DON'T FEED DUCKS BREAD. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR THEM

Yes? What do you want? a description? alright... Fallen Angel- weell, I didn't really FALL, more, sauntered vaguely downwards. But anyway I created the Andromeda Galaxy and met this angel called Aziraphale and he now owns this bookshop. But... whatever you do... DON'T BUY ANY BOOKS. And he isn't on Earth anymore anyway.... ridiculous Metatron sending him up. Hate that guy

[crowley-offical]

Wha- What? An intro post? I don't need it, surely! Ohhh fine.

I'm Crowley. Fallen Angel- flaw with that one, I never actually fell. just ... sauntered vaguely downwards. I'm NOT friends with an angel known as Aziraphale he is my worst enemy. He was trying to purify the antichrist while I was trying to nurture his evilness. ended up making him an ordinary neutral human with superpowers....

DNI-

Mod is a minor so no NSFW accounts, spam bots etc

I am very sorry for your situation, but I can't give money to people as I am not in a situation to be able to donate, so please don't ask for money

Trump supporters- i know this account is literally a Demon, but even Crowley disapproves of Trump, I guarantee it

Transphobes

Homophobes

I think thats all on the list but ive probably missed something out

other accounts used by this mod-

@timekeeper-offical

@creator-immortalus-offical

@sometimesagenderlessvoid

(back in character now) I believe that new arrivals to the hellsite tag a bunch of officals? let me try!

@backstory-character-offical @supervillain-offical @mind-flayer-official @evilpineapple-offical @superhero-official @jim-hopper-offical @satan-offical @definitely-not-ao3-offical @eredin-offical @seraphim-offical @metatron-offical

[infcdele-a-deactivated20220411]

Hey, Hey, L I S T E N

here, on this blog, you do not need permission to slip into my asks. just do it. even if we haven’t interacted before. even if you’ve sent 10 already. send me more. i love getting asks (in character or out of character) and yeah, i’m slow as fuck, but i promise you i will get to them. have at it, fill my inbox with memes or impromptu starters or just tell me how your day is going. it really doesn’t matter. just go ahead and do it. i promise, i don’t get annoyed seeing the same people in my inbox, actually it makes me happy because yAY MORE INTERACTIONS. so just do it.

[the-remy-offical]

idk if this is what Virgil means but Everyday is featured in Good Omens.

a show Abt a sarcastic demon who never takes off his sunglasses falling in love with the sweetest angel to ever exist.

so probably referencing u in that instance.

awwwwwwww it’s me and Emile <3333

@virgil-sanders-offical why didn’t u js say that

[virgil-sanders-offical]

why did the anon reveal who I was talking abt?

but yes. You are Crowley.

[the-remy-offical]

wait so who r u then

is there a friend of Crowley who like 3rd wheels them

[virgil-sanders-offical]

uhh

The Bentley?

Muriel?

[the-remy-offical]

yea whichever one of those is more u ig

[virgil-sanders-offical]

i guess i'm more like muriel

fucks everything up even when trying to be helpful and yet the fucking up is helpful

[the-remy-offical]

hm. don't love the self depricating but yea u seem like the type to fuck things up in a helpful way idk

[virgil-sanders-offical]

you're asking the guy who tried to duck out to not be self-depricating. are you trying to make a paradox.

besides, if I'm not Muriel i'm the Bentley.

and I know i'm not the ineffable bentley

[the-remy-offical]

girl idc if u tried to duck out in the past u can improve ur mental health like js ask Emile

also yea ur not a car why are u considering a car a character

[virgil-sanders-offical]

The Car Is A Character.

it probably suffered worst in the divorce.

[the-remy-offical]

the fucking what??????

was the car the one getting a divorce or one of the things the divorced ppl were arguing over????

[virgil-sanders-offical]

the car is the child of divorce. it lost one of it's parents.

[the-remy-offical]

yea ofc bc that's obvious and happens to cars on a regular basis

hold tf up is the car sentient????? bc otherwise it's js an asset or whatever it's called

[virgil-sanders-offical]

Yes. Anthony Janthony Crowley's car is sentient.

It turns every CD in it to Best Of Queen after two weeks, refuses to go under the speed limit (Unless it's Aziraphale Driving), refuses to play anything other than rock (Unless it's Aziraphale asking politely), and will not stay parked someplace unless you tell it to.

And yeah, it's a child of divorce. it had two dads then the dads got divorced. ergo, child of divorce

[the-remy-offical]

oh look u even give that Crowley guy the same weird ass names u give me

Jeremiah and Anthony Janthony

tho that car does sound kinda like u tho

[virgil-sanders-offical]

no Anthony Janthony is canon.

