Birthday Blues
Pairing: Seungcheol x f.reader
Genre: Fluff, angst
Warning: Slight cursing, birthday blue depression
Summary: Seungcheol is always on time to self-congratulate himself on his birthday, you'd imagine he would do the same for others, except his timing wasn't perfect on Carat's birthday or even your birthday. But how can you rely on him to remember your birthday if he doesn't know?
A/N: This is my first ff, so bear with me y’all
The first year dating Seungcheol was a strange yet overwhelming journey, to say the least. As sweet as the first dates, first kisses, first "I love yous," first intimacy, and first everything, together really tested your small inexperienced heart, but as your first boyfriend, Seungcheol did everything in his power to ease the journey. I mean that's what the first year is all about, right? Getting to know each other and building trust on an intimate level. One fact that you learned about Seungcheol throughout your relationship was that Seungcheol always tends to be on standby minutes before his birthday to receive early birthday messages. In fact, the first couple weeks you two started dating, his brothers all warned you if you failed to congratulate him at midnight on the dot, he would become a sulky monster against you until the end of existence. Although they make it sound like an over exaggeration, sulky Seungcheol is truly a force to be reckoned with. It's not every day he gets showered in love and attention, so he always expects special treatment on his special day. You'd imagine he would do the same for others, except his timing wasn't perfect on Carat's birthday or even your birthday. But how can you rely on him to remember your birthday if he doesn't know?
The morning sunshine peeked through the windows, waking you from deep slumber. Tossing and turning in Seungcheol bed, hoping for early snuggles, your eyes opened, and you realized you were all alone in the empty bed. He must've left early for work It's not the best way to start the day, but you weren't going to let this ruin your day. The day immediately started with a phone call, not from Seungcheol but none other than your mother herself.
"Hello-"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!"
"Aw thank you mom-"
Meanwhile, in the distance, Kkuma's ears perk up to the sound of your voice and dashes towards your end of the bed. She interrupts your conversation with sweet (aggressive) kisses; you have to calm her down with gentle pats brushing through her white fur.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Y/N! Happy birthday to you!"
"Wow, again thanks mom. That's all really sweet to say at 7 am."
"Oh please, can't I just celebrate my kid? It feels like just yesterday you were crying and screaming like a baby and now your__ years old. Gosh. Anyways, hopefully my gift arrives safely in the mail today. Any plans today? Maybe with that boyfriend of yours? Hmmm?"
Of course. Ever since you revealed your newfound partner to people, your mom especially, constantly pesters for any details about him or your relationship. However, dating a worldwide idol doesn't make your relationship any easier, so both of you agreed to be careful about what you share while protecting each other.
"His name is Seungcheol, and no, he hasn't mentioned anything to me, so I'll probably go on with my usual day."
"Ehhh? No, I'm sure he has something in mind like a surprise! *Gasp* How romantic would that be!?"
"Yeah sure. Look mom, I should really get going for today. Thanks for the birthday wishes."
"Yes, yes! Go on, come visit soon sweetie!"
"Alright, Love you-"
*Call Ended*
… Wow, for one who loves to yap, she was quick to end the call
You turned your attention back to Kkuma and cupped her fluffy tiny head in your hands.
"Do you think dad knows about today?" You asked.
There was a moment of silence as if she was seriously contemplating the question until she licked your nose as a pity response.
"Yeah, I'm not sure either. I'll try to ignore it, I suppose."
The mixed internal conflict running in your mind was condensed and released in the form of a heavy sign. Indulging in the peaceful hour, your eyes wander around his room, which eventually lands on the clock, reading 7:30 am!!
"Shit! How is it already 7:30? I'm going to be late- oh sorry hun."
The commute from Seungcheol place to your work only takes 15 minutes, but that wasn't even enough time to get ready. Kkuma, who becomes slightly concerned, watches you running left and right across Seungcheol’s place like a crazy maniac. It was a race against the clock, and there was only time for you to wash, dress, and gather your belongings. You miraculously managed to arrive in the nick of time. However, the moment you parked yourself dark storm clouds began to shroud the sky, and all your efforts to look put together were drenched, all in vain, by the cursed rain. To make matters worse, you misplaced your key card, which locked you out of the building.
