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LiveBearNaked

Recently, I joined an amazing website called Influenster. This is a product testing and review site that offers complimentary VoxBoxes to active members. A few days ago, I received my first VoxBox, the #BlossomVoxBox free for complimentary testing purposes!. One product inside was Bear Naked granola. I love eating granola, as cereal, on my yogurt, and even on its own! When testing Bear Naked, I used it both on its own to experience the fullness of the individual flavor as well as pairing it with my favorite vanilla Greek yogurt. Personally, I was not a fan of the Coconut Almond Curry flavor. This may be because I am not much of a fan of curry anyway, but I gave it a try. I loved the coconut slivers inside, but the overall flavor was not for me. I liked it better with the Greek yogurt, because it masked the flavor a bit. On the other hand, I LOVED the Sea Salt Caramel Apple flavor! It was a great mix of sweet and salty, and it especially paired beautifully with the yogurt. I would eat this for breakfast all the time!

***All products received from Influenster were sent complimentary to test and/or review. All opinions are my own.

#Influenster BlossomVoxBox #contest #LiveBearNaked

Mirrors

Why is it that mirrors control us?

Why is it that sometimes when I stand before it, my tears cut deeper than the shards of broken glass ever could?

You told me I was beautiful. You took the shattered glass, and piece by piece, glued my reflection together, until it finally began to look normal again.

You smoothed every rough edge, sanded each side down until I felt like new. You gave me light.

You looked at me with a fire in your eyes. You made me feel like I was burning, every inch of me was on fire. But I never wanted to step out of the flames.

The mirror didn’t scare me, I dared it not to look. I dared it not to see the blush in my cheeks or the light in my eyes. I dare you to try and shut me down again. I dare you to look at me and tell me I am not beautiful.

He had made me into this new being; light and fresh and strong. He had given me every hope in the world. He had taken my darkness, my shame, my doubt, and turned it into something radiant.

But now I hate mirrors. I hate to see what’s left of me staring back. The beauty you took when you left. When you stopped telling me I was. When I stopped feeling like I was worth it and started feeling worth less.

I hate mirrors. The longer I look at one the worse I feel. Sometimes when I pass by, my eyes try to avoid it but grabs my gaze. And every time I stop and try to change the reflection, to make it normal again. But I can’t keep it from taking every ounce of sadness I have left within my hollowed soul and throwing it in my face, mocking the tears that stream down my cheeks.

I hate mirrors.

I hate them.

I want to hate you for making it this way.

But I can’t hate you. I never can. Because you made me the most beautiful I have ever been. You glued me together. And I am still holding myself together.

Because you showed me how.

And I love you for it.

I hate mirrors.

But I love you.

Dreaming

Many nights, the feeling of falling jolts me awake. I can't explain this phenomenon, and it turns out, neither can science. But it always leaves me wondering just why I have these feelings. Are they triggered by my life outside of my dreams? Will I ever reach the bottom? What is it that wakes me up?

When I have these dreams, I am never actually falling. There is no ground to even fall to. I don't see the trees getting larger and larger, or watch the clouds as they slip away. Honestly, I am just falling. Into darkness, into light, I am not sure. All I know is that my heart always feels like it is trying to push itself out of my chest and my lungs try to use every bit of air I can force down my throat. I don't know whether I am upside down, twisting, flipping, feet-first. All I know is that I am falling, and it never ends until my physical body forces itself out of sleep.

These dreams, sometimes often and sometimes sparse, are the daily struggle of life. We get so wrapped up in our lives. So wrapped up in falling, that it is all we can feel. It takes up every part of our being, our hearts beat and our lungs expand, just to keep ourselves falling, falling, falling. And then something happens in our perfect little lives that throws reality in our faces. Jolts us awake. And we are forced to take a step back and realize that eventually, we will hit the bottom. We can't keep falling forever. Some free falls are longer than others, and some don't get ever get the chance. But embracing the fall, loving it, savoring it, is the only way to truly live.

