Eli

5’5 - 20 - ?lbs?kg. vfwsyy

[kissycatemoji]

M3alsp0!! <333

[thisis-your-fault-deactivated20]

trying on clothes is really hard when you hate yourself. liking someone is really hard when you hate yourself. eating is really hard when you hate yourself. life is really hard when you hate yourself

[csinammon]

Me: SEND ME MEANSPO. I NEED TO GET BACK ON TRACK.

Me the moment someone says something mean to me:

[csinammon]

i’m reading you’re post about things you miss from pre recovery and i FEEL YOU. i’m relapsing too. but remember how loved you are and how valid your experience is. you deserve to be happy.

as do you! thank you so much! i wish you all the best <3 dont hesitate to text me if you ever need a friend

[csinammon]

So when does my period disappear again im waiting bitch

[csinammon]

I lost a LOT of followers and to be honest I’m very happy because it probably means y’al are trying to get better 💗💗💗💗

[csinammon]

im so sorry, please look after yourself, talk to someone. you are worth saving. things will get better.

i’m okay

[csinammon]

👍 what is your favorite safe food?

sriracha anything tbf. I used to love these 90kcal wraps aswell :)

[csinammon]

Reply to my message please

on it love

[csinammon]

🔒

not sure if i have one anymore, my gw atm is 115, we’ll see how it goes from there :>

[csinammon]

I miss the growling of my stomach.

I miss the worried stares.

I miss the lightheadedness when I stood up.

I miss the bones sticking out, draped only by a layer of skin.

I don’t miss the controlling voice - I miss the way it all made me feel. It’s an addiction. Too hard to escape.

I miss sick me.

[csinammon]

Good to be back.

[csinammon]

🎶👀 (for the ask thing)

The song is probably skinny little bitch by angelspit(??), and yes some people know. My girlfriend is onw of those people :)

[konoko]

i don't want to see you again in my life

i love you, but you make me feel so sad

[csinammon]

I have gained ~5kg (~10lbs) since I started recovery. I went into hospital weighing around 50-52kg (Yes you can be admitted as an inpatient at a “healthy” weight). And if I’m to be honest, I couldnt be happier. I’ve gotten my period back. I’m no longer tired all the time. My heart is starting to regulate itself. I am building muscle, something that was impossible before as all I was doing was burning muscles. My upper body no longer looks like skin draped over bones. I look healthy. I look happy. I don’t look like I’m about to die. I want to keep going.

[csinammon]

i no longer care about anyone or myself.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Anne Sexton, from The Complete Poems (1999); “Suicide Note,” ed. by Maxine Kumin (x)