you. You set your bag just a moment he jumps into your arms. “It’s Miss!” another kid exclaims.
“Oh!” You coo. “Dean! You got taller.” You chuckles as you position of 8-year old on your hip. The kids switch sides immediately, running to crowd around you, leaving a mildly-confused Red Hood behind. You press a kiss to Dean’s forehead as he puts his head on your shoulder, getting comfortable.
“Miss! I got taller too!” One of the girl, yells, her hand up, waving at you. You gasp dramatically before you ruffle her hair, “At this rate, you’ll be taller than me in no time!” The chatter continues as you try your best to keep up with it, all the kids giving you updates on their lives.
You set Dean down, crouch down into the crowd, paralleling Red Hood from just a few moments ago, giving each kid your attention. “I like your pigtails, Nancy. No, Micheal, you’re not ugly, acne isn’t ugly, dear.”
Red Hood blink under his mask, turning to disappear back into the city, not before his sleeve is tugged sharply. “Mr. Red Hood! You have to meet our Miss!” Cece, the kid from before, grabbed his hand, putting all her body wait into pulling him.
“Huh—“ Jason doesn’t get a word out before, “Yes! You have to!” Erupts a chorus from all the kids, a couple running back to assist the effort to pull the hooded man towards where you are. You look down the alley to see the comical scene of Red Hood stumbling towards you as the kids push or pull at him, he lets them.
“This is my Auntie!” Dean, your friend’s child perks up, jumping in excitement to introduce the two of you. Your eyebrows hit your hairline, the other kids chiming into it.
“Miss always brings us gifts.” One yells, reminding you of your bag. You reach for it, opening the zip to pull out a single wrapped gift and holding it up. “Everyone remembers the rules, right? No fighting, no yelling.” The kids nod as you repeat the trained words. “You have to dispose of the wrapping paper neatly. If you want to trade gifts with someone, you come to me first.”
Yet again is a song of agreement through the group before you start handing out the wrapped gifts of different shapes, calling out the names written on them and passing them to the respective kids.
Red Hood—Jason is…stumped. To say the least.
He’s never seen you around these parts before. Jason has been taking care of these kids for months now, sure he’s overheard your name once or twice but he filed it away as maybe another kid. Now there you were, passing out gifts to every single kid, so much as having spare gifts for the kids who didn’t like the ones you got them.
Jason could’ve disappeared by now, all the kids were utterly distracted but he had to make sure you were actually one of the good guys. You glance up at him occasionally, looking at him through your eyelashes as the streetlight above you illuminates your silhouette.
After about 15 minutes, the children remember that he’s there, and they begin showing off their new gifts to him. They look so happy. And every gift was personally picked out for each child, one can tell just by their excitement.
Now there was a group of 10-15 kids jumping around two adults. One thing leads to another, before you hear something that, well, changes a lot of things.
“Miss is our favourite person. She’s very very nice and very very pretty. You should take her on a date!” One of the younger boy yells, prompting a string of agreements through the group of kids.
“Kiddos, I don’t think—“ You try to interject but are of no help.
“A date! Yes! Dinner!” A girl cuts you off as she tugs Red Hood’s sleeve. “You have to get her flowers!” Someone else. “We will help you.” Another kid.
Shit. You and Jason think at the same time.
“Miss! He even got us burgers! He’s very nice and very tall! See! What more do you need from a man?” A girl turns to you like she was giving you a sales pitch.
“Beth, honey. You are ten years old.” Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes as the other kids then start sales pitching the tall hooded man to you. “He’s very very strong! HE CAN LIFT A CAR!” A boy goes crazy about it, going on and on about, um, Red Hood’s gym routine.
Now there’s an impromptu think tank of children planing the perfect date between two people who just let who don’t exactly know each other’s identity properly. You and Red Hood just stare at each other, still crouching on the ground as a full mission debriefing around the pair of you.
“Mr. Red Hood, do you have a girlfriend?” One of the kids yells. “Or boyfriend!” Another kid adds.
“Okay—Let’s not bother Mr.Hood, guys.” You say with finality, quieting some of the chatter with the look in your eye.
“Please. Mr. Hood was my father. Call me Red.” Red Hood says with faux seriousness, causing all the kids to giggle. Oh, now, he has jokes. He didn’t find you funny last week when you cracked a joke on patrol. He’s looking at you. His helmet is turned elsewhere but he’s looking at you, you’ve started to get a pretty good hang of that by now.
You press your lips together, the tips almost twitch up into a smile. You shake your head before tilting it as you look at him, your eyes narrowing with a twinkle only amusement. Your tongue goes to poke the inside of your cheek slightly, trying to convey your dissatisfaction.
“And no, I don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend.” He barely gets the words out before all the kids start cheering.
“Don’t encourage them.” You scold in a low voice and he tilts his head at you too and for some reason you can picture a teasing cocky smirk on his face. Shut Up Brain! The conversations around you break out again, but both your eyes are locked onto each other. He couldn’t have figured out who you were, you wore a voice distorter at work too.
