Tales from the Inner Workings of a General Store

Hi! Welcome to the Country Store Chronicles. My name is Jude, and I live in Smalltown, USA. I work in one of the oldest general stores in America. It’s quaint and sweet and the ultimate tourist destination, but it’s not always what it seems behind the scenes.

[countrystorechronicles]

October 26th, 2017

Hello, friends. This rain-soaked day dressed with dark circles under its eyes, after my mid-week “weekend,” was pretty eventful right off the bat.

Not fifteen minutes after arriving, Britney asked me to fetch a few shopping carts upstairs that we’d need for an order coming in today. Seeing as there was already a cart on the elevator full of extra toys waiting to be put away, I figured I’d send that one up first and then get the carts. What I didn’t realize was that whoever had put the cart on the elevator, hadn’t put it on far enough. So, when I started to shoot it up, it was already too late to stop the cart from snagging on the top of the doorway. Thus, the cart flipped backward and sent toys flying out onto the floor, and even a few down the elevator shaft. I thought, shite.

A minute later I was down in the basement, trying to ignore the eyes I felt on me, even though I was alone. I opened the 150-year-old steel fire door with a creak to step into the 150-year-old elevator shaft to grab what toys fell down there. I ended up having to step down underneath the bottom of the shaft, and once again tried to ignore my surroundings, this time full of unidentifiable critters scurrying away from my hands reaching for pairs of glasses made of rubbery plastic straws and cans of pik-a-sticks.

I was glad to be rid of the basement dwellers when I came back upstairs, my face still red from the embarrassment of dropping toys off the elevator to the bottom floor.

Later in the day, I was manning register when a seemingly-familiar face came through the line. I was starting to scan her items when she informed me about her discount, since she was in face Dolly’s sister. Aka, the aunt of Hank and Micah, the store’s co-owners. I quickly introduced myself and greeted her with a handshake – she looked just like Micah, with a sweet smile and a kind voice. From what I’ve heard about her sister, I was more than surprised; I was shocked.

Nothing much else very interesting happened today, it mostly just rained all day which kept the tourists confined to their cars and hotel rooms. Just a few people in today, people I only know well enough to know they’re from around Smalltown. Upstairs, I found hand-written notes dated 1920, 1921, and 1931, which was pretty neat to discover. I left my own note near a drainpipe that instructed readers to listen to the rain falling through it.

Until tomorrow,

Yours,

Jude

[countrystorechronicles]

The Squirrel and the Lindt Balls

About two weeks ago, Britney was walking from the produce room to the back room. To get from the former to the latter, one has to walk through our hardware/Carhartt section, where there is a small alcove (previously full of Muck boots; I moved them three days ago to the opposite shelving). In said alcove, the floor is so old that there is actually a few inches of clearance between it and the wall. This is more than enough room for a squirrel.

After hearing a muffled squeal from Britney, I ran out from the back and she informed me of the critter that ran from the breach in the floor towards the produce room. Neil (the store handyman for the past 40 years) shoved some boards through the gap to hinder more squirrels. But, our little guy was still in the store.

Days later, and we noticed rustling in one of the walls in the back room. Sure enough, there he was, peeking out of the hole he created with insulation in his mouth. Fast forward two weeks, and multiple traps later, and he still hadn’t been caught.

He had, however, fully devastated our supply of Lindt chocolate balls all the way at the front of the store. This squirrel had expressed his love of the salted milk chocolate ones especially, and after Esme had had to pick up over fifty wrappers two days ago, we had had enough.

After this weeks-long debacle, I finally received a snapchat from Hallie of a particular red squirrel in a particular Hav-a-hart trap. When I arrived at the scene, she informed me that Hank had taken it to a local farm to release him. We finally successfully captured our squirrel!!

I have today and tomorrow off as my “weekend,” and then Thursday I’ll be back to hear about what I’ve missed. Until then!

Yours,

Jude

[countrystorechronicles]

October 23rd, 2017

No matter how early in the morning it is, I always have a smile walking from my car to the store. Town is often quiet, even in the busiest autumn months, and one can only see locals roaming the streets. This is still rare, since every other store in Smalltown is starting to open and the town just seems to be yawning and stretching its historic limbs. The tourists are still sleeping then, which is what I like most.

Today started off with more of a whisper than a bang – the air was still fog as I made my way up the steps, and I said, “good morning” to Bonnie at the register before bringing my things to the back room. The store really is huge. Hallie (my childhood friend and hilarious coworker) and I always overhear, and in turn mock, people exclaiming “wow! It just keeps going, doesn’t it?”

Hallie and I did groceries, and she emptied out the employee fridge. Hummus and pickled beets from circa 2016 did a surprisingly good job at making us gag and crack up at the same time.

While on the register at a particularly quiet moment, I happened to look outside at the streets. After noticing that there were more out-of-state license plates than in-state, a car (with an out-of-state plate) rolled slowly up to the storefront, and parked on the crosswalk. I was about to go out and let them know that this was incredibly illegal when I saw the blue flashing lights, and I understood. I snorted to myself – classic tourist things. Something like this wasn’t hard to come by this time of year.

All in all, today was a good day. My boss (and Hallie’s mom) Esme had cut up an entire block of everything bagel cheese, which happens to be my absolute favorite, in the backroom for all of us to share, and the headbands we ordered back in August arrived. One plus of working at this little country store is the samples we get to “test out.” Another is half price (aka paying wholesale) for things we special order along with the order for the store. Yet another perk is getting to give doggy cookies to the good pups that come through the store with their owners. There are lots, and just today I handed out three biscuits!

This seems to just about round up the most memorable parts of my day at work today; I even kept a piece of paper in my back pocket to write things of note down. Something tells me that’ll happen often.

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll tell you the story of the Squirrel and the Lindt Balls.

Yours,

Jude

[countrystorechronicles]

Introduction and some Things of Note

Welcome to my brand new blog! I hope you’re curious, because there’s quite a few quirky things about my job:

1. We have a store cat, which is often the case in country stores. However, ours weighs 16 pounds.

2. The owners’ mother, whose house I have hand-delivered groceries to, has two moods that I’ve heard about: horrible or delightful. I’ve never seen her, nor have I spoken to her. She is a phantom to me.

3. And speaking of ghosts, we have several. The store is haunted (though we don’t let on about that to customers). One of them especially likes me, whispering to me when I’m alone and calling my name.

There will be more Things of Note as we go along, but for now this is all you get. My plan for this blog is to share notable moments at my notable job, and to stay anonymous. I’ve told you my name is Jude - this is false. All names on this page are fake, so as to preserve the identities of myself, coworkers, and the occasional noteworthy customer.

I hope you enjoy your stay here at the Chronicles. Please feel free to send along a message or five if you have a question or an answer.

Yours,

Jude