Falling: I found myself falling So fast and so deep That the sound of my heartbeat Kept me from sleep. It was your eyes, your gaze That ripped me apart, That ignited my soul Like a flame in the dark. You filled all the holes And sealed every gap. There's not a piece of my heart That I ever want back. If I never stop falling, Hold tight to my hand. Pull me into your arms So that I'll never land.

Madison Wagner

A New Take

Late one night, I could not stop the endless flow of thoughts rushing to my head. Instinctively, or because of what I assume to have been my instincts, I grabbed a notebook and a pen and just started writing. Unlike typical journal entries, mine became a poem. And as I have continued to write, the poetry has become my way of organizing my thoughts. In addition to the physical journal I have been keeping, I want to transform this blog into my own personal journal. To release my thoughts, to write stories, poetry, feelings, memories, pretty much anything that I feel I need to say will be expressed in this blog. Readers, please bear with me. My poetry isn't perfect, my writing isn't always interesting. But everything I will write will have my heart and soul stitched into every word.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

We never expect to have our lives cut short. We live every day as if we will have hundreds, thousands, more. But we never really know, do we? We never know when we fall asleep if we will wake up. Or if this car ride will be our last. Or if our hearts will simply stop beating. We think that we deserve life; that everyone should die a very old man or woman. More often than we would hope, some never get to see those days.

There are many things about dying that really bother me. I hate that the world keeps moving as if nothing happened. I hate that the people you touched most will always have an ache in their hearts, no matter how much time can heal. I hate that there are things you will never have the chance to do. I hate that I won't be able to hear you laughing or pick on you like a real little sister. I hate that you will never find your true love or have perfect little babies. But you will always be beautiful. Your heart was never broken. You will always be my perfect little sister. You will never lose your spark, or have anything hold you down.

Life is precious; there is no doubt about it. We have heard it time and time again, but it has never been any more true than right now. Maybe the beauty of life is in not knowing when it will end. It means that we have to live in the moment. We can only live in the moments we have now and tell everyone know how we feel about them. There is nothing that can pull you away from those you love. They will always be yours, and you will always be theirs. Live fully and love with everything you have. And never, ever say goodbye.

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow / That I shall say good night till it be morrow." - William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

What I've Learned From Finals Week

Ah, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us. Christmas, right? No. I mean finals week. What a sentimental time of the year: revisiting all of those class notes we forgot about months ago, spending time cramming with friends, and being so caught up in the excitement you forget to not only eat, but also sleep. There are so many stressful things about finals week, but here is what I'e learned so far:

It is never too early to start reviewing for the final. Don't wait until a week, or worse, a few days, before the big test. The earlier you start, the better off you'll be.

Sleep is very important. Pulling a week's worth of all nighters will not do you any good if you are falling asleep during the exam. So put down the books, grab your pillow, and get some rest. You'll need the energy.

A little music goes a long way. If you don't get easily distracted by background noise, studying with some headphones on can ease the pain of chemistry problems. Music can lighten the mood and even inspire you to keep going.

Take breaks. Twelve hour study binges are not beneficial to anyone. The only thing it does is wear you out. So take a walk, grab a bite to eat, or watch an episode of your favorite series on Netflix.

Finals week may be crazy and overwhelming, but in the end, everyone gets through it. All of the work will be worthwhile, but sometimes it just takes a little motivation to get going. Just think of all of those Christmas cookie waiting for you at the end of the week, and it will all be over soon.

Music As Relief

As a musical theatre fanatic, going off to college was very difficult. It meant that I would have much less time for theatre because of studying and classwork. Because theatre season is upon us, my heartstrings are being pulled every time I turn around. Knowing that so many of my friends are putting on their stage makeup and testing their mics as we speak hurts even more. Throughout my life, I have always been involved in musical theatre. I have been in so many productions that I can't count nor remember half of them.

Music has always been a source of relief for me. I have turned to it through the worst and the best, knowing that it can always help me ease some of the tension of life. Being able to belt out a song whenever I needed to is something I crave. Now that I live in a dorm, where my life is barely private, that ability has been stripped from me. I live for the days I get to drive home in my car, because that means I have and hour and a half to sing. As loud as I can, with no one stopping me. It means complete freedom, if only for a little while.

