I’m not gonna magically stop feeling the way I do, I was just trying to take care of myself and do what’s best for myself
If you’re so upset by me stopping all the stuff I used to do for you, if you care this bad, why can’t you reach out?
If you think about me this much why could I never be part of your life? I only tried so hard because I could tell you really care. And I really care a lot and I see someone who’s struggling a lot.
It’s gotten so bad, what I’m letting you do. I just want to try and have some tiny amount of self respect, I want to care about myself enough not to let someone walk on me like this. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt a lot to distance myself, it always did. You can’t say I didn’t give 10000000% of my effort to try and get you to talk to me, and even just my effort to show that I care.
Please just don’t think I’m stupid, I always saw what you were doing. I let it happen.
I don’t need you to be someone you’re not. I just need you to talk to me. I’m not gonna hang on the line, but I know you still have my number.
I know I’m never gonna have anything to regret. I tried as hard as someone could possibly try to break through, and as nasty as you got I didn’t stop caring. I did my part, and I’ll look back knowing that. Why would I ever ever regret trying to love someone?
As much as you like to pretend it’s just a game to you and you don’t care, I know you really really really do. As ever, I’ll be here.
This started out wayyy different than how it is now, I really liked you because of what I could tell we had in common, and about that I was right. I had no problem just always showing you that I liked you. But now, the way I feel about you doesn’t just serve that purpose any more. It’s more like a shared experience, a shared interest, lots of shared time, and getting to see who someone really is. And I really like you.
I don’t like being invaded, I don’t like being emotionally sabotaged, I don’t like that you didn’t earn the amount you know about me now. I don’t like that you seem to have the sole purpose of hurting me, that feels like shit. But I just really like you, the real you.
I know it’s probably really hard for you to deal with all the stuff you’re struggling with mentally but I want you to know you can find help for that, you’re probably in a better financial position for therapy than me rn ngl haha. I genuinely care about you as a human being, I am rooting for you in the most genuine way possible. This should probably go without saying but I do not have any interest in using the information I know about you against you. That’s not something I am remotely interested in. I want you to get better with this stuff.
Not to condone any of the really cruel stuff you’re doing but I really need you to know I care about you, I really really mean that. Idk how but it’s both. And I have noooooo idea what to really do, but that’s how it stands.
I felt like you wanted me to hate you and leave?? But then I started putting some distance between us and now I think you’re mad? You gotta help me out here haha
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