“Time to get home! All of you! Or no more gifts from next time.” You clap, every single child yelling out ‘Nooooo!’. “Home. Home. Home.” You chant as you herd the kids, no help from Red Hood, watching them yell goodbyes and running to their homes with their gifts in hand.
Kudos to the ability of children who move from one task to another so quickly that they forget about the previous one momentarily. You and Red Hood stand up, waving goodbye to kids, and for some reason, the two of you gravitate to each other, ending up standing just a few feet away from each other.
“It’s very nice of you to bring them gifts.” Red Hood’s says, slightly startled you with his real voice coming out of the helmet, he seemed to have forgotten to turn the distorted back on. His voice is in the lower octave, thick with the Gotham accent. It’s smooth like whiskey, and you can’t lie that it sounds good to your ear.
“Of course. They need someone to be looking out to them.” You whisper, Dean, your friend’s kid hugging your leg. You pat his head, smiling down at the kid. “Go in, kiddo, tell your mama i’ll be right in.” Dean nods before he waves to Red Hood before running to his house.
“You’re very good with kids.” You whisper, with uncharacteristic gentleness as two of you continue watching the scene. Red Hood—Jason look down at you, you look kind. He doesn’t know why but his intuition is trained enough. The soft smile playing on your lips feels kind. And you’re pretty too. Woah, no. Jason, not right now.
“Thank you.” He clears his throat to cover his slight fluster. You look up at him, catching him looking at you, his eyes darting away at record speed. You’ve never seen him stand so straight up, shoulders squared, hands behind him, stance reminding you of a solider, maybe even like he was…nervous.
You let out a soft chuckle, looking back in front, smiling openly now, a soft blush on your cheeks, little from the cold and little from not. “Will you be staying the night there?” Red Hood’s says question breaks the silence, jarring you, how random. “Uh. Why does it matter?” You ask.
“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be walking around in the streets by yourself at night.”
He hears it immediately after it leaves his mouth. A beat of silence. Another one. Before you burst out in full body laughter. Jason—Red Hood basically flinches, already scolding himself for wording it like that. “Oh God. I-I didn’t mean it like—Jesus.”
You don’t even say anything, just laughing for some unknown reason. Gosh, you can’t breathe. Red Hood just said that. He’s also called you pretty. The laugh leaves you loud and fast, making you bend at the hip as the sounds of beautiful joy surround the two of you.
She even laughs pretty. No Jason. NO.
“Fuck. I just sounded like creep. I’m sorry.” He walks off towards a wall, facing it like he was putting himself in time out, his hand covering the white eye cutouts of his mask. And he stands against the graffiti covered wall as you cover your mouth to try and muffle your laugh after you hear a few people from the high above apartments telling you to shut up!
“I don’t know why you’re laughing.” He grumbles as you wipe away tears of happiness. You let out a sigh, a ‘ha’ sound leaving your mouth as you hold your stomach that hurts from laughing. “I know Muay Thai. I can take care of my self. Thank you, handsome.” You emphasised the last word.
He knows you can fight. You—The vigilante you. Shit, Red Hood knew your vigilante self could probably even beat his ass. But he doesn’t you that civilian you can. He shakes his head as he turns to face you again, his hands on his hips. “I—I just meant that—You know how Gotham men are and you’re—you know. Conventional attractive.” He stutters through his words. His words make you giggle again.
“I’m digging my own grave, aren’t I?”
You nod vigorously at those last words. Who knew such an intimidatingly presently man was actually so adorable. “I promise I can beat any ‘Gotham men.” You say as you throw a few punches into the air with perfect form. It seems to convince him, maybe, not really. He’s kind of more entranced by you. God, you look beautiful—Stop.
“See you around, Red.” You say as you turn to walk towards your friend’s house, your original objective for the night. “I’m sorry.” He calls out again as you walk away, you chose to simply wave, looking over your shoulder with a smirk.
Why did you feel so familiar to him?
ᯓ★'s P.S. yeah uhhh not sure about that ending yay! no rizz jason is back and idk about the whole thing after the ‘pretty girl’ line but leeny said okay so😭
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Synopsis: Jason Todd didn't plan on joining a local book club, but after seeing you interested in it, he decided he could make an exception just this once.
Disclaimer: lowkey plotless i fear.
Author's Note: writing for a new character, especially when that character isn’t the super awesome damian wayne, is like trying to ride a horse. you need to get the reins of it. i also may or may not be projecting in some scenes. call it a watermark. it was very fun writing for jason! let me know if there's places where he seems ooc.
When Jason Todd said that he was “doing his own thing” tonight, it piqued the interest of every single one of his colleagues. But would Jason reveal the truth that he was going to a book club in some cozy hipster cafe around the corner? Absolutely not. Was it safe to assume they’d find out anyway? Probably.
His feats were measured in insane calibers– ones that weren’t common to the average Joe. After all, not a lot of people can say they died and rose from the dead. Then again, not a lot of people in his inner circle would spend a Thursday night at a book club.
“Just say you’re going on a date, Todd.” Damian had scoffed at Jason. Whatever that meant. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been tailing a suspected mobster through the nicer part of town–you know, actual surveillance work, very professional–and he’d gotten distracted. Not by the target, but by you.
