2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
trying on a metaphor
titsay
Cosmic Funnies
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oozey mess
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
KIROKAZE
@theartofmadeline
wallacepolsom
RMH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
h
JVL
blake kathryn
🪼
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@crookedstarchild
Hardest part of writing is accepting that some people will not fucking get it & you just have to like cope with that because over-explaining it just makes it worse
I will not over-explain my art to the stupidest people on earth. I'm writing for people who know what I'm talking about. Mantra that will save you. David Lynch was right
the natural lifespan of a fandom is unlimited. when well tended a fandom can be functionally immortal. and yet everywhere you look you see newly bred fandoms withering and dying when they’re barely a year old. barely even six months old. fans are looking at their six month old fandoms and saying i think it’s on its last legs, should i euthanise it? when with the proper care that fandom could outlive them for decades. it’s sad. sad state of affairs we’re in.
No, you see, I wish to be an author. Not in marketing. Or an influencer. I wish to tell my stories, be told I did a fantastic job, and then go back to my hovel to scribble some more. I am delicate of constitution and awkward in crowds.
(I got ambushed yesterday at the dog park by a woman who was giving out Christian literature, so I did some art with it. Genuinely that woman could have had no way of knowing what she did for me)
this is how I imagine having a werewolf boyfriend looks like
hey consider watching this!
if you were hoping Dungeon Meshi was going to be a chill found family cooking romp and were disappointed that it wasn't, THIS is the show you were looking for!
it's called Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill (mouthful of a title but that's light novels baby). it's about a man living a quiet life, camping and cooking with his legendary beast husband (pictured here) and their adopted child (a slime).
if you're wondering what the absurd skill is: he has magical access to an online supermarket. that's it.
guards! read me my bedtime yaoi
my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!
any intruders are welcome to join us for story time
my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.
when will it be my turn.
how to grow the fuck up
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn $50-$100 by taking surveys
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
54 ways to save money
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
how to prevent a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
rights when cops pull you over
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
choosing a major
job interview tips
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ultimate packing list
traveling when you have no money
best way to pack a suitcase
how to apply for a passport
how to make a travel budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
ways to get better at asking for help
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
reasons to stay alive
small daily goals
Imma need this eventually cause they don’t teach you jack squat in school
Ima schedule to reblog this when I’m 16.
Ima need this eventually
same fam.
reblogging so i have it for when i leave school in a year yessir
reblogging so i
have it for when i leave school
in a year yessir
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
will need this in future
I might even need some of these now
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
this is emmett and cullen they are best friends
This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
Dogs are truly angels.
so THATS why these cheetah ft dogo pics exist
the anxiety cat
Also! Cheetahs are not in fact classified as big cats, they are simply very large lesser cats, due to the fact that they purr, meow, chirp, and cannot roar. Also many cheetahs have learned to recognize wildlife photographers are friends and not foes, so they will just come up to people and be friendly occasionally as pictured at the top of the chain. Some will even leave their Cubs with photographers to look after while they hunt. So. Yeah. Cheetahs are great
this works because cheetahs are actually fairly social animals, and they look to members of their group for context on how worried they should be about any given Situation. but since cheetahs are also nervous social animals, they can work each other into an anxiety spiral pretty easily over things like “being in an enclosed habitat” and “there’s a guy over there”.
so by introducing a dog as a member of the group, the cheetahs will now look to the dog for context clues on how worried they should be! and the dog Is Not Worried At All, Thanks, so the cheetahs think everything must be chill even if they were personally unsure about it, and they stop being so freaked out about literally everything.
Cheetah: oh god what’s going on how are we feeling weird spotless cheetah
Dog: :) fine, thanks
Cheetah: :) oh, okay
Some other bangers;
"Jack of all trades, master of none" ... "but ofttimes better than a master of one."
"Blood is thicker than water." "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb."
"Money is the root of all evil." "The love of money is the root of all evil."
there's also "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" which conservatives are oh so fond of saying
bootstraps are, well, straps on your boots. you cannot physically pull yourself up by them, and that's what the original phrase meant. "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps" is meant to be an impossible task
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness."
The second part really matters.
Some more:
"Birds of a feather flock together- until the cat comes." - The first part gets quoted a lot in a "find your people" kind of way, but the full quote is a warning about basing relationships on "feathers" (looks, surface details, etc) only.
"Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back." - The first part is often used like a warning against curiosity, but the full quote encourages it.
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." - The first part is often used to get people to do stuff first/fast/early, but the full saying imparts that sometimes, not being the first can work out better.
"Rome wasn't built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour." - The first part is often quoted in a "cool it/relax/stop" type way, but the full quote encourages slow and steady progress.
"Great minds think alike, though fools seldom differ." - Just because it's an idea y'both had, doesn't make it a good one.
I got blood inside my phone charging port and now it only works 50% of the time
get yellow bile in there next to balance the humors of the phone
you. I like the way you think. put on this little outfit I want to make you my royal advisor.
can i tell from the little outfit if I am going to be the royal advisor (jocular) or the royal advisor (sinister)?
it depends on the size of the boob window. we’ll get there when we get there.
