cowboy tumbleweed, picking up trash as I go

selective independent multimuse rp blog penned by riley, he/him, 21+

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Selective independent multimuse rp blog penned by Riley, he/they, 30+

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[charlottexmiller]

there was no pain comparable or imaginable to what charlotte was currently feeling — not even that of when her mother had suddenly passed. this was her child that she harboured, that she cared for, that she grew and was completely attached to. he had a name and he mattered, whether corey felt the same or not. charlotte's body completely collapsed into corey, the tears streamed down her face as the severity of the situation once again overcame her. she'd grown over their time apart, now obvious that she was carrying a child. she'd remained in baggy clothes to avoid any kind of suspicion until they were ready to share with the world. corey's arms were as comforting as they could be for their situation and she buried herself in them as much as she could. all their arguments and fights seemed irrelevant now. "why do i have to lose everyone i love? my mom, you, gray — what did i do wrong?"

charlotte was still struggling to wrap her mind around the reality of what was happening. by the end of the day their son was going to be born and what happened after that was a complete unknown. they weren't prepared for this, to hope that their little boy would be strong enough to fight. it was clear that this was effecting corey, the way their voice broke, their concerned words — something that only added to the pain. charlotte wasn't sure she'd ever come back from this? how did people manage with this kind of pain? "he has to fight, that's the only hope we have. the doctors can only do so much — he doesn't deserve this start to life, fighting to just survive. one slip and he's gone. we can't even help him. i let him down, my body did this to him," she cried into them.

corey was of course going to have questions and charlie didn't feel like she was able to provide them with the answers they needed. the blur of the doctors explaining had blocked out any useful information. "they've been prepping me whilst waiting for you — now that you're here, they want to move as fast as possible. they don't want to risk a complete tear and detachment which is highly likely. they'll be in to take me at any moment. i don't want our baby to die, corey."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Corey shook their head, trying to gently shush Charlotte with their sorry attempts at reassurances as they stroked and kissed her hair. "You haven't lost me, babe, I'm right here." Ignore the fact they hadn't spoken for two weeks because they were taking time apart to assess their relationship, that Corey had been fighting their own misery for weeks, wrestling with their intense desire to not be a parent to the point where they had considered something they had once thought to be unthinkable; walking away and letting Grayson and Charlotte live a happy life without them. It had to be better than them being a shitty dad. They were here now. They wouldn't leave her. Not like this. She needed them.

"You haven't lost Grayson. We can still fight. You did everything right. It's not your fault." Maybe it was theirs. They had been fighting all the time, they had said awful things, drank too much, took too many pills. They had tried so hard to be happy, to want this child so that Charlotte could be happy. They'd practically begged her to not need to have a baby, and now, Grayson was about to be fighting for his life. Maybe their thoughts had done this, that they had somehow infected Charlotte with bad karma.

Corey still didn't understand half of the words Charlotte said, or the reality of them. They just understood she had to be moved quickly. "He'll fight. I know he will. We'll be right here watching over him." Fuck, this was all way too real, way too fast. They were supposed to have months left. "I should tell the doctors I'm here, so they can get you... right? So they can get him out. I, uh, I love you Charlie. Shit, I love you so much."

[charlottexmiller]

things had felt different from the moment charlie had woken up, her body cramping in ways it hadn't before. she had that instinctual feeling that something was wrong. being away from corey was taking enough of a toll on her mentally, unable to work out what she thought was best for them, what she deserved. when pain intensified, she had no choice but to seek medical attention. things with her pregnancy had almost been too good up until her world came to a crashing halt upon hearing that her son's life was at risk, that he could die if her condition became worse. her placenta had partially detached from the uterine wall. everything around her had become such a blur. words didn't matter, not for the first five times of being asked did she understand. juliana had been with her, trying to process what she could for her sister.

charlotte was overtaken by a numbness that she wasn't use to. the life had all but drained out of her. the only option was for their son to be delivered prematurely and the odds were not in his favour of surviving. if he did, he'd be in an incubator, with twenty four seven care. if he wasn't strong enough they'd have to watch him take his final breaths. it was horrible and it was unfair. they had a small amount of time to come up with a plan, to get corey there. 'i can't lose him,' was all she continued to say. the doctors closely monitored her, in hopes that her partner would get there before it got too late.

the tears hadn't stopped streaming down her face, she felt like a failure, that she couldn't protect him. there wasn't one person she could entertain the thought of a conversation with. the doctors had at least given her something to help with the pain but that didn't ease the dread of losing a child. the sound of muffled voices filled the room as a familiar smell engulfed it. charlotte hadn't seen corey in weeks, had been on the verge of ending things but now all she wanted was them. the sound of their voice broke her heart all over again. the moment corey's hand met hers, she broke down again as she tried to find the words. all she felt was pain. "our baby is dying — he's dying." she finally managed. "they have to get him out, corey he's too small to be out. they're saying that it's likely he won't make it, even in the incubator. we can't hold him, we can't see him. i'm scared, i don't want him to die."

her eyes were lost, full of sadness as she tried to regather herself, "my placenta is barely clinging to the uterine wall. gray, he needs it to survive, to grow. if it detaches he loses oxygen and he'll die. i don't want to watch our child die, corey. i can't help him. they want to deliver him as soon as possible to give him the best chance but even then he's still so young. i couldn't even keep him safe within me, what chance do we have? i've done all the right things, everything suggested and this happens? i said i needed you to be here, i can't do this alone and i know you don't want him but please — please. i'm so scared."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Corey stared numbly at Charlotte, trying to digest the words. Baby. Dying. Placenta. Uterine wall. A combination of terrifying and confusing words to someone who did their best never to think about that area of their body and who'd jumped at the opportunity to have it removed. They could tell Charlotte was breaking. They'd never seen her like this before, in so much pain, so much agony. "Wha...what? Shit, baby, c'mere. C'mere. It's not your fault, okay? I'm here, I'm right here. I'm so sorry."

