diary of a boy, interrupted

basil ⋆ '08, he/they⋆ the world (internet) is my oyster ⋆ just a transmasc loser blogging, interact at your own risk ⋆ i only sound like a bitch online im actually chill irl I promise im not that evil

[cursedndolly]

INTRO...

hi I'm basil, the prettiest and most unfortunate boy on the internet! I think I'm an odd person so if im not your cup of tea just leave me alone. dead dove, do not eat.

This blog is preferably +16.

Cw: mentions of disordered eating, mental health (mostly lack of it), suicide ideation, self harm, mention of abuse, vulgar language, (possible) slight nsfw, me glazing and hating myself at the same time

here are some things I like:

˙⋆✮reading, writing, journaling

˙⋆✮drawing, art

˙⋆✮crocheting

˙⋆✮coding, computers

˙⋆✮music (I play the piano and im learning how to play the guitar)

˙⋆✮spirituality/witchcraft

other stuff about me:

˙⋆✮I'm black. I might use the n word (im lowk terrified people might think im some random racist)

˙⋆✮boykisser

˙⋆✮INTJ

˙⋆✮age regressor (ddlg/age play variants are disgusting and NOT the same)

˙⋆✮ shifter (god what a loser)

˙⋆✮yumeshipper (non sharing): tyler galpin (wednesday), hobie brown (atsv)

˙⋆✮kins: ghost (call of duty) wednesday (wednesday), jinx (arcane)

˙⋆✮probably neurodivergent (suspecting autism + npd along with some other stuff)

music:

˙⋆✮sub urban, k-pop (skz, aespa, xdinary heroes, nmixx, ive and more), phantom siita, idkhow, anarbor, waterparks, friday pilots club, ashnikko, rei ami..

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹

I don't have a dni list, I block freely so just use your head. I probably won't follow/interact if you're way younger than me.

Yes im looking for moots/friends please and thank you :p

[cursedndolly]

sometimes I just want to pack my bags and run away

[cursedndolly]

Saw this on my fyp and I just have to say something

This is disgusting. All the comments are agreeing with them too im so fucking tired of this bullshit. "Im trans and I agree" you guys are all fucking weird i have nothing else to say

[cursedndolly]

I kinda want to have a small youtube channel where I share my thoughts and how I feel on a shitty camera in my room. Something like nolongerhuman or other small creators with distinct aesthetics and a similar vibe. Idk if it would make me feel better or worse

[cursedndolly]

I recently watched euphoria

And omg im in love with season one

I haven't watched much of s3 but ik its absolute buns there's no doubt

Obviously my favourite character is rue bc she's literally me. So many of her scenes make me want to cry like please someone take care of my baby

And the soundtrack is phenomenal i dont play about labrinth

S1 is pure cinema idc

[cursedndolly]

Why couldn't I be born a boy

Its not fair why do I have to be like this

Im not even trying, and I can't because my parents would probably stop me

Im tired of walking around like a fucking girl

I wish I were a boy

[cursedndolly]

My mom saying "you taking those meds and trying to kill yourself was a choice"

Yeah and why the fuck do you think i made that choice

[cursedndolly]

One of my "secrets" is that I've always wanted to audition to a kpop company/entertainment company to just see how far I can go😭

Tbh my dream job would be an artist/performer in some way but the world sucks so im studying something that's 'predictable' or whatever

[cursedndolly]

Everything is irritating as fuck. i don't know where went the sheet my therapist gave me and I also don't know when's my next appointment cause my mom LOVES leaving everything last minute.

And I think i have TWO extra classes going on after school at the same time and idk which one i should go to🫩 one of the teachers is so fucking annoying like why would I pick to stay in school for computer science over higher level maths you know damn well which one's harder

[cursedndolly]

I hate when one of my moots repost some bs like now I gotta unfollow damn

[cursedndolly]

My family is so mentally/emotionally draining im so done

I genuinely can't be around them for too long otherwise I genuinely want to harm myself🫩

[cursedndolly]

I hate seeing someone who going through worse /the same struggles as your and they're doing way better... like ok I should just kill myself then

[cursedndolly]

Guys when is it safe to start drinking after overcoming acute liver failure

Asking for a friend

[cursedndolly]

Can the people around me stop saying hunter doohan looks like Wilbur soot im going to gauge my eyes out because I can see it

I used to like Wilbur (YEARS ago) too so its like FUCK OFF this is so humiliating😭

[cursedndolly]

I have to pick a teacher to assess my behaviour or some shit (I think it might be for autism but there's nothing specified on the sheet) and I've come to the realisation that no one actually knows me.

Apart from my friends, but i keep some things from them too.

I kept on looking at the questions and it made me so mad because no adult in my life would be able to answer those questions accurately

No one knows me and ive never gotten the opportunity to truly open up and get close with someone

I actually hate it here im going to cry

[cursedndolly]

How it feels like to struggle with eating/body dysmorphia as someone who's always been "skinny":

[cursedndolly]

I feel like an attention seeking disorder faker now that im actually getting help its so annoying

Like yeah doc i think im autistic😂 i also think i might have a personality disorder😂✌️ oh also can you put me on antidepressants or something pretty please