Darn, I must've forgotten it back at Seungcheol's place. I almost made it too. Now what?
Sulking on your forgetfulness, you slowly approached the front doors, where you had to negotiate access into the building with security. To the security guards, you seem like an insane freak straight out of a horror film. It took several calls to your department to finally convince them. Once inside, you received several puzzled stares passing by as you trudged your way up the office. You finally arrived 30 minutes late to your desk only to soon be summoned by your authorities for a stern lecturing. You sat obediently through a literal bully session for your incompetence, selfishness, and inactive efforts that discourages your teams to meet deadlines. You've clearly seen better days before. Despite the cursed mishaps, you mask your disheartened feelings with a brave face and push forward. You mentally longed for Seungcheol to comfort you through this humiliating moment. Right on cue, when you attempted to contact him, your phone was on the verge of death, and you just so happened to forget your phone charger behind. *PerfecT*.
Meanwhile, in the practice rooms of HYBE INSIGHT, the seventeen members rehearsed their dance routine once more in preparation for their next comeback. After the dance coach instructed a 10-minute break, the members sat huddled together and took a moment to organize a celebratory party (but really an excuse to drink).
"This might be last minute, but why don't we have the party tonight? We could do it after practice at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s place." Hoshi exclaims.
"What dude? Just because I can cook multiple servings doesn't mean I'm gonna serve all your hungry asses," Mingyu argues. "Let's just go out to that new restaurant down the road."
"Oh, that sounds better! What’s the place called again? I'll get reservations ready," Seungcheol says as he searches for his phone.
"But Hyung, I thought you'd be busy tonight?" Seungkwan assumes with a confused face. This news alters all the members' attention towards him. Together their curiosity pierced Seungcheol for answers.
"Uh, nope. Why would you think that?
"Today is (insert bdate) right? I’m pretty sure that’s her birthday, so I figured you guys were going to celebrate."
"Birthday… I had no idea. She never said anything about a birthday." Seungcheol pauses in disbelief.
"What are you serious? You forgot?" Vernon hissed as he knocked him back into reality.
"Wait no, she never told me about her birthday. I need to call her."
His fingers fidgets through his phone to search for your contact. Seconds go by, and the ringtone eventually reaches voicemail. He hits the messages app in panic and spams texts nonstop, but there is still no response.
"Guys I think I really fucked up, she isn't responding back to me," Seungcheol whined while running his head through his hair. "What do I do now?"
"Hey, calm down it's not entirely too late, just-"
" Alright boys, break time is over now. Let's get in position for the last set." Seungcheol eyes widen
"I've got an idea hyung, let's get this over with so we can get out sooner."
After work, you stepped outside the building as the last person to finish. You had to work overtime to compensate for your tardiness this morning. You don't overlook the dark empty scenery before you. You let the cold breeze carry you toward your car and slump into your seat. This rarely isolated atmosphere allowed you to shed a few tears before you started your engine. You were well aware of your chronic case of birthday blues, yet each birthday seems worse than the last. Although you don't mind the attention people typically receive on their birthday, it breaks your heart knowing that most people in your life don't acknowledge you. You obviously can't blame Seungcheol; it was a miscommunication on your part, but you can help to feel unworthy, especially from the heck of a day you had. You just remind yourself that the day is finally over and you can ignore it like a regular old day.
You debated whether you should head straight home or back to Seungcheol place. Every fiber in your body wanted to return home, but you realized you still needed to pick up some essential items you had left behind after learning from your rookie mistakes today. You had no idea of Seungcheol's whereabouts; for all you could tell, he could still be practicing with the boys, asleep, or at home waiting for you. You prayed that wasn't the case because you weren't sure if you were emotionally prepared to confront and mask your weak self.