Corey wrapped Charlotte in their arms, squeezing their eyes closed and burying their face in her shoulder, smoothing their fingers through her hair, doing their best to comfort her. But there was no comfort. There was nothing they could do. Doing nothing wasn't an option. Delivering him over three months early... Shit. How would he survive? In a tiny plastic box, hooked to machines to breathe for him and feed him? Their mind flashed back to their mother, taking her dying breaths hooked up to hospital machines, unable to take care of any of her own needs. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't eat. Now they were going to watch their son go through the same thing.

The color drained from Corey's face. Their stomach felt as if someone had ripped it out and made it into a paper airplane. They'd fought with Charlie about ending the pregnancy, about terminating, something they were deeply ashamed of. Juliana's words came back to them. You're getting what you wanted. But Corey hadn't wanted this. Now, they were holding the woman they loved, facing the reality of watching her child die and being utterly helpless to do anything about it.

"How is he going to be okay? He's not big enough. He's grown so much since I last saw you, and he's still not big enough." Corey's voice cracked at the words, their throat dry. "The doctors, they can't do anything? They can't fix it, reattach it?" Shit. No. Of course not. Someone would've said that already if it was possible. "When? When are they... when are you...? When is it happening?"

[dcgtown]

There’s something about Rey saying she was watching too that catches Fin off guard.  It wasn’t that they didn’t believe her. If anything, it’s the opposite. They spent the entire night trying not to make it obvious how often their eyes drifted back to her. Trying not to look like someone completely gone over a person they technically had no claim to.

Apparently Rey had been doing the same thing.

A small smile pulls at their lips when she explains Toby. Not because they needed the reassurance, but because they understood. Toby was the same for them, their closest friend no matter which directions life took them into.  “Yeah,” Fin says softly. “I know.”  Fin’s mind drifts to the person back in Texas who Toby had mentioned time and time again.  

Their eyes flick briefly toward the others across the room before returning to her. They know they’re supposed to keep their distance. They know they’re supposed to make this look friendly.  Platonic.  Finley was wondering if that was even possible at this point.  “Old friends are allowed to dance,” they echo with a lopsided smirk.  “I think I can handle that much.”  Actually they weren’t sure if that at all.  There was no telling where their hands would land once Rey was close enough to touch.  

They glance down to her hands as they flatten their shirt against their chest, “C’mon you know I got better stamina than that,” they tease in a way that is way more than friendly.  

Fin softens as Rey is asking for a little reassurance they she was who they wanted.  As far as Finley concerned she was the only one they wanted.  Except they couldn’t say that.  Not yet anyway.  Not when all the puzzle pieces were still falling into place.  “You’re always what I want.”  Always have been.  They want to add but don’t want to complicate things further.  

With that they slide their hand into her without thinking twice so they could lead the way further into the dance floor.  Selfishly they pick a spot where they couldn’t easily be seen by the rest of the band. 

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Rey was torn between wanting to make Fin jealous and wanting to reassure them that she was theirs and only theirs, label or no label. She had to be smart, to take this slow. It was her first 'relationship' since Mitch, and that had ended brutally and painfully. She almost wished that girl was still around so she could mark her territory, but then she remembered Fin wasn't hers, much as she would have protested if they even tried to be. It was almost an unspoken truth; that she wanted the prospect and rejected it all at once.

She couldn't even begin to fight her grin as Fin said the words she had been so desperate to hear; you're always what I want. Rey sighed delicately, stepping into them and accepting the hand they slipped into hers. "Right answer, handsome," she beamed. "Maybe, if you think about it, I did us a favor. Nobody is going to think twice of me dancing slutty all over you when they've already seen me dancing slutty all over Toby." Because what exactly was the difference? They were both Rey's oldest friends, the people she had grown up with, the people she loved.

Rey glanced around for Toby, Nico and Scout, but couldn't see them through the crowd on the sticky dancefloor. That suited her just fine. "Just don't kiss me," she said, pulling Fin into her and speaking against the shell of their ear. "Hands, hands are good." There wasn't much of a grey area when it came to making out on the dance floor, but dancing together could be seen as two friends who were just really comfortable together. "Is there anyone else on your dick that I should know about before I get protective?" she asked, arms snaking around their shoulders.

