u/f00tzyb
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Show & Tell
Claire Keane

tannertan36
trying on a metaphor

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
No title available
sheepfilms

PR's Tumblrdome
The Bowery Presents
we're not kids anymore.

bliss lane

blake kathryn
Jules of Nature

pixel skylines
ojovivo
Game of Thrones Daily
Noah Kahan

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from United States
@cryptid-on-a-string
u/f00tzyb
[tape recorder turns on]
JON: Supplemental. I found a beetle in the kitchen today. Tim says I scream like an angry cat, which is unfair because… well, no. Never mind. The point is, I found a beetle and I screamed and… Martin wasn’t there, thankfully, because it wouldn’t do to have Martin thinking I was scared… but I found him in the hallway looking like he’d seen his own ghost or something stupid. I digress. Again. What I’m trying to say is that I think we might have a beetle infestation and they’re probably just regular beetles but I’ve sent an email about it because I want the beetles gone. Martin shouldn’t have his nerves shaken around any longer, goodness knows he’s probably wet himself or something equally disdainful.
JON: end supplemental.
[tape recorder clicks off]
flirting competition
things that I will immediately think less of you if you do them
Eat chick fil a
Use ai in any form
Use "special" or "sped" as an insult
Read/play/watch harry potter in any way
Shop at shein/wish/temu
Listen to taylor swift
Shame people for being fat
Why is my annoying scary boss suddenly nice to me in the same way people are nice to a stray cat. I think he can sense my autism or something idk
what is it about men that makes them want to open up cabinet doors and then never close them
Martin should have been more aware of selkie courting rituals
For a split second of seeing this thumbnail I thought it was gonna be a gory true crime video at first. this fucking evil sick freak loved her bath
might as well put this on my main too
girls love me for the dark circles under my eyes, resting bitch face, and scary eyebrows
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
i may have the world's least impressive body but at least my thigh muscles are pretty cool and my shoulder muscles are kind of cool too
All taken 4 separate days. He loves his 2 by 4 #my2by4 <3
funsies
original pics:
purr
(why are tim and sasha alive? because i want them to be. next quastion)
self diagnosing as inherently and unspokenly inferior to everyone else. The signs have all been there
duet partner: call my dick the house the way it's rising, son
me: shut the fuck up *puts my hands on their shoulders* I love you. shut the fuck up.
Duet partner: awww you do? all I heard was I love you
call my dick the house the way it is larger on the inside than on the outside and inspires fear in those who investigate it
SHUT THE FUCK UP <3
they call my house the dick the way there pee in side it