I'm just going to grab my stuff then leave without him knowing. Yeah… that's the plan
You stand facing Seungcheol's door and take a deep breath before entering. You glance up at the ceiling asking the universe for this impending fate to be in your favor for once. Once you stepped inside, the room was completely dark. There was a faint illumination from another room that piqued your interest. You silently slipped off your shoes and found a trail of rose petals on the floor leading to the light.
" Kkuma, no! Don't eat the roses, those are for Y/Nie. She should be here at any moment…*sigh* I hope she's safe." Seungcheol trembled while making some sort of commotion in the kitchen.
Now that you know Seungcheol is home, you wonder if it's too late to abort the mission, but your conscience reasoned that there is no turning back now. You haven't seen Seungcheol at all today, and he is expecting you. You tread carefully over the roses, following to the end of the trail and witness a sight to behold.
A candle-lit room with a soft romantic tune and the sweet aroma of all your favorite dishes traveled across the kitchen. Despite the pilling dishes in the sink, you realized his place was more polished than you remembered, decorated in fact. The dining table was set almost exactly similar to an elegant restaurant with wine, dinnerware, flowers, and even more candles. Then your attention averts to the man on the ground being all loving and affectionate with his daughter. She barks to alert your presence and struggles to escape her father's embrace.
"Hey…" he said breathlessly. He immediately stands and rushes to your side. You both stare lovingly until his arms engulf you in a warm hug.
"I missed you," he breaks the silence without letting go of you. "You didn't respond to any of my calls… l'm-"
Before he could finish his thought, you knew you had to clear the air.
"Yeah. Sorry, I had a bit of a rough day, and I left my charger here before I left for work," you release the hug to show him your inactive phone when you stare back at his gentle eyes. "So, My phone was basically dead the whole day."
"Oh…" He realizes. He struggles to find the right words to phrase his next thought.
"Look, babe. I'm not gonna pretend with you, especially when I *deep sigh* completely forgot your birthday. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked softly as he spoke the last sentence. He tilts his head up to hide his tears from rolling down his face.
"Oh, how did you uh, find out?" you stuttered.
"You were hiding it from me?"
" No I-"you left a sigh and avoided his eyes. "It's complicated, I didn't purposefully hide it from you… You see I don't exactly have a great relationship with my birthday. I don't know; I just always seem to dread the day because each year, I'm reminded I'm getting older and there’s still so much I haven’t accomplished… It makes me feel like a failure every time. When I was younger, every time I invited people to celebrate my birthday, I always felt guilty for forcing them into a party they would rather not be wasting time at, so I always found myself lonely on my birthday… I guess that's why I rarely tell people about my birthday."
You look back at Seungcheol's bloodshot eyes staring into you whilst he processes your words. His intense stare made you quiver and shrink in size. Before you could look away, Seungcheol slumped his head on your shoulder, and you could feel his hot tears staining your skin.
"You- How dare those shitty people make you hate yourself on YOUR DAY." You laugh in between your tears. Seungcheol takes a deep breath and kisses your tears. "Look I get it growing up sucks, but you can't be so hard on yourself. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, so it breaks my heart that you think that lowly of yourself."
You both probably spent a good minute hugging each other to digest each other's words when a soft beeping alarm from the oven catches both your attention. Seungcheol smiles and runs his hands from your shoulders to your hands, dragging you to the sound.
"I might not be the best first boyfriend, but I couldn't let the day end without celebrating it with my girl, so I, uh, tried to make you a cake and set up this special dinner."
He swears he saw the whole universe in your eyes when your eyes sparkled at his words. Together, you decorated the cake, danced hysterically to the music, sipped on wine, and dined with take-out before feasting dessert. All the early inconveniences that ruined you initially washed away with Seungcheol. Now Seungcheol lights the candles on the cake while singing to you.
" Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Y/N, Happy birthday to you~ Make a wish."
You clasped your hands together while taking a few seconds carefully deciding your precious wish. Once you mentally lock it in, you blow the flames out and watch the smoke dissipate between you and Seungcheol.
" What did you wish for?"
"I can't say if I want it to come true hmm?"