i am beautiful @countryqueen4ever - Tumblr Blog

Truth and stay away from the ones that think your hard to please

You get to a point where you have to move on from what is bringing you down.

I am not perfect i know that i am not always right. But when you have been broken down your whole life and every relationship i have been in has cheated on me when i was giving them everything and i never asked for anything in return. I am a very simple woman until you lie cheat disrespect me then i am going to treat you differently.

Truth and i have had all of it done at the same time

In general i feel like I only exist when someone needs something but when i need something i am just alone in it. This is in relationships and friendships. I have helped people and taken care others needs when i was not really in a place i should helped I did anyways. Not for something in return. Its what i always have done. It make me feel good . I guess people are only out for themselves and dont care what people have actually done for them they just see what they are not doing now. I have backed off and here i am sitting alone. Its probably for the best. I always was better when i really didnt have anybody in my life. Just some friends but I didnt lean on getting help for the pains i was going through. I liked helping others because it made me feel better . Now it dont make me happy i just feel used and left behind. In this new season of my life i want different for myself and my daughter. I am going to get physically better, mentally and emotionally better . I have to get healthy for my kids. I have motivation to be able to get where i need to be. Living a single life is going to be better then always feeling alone in a relationship that was never defined. I am not a back up plan if i am not your first choice and you have other women as a back up plan i am not the woman for you. If i have to ask for attention you are not the one i want either. I always was one to give attention to a relationship that was onesided and i keep saying i wont do that anymore Well i think i have proven what i said i was going to hold to. I changed when i got my heart pulled out of my chest and stomped on. I never got bitter but i went back to what i knew but was promised so many things and they were all broken again. That now i make a stand for the things i think are important in any kind of relationship i am just selfish and in that is just onesided again. I will not always be 100% and now that i show that again i am being told i am selfish. Just things in my head

Still so very true

When you learn that all you have is yourself. There is nobody that will be there by your side. Supporting yourself through all the bad thoughts and emotions supporting yourself through every pain . Supporting yourself through being all by yourself . Falling so far that you realize nobody is coming for you to be by your side.

Been struggling with different kinds of emotions and mental thoughts. Its been a real struggle and i dont have it all together. The one constant i have had is my daughter she keeps me grounded for the most part. Its a struggle to get up in the morning and to go to work its a struggle to even love myself .

Even made myself pretty

Being myself to certain people has proven that i am not suppose to be my true self. Only what they want me to be when its for their convince. Even if it is killing me slowly and losing a piece day by day. On top of already not being myself because of being pregnant and being stuck in place i don't like

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i am beautiful