[bcdchem]

As soon as Khalil moved down Cameron's body, it was like any and all thoughts in his head (including the conversation they were having) flew out the window. In one ear and out the other. He was completely silent as he kept his eyes trained on his every move, brows raising in curiosity as he watched him plant a kiss to the aforementioned knee of his. Then, when he felt Khalil's hands on his thighs, that's when Cameron knew he had to break the trance he was slowly putting him under. "I know you're trying to have a serious conversation with me right now, but—" He paused, one of his hands reaching down to cup the side of Khalil's jaw before allowing his thumb to gently press against the corner of his mouth. "You look so fuckin' pretty down there like that." Cameron finally finished his train of thought, letting out a soft sigh as that thumb traced the outline of Khalil's lips. "Like, you can't talk to me about stupid heteronormative shit like axe throwing when you're down there looking at me like that, man." Cameron shifted his weight slightly on the bed, his broad chest rising and falling as he looked down at Khalil with a mixture of awe and heavy-lidded desire. The protectiveness he felt for him was fierce, but right now, looking at the way Khalil was willing to drop his walls and meet him halfway, even if he masked it with a tease, made Cameron's heart ache in the best possible way. He knew what he was doing to him, and he couldn't fault him for that at all. "So... Are we still pretending we were having a serious conversation, or are you gonna let me distract you right back?"

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

"Heteronormative, huh?" Khalil laughed, his grin spreading across his features, dimpled cheeks and eyes alive with warmth. "Why can't I be cute and faggy and throw axes like a boss?" he teased. There was no denying that Cameron had great thighs, great legs overall, so was he supposed to just pretend otherwise when he gave his knee little kisses? Now that his face was back next to Cam's, he used a hand to his advantage, lightly stroking it up and down Cam's thigh. The gentle intimacy between them was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. There was a level of comfort with Cam that was entirely new.

"I can have a serious conversation, ask you on a date, and be really distracting. I contain multitudes." He continued to beam with a smile Khalil didn't know he had in him. It amazed him how Cameron managed to ease his fears. Surely they'd come back again when they left this bedroom and were faced with the realities of their world, but Cameron made him feel safe, comfortable, and incredibly turned on. "You can distract me all you want, but you have to say yes to the date first." Khalil had never dared to go on an actual date with someone. Whatever he and former partners had got up to was always kept inside, behind closed doors. He wanted Cam to be the first.

[dcgtown]

Gus nods at the story Rey provides, he wasn't going to push. While he was nosy to a fault, he knew that if something was happening between them he would find out when the time was right. "Right, yeah! How's all coming along?" He asks, not surprised in the slightest that music was the catalyst that brought them back together. It just made sense.

While he didn't know even a fraction of what Rey has gone through, he knew of Mitch's passing. While he always got the vibe that he wasn't the best guy, there was no denying she had been through a lot since the last time they saw each other. "Hey, I'm just happy to see you. Everybody has really missed you." He follows her towards the laundry room, biting his tongue as it seems her and Fin had quickly found themself in some kind of domestic bliss. "Yeah, I was planning on being around for a bit. Do you have work tonight?" He asks, already greedily wondering how much time he could have with her today.

He happily takes one of the breakfast burritos from her with a thankful grin as he starts his laundry. Suddenly he's very glad he was too lazy to head out to the laundry mat today. He puts down Tito so he can start the first load, turning to face Rey with a grin as she returns. "Lets do it," he nods. "I've missed these guys. Fin has been talking themself in and out of getting a dog for a while, so I'm sure they're thrilled to have them around too."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

"It's good! I'm getting to know Scout and Nico, reconnecting with Toby. The whole band is getting their groove together, working on things a little at a time. I've got some songs I've been working on for a bit." They were just so personal that it was hard to share them with the world. Talking about her experiences with Mitch only felt like it would open her up to more attention and scrutiny, even if it was from an artistic perspective, but the band were all being really supportive. At least it was easier to talk about the music side of things than to admit what she'd been doing with Fin the night before, or the fact the sheets were going to need to go in the laundry at some point after Gus was done.

Rey couldn't fight the soft smile that crossed her features as Gus talked about missing her. "I missed everyone too. I really went into my hole for a while. I'm sorry. To be honest I... wasn't so sure that anyone would be really happy to see me back." It had taken her a long time to really digest not only what Mitch had done to her, but what she had done to get out of the relationship. Mitch had spent years convincing her that her friends didn't really care about her. It was rough to re-wire your brain again, to accept love and friendship and understanding after years of being gaslit and mistreated.

The dogs had already pretty much made Fin's place their second home. It should've worried her more than it did, and at times, Rey found herself delving into the negative self-talk about Fin screwing her over somehow, about getting hurt and fucking everything up, about bringing her darkness to Fin's doorstep, back on Toby after all the trouble they'd already experienced with the law. If she just kept her mouth shut, there was no harm, right? They couldn't get in trouble for what they didn't know. She fought the urge to happily answer that 'now Fin had two dogs', in spite of having just called Fin their step-father earlier that morning. "They love Fin. They crawl on top of them and try and make a little nest on Fin's lap. I think they remember Fin from when they were puppies. It's kind of wild how dog's memories work." The tiny dogs let themselves be leashed pretty easily, and Rey handed one to Gus. "I'm going to bug you for so much Fin gossip. You know that, right? I need my inside man," she joked, lightly nudging his arm as they hit the street. "But what about you? Are you still doing comedy? Got any special guys in your life?"

