past or future | let them be📸 @dabiizzz - Tumblr Blog

Jun 11

i'll take care of you - hitoshi shinsou

part 2

read part 1 here :)

desc: the morning after changes everything. convinced shinsou regrets what happened between you, you do your best to avoid him until a single conversation forces both of you to confront the truth. turns out the hardest part wasn't sleeping together.. it was admitting how long you've been in love.

content: post time skip au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, miscommunication, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, emotional constipation, idiots in love, shinsou hitoshi is bad at communicating, reader is also bad at communicating, everyone say thank you mina, neighbour au, post sex feelings, confession, lots of yearning, mild angst, crying, happy ending, kissing

note: well! turns out all of this could've been solved with one text message. unfortunately for everyone involved, these two share a single braincell and neither of them had it. thank you all for the love on part 1! sorry for taking so long, writers block hit me like a truck ♡

you wake slowly the next morning, the soft light of the sun flooding into your room. you blink once, twice, three times before groaning softly, squeezing your eyes shut to keep out the light. it was bright.. way too bright for your poor eyes and your sleepy brain. it takes you a second to come around, flopping onto your back as you rubbed at your eyes. you groaned, arms flopping down beside you, and your brain finally caught up to the realisation that you were alone.

alone. in your bed. that you originally weren’t alone in.

you turn your head to where hitoshi shinsou had once laid beside you and your heart drops to your stomach. the sheets weren't warm, but they weren't cold. if he had left, it was probably in the last 30 minutes or so.

you try to control your rapidly beating heart, telling yourself he probably went to shower or that he's in the kitchen making breakfast. your ears strain to try and see if you can hear the running water of the shower, or maybe the playlist he loves to blare when he's busy, but you hear nothing. your heart rate quickens again, and you reach over to your bedside table to grab your phone. maybe he sent a text.

you sift through your notifications, hoping to find one from hitoshi with any indication where he ran off to, but find nothing from him. you go to your guys text thread, heart twisting beneath your chest when the last text was from him a few days prior.

fuck.

you sink back into your bed, trying to blink away the burning feeling in your eyes as you stare up at the ceiling.

he left. without a word. didn't even bother waking you up to tell you, just slipped out of your room without a goodbye. something swirls inside of you, building up in the base of your throat but you swallow it back down.

you should've expected it, you think. he was probably freaked out from the reality of the situation. seriously, who can sleep with their best friend and be normal after? you slap your hand onto your forehead, mentally cursing yourself as your eyes begin to burn more. this time you don't blink away the tears, allowing them to slide down your face freely.

stupid, stupid, stupid. you should have never fucking asked. how could you do this?

the one relationship in your life that you cherished more than anything down the fucking drain because you.. wanted to stop feeling so behind? you could have slept with anyone. anyone in the world and yet you chose hitoshi. your heart twists beneath your chest at just the thought of your friend and you don't stop the quiet sob that slips from your lips, hands coming up to cover your face.

how can you face him after this? wherever he went off to, he'll have to come back. because he lives RIGHT next to you. in the same apartment building. your neighbour. god, how could you be so fucking stupid?

you let yourself cry, rolling over onto your bed to bury your face into your pillow. your entire body freezes when you realise it was the pillow shinsou had used the night prior, and it still smelled like him. more tears fell at that, your stomach twisting so violently that it made you feel physically ill. your sobs grew, arms circling around the pillow to pull it closer to you, face pressing so hard into the fabric of the pillow case that it almost hurt.

your mind is racing, images of last night running through your head and it only makes you feel worse. it was almost everything you could've ever wanted, everything you pictured out of your first time. you never felt so cared for in your life, and the way shinsou was so gentle with you… under better circumstances, you would have blushed, but instead your stomach just twists again as another sob rips from you.

the reminder of his gaze on you stings much worse than you could have ever thought. your skin burned where he touched you, which was everywhere, and your lips felt sore at the reminder of the kiss you shared. the only kiss you have ever shared with him, and will ever share probably, and that thought alone brings a sour taste into the base of your throat.

you find yourself wishing that there could be more kisses and moments like last night with your best friend, and that realisation is scary all in itself.

you trusted hitoshi, that much is true, but maybe somewhere deep down, the reason you had asked him wasn't just on that alone. maybe… there was something more, lingering in the back of your mind, your heart, and you just hadn't noticed it yet. or chose not to notice it? you're not sure, but either way it's here now, pushing it's way through and god… it fucking hurts.

you cry until you can't anymore, until it hurts to even blink, and then you're pushing yourself up and out of your bed. you're not sure if it's because of the raging headache you're harbouring at the moment, or if it really is a good idea, but you decide on the only thing you can think of at the moment that may salvage your relationship with shinsou.

