KINDNESS IS COOL 🌼

[cratss]

What came first, the egg or the chicken?

I came first

[cratss]

[cratss]

I lack nothing in your absence except the universe.

[weltenwellen]

Erika L. Sánchez, from “La Cueva”, Lessons on Expulsion

[mysterieuxclairdelune]

{Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction page 24/ Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 6: 1955-1966/ Alice Hoffman, The Red Garden/ Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 5: 1947-1955/ Haruki Murakami: Norwegian Wood, page 276/ Michael Ondaatje/ Catherynne M. Valente, The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden/ D.H. Lawrence, from The Complete Works; The Plumbed Serpent/ Jean-Paul Sartre, from No Exit/ Alice Notley, from In The Pines: Poems; "In The Pines,"}

[mysterieuxclairdelune]

{Alice Oseman, Radio Silence/ Emily Palermo, from Untitled/ Franz Kafka, from Diaries/ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar/ Marya Hornbacher, Waiting/ Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter to Galatea Kazantzaki wr. c. May 1922/ Mahmoud Darwish/ Anna Akhmatova, from The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova; "The Old Portrait"/ Lyric Hunter, from "A Garden," Swallower/ Albert Camus/ Varsha/ Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Meek One}

[maddieisnotreal]

night terrors by hannah green // how to cure a ghost by fariha róisín //writer in the dark - lorde // my mother & i - lucy dacus // take care: mothers, daughters, and inheriting self-hatred by ella wilson // lady bird (2017) // mother wound healing: why it’s crucial for women by bethany webster // unknown // on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong // mother by maia baia

[metamorphesque]

i want to fill my mouth with your name

Pablo Neruda, Katrien De Blauwer, Marina Tsvetaeva, Anne Magill, Nick Lantz, Anne Magill, Nick Lantz, Anne Magill, Nick Lantz, Anne Magill, Nick Lantz, Ashley Walters, Erika Meitner, Katrien De Blauwer, Ocean Vuong, Anne Magill, Nick Lantz

buy me a coffee

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

And how do you run away from what never goes away??

[metamorphesque]

how do you love?

Richard Siken, Peter Wever, Ilya Kaminsky, Margaret Atwood, Ada Limón, Akseli Gallen-Kallela, Richard Siken, @maieste, Madeline Miller, Holly Warburton, Shauna Barbosa, Benjamin Alire Sáenz

buy me a coffee

[sinligh]

In the name of healing I bite chunks of myself daily, spit them out in my hand with the intention to wash it away later

Eventually, i end up over analyzing them, like everything else in my life

grafts of all the causes I’m still here, glued together by my mother’s fears

be the Alpha female, she said. “feed on your most beloved, a cup of the moon’s blood every night before bed for you to run alone forever, run wild, never slip”

I Shower myself with self-loathing, lick my own wounds close Keep me sane, keep me safe

loneliness to me is just another insecurity that is dangling from my prefrontal cortex, dangling right in front of my eyes… for me to see the world through it.

I spend hours looking at the bloody chunks in my hand, thinking where did i go wrong ? how much can I hold on to this heartache ?

I've been running around it all my life, running around red lines, red lines circle me, i run in circles around myself I’m all that I’ve ever knew, yet, I only know myself in fading

A distant memory, a deja vu…

All I really know, is that the only stable in my life is the fact that I exist, and that it’s a temporary state.

jamais vu.

will the lines fade if i eat what i bit off of myself again ? if i chew and chew and chew… If i teach myself to stomach it will i be whole again?

is holding on to those pieces enough to satisfy my desire to be held ?

Or does it make me a feral rogue ?

Schizophrenic delusions ticking in my head…

Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault that I’m this alone…

then again I wasn’t the one feeding myself all the insecurities as a young child.

I wasn’t the one playing pretend.

It was never my fault, my mother thought faking happiness is the way to protect me, it was never my fault father wasn’t interested in the details, as long as I was his perfect girl…

Now, I can’t hold on to anything the way i hold on to the lunatic turmoil that makes me sway and laugh on my own personal misery.

Call it history.

Hide behind defensive humor, get my inner demons drunk on caffeine, mistake that high for happiness cause mama did too…

And wait for caffeine withdrawal to wake us up, both of us…

I’ve never been hangover, but I imagine this is how it’ll feel

The aura ? The migraine?

The urge to throw myself up to be reborn clean.

•••

•Quotes: Olivia Laing/Heather Havrilesky/ Olivia Laing/ Marya Hornbacher/Anaïs Nin/Camille Norton/ Alice Oseman/ eduardo C. Corral/anne carson/ Joanne Harris/ Hannah Green/Hannah Green/Lisel Mueller

•Original context: sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Sasha Hartslief, Late Night Shower, 2021. 2. Getting Up by Vincent Giarrano. 3.illustration by Owen Gent. 4. The Lovers on the Bridge, 1991. 5. "Beverly Edmier 1967' Keith Edmier, 1998

•song recommendation:

P.s: the whole album is a masterpiece ! Give it a try, thank me later.

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Who are we if we forgive our fathers?

[maddieisnotreal]

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers // stone butch blues by leslie feinberg // quote by E.E. scott // dream girl by clementine von radics // my name (2021) // the asylum for wayward victorian girls by emilie autumn // quote by kristin chang // unknown // would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - taylor swift // if there’s a way out i’ll take it by lora mathis

[fuckstoevsky]

Throwaway - S.G. Lewis & Clairo // Alan Stephens Foster - The Fall // Devil Visits - Austin Prince // Clear A Space - Lake Street Dive // Story of a Girl and Crane - Hu Jundi // Hurl - Henrik Aarrestad Uldalen // NFWMB - Hozier // Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish // Me & My Dog - Boygenius // Vertigo - Lynd Ward // The Fall of Icarus - Marc Chagall // Chelsea - Phoebe Bridgers

[llovelymoonn]

on longing

kim addonizio what is this thing called love: poems: “blues for roberto” (via @fawnaura​) \ ernest hemingway the complete works: “the old man and the sea” \ adonis selected poems (tr. khaled mattawa) \ sylvia plath the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, 1950-1962 \ vladimir nabokov in a letter to his wife véra (14 july 1926) \ hillary gravendyk quarrel (via @typewriter-worries​) \ dorothy strachey olivia (1949) \ sappho from anne carson’s if not, winter: fragments of sappho (via @theoptia​) \ kim addonizio lucifer at the starlite (via @typewriter-worries​)

kofi

[maddieisnotreal]

a self-portrait in letter by anne sexton // “fare”, devotions by mary oliver // letters from tove by tove jansson // eightbitstories on twitter //the magical year of thinking by joan didion // wrong side of a fistfight by ashe vernon // on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong // little women (2019) // unknown

[tendermimi]

— Mahmoud Darwish, Another Road in the Road