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Starter For: @charlottexmiller

When they'd agreed to give each other space, there'd been an agreement that they'd try to only talk if there was an emergency, so the moment Corey's phone had blown up with Juliana saying Corey had to get to Dallas, that something was wrong with Charlie and the baby, Corey knew they were in deep shit.

The three hour flight to Dallas felt like the longest of Corey's life. They were practically gripping the seat handles the whole way there, projecting all their nervous energy onto the poor bastard who'd been assigned the seat next to them. The first flight out of LAX and down to Dallas Fort Worth had no Wi-Fi, so Corey was left with nothing but their own thoughts, not even able to retrieve any updates about how their wife was doing. Juliana hadn't given them very much information. She'd clearly got an earful about all the shitty behaviors Corey had and the fights they'd had over the last few weeks (months), and was less-than-pleased with her sibling-in-law. Who the fuck could blame her? Corey was an asshole, and the stress of the pregnancy had taken a sledgehammer to their marriage to the point that they'd agreed it was better to spend a few weeks apart while Charlie visited her family. The only thought that was running through their head was that this was their fault. Somehow, it was Corey's fault.

They couldn't stomach Charlie's brother giving them a ride from the airport, couldn't face spending any amount of time in an enclosed space with a member of Charlie's family. The hospital was going to be bad enough, so they'd had a friend give them a ride, rushing to the hospital right from the airport. They followed the instructions the receptionist had given them to get to Charlotte's room, slowing as they approached the hallway to check the door numbers on the rooms. They took a breath as they approached her door, knocking quietly before walking inside. Clayton, Charlie's brother, was sitting by her bed, giving Corey a nod as they entered.

"Hey, Jules said your flight landed." His usual playful, jovial demeanor was gone, just like Corey's seemed like it had been for months, but this was more serious, more severe. Something was really wrong. Charlotte could hardly look at them.

"Yeah, I came right here." They lowered their gaze towards the suitcase they'd hastily stuffed with clothes. "Can we..."

"Yeah, I'll let you guys talk." Clay withdrew from the room, and Corey delicately approached the bed, taking the seat he'd once occupied. They could tell Charlie had been crying. Even under the sheets, it was clear how much her belly had grown in the last few weeks.

"Charlie..." Corey said, voice hollow and cracked, extending a hand to hesitantly over hers, squeezing it. "I'm here, I'm right here, it's okay." Shit, it wasn't okay, though. Corey could tell it wasn't okay. "What... what's happening? Jules just said something was wrong..."

[charlottexmiller]

"you are so full of yourself isaac, i didn't swindle anything out of you. you know full well how much money i brought to that marriage. i'm one of the biggest names on national television for christ's sake and for you to disrespect me like that, is appalling." charlotte had being doing her best to stay as calm as she could throughout the interaction, avoiding putting strain on her body. "it's none of your business what my husband drives around in, so you can tell your people to mind their own business. i've moved on and you need to do the same. i'd be very careful with what you choose to call someone, isaac. you ever heard of the pot calling the kettle black? you're make a damn fool of yourself."

the act was getting old but charlotte couldn't let isaac have the control over her at every event. this wasn't going to be the first time and unfortunately not the last. "you threatening me?" isaac accused and charlotte's head shot up, needing to defuse this situation immediately.

turning in corey's arm, her hand thumb stroked their cheek with her thumb, "hey, hey — look at me. corey. this is what he wants and you can't give him that, okay? we're going to walk away and we're going to enjoy the rest of our night together." slipping her hand into corey's she turned back to isaac, her eyes were serious, "we're done here."

scoffing isaac took another swig of his beer, his eyes sizing corey up. he knew he was untouchable, that he could wind corey up as much as he pleased and with that he leaned in closer for a moment, "be careful with what you eat charlotte, people might mistake that full looking belly for a pregnancy but i know you're too much of a prude for that."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

The two of them arguing about money made Corey want to shrink into the furniture. It was no secret that Corey couldn't bring anything into the marriage that would benefit Charlie financially. They had the small home their mother had left them in Texas, music that almost cost more to produce and tour than it made back in sales and before Charlotte had bought their new car, they'd been driving a 2016 4Runner that had way too many miles on it. Charlie was a multi-millionnaire. Isaac's baseball contract and endorsements had to be worth hundreds of millions. Corey was just some bum musician who until very recently had been using construction and carpentry as their main form of income. Charlie paid for the house, the car, most of their bills... Corey contributed where they could, but their income was a fraction of Charlie's. The only reason Isaac was bringing up the house and car was to make them feel small, and it was working, even with Charlie defending them.

"No threats. Just lettin' you know I'm more than happy to defend myself and my family from you if you give me a reason," they answered curtly. Corey wasn't good at containing their temper. They didn't give a shit if this guy was a two hundred plus pound athlete with a few million folks following him on social media, lawyers and PR people ready to spin a story for him. They would've laid his ass out in a second if Charlotte hadn't tried to calm them down. Corey clenched their jaw, nodding. "You're lucky my wife is smarter'n kinder than I am." Corey said simply, starting to turn away, to vanish into the crowd with Charlotte, love on her, dance with her, try and forget that they'd spent the last few weeks fighting and barely being intimate together.