ignore everything. act like nothing happened. if you do that, maybe he'll realize it wasn't a big deal and things will go back to normal. that'll work, right?

something in the pit of your stomach tells you you're completely wrong, but you listen to that loud part in your brain that just won't shut up. you're going to shower and then hole up in your room. maybe you'll take a drive. anything to take your mind off of last night and off of hitoshi entirely.

your stomach twists again in that way you hate at the thought of your best friend, and you do your best to shove it to the back for at least a few more hours.

shinsou feels lighter when he steps back into your apartment building, a small smile on his face. the villain he and todoroki hunted down was in custody and he felt really fucking good about it. so good, in fact, his feet were already dragging him towards your apartment, excitement filling him to tell you all about his morning shenanigans. he usually works nights, after all.

he realised he can’t wait to see you, excitement only growing as he inches closer to your door. his mind wanders to last night and his skin buzzes just at the thought, stomach turning in the most delicious way. his face flushes at the thought of you beneath him, and his step slows down.

he never thought in a million years he'd ever been in a position like that with you. had the thought ever crossed his mind? sure, but he would never ever even consider making a move on you. you were his best friend - one of the most important people in his life. he wasn't about to ruin that, and maybe that's why he initially declined your offer. though, the more he thought about it, the more he inched towards yes.

what really sealed the deal was the thought of you being under someone else. it made his skin crawl, and his stomach turned so roughly that he almost made himself sick over it, learning quickly that that feeling was jealousy.

he feels a bit selfish having agreed to your favor, because he knew deep down it was more than just being a good friend. maybe those feelings he thought he had pushed back into the deepest parts of his brain had vanished after the many years of being your friend, but he thinks it just grew. slowly, but surely, and then all at once whenever you looked up at him last night, eyes glossed over and his name on your tongue.

he enters your apartment as always before he knocks on your bedroom door and waits, but after a solid minute of silence passes by his hand twists the knob, slowly pushing your door open. he expected to find you asleep in bed, growing excited at the thought of crawling back in with you, but his heart drops when he realises you were nowhere to be found. your bed was neatly made and your bag you typically kept on your desk was gone, indicating you were probably out.

which was fine. he reaches for his phone, maybe having missed your text that you wouldn't be home, but finds nothing from you. that's odd.

he frowns, thumbs already moving across his screen as anxiety bubbles slowly in his chest. usually you'd at least let him know you'd be out or even where you had gone, but giving him nothing was completely out of the norm for you.

shinso: where are you?

y/n: with a friend! be home later.

his brows furrow at your message. relief doesn't wash over him like he thought it would, instead dread fills his stomach.

you have other friends. this isn't anything out of the ordinary, he's come over to you not being there loads of times. you can hang out with other people. however, after last night, something in the back of his mind is screaming at him that something’s wrong. he shakes it off, chalking it up to his anxiety messing with him, thumbs moving again.

shinsou: just checking :) got worried lmao when will you be back?

y/n: not sure. don't wait up :)

his stomach drops. he didn't like the way that made him feel, the anxiety inside of him bubbling over. he scrolled up to your other text thread, seeing the messages shared between the two of you and the obvious vibe switch. to an outsider, this would probably look like a normal text between two friends, but deep down he knew something was up.

he makes his way to his , chewing on his bottom lip as his mind races. had he done something last night? hitoshi can't think of a single thing he may have done wrong, having thought he had done everything right. he did his best to make sure you were taken care of, but maybe he hadn’t.

or maybe you just simply didn’t like it.

he tells himself not to dwell on it, trying to find something to do to pass the time until you come home. that doesn’t work, because he finds himself staring at the ceiling hours later, the anxiety inside of him growing as each minute passes.

fuck.

you managed to stay out much longer than you anticipated, turns out you had a lot to say to mina when you had asked her if you could come over. you were scared that she was going to judge you for asking hitoshi to be your first, but instead she sat patiently with you on her bed, listening intently to everything you had to say.

when you were finished, she simply smiled at you before asking, "you like him, don’t you?"

all you can do is nod, and if you hadn't cried yourself out that morning, you would have probably cried right then and there.

she didn't seem shocked, instead only smiled more before telling you that she figured as much, because she 'knew'. you're not sure what this means, because she refused to elaborate, saying you'll understand eventually.

hours later, when you came home and quietly tip-toed to your apartment, just knowing that if shinsou was in, he would be listening out for you.

mina said you had to talk to him, and you think eventually you will, but the thought still hurts. you'll have to do it when it doesn't anymore, yet you're not sure when that will be. you toss and turn that night in bed, eyes glued to your ceiling as every single possible scenario passed through your mind.