I crave everything about theatre: the atmosphere backstage, the anticipation of the curtains being drawn, the constant costume changes, and so much more. Most of all, I miss the lights. I miss the butterflies I get in my stomach when I step onto the stage. It feels almost like I have lost my home. My security.

In order to cope with the loss of theatre, I recently began to teach myself to play the piano. I know, I know, as a theatre and choir lover, I should be able to play piano already. Reading sheet music is not an issue for me, but rather memorizing chords on the piano an practicing often. Regardless, I need music in my life. Without it, I feel like I lose my self expression. One day, and hopefully one day soon, I will be on that stage again.

Cut, Copy, Paste

Personal body image is very contradicting from the eyes of different people. Some are strong advocates of natural beauty, while others lean more toward creating perfection. Plastic surgery and other body altering procedures have been popular for decades. More recently, however, more uncommon procedures are coming into the spotlight.

Tameka 'Tiny' Harris, wife of rapper T.I., has recently undergone a surgical procedure to permanently change the color of her eyes. She traveled to Africa for the Brightocular procedure, because it is illegal in the United States. The procedure is done by creating an incision in the cornea where the folded artificial iris is inserted, and then unfolded over the patient's iris. The procedure takes a total of about 30 minutes. In an article covered by ABC News, Harris told interviewers, "I just wanted to do something different, and I have the right to do that. It's my body." She has received many different responses from the public about her surgery. Some people have been very negative, saying, "Is this self hate or what?" Another viewer commented, "You want to be white so bad, it's sad." Changing your look does not necessarily mean that you are self-hating or wanting to be a completely different person. Harris is definitely right: she can do whatever she wants to her own body.

Individuals choose to undergo cosmetic surgery for many different reasons. Some require surgery to correct a medical condition, and some do it to solve any issues they have with their self-image. Having control over personal image is something that many people crave, and the only way to alter certain body parts is through plastic surgery.

Whether or not an individual chooses to undergo plastic surgery or not, maintaining a positive self-esteem is very important. And as long as someone feels comfortable in their own skin, the choice is theirs.

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.

Marcus Aurelius

Slept Like a Baby

SIDS, formally known as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, is still a prevalent issue in society today. Many people are unaware of the things that can put infants at risk. According to an article by the American Academy of Pediatrics, half of infants in the United States are sleeping with bedding that puts them at risk for SIDS. Soft bedding such as pillows, blankets, quilts, toys, and crib bumpers can lead to suffocation during sleep. From a study conducted, it was found "that from 1993 to 2010, bedding use declined, but remained a common practice. The rate of bedding use averaged nearly 86 percent in 1993-1995, and declined to 55 percent in 2008-2010." A staggering statistic from this study is that the use of dangerous bedding was mostly used by teenage mothers at 83.5 percent. Other hazardous ways for infants to sleep is in adult beds, on their sides, and sleeping on shared surfaces with parents or siblings. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that infants sleep in their own beds, lined with only a fitted sheet.

As a teenager myself, it is sad to see the link between a higher rate of infant deaths with bedding from teenage mothers. The problem is likely not with the mothers themselves, but instead with their education of SIDS and infant suffocation. As young mothers, they may not be aware of all of the risks involved with soft bedding and are thinking they are making their baby comfortable. With more education and awareness, mothers will be able to safely put their children to sleep.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

Lewis B. Smedes

Why Dogs are Better than Cats (From a Very Biased Dog Lover)

Who doesn't love cuddling up with their favorite little creature? They shed, they puke, and they aren't always potty trained, but there is something about them that we all love. But what is it about our furry friends that makes us want to keep them around? Many would say they love man's best friend, and others would say they are crazy cat ladies. But here is why dogs are for me.

Dogs want your love. As one of my friends would say, "cats only want your attention when they want it, and dogs want it all the time." When you open your front door, dogs are always there to greet you. When is the last time a cat ran up to you after a long day at work and tried to lick your face? Dogs are always happy to see you; it never fails!