They froze at the mention of Charlotte's belly, about ready to turn around and fly across the room at him, crowd be damned, witnesses be damned, Charlotte be damned. He knew Charlotte was self-conscious about her body, that it was a sore spot for her. They squeezed Charlotte's hand, looking over at her and then slowly turning back to look at Isaac and his smug, stupid face. "She said we're done here. I think some of those gals from the Dallas Cheerleader show are here. They should be more your type. Have a good night, dickhead," Corey said, slipping their arm around Charlotte's shoulder and walking away. "I got you. He's just an asshole. Trying to upset us, right?" They turned into her, giving her a little squeeze around her waist, kissing her on the temple. "You're gorgeous, and you look incredible. C'mon. Let's get s'more dancing in."

[dcgtown]

Melody lets out a laugh, shaking her head as she settles closer against them. “A baby queer?” she repeats, looking up at them with an amused little smile. “That’s what you’re going with?”  She traces a finger lazily along their arm, taking her time as she studies them. “First of all, yes, I know what a service top is.”  Her smile turns a little more teasing.

“Second of all, I think it’s adorable that you’re trying to act like this is some shocking revelation about yourself.”  She shifts closer, her voice dropping slightly. “You like making people feel good. You like knowing someone’s comfortable with you. That’s not exactly hard to figure out, Corey.” Beneath the self declared dirt bag exterior, Melody knew there was something more there no matter how much they liked to keep it hidden.

A beat passes before her expression softens into something a little more playful.  “But don’t think that means you get to do all the work.”  Her hand slides over them, gentle but intentional.  “I like making people feel good too.”  She tilts her head, a small smirk tugging at her lips.  “And I’m pretty sure I can handle making you feel good.”  She pauses, looking entirely too pleased with herself.  “So maybe don’t underestimate the ‘baby queer,’ yeah?”

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

"Well shit, how do I know?" Corey asked with a sleepy snicker and whatever kind of shrug they could manage while lying on their side, one shoulder buried under their lanky frame. "We haven't exactly spent that much time talking, sweetheart," Corey murmured, eyes following the movement of Melody's finger as she moved it gently over their own skin. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"You don't know me," Corey argued, but there was no true firmness in their voice. Their tone was gentle, teasing, a light protest against Melody's claims that Corey being a 'service top' wasn't a revelation. "I coulda been a selfish dick in bed." Not very convincing. If their partner wasn't having a good time, Corey had no interest in whatever they were doing. Only Corey getting off without any involvement from the other person was simply not their preferred way of doing things. Getting fucked was like an occasional treat after the main meal. Nice to have sometimes, but not something they wanted every single time.

"Princess, if that's what you want, be my guest." Corey allowed their eyes to fall closed for a moment, letting out a gentle sigh as Melody's hand slid lower, down their slender frame. "I have a feeling we're both gonna be feeling real good, baby queer or not."

[dcgtown]

Finley briefly covered their face with their hands with a laugh when Toby says they're no better than a man. "I know," they groan. From the moment they saw Rey behind the bar they were that kid with a crush all over again, they couldn't help it. She was gorgeous, Finley always thought so. Even just thinking about her now, probably behind that same bar making small talk with customers, had Fin grinning like a kid.

"Yeah, that's really putting it lightly too," Fin groans, raking their hand down their jaw. Just the thought of everything Mitch put her through had Finley seeing red all over again. "He was a real piece of shit. I didn't like him either I just thought I was maybe just being a jealous ass," Fin says with a huff of a laugh. "Turns out I shoulda listened to my instincts." Fin knew it was useless to think about since the time had already passed, but they wished they knew better. They wished they could have pulled Rey away from him somehow so she never had to go through any of that.

"I think she's gonna stick around, dude. At least I really hope so," Fin nods, head leaning back against the couch. "She told me she doesn't want me to let her try and run away... and I really don't want to let her go." Fin knew Toby was just as thrilled to see her again and they wanted to make that reunion to happen for them too. "Maybe we can all meet up this weekend just the three of us before we throw her into a band practice."

Finley doesn't want to give away too much, but Toby was the person who had seen their friendship grow and blossom. They knew the flame Fin had been holding for Rey all these years, "When we went back to her place for a beer. She might have kissed me, and I might have been a really fucking good kiss."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

There wasn't a lot Toby could've done to protect Rey from behind bars. They got to talk to their friends and family over screened letters, phone calls and supervised visits, and if Rey decided not to pick up or come visit for a while, to not write back, Toby was just stuck. After their release, the world of social media had been a little overwhelming, but of course, they tried to keep up with her, with only limited success. The prospect of having her back in their lives was almost too good to be true. The last thing they wanted was to mess it up. "I'd love that. The three of us, hanging out like old times. She's okay, though, right? She's healthy and stuff?" Toby could use their imagination and fill in the blanks about what Mitch might have done. They'd been exposed to plenty of shitty people in their years behind bars, mixed in along with the decent ones, the ones in between, and the ones who had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't hard for Toby to conjure up images of whatever Finley might have learned.

