HE WAS NO STRANGER TO BLOODSHED . throughout his life, he’d spilled more than enough on his own. he had become so familiar with the feeling of his finger pulling the trigger and someone else dying on the other end of the gun that he stopped feeling remorse somewhere along the way. it needed to be done, he told himself. better someone else than him or one of his own. after leaving that life behind, he promised himself there would be no more bloodshed. for his own good, as well as his family’s. that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it again, should a situation demand such a thing from him. he would kill for his family and somewhere along the many nights spent in each other’s arms, marcella was added to that short list of people he wanted to protect. he didn’t even realize it until push came to shove and a mob of masked people barged in with guns in their hands. demanding a girl. if he stopped for a second to process the lengths he would have gone to just to protect marcella, then he would have to face the TRUTH that he’d been avoiding for months on end. that whatever feelings he once had for the young woman were still there. they had not gone anywhere, they had not weakened with distance and time. they remained there all along, buried, just waiting for her return. quite frankly, he felt pathetic about how much this girl had him wrapped around her finger. what happened next, he didn’t expect. she wrapped her arms around him in a hug, head finding shelter on the middle of his chest and out of instinct, an arm slithered around her waist and his opposite hand cradled the back of her head. for the first time since the attack at the party, his breathing grew calmer and he allowed himself a moment to embrace the fact that she was safe and in his arms. even though deep down he knew it was wrong. his head gave a silent nod, a soft hum in response to her question. “ yeah ” the smallest bit of reluctance seeped through his voice in a moment of weakness. he trusted himself enough to spend a night in the same room as her, just not so close. his head kept telling him this was a bad idea because as he moved an inch back to let his fingers cup her face, he wondered if he truly had the strength to refuse her. the answer became obvious as his thumb passed right over the curve of her lip. “ ANYTHING for you ” and in that moment, he leaned forward. his mouth pressed against marcella’s, his lips gliding over the younger girl’s for the simple comfort that kissing her had become to silas. different than the kind of kisses they were used to sharing, this one was much gentle and yet purposeful, as if he was actively trying to anchor himself to this moment as much as he could. the kiss lasted little longer than few seconds before he tore himself away from her lips but his body remained close to her. “ i'm… — i shouldn’t have done that ” and yet he found himself inching closer, silently asking permission for more. “ tell me to stop ”
‘ anything for you.’ the confession hooked her gaze and now she couldn’t bear to look away. she could see it coming, feel it coming before silas even made a move towards her. she had time to pull away. more than enough time to listen to the voice of reason in her head screaming somewhere in the distance that she was about to make yet another mistake. that she was about to go down the same well-trodden path that was already so familiar to her and knew that there was only trouble at the end of it. so why didn’t she dodge his kiss ? why didn’t she even attempt it ? marcella wished she knew. she wished she knew why instead she simply closed her eyes to the disastrous reality of the situation and fitted herself to his body as she yielded to his kiss. she’d look back on that moment and remember it with the accompaniment of a hot flash of guilt because the least she could’ve done was try harder. just try a little harder to not surrender to their selfish desires this easily because if it was that easy then they’d have to confront the fact that some traitorous part of their hearts had always wanted this night to end this way one way or the other. the girl moved her lips sweetly against his, clutching him to her by the lapels of his suit jacket, and her foolish heart was in melting state. a kiss full of sweet longing, slow and gentle and so indefensible. they should both know better than this. for one agonizing moment silas seemed to remember just that as he ripped himself away from her lips and flung her into the present. the scandalous press of his hand upon exposed skin ignited her wherever he touched, just like it always had. marcella’s mind might be conflicted, but her body was never that uncertain. it never second-guessed the hold he possessed over it or the way it seemed to submit to his touch. that, of course, added to the guilt that trailed his comment.
yes, he really shouldn’t have done that. they’d both been doing so well up until now. relatively speaking. it was a unique thing to watch such a tragedy unfold; eight months of progress undone in a matter of moments. they weren’t in control of anything, least of all whatever this was between them. that was proven further when silas didn’t retreat, choosing to turn his back on the promises he’d made to his wife and daughter just to taste that forbidden fruit once more. choice was handed off to her and she could laugh ( or cry ) at how she’d stupidly found herself in this position yet again. in the position of ultimately being the one that decides just how far this goes again. she shouldn’t be given choices; not when it comes to him. she’ll always make the wrong ones. gazing up at him, her fingers tightened their grip on his jacket, breath coming in shaky pulls. she’s responsible for a lot more than she realizes. she held the fate of both of their painfully constructed pretenses in the palm of her hand and whatever happens next she’ll never be able to claim that she didn’t shoulder half of the blame for this. after a few tortuous seconds, her hands glided from his chest to his shoulders, dipping under the fabric of his jacket for a moment before diverting up his neck, along his jaw, over bearded cheeks, and up into his hair. ❝. . . ━ stop. ❞ she wished she could mean it. the word was hushed over his lips just before her own met him halfway for another kiss, this one flooded with all the passion that the previous hadn’t quite been able to illustrate fully. fingers raked into dark locks, nudging his head down and pressing his mouth to hers as she sealed it with a heated kiss. the edge of the countertop continued to press against the small of her back as she shifted the weight of silas’ body towards her and let him crowd her in and make her feel small. a soft hum of approval interrupted the wet sound of their mouths colliding, tongues tangling and she couldn’t pull herself free from him if she tried. what’s more, she wasn’t even trying.
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