what if you had truly ruined your relationship with shinsou? you had to have, seeing as he didn't even feel comfortable enough to stay long enough for you to wake up.

you let yourself cry one more time, mourning the loss of one of the most important people in your life dating all the way back to UA , before you finally drifted off to sleep. then, that morning when you woke, you told yourself that you'd talk to him tonight. apologize for everything and tell him it can be forgotten, and hope you can go back to normal eventually.

the rest of your apartment is empty as you left your room and you’re relieved, but there’s still a small part of you that wishes maybe, just maybe, he would’ve been out here waiting for you. you crawl back into bed after freshening up and brushing your teeth, deciding you’ll rot there for the day before having to face your best friend.

maybe you’ll take another nap. maybe you’ll finish that book you’ve been putting off for months.

you actually don’t get to do any of that because your door is being pushed open, shinsou staring at you from the doorway. at first you don’t do anything, hell, you don’t even breathe. your eyes widen as you stare at your best friend, whose tired eyes are narrowing at you.

“alright,” shinsou stares at you on your bed, hands on his hips. “what the fuck is your problem? was it seriously that bad that you’ve resorted to straight up ignoring me?”

you sit frozen, pulling your blankets up your body. “what?”

“was it bad?” he repeats, his tone insistent. “or did i.. did i hurt you? i had to have done something for you to ignore me.”

“what? no.” you shake your head, embarrassment and slight anger running through because this is what he wanted to talk about after leaving you? “i’m fine. it was great.”

he stares at you for a beat before his arms fall to his sides, mouth dropping into a frown. "okay, cool. that still doesn't explain why you've been ignoring me."

the anger outweighs your embarrassment and you sit up fully in your bed, eyes narrowing in a glare at your best friend.

"well, why haven't you talked to me?" your arms cross over your chest, tilting your chin up. "besides, you're the one who left me alone in the morning without a fucking word."

you could hear a pin drop with how silent the room fell, the frown on shinsou's face slipping away. your heart raced beneath your chest as you watched his face fall into one of confusion and then into understanding, soft brown eyes widening as yours only narrowed more.

"shit... i didn't text you."

your brows furrowed. "what?"

"i meant to text you." he says almost frantically now, slapping a hand to his forehead. "holy shit, is that why you haven't talked to me? because you thought i left you alone?"

"well, i didn't have to think about it - you did leave me alone."

his lips form into a frown again. "it’s not what you think."

"well, what am i supposed to think, toshi?"

he sighs before running a hand down his face.

"todoroki called me about some villain we've been trailing for a while, caught me up on an idea he had and i think i just got so invested in the whole thing i just… left?" he comes to stand next to your bed, frown still evident on his lips. "and i meant to text you, because i couldn't get myself to wake you up. you looked too cute. didn't wanna disturb you after um… the night you had."

your face flushes at his words, flashes of your night shared together racing through your mind. hitoshi notices, his own face flushing, before sitting down beside you. your shoulders tense at the closeness.

he continues, "i was going to come back. i wouldn't just leave after that. i'd never do that to you."

you let his words linger. if you had thought about it with a more rational mind, you would’ve realized that yeah, shinsou would never do that to you. leaving you without a word made no sense whatsoever.

"well." your shoulders deflate, giving your friend a sheepish look. "i really wish you had just texted me, because then i wouldn't have convinced myself you hated me and regretted the entire thing."

"hate you? babe, i would never." he looked at you, almost offended, and yet your body was buzzing at the nonchalant slip of the pet name. "and for the record, i don't regret anything. as long as you don't."

"i don't." it flies from your lips so quickly that your face warms from embarrassment, hitoshi's own face flushing. "i don’t regret it at all. as long as you don't."

"i don't." he mimics your words, much softer than you had, and his gaze falling on you makes you feel warm all over.

your mind was racing, trying to catch up with everything. shinsou hadn't actually left you in a haste of regret, instead left because… he went to work? a text he had meant to send was forgotten due to likely being distracted by whatever todoroki had sprung onto him, and you feel like punching yourself for not using the rational part of your brain and talking to him to begin with. mina even told you that you should, but by then you had fully convinced yourself he hated your guts.

if only you had texted him that morning, maybe all this miscommunication would've never happened. instead, you'd not only caused anxiety for yourself, but for shinsou, and that thought alone upsets you immensely. you meet his eyes with a frown, arms tightening around your chest.

"i'm sorry." you tip your head back with a groan, hands now coming up to cover your face. "if i had just… fucking texted you like a normal person, we wouldn't be in this weird mess."