Toby's eyes widened, jaw practically hitting their take-out container at Fin's next bomb shell. "Wait, wait, she kissed you? Not the other way around? Damn, Rey! Didn't know she had it in her." She and Fin had been doing this dance since, what, middle school? Back before any of them really knew what 'queer' was. Toby shifted in their seat, tucking their legs under them on the couch, leaning into Fin like schoolgirls about to gossip. "Dude, this is crazy! Not only is she in town, joining the band again, but she's kissing you? You must've felt like you won the god damn lottery. Share some of that luck with the rest of us, would ya?" Their mind drifted to Jamie, still serving time back in Texas. They were glad to be out, obviously, but damn, they missed her. They wished she was out, too. "So, walk me through it exactly. You kissed, or she kissed you, and then... what'd she say after? 'Finley, I've missed you all this time, it's always been you?' Some romantic shit?"

[dcgtown]

It was a delicate balance Fin was trying to strike. They didn’t want to seem like a player, someone who could spend the night entertaining other people without a second thought, but they also didn’t want to make it painfully obvious just how desperate they felt for Rey’s attention.  Because the truth was, ever since that first night together, Fin hadn’t been able to think about much else.  They were writing songs like a madman, songs that felt far too personal, far too intimate to even bring to the band yet.

“Nah,” Fin says, nodding. “I’m right where I wanna be tonight.”  They scratch nervously at the back of their neck, hating the position they’d put themselves in. Hating even more that they’d put Rey in it too. “Maybe it isn’t,” they admit quietly. “But that’s not something I get to decide for her.”  Fin knew it was only a matter of time before Kenny found some new shiny thing to chase after. But they also knew her well enough to know that if she felt slighted, somehow it would end up becoming Fin’s problem.  “But…” They hesitate, their voice softening. “The whole time she was talking, I was waiting to come back to you.”

After Mitch, Fin knew reassurance wasn’t going to be something they could give once and expect it to fix everything. It was going to be a choice they made every day, showing Rey that their intentions were real, even when they were still trying to untangle the mess they’d created.

Fin lets out a slow breath, carefully choosing their next words. The last thing they want is to sound jealous or possessive, even if every second they weren’t touching Rey felt like some kind of punishment.  “Yeah,” they admit with a small shrug. “I was watching.”  They leave out the part where they wanted to make sure nobody got any ideas about putting their hands on her. The part that sounded far too much like a jealous boyfriend, and it was very clear Finley wasn't her boyfriend.

Still, the feeling lingers.

“No.” Fin shakes their head quickly. “Rey, it wasn’t—”  They stop themselves, knowing rushing the words would only make everything come out wrong.

“When I told you that, Kenny was across the country filming, and we’d already stopped doing… whatever we were doing,” They swallow, taking a tentative step closer, fighting the urge to reach for her.  “I know tonight doesn’t exactly make that easy to believe. And I’m not asking you to trust me just because I’m standing here asking you to.”

Their voice drops.

“Just gimme a chance to prove it.”

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Finley said all the right things, constantly charming her, telling her they were right where they wanted to be, that they were waiting to come back to her every moment. Mitch lied to her all the time, said the right things just to get her to do what he wanted, and it had taken her months, years, even, to stop believing him. Every time he said it would get better, that he wouldn't lose his temper again, would go to therapy, stop being an asshole... she had wanted to believe him.

"I was watching too," she said, quiet as she could manage while still being heard over the music and talking. She could tell they were at least a little jealous, the question was just how much. Mitch sometimes brought out the worst in her, and she had to fight the instinct to screw around just to get Fin's attention. "You know Toby and I are just... Toby and I," she explained, trusting Fin to understand the meaning of the words. "We have fun. But it's different to you and I." There was no spark with Toby. They didn't have that kind of relationship. Toby was the kind of person Rey could wrap her arms around and dance on all night and know neither of them expected anything. Even after all their time apart, she still felt the same love and comfort with them she had since they were teenagers.

"Other people are watching, too," Rey pointed out, nodding towards the side of the club where Toby, Scout and Nico were all hanging out. "We said we were going to play it cool around the band." But it was hard not to lean into them, to soften with them, not when they were always so sincere and open with her. Rey furrowed her brow a little, reaching to smooth out the front of Fin's shirt, the top couple of buttons already open and showing a tastefully alluring hint of collarbone. "Old friends are allowed to dance, right?" she said, a small olive branch extended between them. "Unless your feet are tired. I know that girl kept you real busy." She leaned in, stealing a look to make sure the band wasn't watching too closely before giving them a teasing, lingering kiss on the cheek. "You can do whatever you want. I just like when I'm what you want."

[dcgtown]

From the moment they fell into bed together Melody didn’t want the night to end.  It felt like Corey was eager to oblige as they made sure Melody was plenty satisfied.  Truthfully she wasn’t sure she had slept with anybody who had ever taken care of her so completely.  She practically needed to bat Corey’s hands away just needing a moment to breathe as her lips curled into a wide grin.  

“Oh did you miss the sex tape clause in our little arrangement?  Oops, I could have sworn my team highlighted it,” she teases.  No, that certainly wasn’t for the cameras, that was just for them.  Though she wasn’t certain the cameras would catch her in a good mood the following morning.  Her fingertips trace over Corey forearm as a blush coats her cheeks, “Is there anything I can...? I want to make you feel good too," she urges, giving Corey's arm a squeeze.

