— in regards to MERLE DIXON & the affects of his VERBAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
& the important facts that i noticed about daryl dixon in S2E5 that also ft carol peletier.
it is seen often in the earlier seasons that merle dixon had a large impact on his life from a young age, until now. in my opinion, this relationship is easily overlooked & UNEXPLORED by viewers. it took me three or four watches of the episode until i had opened my eyes to this very significant part of daryl dixon & the impact that his brother had on his entire life, a part of him that will most likely never cease in his lifetime. in chupacabra this is pointed out to me the clearest in the hallucinations that daryl has of his brother whom he believes is dead. the way that daryl imagines his brother calling him a ‘girl’ for seeking sophia on his own, getting himself injured on her account, laying in the dirt after being severely injured; the FOCUS on put-downs, where merle repeats that no one will care for him like he does, that no one loves him, that he is not worth it, that he will be dropped on his ass when rick gets everything that he needs from him. though it has most likely been repeated like a mantra throughout daryl’s ENTIRE lifetime; this hallucination was a piece of daryl’s mind, he was fabricating the insults, the thoughts, every word that was coming out of merle’s mouth was also a piece of daryl’s thoughts on HIMSELF. there were several quotes in which were ( not only misogynist ) degrading to daryl in a sense of him clearly coming from a background in which being ‘manly’ was important to your self worth. you couldn’t act prissy, or weak, you had to keep to a certain standard to be called a MAN.
THE FOLLOWING QUOTES BACK THAT: ‘ all those years i spent trying to make a man of you, this is what i get? lying in the dirt like a used rubber,’ ‘ hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours you’d go back & shoot your pal rick in the face for me,’ ‘kick off those damn high heels and climb, son.’
with those quotes damaging his pride as a man, merle also hit at him with emotional abuse, mind manipulation which i believe had lead to deep insecurity & issues with social interaction which we all know that daryl has displayed since the very BEGINNING. merle referred to daryl as worthless, expressed how no one was to care for daryl but himself & that no one ever will, called him a joke, redneck trash & told him that he is a laughing stock to the entire group, that they are ALL laughing behind his back.
this episode also shed light on daryl’s morevulnerable side but it was foreshadowed, hidden almost & to see it you almost have to be looking for it. he risked his life to go & find sophia, came back with a doll & that was ENOUGH to give him hope that she was still alive. no one had asked him to go searching, he did it on his own accord for sophia & for carol who he knew is clearly not taking he disappearance of her daughter well at all. the scene where carol brings daryl something to eat when he is resting in bed is probably one of the mostimportant scenes that we will ever get in regards to what daryl thinks of himself in COMPARISON to the rest of the group. when he notices it is carol who enters the room, he hikes his sheet up as high as it can go, which in my opinion is a reflection of his insecurity; his comment following carol’s inquiry on his well-being, ‘AS GOOD AS I LOOK’ backing that. as carol goes to kiss his head, he flinches almost as though it’s a reflex, almost like a wince. his only response was to be bitter, to push away, ‘WATCH OUT, I GOT STICHES.’ carol then expressed how important what he has done for sophia is, explaining that he has done more for her than sophia’s own father did her entire twelve years of living. daryl is quick to belittle his actions by saying that it was NOTHING that shane or rick would have done; it’s important to me because those words that merle had said, most likely his father & mother, too, have stuck in his brain & have made him feel completely worthless & irrelevant in comparison to those around him.
the turn of events opened my eyes to a side of daryl dixon that is vital to his entire personality, to his entire being. it’s important to me not only as a fan of daryl, but as a WRITER of daryl dixon to understand everything that i possibly can that makes him who he is. in conclusion, what i learned is that daryl does not think highly of himself, his brother had a huge impact on his life in a negative light, as his parents had, he doesn’t believe he is a HERO or as good as the two appointed leaders that are more open about their noble & selfless notions, he easily flinches at close contact most likely due to the long-term affects of being abused by multiple family members, he pushes people away impulsively, social interactions are a struggle due to signs of social ANXIETY, he believes in many things no matter how ridiculous they may be; take the chubacabra for example, he is secretly one of the most selfless people & he is quick to BELITTLE himself.
tangentwithtanner
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theartofmadeline
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