maybe I'll get drunk again @cpt-starlord - Tumblr Blog

tw self harm// i need a bigger razor so when i self harm it actually leaves deep cuts i feel like i’m faking it when my cuts only look like scratches

Oh dear LORD what fucking mess have i gotten myself into

#also who the fuck replies to emails in the year 2k18 #WHAT IS GOING ON

flower-swift

guccisssnake-deactivated2021121

I’m choking and laughing omg

artbybansheebender

In the Incredible’s 2 Dash is seen laying on his back and kicking to the air on two separate occasions against an enemy. Given that the movie is set in Chicago, we can assume he sat through a Detective J.J. Bittenbinder “Street Smarts” assembly at school. In this essay, I will…

stellarspacebabe

where’s the rest of the essay op

cutegorl

It’s totally okay to say “you know what, this isn’t making me happy” and to walk away from whatever or whoever is keeping you from the happiness you deserve

I miss my E

im-more-than-just-sad

“People with BPD are like people with 3rd degree burns over 90% of their bodies – lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.”

— Marsha Linehan

rottinghunger

Why can’t i enjoy anything in moderation? its either listen to a band on repeat for 3 days straight or completely ignore them for 4 months. its either binge watch an entire season on netflix in 2 days or forget that the show even exists. Why can’t I enjoy things to a normal degree? why does the thought of slowing down make me feel sick? why am I like this?

thedarkperidot

BPD is an emotional mental illness that isn’t very well known and difficult to diagnose. Because of the lack of awareness, I am here to give you the ugly but honest reality.

Firstly, BPD is knowing damn well you’re being irrational but being unable to stop it regardless. It’s feeling severely guilty for needing someone to take care of you while simultaneously feeling owed love and care because you never recieved enough of it. It’s spending your adult life living in trauma and trying to fix your childhood.

It’s believing that you aren’t important anymore because your friend found someone ‘better’. It’s an almighty despair and desperation to feel wanted and be validated. It’s absolute misery when feeling lonely. It’s emulating the behaviours, voices or style of characters/real life folk because you never developed a personality and therefore had to create one, a little like frankenstein’s monster. But no matter what you do it never feels just right. And it changes every day. You have to create a new personality every day.

It’s wondering whether letting your emotions out is considered selfish or more abusive to hold it in and wait for it to implode later. It’s being in a state of panic when asked to make a choice because being told what to do is so much easier. It’s lying down, looking up at the ceiling, dissociating and not being present in your own mind/body. It’s constant pretence to appear okay in public and breakdown indoors.

It’s needing to be heard but not wanting to make the first move. It’s exhausting, especially on a bad day. It’s not something anyone would want to have. It’s being suicidal but not wanting to hurt anyone. It’s living in this constant fear of abandonment, regular trauma and emotional instability. It’s trying to fill a void that always seems to be empty.