"it's not a mess. just.. miscommunication at its finest." shinsou chuckles halfheartedly at his joke, and you feel the covers shift as he scoots closer to you. "it happens, and honestly, i should've just woken you up. that would've probably solved everything."

"maybe."

shinsou pauses before asking, “so… you actually don’t regret it?”

“no.” you flush, before quietly adding, “…it was amazing.”

he flushes. "…yeah?"

you feel him scoot closer, your covers shifting and all you can do is nod. he's close enough now that you can feel his body heat, and the urge to reach out to touch him was suddenly the only thing you could think about.

"mhm. thank you… you didn't have to do that."

"i didn't." he hums and you realize just how much closer he's gotten. if it weren't for the blanket still partially wrapped around your body, your legs would be touching, and the thought brings a shiver down your spine. "but i wanted to. thank you for trusting me."

you don't know how it happens, or when it happens, but the second your eyes meet hitoshi's again it's like some gravitational pull is tugging you towards him. it's all one big blur, a flurry of limbs as he reaches for you while you're trying to free yourself of the blanket wrapped around your body to crawl into his lap. your lips smash together in a bruising kiss but you don't even care, especially when he makes the sweetest noises against your lips.

your arms wrap around his shoulders as you settle into his lap, legs on either side of his hips, and his fingers dig into your thighs. the groan he lets out against your lips goes straight to your core and the reminder of last night is clear as day in your mind. you're overwhelmed, the need to be as close as possible to him again flooding your senses. it's you who lets out a noise this time, a desperate whine, and shinsou pulls back at that, eyes half-lidded.

you catch your breath before you're chasing his lips again, drunk off the feeling, and your hips start moving on their own, grinding yourself into him. you gasp at the feeling of his hardening cock between your thighs and shinsou takes the opportunity to lick into your mouth, swallowing the noises you were making. he pulls back only trailing his lips across your cheek and down your jaw, nipping at your skin. your eyes are beginning to roll back at the same time he sighs out your name, fingers inching dangerously close to where you needed him the most, before something inside of you snaps.

"wait." the almost drunken haze you had felt from his kiss was shattered, the reality of everything falling all at once. you pull back from his kiss against your skin, resting your hands on his shoulders to keep yourself steady at how fast you moved, eyes widening. "wait, wait, wait. what the fuck are we doing?"

shinsou pulls back from your neck, purple eyes glossed over in what you can only assume was want. he blinks before realisation fills his features, and you feel his grip on your thighs loosen.

"i…" you can't help but watch his neck when he swallows, and also can't help but follow his tongue as it swipes across his bottom lip. "i don't know. i just really wanted to do that again."

his words hit you right in the chest, heart pounding against your ears. "really?"

"yeah. i haven't stopped thinking about it," he murmurs, and you watch his eyes drop from yours back down to your lips. "kind of wanna keep doing it."

"oh." it comes out weakly, and you're not sure if the flush on your cheeks was from his words or from the kiss you just shared. maybe both. "you want to keep doing it?"

"yeah." his eyes drag back up to yours and you see something flash in them, something that has your stomach turning in a way you've never felt before. were those butterflies? "i think i have for a while. is that okay?"

oh.

your heart was beating so rapidly against your chest and you couldn't find the right words to say, because what the fuck was he talking about? he wanted to kiss you? and has been wanting to for a while? your mind immediately goes back to mina, to her telling you that you'll understand eventually, and suddenly it was all starting to make sense. your arms settled back around his neck and you felt his fingers dig into your skin again, eyes never leaving yours.

"i think i have for a while, too, so um.” you swallow down the nerves, giving shinsou a timid smile. “yes. very much okay."

you see the ghost of a smile on his lips, outer corners turning up at your words. "yeah?"

you nod, but instead of answering you lean back towards him. he meets you halfway, lips pressing to yours in a much different kiss than the one you had just shared. it wasn't as frantic, filled with something you can't quite place yet, but you were obsessed. it made you feel warm, almost like you were floating, and you quickly realized you would never get enough of it.

you've never experienced this with another person in your life and you're suddenly thinking about how you never want to do this with anyone else. just shinsou.

you squeak against his lips when you feel him lift you up and toss you onto the bed, your back meeting the sheets. he's on top of you immediately, but he doesn't attach his lips to yours just yet, instead stares down at you with the softest eyes you'd ever seen.

"i also think i've liked you for a lot longer than i've realized, and i hope that's okay, too." he looks almost terrified to say that, and you feel a pang of sadness punch you in the stomach.

"that's more than okay," you all but whisper, reaching out to pull shinsou down to you, "because i think i have too."

you don't miss the relieved smile he gives you before his lips were back on yours, his body melting right on top of yours.

this is the start of something you've both craved for years