You’d stopped in front of the community board, eyeing the flyer advertising a monthly book club. Something about the way you tilted your head in earnest curiosity with a smile, soft and a little hopeful, made Jason forget what the hell he was even supposed to be doing. While you snapped a picture of the flyer with your phone, Jason had subconsciously memorized the details of the event. Honestly, he was going to forget about it, but by some miraculous, semi-convenient twist, he had to sit out from patrol the same day the book club was set to occur. And for some stupid reason, he could not get that image of you looking at the flyer out of his head. Soon enough, he was mumbling a “gotta go” to anyone who caught him before he disappeared.
So now, Jason stood in front of this cafe in a leather jacket that would probably stick out like a sore thumb because who the hell wears a leather jacket to a book club? He gritted his teeth before walking in. Jason told himself he was going to check out the vibe, realize it was obviously not meant for him, and definitely keep a low profile before–
Oh. There you were.
Jason’s heart did an annoying flip he was going to ignore forever. You were curled up in the corner seat, book already opened in your lap talking to a guy who looked like he came straight out of the 2016 millennial Tumblr aesthetic blog, while the other person next to you looked like he came straight from a performative male competition.
“First time?” A cheerful woman appeared behind him.
Caught off-guard by the sudden intrusion, he said the first thing that came to mind: “Uh. Somethin’ like that.” Real smooth.
“Wonderful! We’re just getting started. There’s a seat right over there!” She gestured broadly, and Jason’s eyes tracked back to the empty chair directly across from you. He sucked his teeth before laughing dryly. Well, there was no turning back now.
He wove through the scattered chairs, aware of the ogling as he passed–yeah he didn't fit the aesthetic. He dropped into the seat, glancing up only to meet your eyes. He watched recognition flicker across your face– not that you knew him, but like you’d seen him around. Maybe at the deli on the corner. Maybe passing by on the street.
You smiled. Small, polite, curious. And in that moment, Jason knew that he was screwed.
He could still technically leave. Say he got the wrong address, wrong event, emergency call from work, literally anything. But then you smiled at him again, and his stupid body remained planted to the seat.
The book club commenced not too long after, and wow, he was not expecting how fast everyone would jump into the book. He had read it (obviously) but decided to sit back and observe how others spoke. Especially you.
He tracked your lips, then your hands as you passionately gestured while talking about why the whole story was an allegory to warn what could happen if citizens stayed compliant amidst government tyranny– holy shit you were hot and smart. He even found himself leaning forward without meaning to, adding some parts to the conversation, strengthening arguments and challenging others. Jason had come here expecting nothing, and somehow–somehow–you convinced him that maybe humanity wasn’t so doomed with literacy comprehension after all. When you finished your spiel, which everyone had been intently listening to, he swore you glanced at him shyly.
An hour and a half flew by, and Jason had somehow survived his first book club meeting without making an ass of himself. Plus, he’d gotten to see you. A win in his book (no pun intended).
Now people were packing up, grabbing their coats, saying their goodbyes, and Jason was trying to figure out his next move when you beat him to it.
“Hey,” you said, stopping beside his chair as you bundled your scarf. “You’re new, right?”
“Yeah. First time.” He stood, grabbing his jacket. “Jason.”
“Nice to meet you, Jason.” You gave him your name with a warm smile. “What made you decide to join?”
Jason, as much as he wanted to, could not say that he saw a very attractive person staring at the flyer, so he settled for a middle ground. “Saw the flyer, figured why not.” He shrugged, aiming for something more casual. “You?”
You smiled. “Same, actually! I’ve been meaning to join something like this for a while. It’s nice right? Getting different perspectives about a book with people who actually care.”
“Yeah,” Jason replied. “You seemed passionate ‘bout it.”
You nodded. “I think books are becoming more important than ever in a time like this.”
You headed toward the door, thanking him quickly when he held it open before following you out into the winter night.
“So,” you said as you walked down the sidewalk together, “be honest– did you actually read the book or were you winging it there?”
He huffed a laugh. “I read it cover to cover. I swear.”
“Good answer.” You grinned at him, and god, that smile was dangerous. “I wasn’t sure if you were the type, y’know? You seem more…”
“Like I’d rather be in a fight than a book club?” he finished.
“I was going to say action-oriented, but yeah, basically,” you mused. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
“Maybe I’m full of surprises.”
“Clearly.” You stopped at a corner, and Jason realized you were probably close to wherever you lived. “Well, Jason, I’m glad you took a chance on the book club.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to look less invested than he felt, glancing around the streetlamp next to you. “Yeah? You gonna be at the next one?”
“Definitely. Already ordered the book. Will I see you there?”
Jason grinned. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”
“Good.” You started to walk away, then glanced back. “See you there, Jason.”
As you disappeared down the street, Jason stood there shaking his head at himself. He’d joined a damn book club because he’d seen someone who he thought was attractive looking at a flyer. He would definitely keep this as his little secret. But if it meant more nights like this, finding out how the gears in your head worked, walking with you, making you smile, and getting to know you a little better each time?