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

"I'll make a sex tape. I don't give a fuck," Corey chuckled, stretching out their long body like one of the many cats they had back home, letting out a yawn and a low, content groan. "Next time," they joked, pressing lazy kisses to whichever piece of her body was within reach. They drew her into their arms, body hot and sweaty.

"You want to?" Corey asked, tracing their fingers up and down the curve of her back. Holding her close to them, they gave her ass a little squeeze. "I ain't gonna say no, but I don't need to. I'd rather give than receive." Corey was perfectly happy either way. They weren't a total stone, wouldn't be opposed to being touched or fucked, but they were usually on the other end of it. "I like being useful," Corey snickered. Sounded better than 'I like being used'. "Y'know what a service top is? Or are you too much of a baby queer for that?"

[dcgtown]

The second Finley saw Kenny in the bar their breath just about caught in their lungs.  They made a big deal to Rey about not seeing anybody and then the girl they were hooking up with weeks prior comes rolling back into town.  They felt like a jack ass.  In their defense they hardly expected Kenny to want to pick things up where they left off.  Before she left for the shoot it seemed like there was some finality there.  Finley viewed themself as nothing more than a little placeholder in the actresses life before she bounded off to more exciting things, likely finding somebody far more suited for her lifestyle in the process.  Yet here she was with her hands toying with the hem of Fin’s shirt trying to urge them out of the bar.  It was tough to strike a balance between not wanting to completely blow off the woman they were recently hooking up with, and not wanting to be anywhere but right at Rey’s side.  

It’s then they look into the crowd of dancing bodies and Rey and Toby dancing.  Jealousy flared in them like a struck match.  Not because it was Toby, but because they so desperately wanting to be the one with Rey’s hands on them.  

”Come with us to another club this place is dead,” Kenny whines, pushing her fingers through Fin’s hair.  They look around to the lively bar wondering what her definition of dead was.  “Not tonight,” Fin says with a nod.  “I’m here with friends and they’re gonna crash with me tonight.”  While that wasn’t the game plan it wasn’t out of realm of possibility.  “You go.  I’ll call you later, alright?”  Kenny pouts and makes a show of kissing their cheek before leaving with her friends in tow and Fin makes their way back to their table.  They beam the moment they see Rey approach, unable to help themself despite the guilt that coursed through their bloodstream.  “Another club,” they shrug.  “And we’re not… Kenny and I…” their brows furrow as words fail them.  “It was casual for us and in the past.”  The very recent past, but the past just the same.  It doesn’t change how I feel about you.  Is what they desperately wanting to say but they sip from their rum and coke having to remind themself of Rey's words. They weren't her boyfriend.   

“You and Tobes looked real good out there,” they settle on instead with a a lopsided smirk. 

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Rey had been doing her best not to stare at Fin every second, to pay extra close attention to the way this other woman touched them, looked at them, danced on them. She knew she had no right to be jealous, but she couldn't help it. It had been her choice not to commit to a relationship, but that didn't mean she wanted Fin to play in her face like that. "You didn't go with her?" Rey said. She didn't dare assume the reason why, but she knew exactly what she hoped the reason was; that Fin wanted to go home with her instead.

She glanced around for their friends. Toby was talking to Scout now, laughing and having fun, just as they deserved. Rey just wanted to make sure nobody was looking their way for this conversation. "It didn't look very in the past to her," she pointed out, taking a long sip of her drink. Mitch always did this kind of thing. Talked to other girls. Exchanged nudes. Brought them back to his hotel room if he ever went somewhere without Rey. Then he'd act like he'd done nothing wrong, like it was all a big misunderstanding. But Fin wasn't Mitch, she tried to tell herself. Fin hadn't gone to the other club. Fin had come back to her side, even when she gave them plenty of reasons not to by dancing on Toby all night.

She couldn't even attempt to contain the small smirk that appeared on her face at Fin's words; you and Tobes looked real good out there.

"We did, didn't we?" Rey answered coyly, turning into Fin's body. They had been watching her, and selfishly, she hoped it had them real riled up so she could finish them off later. "It's nice to see them have fun. They deserve that." She had missed the last year or two of Toby's life. The way they had reintegrated themself into the world after their release was admirable. It must've been hard. "You were watching, hm?" Rey furrowed her brow at them, keeping her voice low. "You told me you weren't seeing anyone. So was that bullshit?"

[partynthem]

muna live in brooklyn (via altpress)

[fleetwoodworm]

muna for playboy

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Starter For: @dcgtown (Finley)

Rey knew that sliding back into life with Fin and her old friends wouldn't be easy. It had felt so simple to let go of her doubts for a few moments, to kiss Fin and take them to bed. It felt incredible. Then, reality set in. Fear set in. Doubt set in. Life didn't simply cease to exist beyond the four walls of their bedrooms. They had to actually live their lives. They had jobs, they had the rest of the band to think about, the process of actually creating music and being something that resembled successful. Shit, that was the fucking dream, to play to crowds someplace outside of a nearby dive bar with a band she actually felt good with, not like she was simply being dragged along as Mitch's side piece. Even when she was his girlfriend, he somehow managed to make her feel like luggage. It had been months since she'd felt passionate about her art again. She wasn't going to ruin that by being seen as the girl who was fucking the lead singer. In front of everyone else, things stayed professional. The last thing she wanted was Nico and Scout's impressions of her to be of a groupie with a set of drumsticks.