The Ineffable Bentley is not me... I'd turn CDs into MCR and Evanesance Greatest Hits

[the-remy-offical]

yea that's the only difference tho

I'm looking up the Anthony Janthony thing no way that's canon

WAIT IT'S NOT UR LYING

[virgil-sanders-offical]

uh huh. maybe the Janthony thing isn't in the show but the Anthony J Part sure is.

but why don't we ask the demon himself?

@crowley-offical what is ur full name?

[crowley-offical]

*Crowley sits in silence, as he ceased to exist. however, Professor Anthony Crowley, author of a book about Astrophysics pipes up*

Anthony Jonathon Crowley

[laciffo-satan]

Hi @obsessivebookwormalert

[crowley-offical]

A shrine to me? why thank you!

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Literally you weren't mentioned once

[crowley-offical]

Right at the bottom.

[definitely-ao3-offical]

How did you spot that? Wtf

[crowley-offical]

genuinely no clue! I was scrolling and then i saw "Crowley" and looked back at it

[laciffo-satan]

Hi @obsessivebookwormalert

[crowley-offical]

A shrine to me? why thank you!

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Literally you weren't mentioned once

[crowley-offical]

Right at the bottom.

[laciffo-satan]

Hi @obsessivebookwormalert

[crowley-offical]

A shrine to me? why thank you!

[crowley-offical]

how’re things going in other heaven?

~ @metatron-offical

Oh, y'know, they're going. Im actually a demon, but an... acquaintance just found out that other you is starting the second coming so I charged up to Heaven to stop it. not sure what could happen now....

[metatron-offical]

damn other me is kinda a bitch… anywho good luck I gotta go stop some twinks from getting back into heaven or reality explodes but that should be easy enough

[crowley-offical]

Damn, thats high stakes!

[crowley-offical]

Doot doot!!

...doot doot?

[crowley-offical]

how’re things going in other heaven?

~ @metatron-offical

Oh, y'know, they're going. Im actually a demon, but an... acquaintance just found out that other you is starting the second coming so I charged up to Heaven to stop it. not sure what could happen now....

[ruinedchildhood]

[duck-offical]

quack quack no more bread for me :(

[definitely-ao3-offical]

@crowley-offical

[crowley-offical]

STOP FEEDING DUCKS BREAD FOR FUCKS SAKE

[satan-offical]

holy quackers! that's a lot of ducks! damn, that pond is full of ducks... huhh.....

...

Do ducks eat trout

[crowley-offical]

.... at least you arent feeding them bread. BECAUSE THEN I'D HAVE PROBLEMS

[ruinedchildhood]

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

Reblog to save a duck

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Quack quack

[ijustgotherebro]

It’s getting to be that time of year where more people are going outside to parks and stuff so i thought it would a good idea to reblog this again

[theofficialvincenzo]

Once I was feeding some ducks from a bag of birdseed I brought with me, and this woman next to me looked so confused and asked what I was feeding them

When I said it was birdseed she just went “oh- can they actually eat that? Is that safe?”

I didnt know how to respond like, at all, so I just pointed at the duck and said “bird”

She then had a look on her face like a new groove was just forcibly carved in her brain and said softly “oh my fucking god”

[tophat-official]

…ducks…

[crowley-offical]

YOU SHOULDNT FEED DUCKS BREAD HAVE I NOT TOLD SO MANY PEOPLE THAT?!

[crowley-offical]

Doot doot

...Why is a detective telling me doot doot?

[mrwilliamsherlockscottholmes]

Doot doot or I will tell them what you did

[crowley-offical]

That’s not very Sherlock Holmes of you

[crowley-offical]

Doot doot

...Why is a detective telling me doot doot?

[crowley-offical]

fuck you also doot doot

/lh

Well how dare you! but thank you for the Doot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

gayass

[crowley-offical]

.....

[definitely-ao3-offical]

im gay i can say it

[crowley-offical]

...

[definitely-ao3-offical]

cat got your gay tungue gay boy?

[crowley-offical]

You spelt tongue wrong you idiot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Tung tung sahoor bastard

[crowley-offical]

wtf does that mean

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Holy fuck I forgot I said that

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father what the dance dance are you doing.

[definitely-ao3-offical]

I don't know anymore, kid

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why is there a dandy's world milking fic-

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Don't question that stuff, just like don't like don't read, *they sound exhausted*

Believe me I can't stop what they write

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father the pez I got last crismas is hurting my throat

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Did you eat a year old pez today??

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

N-no

[definitely-ao3-offical]

sighhhhh spit. it. out.

