(Above) Producer Erich, Client Karl, Me
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. –Maya Angelou
I recently auditioned for and booked a gig as a Steve Jobs like spokes person for a new and innovative device called BiggiFi.
Before setting out to film this project, I corresponded back and forth with the casting director Maria from Pop Casting, about some specifics of the project. At the end of her e-mail she wrote the words, "have fun".
Those words echoed through my mind all night. I'm a natural self deprecator, I think as a defense mechanism to save myself from feelings of inadequacy and failure. So that night I told my wife, just as she was fading into sleep, "tomorrow text me to have fun".
While I slept I re-lived a moment of my past. A time in Cedar City, UT. at the Neil Simon Festival. I had the great fortune to play the role of Eugene in Biloxi Blues, a part made famous in the cinematic picture by Matthew Broderick. During this show I had to go on stage in my skivvies with a fellow acctress. I was clearly worried about not only the performance but probably my physique as well because my self defense mechanism: deprecation, kicked in.
I wasnt aware of it, but every time the director asked me how I thought the scene went, in front of everyone I would say, "it was ok, i dunno, it could be better i guess, i dunno".
Little did I know, as was revealed to me later by the director himself, that those words meant a whole lot more to my fellow than they meant to me. She took it as me not appreciating her work, and me not valuing her feelings and risks as an actress. She spent many days of rehearsal and the show feeling down about that situation. I let my teammate down, the other half of the scene lived in somewhat fear because they didnt believe that I was there for them.
The director explained to me that though I didn't think it, as an actor on that stage, in that scene, I had the responsibility to be a leader. And that meant not being so selfish that I wasn't thinking about my fellows feelings. I was only worried about my own.
Unfortuanatley it cast a negitive light into the scene. Into her mind. I made her feel other that what she should have, which is as a success. I wasnt allowing myself to accept myself. I was too worried about doing a good job and not looking stupid. I wasnt having fun.
An acting professor of mine said to me once "jake, acting isnt cool, you cant be cool and be an actor".
I think she was right, we have to leave our pre concieved notions that we want to be cool at the door. We have to abandon them and show up ready and willing to fail if we must. Ready to engage in the moment. To enjoy the moment at hand. Realease our fear, that we may look stupid.
Well this was the taste in my mouth when I woke up the morning of the BiggiFi shoot. So when I get to set I rehearsed my lines and prepped my clothes and stretched and nervously chatted up the producer and crew.
When we finally started, I took a deep breath and in that breath my brain reminded me "have fun". A huge grin spread across my face as I spoke into the camera. After that take the producer was very jovial as he said "great energy, keep it up". My hairs raised at the praise.
Throughout the entire shoot, whenever I went up on a line, in stead of feeling that deprecation, letting the fear that I looked like a fool take me. I simply breathed deep and reminded myself that this is what I go to fifty auditions a month for. For this chance to be free and let out my skills and desires. I was having fun.
Truly that day was a joy. Honestly by preventing my doubt to arise and overcoming it with joy everyone in the room was lifted. We were all laughing and smiling. The clients felt comfortable and were very pleased that I was the spokes person for their product.
Remember as an actor, though we work so hard to get even one job, when we are there people look at us as though we do this all the time, so we have to act like it. We cannot let the fear of failure bring doubt into the room. Everyone can smell it. We need to celebrate our failures as pathways to success.
You are what you think about. If you think about fun you will be fun. If you think failure you will fail.
I think Maya Angelu has it right. People do remember how you make them feel. You can do a great job but if you made them feel fear and doubt they will remember that first, and how well you did second.
So be courageous enough to fail,
be courageous enough to have fun.
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
theartofmadeline