Middle-aged magical girl.
She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.
My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.
she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations
Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.
Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.
Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!
Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?
Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p
Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?
Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!
She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.
Assigned magic girl at birth
ok.
does tumblr know about tim misny??? like has the level of tim misny awareness that exists in northeast ohio broken containment and become known online yet???
ok so tim misny is a personal injury lawyer here in ohio.
that’s him. you do not have to remember his face from this image because you’re gonna see it a lot in this post. so mainly i think we all kinda honed in on tim misny because of his slogan
he’s gonna make them pay. he’s gonna get you that money but also it’s a little threatening like he’s gonna fully fuck his legal opponent’s shit up. this sprung tons of local memes. then there were the billboards which were normal at first.
but here’s the thing; we already know what misny does. he makes them pay. so it turns into just saying “you know what i do” which is funny enough if you don’t at all have the context.
but this is not where the absurdity caps out, my friends. no. this is what it has evolved to and they. are. everywhere.
that’s right. no text. just the judging eyes of tim misny, glaring through our skin and into our souls. there is no god. there is no devil. there is just tim misny and he’s gonna make them pay.
I love his vibe, yasss tim
Maids, cleaners, janitors, and sanitation workers are all the most important people of civilization by far. Even 12 hours without them is VERY noticable and they simply need to be highly compensated for it
'Six AM', 1930 - William Wolfson
Hi, I'm a janitor. The facility I work in had its first floor flooded with sewage and while a restoration company came and sucked up all the water and placed fans everywhere to try the place out, I still cleaned the entire floor and threw away all the contaminated furniture. Same thing happened last year, but only a couple of rooms flooded on that floor and it was only water from a sprinkler system. This year was so much worse and I feel like no one in management gives a shit. The entire upstairs was absolutely going to shit because I was focused on the downstairs. Despite the work I do, I have to beg folks to spread around my little bear commission posts every month because I simply can't afford to live on what I'm paid lol
So, truly thanks to everyone who makes and shares posts like these recognizing sanitation workers. It's really a thankless job.
Horror isekai where Perceiving the Weird Eldritch Thing gets you catapulted into a nightmare labyrinth of puzzle-solving.
I.e Those Who Perceive The Hunt of the Goblin King Must Partake In The Labyrinth and Can Only Be Freed If They Complete It In One Day and One Night. By Fae Law. For Reasons.
But the definition of “perception” clearly needs to be updated because some normal guy simply films the Hunt of the Goblin King Behind Arby’s, and puts it on Facebook -
No, not instagram or TikTok, it’s important that it be Facebook -
Because the rules are pretty clear, “the rules are the rules” as is carved ominously in elvish runes above the grim gate, and the Contract is Sealed. and so therefore the guy and 25 of their most random real-life acquaintances must run the gauntlet together. It’s Some Guy, their immediate neighbors, their first partner’s mom, their friends from hobby Facebook groups (oh this poor guy and their hobbies; the elderly birdwatchers from Facebook and the young up-and-coming drag king community), their random teen kid niece, college friends, a dog who also watched the video, a couple consisting of a woman who is the guy’s Facebook friend and showed her husband the video, and the husband doesn’t even know Some Guy, so he’s in the labyrinth and absolutely furious about being forced to be involved, and they proceed to break up over the course of the puzzle.
It’s important that the narrative keeps trying to be a sexy dark horror isekai! but within this the comedic reality of Catherine, 52, the guy’s horse-riding instructor, being passionately involved in escape-room-style puzzle solving and grappling with minor goblins. They are in fact speedrunning the gauntlet.
The Goblin King finally has to say: all right, actually, I only really set all this up to fuck with one (1) guy at a time, thanks for your willingness to participate, but I think all 25 of you can consider the gauntlet fully run.
And the group would be quite hurt by that. The rules are the rules. We have a contract, actually. Let Catherine cook.
Under some fucked up definition of perceiving you could argue that whichever Facebook supercomputer server that handled uploading that video also had to run the gauntlet
Twenty-four people, a dog, and a Facebook server, represented for these purposes as an ensorcelled mirror (the Goblin King had to ask the chat for advice on the precedent and the youngest responded, “a server is a ghost! It has a name! Ghosts run gauntlets all the time. I’d put it in a mirror (classic). You got this bro” and the other fae royals didn’t think that sounded right AT ALL but didn’t want to say.) later we find out the niece was using the mirror to stream the gauntlet
then a week later it goes viral
and the goblin king has to try to deal with two million people the first day.
the peak in that week is 173,246,113 people in one day. by the time the traffic dies down, "the labyrinth" has been flattened and is basically paved.
Disneyland
My friend Dylan is such a profound person, and yet so simple at the same time. Do you know what I mean
Is this the guy you accidentally trained with food?