Cats only want you for your food. Sure, dogs are in it for the free food too, but at least they return some of the love. They have the ability to love your cuddles and hugs, and won't claw your face off in the midst of them.

Dogs don't always get in your way. Cats are needy little fellas, and are always lurking about. When on your computer, they will sit on it right in front of you. They rub themselves on your legs, smack your face as you sleep, and claw up your furniture.

Cats are STARERS. They sit across the room and stare you down as if they are plotting your ultimate demise. They peer from behind doors, atop staircases, and from the opposite side of the couch. Dogs may be yippy or loud, but at least they don't stare into your soul.

Whether you are a cat-lover or a dog-lover, pets are amazing. They pick you up when your down, keep you company, and love you when no one else will. Though we wish they will live forever, they never do. But maybe knowing they only have a short time makes their time here even more special.

Okay, so here is where it always gets awkward. Whenever religion is brought up, it always stimulates some sort of dispute or disapproval. I am not looking for any of that. However, I do want to talk about a few things about this video that I absolutely love.

Spoken word is an amazing form of poetry that often pulls together thoughts and ideas and incorporated them into a performance that heavily relies on tone, emphasis, and gestures. I think spoken word is a new and modern way to share your feelings about a certain subject There is spoken word about everything, but one thing that is always similar is the performer's passion for the subject. Seeing them sharing and feeling what they are saying is a beautiful way to hear their story.

I love Jefferson Bethke, the man in the video, and his ministry. He uses spoken word to share the gospel, and uses biblical passages and their context to back it up. He approaches many controversial topics in the church and in society that heavily affect the youth of today. I love that what he says is real. he doesn't try to sugarcoat anything, and says exactly what everyone else avoids. He often talks of the traditional ways of the church and discusses ways it can be modernized and altered to become better as a whole. His YouTube channel is filled with other spoken word videos like Death of YOLO, Sex, Marriage, and Fairytales, and Counterfeit Gods. Along with spoken word, he has videos of teachings by himself and with help from his wife and book launches.

Jeff Bethke is not the only one using spoken word. One of my favorite videos is The Gospel in Four Minutes. Fresh and innovative ways to share the word of God is always captivating to me. Because poetry is so versatile, it is a wonderful way to spread a message while using artistry to make it completely unique.

The greatest difference between voyages rests not with the ships, but with the people you meet on them.

Amelia Barr

All I Want for Christmas is Thanksgiving

With Halloween behind us, Christmas is right around the corner. Already, in early November, it is easy to spot the sights, smells, and hints that it is nearly Christmas time. Malls are turning red and green, Christmas music is being added to personal playlists, and significant others are frantic for gift ideas. But how soon is too soon when it comes to Christmas celebration?

Michelle Regina of Buzzfeed seems to think Christmas can't come early enough, when she provided 25 reasons why the holiday season should begin now in an article posted on November 3rd. But it seems pretty early, right? Not to Regina. Her first reason is "because everyone knows the anticipation of Christmas is better than the day itself." And in reality, she may just be right. Breaking out A Christmas Carol and baking the holiday sweets are much more enticing than being woken up at the crack of dawn by your insistent younger sibling. Anticipation and celebration seem to go hand in hand, and what better holiday to anticipate than Christmas?

Other people seem to think that celebrating Christmas too early needs to stop. The complaints seem to revolve mostly around stores decorating for the holiday season way before its time is due. In an article from CBS Connecticut, Dr. Ron Hill from Villanova School of Business said, "Holidays in and of themselves are often separated by some demarcation...in time. The end of Thanksgiving is the proverbial start of the Christmas season. So people see this demarcation as being important in part because when they overlap...it disallows people to fully engage in a holiday and enjoy themselves." By overlapping holidays such as Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, the stimulation can be quite overwhelming. It seems to make each holiday less special if they are all thrown together into one.

So how do we decide when to celebrate? Ultimately, it is a personal decision. Traditionally Christmas celebrations are acceptable the day after Thanksgiving, called Black Friday. But if the holiday frenzy is too exciting to pass up before then, bring on Jingle Bells and peppermint mochas.

For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.

Leonardo da Vinci

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