July's Almost Over
Zadie is napping, so I will make this quick. It’s been a long time since I’ve written. Too long. I have a list of excuses, but none of them matter, and none of them are valid. Here I am now.
Three things I’ve learned along the way and I feel worthy of sharing, in spite of my fear of being judged or labelled trite. Stop explaining yourself, don’t tell anyone your business, and by your deeds you shall be known. I’ve written about these before, but they’re due for further inquiry. I can’t honestly say I’ve learned these truisms, more like, I heard them, think they’re great, and I’m still trying really hard to implement them.
Stop explaining yourself - The first one is a toughie, but I try to remember every day that what other people think of me is none of my business. You put it out there, that’s the part you control, and how it lands and is interpreted is completely, 100% always and forever out of your hands. Some people are gonna like you, a few might love you, and others may hate you, possibly for no good reason other than they don’t like the cut of your jib. No biggie. There are so many times where I wanted to send an email or make a phone call, and have that conversation to try and get some kind of control over a situation that got out of hand, or where I felt I was misunderstood, but instead chose not to say a word. The truth of the matter usually makes it way to the surface, and even if it doesn’t, me trying to control it by explaining myself is just a waste of energy. Let it ride.
Don’t tell anyone your business - The second one is so hard for me. A super wise old lady told me that years ago, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought, ‘Oh man, that’s me, I’m such a blabbermouth about my hopes and dreams, and secrets, I gotta keep that shit in check.’ It’s the nature of being a free spirit and basically an open book that I confide in too many people. I showed a friend one of the biggest skeletons in my closet, only to find out she promptly returned to her friends, sharing my deep, dark story as if it served as a nice break in the usual, mundane dinner conversation. What do you do when you discover your confidante ain’t so confidential? Shut your yapper, that’s what. There really are very few people who can manage to keep anything to themselves. Pick your sounding boards wisely. Also, it’s better to just do whatever it is you’re going to do. No need to give a sneak peek of the blueprints.
By your deeds you shall be known - The third one is extra tricky, not only in the way we perceive ourselves, but others as well. I might fancy myself a writer, but if I’m not putting the pen to the paper or tippy tapping on the clicker clacker, then I might as well call myself an Irish dancer, a banker or a gymnast. We like to think of ourselves a certain way, but how do we actually act in the day to day? And what about the people you surround yourself with? Are they really who you make them out to be? Or are you waiting around for them to fulfill some idea you have of them?
I’ve been thinking back to a conversation I had with an old friend, where we took turns having a bit of a rant and rave at the horrid state of affairs, particularly the uniquely screwed up version that’s playing out on our little Island, and when I stopped to take a breath, he said, “Ok, but now we have to move passed indignation, and figure out what to do about it.” Good point. I’ve been feeling really unsettled in my current locale, and I need to figure out if it’s the place, or if it’s me. Like, do I necessarily need to move on to ‘bigger and better’ places to fulfill my goals, or do I simply need to take action and dive into the things I ought to be doing here? All of this is to say, I guess in the spirit of number three, I’m working on launching a podcast called “These Three Things” where I chat to various interesting folks about, well, three things. Three is easy. It’s my favourite number. And basically, I just need to do something quick.
So yeah, those are my three things at the moment. I’m hoping that in the next couple of days, maybe during tomorrow’s nap time, I can figure out the steps for making your own podcast, and then I/you can hear all about someone else’s things.