You poor unfortunate souls

I can't afford therapy, don't bill me.

[cretamalta]

”You never made chicken Alfredo with a friend?”-Larry David asking the hard hitting questions

[cretamalta]

I’m pretty sure I got dumped today by someone I wasn’t even dating. Hey Siri, play “Summertime Sadness”

[cretamalta]

Omg whats that video where the girl is yelling about dick and then starts angrily dancing with strobe lights?! HELP

[cretamalta]

Person: That’s some real bipolar behavior

Me, a Bipolar person: Nah

[cretamalta]

Let me block these Euphoria posts until I can work up the strength to watch more episodes

[cretamalta]

I just want to get something really important cleared up

Did Tobey Maguire give us all that quality Spider-Man content only to not be counted as part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe?!

I mean Edward Norton, okay fine, but not Tobey!!!

explain.

[cretamalta]

they won’t admit it but somebody saw this post while filming No Way Home. Tobey deserved all of his flowers. And the other guy too I guess

[cretamalta]

Let’s talk about Rusicals because there are two kinds

the kind where they lip-sync over pre-recorded vocals

or

the kind where they record their own vocals

I think the first is better, here’s why:

Bitch Perfect (S8)-WOW

Kardashian the Rusical (S9)-PERFECTION

Pharmarusical (S10)-Great

vs

Cher (S10)-WTF

Social Media (S13)-WHO WROTE THIS SHIT

Rusicals that disprove this theory:

Trump (S11) - TERRIBLE

Madonna (S12)-AMAZING

what do you all think?

[cretamalta]

tumblr flagged pictures of my baby as adult content. I mean he wasn’t wearing a shirt but geez

[cretamalta]

I just started Euphoria and I don’t know how I feel about it

Like the show is fine, but I don’t know if I can enjoy a show that portrays graphic underage sex. I mean I know the actors are not teenagers but still

[cretamalta]

I am so tired of movies, tv, whatever giving LGBTQIA+ stories R or TV-MA ratings for “sexual content” when there is no sexual content at all. 

[cretamalta]

rewatching s13

remember when they kept telling the Queens to be their own brand and to have a brand blah blah blah then Tina Burner had a clear one and they were like ummm no thank you

[cretamalta]

Antoni: I’m going to teach you how to make a really simple cheese and cracker recipe

Bobby: Motherf-

[cretamalta]

Who asked for Justin Timberlake to?

[cretamalta]

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[snowflakesonchristmas]

161 days until Thanksgiving 🦃🍁🍂🥧🍠🍽️🥂

[cretamalta]

It’s time.

[cretamalta]

In my mind, Bruno Mars smells like Bath & Body works lotion.

[cretamalta]

Is it blasphemy to go from singing a praise and worship song to Big Energy by Latto?

asking for a friend