love deluxe

hi i'm tesse` (like tessa) i'm 22 and i like drawing and dresses (she/her)

[goneladyegcake-deactivated20170]

doodles of apollo with his boyfriend and girlfriend (im talking about cat. not klavier with ponytails. its still klavier)

[yorknewclty]

@daftgreen

[ositia]

in which klavier gets brand deals but they’re all with the brands apollo buys

@talesofsymphonya is partially to blame for this

(art blog)

[goneladyegcake-deactivated20170]

@mathsisgoodyeah pls look at this

[yorknewclty]

@daftgreen

[daftgreen]

mon amor u have returned to me

[daftgreen]

okay it has been a very very long time but tumblr has always been a place i can vent without feeling too bad about it so here we go

it kind of hit me out of nowhere that in the last year i have isolated myself to such an extent that i don’t think just telling friends it’s because i’m depressed and life has gotten much busier and i lack the energy still cuts it?? 

i feel like i have reached a point where my almost nonexistent communication reflects very badly on me as a friend. i have kind of just been letting dropped conversations and failed commitments etc pile up over the last few years just kind of falling back on the fact that people probably understood and if they didn’t it was okay bc we’re friends and it’s okay!! but like... it’s really not??? and i feel *so*!! guilty about it!! all of the time!!! 

i want people to know and trust that i adore them so much and i don’t isolate myself because it’s what i really want??  i have so little energy and even the smallest commitments feel draining and i’ve got so much anxiety and honestly i just really really wish i could be more present and enjoy life and be completely myself. i want to be there for my friends when things are bad and i want to celebrate the good things and i want to give my complete support because they have done the same for me!!! 

i have a hard time getting close to people and i still feel self-conscious about every little thing i do and like.. i won’t ignore the progress i’ve made since i’ve been at school bc that’s been huge and i’ve definitely been improving but i really just want to get to a place where i’m just like..present and comfortable and enjoy things fully again. i have had such a big year and it doesn;t make any sense to me why it feels like this impossibly difficult task to get in touch with people that i care about and tell them about it and get to hear their stories too!!! 

so if we have lost touch or it seems like i don’t care i am truly so sorry. i care very very much even when it really doesn’t seem that way and i am going to really push myself to reach out to people even when it’s easier to keep to myself bc i’m tired of spending all of this time alone when i really want to be with people

i love!!!! my friends!!!! and i love meeting new people and i want to be close to people and give affection freely and i can do it!!!! thank you for being there for me through all of this and i’m gonna be be better at being there for you too <3333 

[daftgreen]

i have so many good pics of her

[daftgreen]

she just loafs sometimes

[daftgreen]

posting anything on here makes me feel self conscious and guilty now and on one hand i used to like being on social media so much bc i was active and was able to keep up w/ friends and meet people but on the other it's like.. i feel really exposed and embarrassed to post life stuff even though I really want to share since i don't ever come on here anymore?? It's a Weird feeling maybe I should start fresh w/ a personal blog and leave this for art and hopefully get more comfortable online again

[daftgreen]

a very good baby

[daftgreen]

posts selfies at midnight when hopefully nobody will see them.....

[daftgreen]

check out these gavins

[daftgreen]

Today i was klavier at sakuracon and tomorrow the goal is to fix the wig and take more pics 💪

[lapislaz-uli-deactivated2016100]

**urgent**

hey my name is prince and im a nonbinary trans individual who just recently got out of the hospital for mental health reasons and found out my rat has a tumor. i dont have the money to pay for my hospital bills let alone to get my rat to a vet so she can be treated, and im currently looking for jobs but so far nobody has gotten back to me yet i’d really appreciate any help i can get, even if it’s only a $1 so i can give her the care she needs. if you want to donate, my paypal is [email protected] or if you wanna just spread the word that’ll mean the world to me too!!! i don’t have anything to give back except for my eternal gratitude. thanks for reading and please please help me if you’re able to!!!

[daftgreen]

I accidentally picked chat format and now it's too late to fix it bye

i'm not sure what i was thinking when i assumed being at school and away from home would make it easier to talk to my friends and hang out online because that is very clearly not the case

[daftgreen]

IM in college now and have been for a few weeks!! I'm sorry I haven't been able to update here lately but when things get less busy i will be around more!! I miss my friends and I hope you're all well!!!! I can't wait to catch up 💖💖💖

[daftgreen]

i’m moving into my dorm tomorrow and i am freaking the f out so i drew klav in a bunch of different hairstyles to distract myself :’)

[daftgreen]

and of course a drawing dump from me would not be complete without a bunch of shitty klapollo art

[daftgreen]

i drew my favorite jojos without a reference but i gotta say ive missed drawing them!! its been 2 long