She stood across the bar, trying not to glare daggers into the back of the head of the woman who was engaged in conversation with Fin, and in her opinion, being a little too handsy about it.

"Do you know that girl?" she asked Toby, giving what she hoped was a subtle nod in their direction. Toby turned to look, doing a terrible job at being secretive, before turning back to Rey.

"That's Kenny. Kennedy or something, I think? She and Fin are..." Toby seemed to catch the shift in Rey's expression. Spill to the wrong person in prison, and you'd find yourself on the wrong side of an ass-whooping. You'd think they would've learned. "Were... talking, hanging out, hooking up? I think she was on location or something, shooting an indie film. She must've just got back in town."

"Oh." Rey said, chewing on the straw of her drink, eyebrows knitting together. Of course they were also hooking up with some actress. It was unrealistic to think nobody else would have wanted to snatch them up while Rey was otherwise occupied recovering from hurricane Mitchell. "Cool." She slid her empty glass across the bar, thanking the bartender. Two could play at that game. She reached out to Toby, taking hold of the front of their shirt. "Dance with me."

Toby was, admittedly, probably the worst person in the world to try and make Fin jealous with, but that also meant they were the best person. They'd all known each other long enough that they were practically family. Toby was safe, and Toby knew enough of their history to go along for the ride without taking anything personally. Anything that went down with the two of them was just good old-fashioned fun. Old friends having a good time. Rey had given Toby the biggest hug the first time she had seen them again, held them close, apologized for not being there for them enough after their release, and the last few weeks, she'd finally been able to see Toby without the weight of the world on their shoulders, to see them free, dancing at a club, playing the keyboard, wearing something that wasn't supplied by the local prison. They looked incredible, baggy tank top with a deep rip at the front that showed off a newly flat chest, tattoos decorating their arms. They gave Rey a smile and a nod, taking her hand and leading her to the dancefloor.

Rey danced until the heat of the bar and the close bodies was too much for her, giving Toby a big, affectionate but playful kiss on their cheek before excusing herself to use the restroom and return to the bar. When she turned back to their table, the unmissable sight of a lanky, long-haired lead singer made her stomach flip.

"Where'd your girl go?" she asked, sipping her cocktail through the straw. "Figured she'd drag you back to her lair. She seemed very interested in whatever was going on under your shirt."

[dcgtown]

Finley melts into the pillows that smell exactly like Rey's shampoo as she play with their hair. "What can I say? I'm possible to resist," they tease. In actuality it meant the world to Fin that she wanted to join the band. They were excited before but with Rey involved it felt like everything was falling into place. They were soaking up the way even this part just seemed to feel so natural with Rey. "Maybe we'll have enough time to write a song or two. All that is a whole lot more fun," they tease with a playful wiggle of their brows. As fun as it was they were looking forward to being able to hang out with both Rey and Toby like old times and make some music together. Also to bring Rey into her world of newer friends with Scout and Nico.

Then their features soften as the tone takes a turn for the more serious. It seems like the reality of the situation seems to come crashing down around her all at once and Fin reaches to place a gentle hand on her cheek, "Hey, I'm not going to let you run, okay? I've spent too long missing you to let you get away 'cause you get a little spooked." The way Finley is speaking to her is just proving Rey right at how they're already acting like her boyfriend. They smile into the kiss, "I never claimed to be anything but dumb as hell you know this," they laugh.

"Yeah, you know I'm going to say I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life," they add with a goofy grin, pulling her close. "I won't make you regret this. I think I wanted to be your boyfriend before I never had the words for it," they grin. "--but we don't need to figure everything out right away," Finley assures. "All I know is this feels right enough to keep chasing it."

[cowboy-tumbleweed]

Rey gave a small nod, trying to quiet the heartbeat that was pounding in her ears. Fin was saying all the right things. They were so sincere, so charming, so gentle with her. Their entire being was reassuring. She never would have allowed anyone else to be so close to her so soon, taken them home, cuddled with them, exchanged soft words with them. Years of love and friendship and the manner with which they came back into her life like a refreshing and gentle rainstorm lowered her inhibitions, and they were roaring as they threatened to come back. "We'll make plenty of music," she reassured them, playing with the hair at the nape of their neck.

She'd been the first to say the 'boyfriend' word, and as soon as the word had left her lips, Rey wanted to take it back. It was way too soon for all that. She and Fin had been dancing the line between queerplatonic best friends and lovers for years before Rey had met Mitch and fallen into a whirlwind romance with him, but they'd spent the last couple of years apart. Rey had changed. She had missed them terribly, but she had to be careful not to let her emotions run away with her. "You know neither of us are very smart, but we gotta try and be smart, at least a little," she murmured, pressing a soft, slow kiss to their lips in an attempt to soften the blow.

"Not boyfriend," she asserted. "We should just focus on being friends and band mates." Another kiss, fingers still playing with Fin's hair. "Friends and band mates who fall into bed together and do way more of this, 'kay?" she offered. It was all she had for now. Rey just hoped it was good enough.