M I S E R A B L E

The light of humanity dwindles in the abyss

[darkhelvete-deactivated20180918]

[water-aesthetics]

[cthonicrites]

For the first time, I feel like I genuinely regret my life choices.

[cthonicrites]

I am finding it increasingly difficult to actually find any inspiration to look for work, I have no choice, my contract runs out in just over two months, I am getting daily rejections, no matter what I do, my CV is never right, I have had it checked over by a multitude of ‘professionals’ who all contradict themselves. If it isn’t them, the employer isn’t happy with it. 

The pressure is starting to get too much for me to handle, every rejection is such a massive blow and I have been getting them since February, it is making me doubt my abilities as a designer, I don’t want to enroll on my MA in September, I don’t want to design. I have been trying to push myself as hard as I can and I always just get knocked down.

Whenever I am trying my hardest something comes along and knocks me right back into the ground. There is one particular person in my life, every time they talk to me all they do is belittle me like I haven’t been living independently for the past year. Although technically, I class myself as living independently for the past four years but I guess that doesn’t exactly count as I was getting student loans etc.

I am rapidly hitting the end of my tether and soon it’s going to break.

[l-aciel]

[coral]

[cthonicrites]

I miss the snow.

[cthonicrites]

Defeater - "Contrition" (Full Album Stream)

Listen to the full album: http://bit.ly/1fw5VZa "Contrition" by Defeater from the album 'Abandoned', out now! Order CD and vinyl at http://flyt.it/DefeaterAb...

This fucking album.

[hirujiru]

[sehacelapendeja-deactivated2015]

all i do is listen to music and overthink shit

[cthonicrites]

Ellende - Ellende (Full Album)

I. Wind - 0:00 II. Berge - 7:17 III. Aus der Ferne Teil I (ewige Ruhe) - 14:34 IV. Feuer - 18:58 V. Meer - 27:24 VI. Aus der Ferne Teil II (letzter Ausweg) -...

There are some feelings that can only be helped along with Ellende.

[cthonicrites]

Cannot fucking wait for November. So many gigs this year, it’s unreal;

Sólstafir - 28th July Fall of Troy w/ Rolo Tomassi & CHON - 22nd August The Sword - 14th September Winterfylleth w/ Voices & Back To The Sea  - 17th September Technically not a music gig, but Welcome To Night Vale Live - 22nd September Cradle of Filth - 16th October Everytime I Die /w Superheaven & Muck - 9th November Public Service Broadcasting - 20th November Clutch - 24th November And then Enter Shikari in Feburary.

Fuck, I am certainly making up for the past three years of not going to gigs. 

Anyone going to any of them?

[cthonicrites]

Bliss

[cthonicrites]

Fuck you, you’re meaningless to me.

[mangablug]

[cthonicrites]

Yup.

[cthonicrites]

My Saor tshirt arrived. It's so good D: if you like black metal. You need to check out Saor. saor.bandcamp.com

[cthonicrites]

I am finding Solanin so ridiculously relatable. Fuck, these feels are relentless.

[cthonicrites]

Fucking yes! Enter Shikari, UK tour, Feb 2016, I can’t fucking wait. June 19th needs to hurry the hell up so I can book my ticket. This year has just become pretty much perfect for gigs. Fuck. My first gig at Nottingham’s Capital FM Arena as well..Should be interesting