Deaven

🧸

[cyanide-unicorns]

I'm going to burn down the house i was raised in. I'm going to watch the memories fall to ash. the house where I was shown no love. where my father's anger was held captive and turned biblical. the house where god feared entry. not even soft whispered prayers could save us. it was its own other world entirely. one that haunts no matter what. speaking the address causes a shadow in my mother's eyes. I'm going to burn down the house I was raised in. I'll fall to my knees as it crumbles. I'll speak to it softly. in a sweet nurturing tone. I'll speak of the life I pray for. I pity who stumbles upon the ruins.

[cyanide-unicorns]

being your secret keeps me safe like a trinket in your pocket

my mind aches thinking of all the lives we're not living

your smell lingers on my pillows and clouds my thoughts until I can't breathe

how many times can your body be pressed on mine until we admit I'm yours

[cyanide-unicorns]

I look for you in everyone. the man on the bus had your eyes. I can almost taste your breath with all the random strangers I've kissed. at night I stroke my hair the way you once did. lying awake at night in the bed we once shared. when I'm old and rot my skin will still ich for you in the same sick way. I love you indefinitely.

[cyanide-unicorns]

I've begged god for help. to make the world kinder and dearer. my prayers have always remained unanswered. my flesh is addictive and rot. Just this once, let me feel peace. let the fox on the road live. have the sun shine through all my wounds, healing me indefinitely. my prayers have always remained unanswered.

[cyanide-unicorns]

I miss when it was august and we were lying awake together in the warm early mornings when everyone else was still asleep. Drunkenly planning our future life together and forever intertwining ourselves. I confessed to you thoughts I had never dared to say out loud and your mind was too dull to process my feelings let alone thought’s. I miss the life we had in my head.

[ciggi3s4ever-deactivated2025112]

from being at an obscure after party doing K to going to the church everyday

[cyanide-unicorns]

Me turning to religion immediately after starting drugs again ✨✨

[sterlingvenetia]

[cyanide-unicorns]

It’s a new year. I miss the years when you loved me

[cyanide-unicorns]

You were the right person I just wasn’t ready to be with the right person. I miss you infinitely

[cyanide-unicorns]

‼️ My photo ‼️

I love fairy wings <3

[cyanide-unicorns]

I sit in my room screaming off key and off beat to too slow songs. I feel everything so deeply, and all at once. I try to push it out of me but it’s never enough

I scream and hit things yet it’s never enough. I’m too predictable, too destructive, too much all at once. I feel exhaustion seeping through my bones, making a sticky mess on my floor that can only be cleaned with the tears of yearning to be a child again. I’ll try and dig through my skin to get back to her, creating a dark ugly story on my skin. The thick purple lines will never be enough to fix my childhood, but still I try. I choke at the view of the body I’ve created.

[cyanide-unicorns]

when John Keating said  “We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?” I felt that