[neckkiss]

MILK AND HONEY pt.2

[underwelmed]

[neckkiss]

Original Sin (2001)

[runfromnostalgia-deactivated202]

[perrfectly]

[daisiecrown]

[god-exi-ts]

You don’t know how to feel, everything you felt in the past was invalided. You were told it’s wrong to feel that way so you did the right thing and stopped. Stopped feeling stopped and started ignoring your emotions. No, you didn’t let the feelings pass you made sure to bury them 6 feet deep, and crush them under your tar black soul. This is a learnt behavior that you can’t unlearn. Then what happens when it’s 3 am and your eyes tear up. It turns into every emotion you’ve been shoving down for the past few months. You can’t identify what’s pouring out of you, why your body needs to release all this pain you’ve kept in. It’s like a never ending painful waterfall. It ends with tear drops on your pillow and puffy eyes in the morning. Feeling numb is worse than feeling anything, the absence of feeling drives you mad. You want to squeeze something or to grasp onto anything to just, feel something. I just want to feel something sometimes, not everything all at once.

[cestvibe]

[thehornofplenty]

[lilbaddiie]

BADDIE

[1oved]

[desultory-suggestions]

One day you’ll sit in the sun and things won’t feel so bad

[loviely]

“It all started the spring before I turned 22 and I still dyed my hair red because I liked how the water turned to blood when the dye soaked off and it made the urge to rip open my skin a little more bearable And April hit me like a whirlwind; she said I take your pain and I carry it with me. She grabbed a hold of the hurt and walked me down alleyways I would never go through alone. She buys me pepper spray and repeats how mood stabilizers are prescribed for a reason. The reason being so you don’t cry over the soup you spill at lunchtime. And April is in love, so you’re in love, and she talks about futures that feel real and she doesn’t mind that some days you feel so sick you can’t walk. She gives you advil and lets you drink hard seltzer on Tuesdays. Because she understands. She knows that pain starts in your chest but grows out. It kills you from the inside, out. She knows that the hurt doesn’t stop until it consumes you. So she tries to make Thursdays better by you reminding you it’s Friday tomorrow. And she never gives up. She once slammed her hand on her favorite ring and gushed blood for 15 minutes but still drove to the drive-thru because you said you were hungry. She doesn’t mind taking care or fixing what people broke, she loves and loves and loves.”

— September 2020, Soulmates Can Be Friends Too

[theonlymagicleftisart]

[lunebae]

[destroymylife]

[komahm]

[loveserum]

texts