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*eats another pez*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

SPIT IT OUT- ]*they semi gently grab his snout and force it open* out

do not the year old pez

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he spits it out and pulls out the pez dispenser*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

hey no-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he eats one and his fur hue shifts to purple*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

no dog-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

. ... Why am I purple?

[definitely-ao3-offical]

uhm, this is what you get fotr eating old pez candy

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why

[definitely-ao3-offical]

you did this to yourself, i warned you

[crowley-offical]

Can you take this away from my bookshop please?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

No, no, this is interesting let them continue

[sometimesagenderlessvoid]

What are you doing in my bookshop?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's a shop isn't it? People are allowed in?

[crowley-offical]

It says closed. Clearly.

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's says open??? (Points at the side of the sigh that is facing in)

[crowley-offical]

Go outside and check the sign facing out

[frank-n-furter-offical]

Are you just trying to get me to leave by telling me to "go outside".

How dare you!

[timekeeper-offical]

Leave. Now

[frank-n-furter-offical]

I think I might say for a bit :)

(sits down)

[crowley-offical]

Oh for fucks sake. no. *he snaps his fingers and everyone in the shop is removed from the shop*

[crowley-offical]

fuck you also doot doot

/lh

Well how dare you! but thank you for the Doot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

gayass

[crowley-offical]

.....

[definitely-ao3-offical]

im gay i can say it

[crowley-offical]

...

[definitely-ao3-offical]

cat got your gay tungue gay boy?

[crowley-offical]

You spelt tongue wrong you idiot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Tung tung sahoor bastard

[crowley-offical]

wtf does that mean

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Holy fuck I forgot I said that

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father what the dance dance are you doing.

[definitely-ao3-offical]

I don't know anymore, kid

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why is there a dandy's world milking fic-

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Don't question that stuff, just like don't like don't read, *they sound exhausted*

Believe me I can't stop what they write

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father the pez I got last crismas is hurting my throat

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Did you eat a year old pez today??

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

N-no

[definitely-ao3-offical]

sighhhhh spit. it. out.

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*eats another pez*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

SPIT IT OUT- ]*they semi gently grab his snout and force it open* out

do not the year old pez

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he spits it out and pulls out the pez dispenser*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

hey no-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he eats one and his fur hue shifts to purple*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

no dog-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

. ... Why am I purple?

[definitely-ao3-offical]

uhm, this is what you get fotr eating old pez candy

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why

[definitely-ao3-offical]

you did this to yourself, i warned you

[crowley-offical]

Can you take this away from my bookshop please?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

No, no, this is interesting let them continue

[sometimesagenderlessvoid]

What are you doing in my bookshop?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's a shop isn't it? People are allowed in?

[crowley-offical]

It says closed. Clearly.

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's says open??? (Points at the side of the sigh that is facing in)

[crowley-offical]

Go outside and check the sign facing out

[crowley-offical]

fuck you also doot doot

/lh

Well how dare you! but thank you for the Doot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

gayass

[crowley-offical]

.....

[definitely-ao3-offical]

im gay i can say it

[crowley-offical]

...

[definitely-ao3-offical]

cat got your gay tungue gay boy?

[crowley-offical]

You spelt tongue wrong you idiot

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Tung tung sahoor bastard

[crowley-offical]

wtf does that mean

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Holy fuck I forgot I said that

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father what the dance dance are you doing.

[definitely-ao3-offical]

I don't know anymore, kid

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why is there a dandy's world milking fic-

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Don't question that stuff, just like don't like don't read, *they sound exhausted*

Believe me I can't stop what they write

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father the pez I got last crismas is hurting my throat

[definitely-ao3-offical]

Did you eat a year old pez today??

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

N-no

[definitely-ao3-offical]

sighhhhh spit. it. out.

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*eats another pez*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

SPIT IT OUT- ]*they semi gently grab his snout and force it open* out

do not the year old pez

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he spits it out and pulls out the pez dispenser*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

hey no-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

*he eats one and his fur hue shifts to purple*

[definitely-ao3-offical]

no dog-

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

. ... Why am I purple?

[definitely-ao3-offical]

uhm, this is what you get fotr eating old pez candy

[friendly-dog-unoffical]

Father why

[definitely-ao3-offical]

you did this to yourself, i warned you

[crowley-offical]

Can you take this away from my bookshop please?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

No, no, this is interesting let them continue

[sometimesagenderlessvoid]

What are you doing in my bookshop?

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's a shop isn't it? People are allowed in?

[crowley-offical]

It says closed. Clearly.

[frank-n-furter-offical]

It's says open??? (Points at the side of the sigh that is facing in)

[crowley-offical]

Go outside and check the sign facing out