No. That was Matthew, who is in my frat. Dylan is my ecology major friend who is too wholesome for his own good. He talks to plants reassuringly when he’s moving them. He says stuff like “You’re so strong. You’re going to grow so well. You’re doing so good” while he’s putting them in the ground. He giggles in the shower. He goes birdwatching and will talk about birds for hours if prompted. I’m talking about a 21 year old cishet male by the way.
Other Dylan anecdotes:
One time I (lesbian) pointed out a girl I thought was really hot. Dylan looked at her, smiled, and said “Aww, yeah. She is cute. You just wanna give her a hug!” and that is how he talks about women
He walked into his roommate having gay sex on the floor of their dorm and not only failed to realize they were having sex, he STEPPED OVER THEM TO GRAB HIS LAPTOP BEFORE LEAVING AGAIN!! After this his roommate was like “well I guess you know I’m gay” and Dylan said “YOU ARE?!!” because he did not realize they were having sex and thus did not realize his roommate was gay.
He started feeling really stupid about cussing for some reason and unironically said non swears like “what the cluck!!” for a while
One time we were in the pit of a punk concert and he leaned over to say to me: “heeheeheeh… I love how there’s a milk chocolate AND a chocolate milk!!”
You guys seem to really love him so here’s some more bonus Dylan facts/moments:
I recorded this video of him laughing because his laugh is so giddy that it can literally cure depression
He does the opposite of mansplaining?? Dylan usually assumes that women are smarter than him, and asks them questions as if they’re experts on things, even they’re not???
Lesbians LOVE him. I mean, I’m literally a lesbian myself and Dylan knows more lesbians than me. The vast majority of his friends are queer women.
Men love him too. There’s been several times where Dylan and I went out partying or clubbing, and men hit on Dylan instead of me. There’s been nights where Dylan got hit on by several men and I got hit on by NONE!
He comes with me to do everything, even if the task requires zero Dylans. He walks me to physical therapy even though it’s a completely safe 10 min walk through campus… at 3pm. If I’m going to grab lunch, he’ll come with me even if he already ate. He’s literally a dog in human form
One time I got a haircut and Dylan still came with me even though he wasn’t getting anything done. He just sat in the corner of the salon the whole time!! He came with me because it was raining and I didn’t have an umbrella with me, but he did. He came with me so I didn’t have to walk in the rain.
We went on a roadtrip together and one night I left him in the motel room to take a shower. I could hear him laughing the whole time I was showering. When I walked back out of the bathroom I found him watching Spongebob.
Dylan sounds like a lovely person, I wanna dunk him in my coffee he sounds so sweet 😋
Kitty shredding
(via)
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
I AM DECLARING THIS CANON.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED
@copperbadge
I mean when you think about it, if Bruce Wayne is an Addams, everything he does makes sense. Gotham makes sense. Damian Wayne, trained vegetarian assassin, makes more sense if he’s an Addams.
Now that we have accepted this revelation, I want you all to think about a hypothetical situation in which Bruce brings Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses.
Alternate suggestion: after his parents were gunned down, and before the police arrived, a man on his way to the bathroom for a leak heard the gunshots and the screams, and being the sort of man who holds no fear of death or entertains any sort of disinclination to deliver a nice bit of torture or dismemberment or fisticuffs to someone who deserves it, Gomez Addams burst out the door into the alleyway, too late to do anything but comfort a traumatized boy whose eyes are filled with the sight of his parents’ blood.
His brand of comfort is considered highly unorthodox, but sometimes it’s just the sort of comfort a traumatized child needs, not too warm or too bright to be believed by someone who feels that the world will never be all right again, but the comfort of someone who has learned to walk with death, and even to dance, and by the time the police arrive, and the medics, and the coroners, and Alfred, Bruce Wayne is … not okay, at all, but a little less not-okay than he would be.
And Gomez is a wealthy man, if possessed of a rather eccentric reputation, and there is no doubting his kindness, so when the invitations start arriving for young Bruce to visit, to attend an All Hallows Eve party, to play with young Wednesday and Pugsley, to learn swordfighting or dancing or how to be a good host at a dinner party … Alfred sees no harm in letting his young charge go off to do so. Bruce always comes back a bit more settled, a bit more sure of himself, so they must be a good influence.
And when Bruce gets his idea about vengeance, and protection, and a giant bat suit, well. His mentor Gomez thinks it’s a delightful idea, here, there are live bats in the belfry if Bruce needs some references, and dead ones in taxidermied and articulated skeleton form all through the house if he wants to make anatomically correct wings, and a treasure trove of weaponry and interesting gadgets that Wednesday and Pugsley have been trying to kill each other with for years now, knock yourself out.
And nobody is prouder than Gomez when Batman brings his first sidekick home.
Bruce bringing Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses: sublime, excellent, comedy gold
Bruce bringing Dick, his new murderbaby to meet the Addamses: The Epitome Of Perfection
… The world isn’t ready for an Addams’ Dick Grayson. But I am. FEED ME!
@thebibliosphere I hope you have fun with this one, Joy. :)
Oh no. I have a mighty need.
This must be created in some form or another...TO WATTPAD!!
