The Daily Baxter

I'm a Tibetan Terrier Puppy! dailybaxter (at) gmail (dot) com

[dailybaxter]

Hello? Anyone still there?

I am FOURTEEN!

Slept until 11:30 this morning when Ryan said it was definitely time to go outside. Got carried down the stairs like a king (not like a baby).

Had my daily dose of medicines. Touched my toes to the frosty front lawn, and then moseyed over to my office bed.

Monitored Amanda’s afternoon meetings, toured the Guinea pig cage to see if they had any pre dinner snacks for me, and gave my greasy old face a nice wipe across the living room couch. I didn’t want to show up at my birthday dinner with a dirty beard, you know?!

After I blew out the candles I made quick work of my birthday cupcake. Can you believe they only let me have one?

Anyway…tomorrow will be more of the same, except without hats and cupcakes.

I’ll check back in next year.

[dailybaxter]

Still here. Still handsome.

Still demanding payment for my presence.

Did you know I have Ryan and Amanda trained to give me two cookies just for staring at them for a prolonged period of time?

Anyway, life is good. I don’t use toilet paper, don’t cover my nose when I sneeze. I don’t ever work from an office or have COVID 19 disease.

I just say more cookies please.

[dailybaxter]

The whole “groomers always quit on me” problem seems to be resolved.

Amanda and Ryan just decided that they’d watch some YouTube videos, make an Amazon purchase and become groomers themselves.

I may not want to pose for a show photo, but this is definitely the best haircut I’ve had in at least a year.

Do you get tired after grooming? So tired. So tired that I don’t even care if a small fry buries me under stuffed animals.

[dailybaxter]

Did I tell you guys about the time I had 14 teeth pulled?

How about the time a year later when I had 12 teeth pulled?

The thing is, they shaved part of my leg for the IV. And then I spent 5 days licking it.

Amanda and Ryan said that this is the BEST option and that it’s much nicer than putting on a cone.

For the record, I totally fine with leggings as pants...as long as they are lululemon.

This pair is doing nothing for my beard.

[dailybaxter]

Semi-annual Baxter reporting on-site from Ryan’s office.

I’m pleased to note that I now have a custom made bed.

You know who sits on the floor?

Children and cats. Pun completely intended when I say that it’s beneath me.

In other life updates, I am going to see a new groomer today. Anyone else have 3 groomers dump them?

Too much hair they say. Too heavy. Gets tired and lays down in the middle of a cut. Listen folks. I’ve seen Kim Kardashian literally sleep through hair and makeup. A diva has rights, you know?

Fingers crossed that this new lady is legit. Will report back later.

Or in 6 months.

[dailybaxter]

In which sleeping is the most exciting thing I do these days.

Exhibit #1. I’m in a bed. On a trampoline! Why? Because Amanda vacuumed and couldn’t be bothered to return it to it’s proper spot.

Exhibit #2. I’m in a bed. It’s in its proper spot BUT it’s upside down. The small child said it’s better this way.

Exhibit 3. I’m in a bed. It’s in its proper spot. It’s right side up. And I’m covered in blankies. On a 95 degree day. Small child strikes again.

Exhibit 4. No bed. FLOOR OF CAR?!? They said I should be grateful I got to go with them and both kids refused to let me sit between them and Amanda said I was too big to sit on her lap for 90 miles.

Exhibit 5. More fan. Need more fan on my belly. This summer was too much.

Exhibit 6. I’m in a reading nook. The best thing about this spot is that I have quick access to look out the front windows and glare disapprovingly at the neighbors.

Exhibit 7. Where’s Waldo edition.

Exhibit 8. How many matchbox cars do you think are under my tummy?

[dailybaxter]

Surely a kid that little can’t eat a treat that big. He’ll share with me, right? Maybe I should just help him open it...a corner seems like the way to start.

[dailybaxter]

If your kid puts bunny ears on you, you kinda just have to go with it. Now lemme hop outside. There was an intruder sneaking around here last night and I’m hot on his chocolate egg scented trail.

[dailybaxter]

Just in case you wondered if dogs were subject to middle age. We are.

[dailybaxter]

I know there are all sorts of ways to show your love for someone.

Shearing them like a sheep is not one of the ways I’ve ever heard of, but Amanda swears it’s in my own best interest.

We are moving, she says. Baxter translation: why is our house so clean? Smells like strangers have been here. I’d better pee on the wall.

We are not going far. You will have woods of your very own! With a lot of hills! You love wooded hills, she says. Baxter translation: The exterior might be acceptable, but the interior of this new house seems to be lacking something. I’d better pee on the wall.

The woods are rife with critters you can chase. This will be fun, but they will also have fleas and ticks. Your glorious white hair is like a swan song for parasites, she says. Baxter translation: I fail to see why your decision to expose me to new grooming challenges has resulted in the unauthorized loss of my hair. Ever hear of first impressions? I’m going to get laughed out of the joint.

No more fences!…at least not the kind you can see. We are installing invisible fence, you just have to pay attention for a bit and learn how it works, she says. Baxter translation: Are you picking on my bangs? Again?? Because I can’t really see the fence at our current home. Sometimes I run into a relatively rigid boundary when I don’t corner tight enough, is that a fence? Wait a minute?? Did she say pay attention. And LEARN?!? It’s summer break! I am a terrible student! I had to repeat puppy class! Learning is overrated.

Amanda: Lies awake at night worrying that Baxter is going to be a tick laden neurotic wreck and will surely lose his marbles when the invisible fence starts shocking him. And also, do you think I could get a case discount on Urine Destroyer enzyme cleaner?

[dailybaxter]

It it possible to be loved too much? I'm thinking of what happens to a favorite blankie or teddy bear. Everyone things it's soooo sweet to watch a munchkin hug it and kiss it and tote it around like a prized jewel. At least at first. Before too long it's deformed and squished down to nothing but skin in the middle or the nose falls off and the eyes aren't glossy anymore. I happen to like all my parts fully stuffed, thankyouverymuch. In respect of that, I declare that too much love is a bad thing, nee dangerous, even! I'm not a grinch. I just have reasonable self preservation instincts.

[dailybaxter]

You know how Bubba Gump feels about shrimp? I feel the OPPOSITE about pretzels. Pretzel Sticks Butter snaps Honey mustard and onion pieces Goldfish pretzels Pretzels from Chex mix Gluten Free Pretzel crisps Pretzel rods Pretzel twists You name it, I'm not eating it. Won't even consider letting the things enter my mouth. Wake me up when it's bacon-thirty.

[dailybaxter]

Amanda and Ryan are getting new neighbors. Let me provide you with a transcript: Amanda: Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood! Them: We LOVE your dog!! That's right folks. First words out of their mouth. If there's any justice in this world, the realtor will cut me in on her commission.

[culinaryquirks]

It’s cool to only do one post per year, right?

I do still cook (daily) and 2016 saw a new mouth to feed and new ways to feed old mouths, which begot new approach to cooking, but I suppose I only have proof that I baked cookies.

Just over 1,750 of them, if you’re counting.

This years collection includes:

Trail Mix Bars Royal Iced Cutout Sugar Cookies Tarallucci (Italian Lemon Knots) Amaretti (Italian Almond Paste Cookies) Peppermint Crunch Crescents Milk Chocolate Churro Truffles Dark Chocolate Drizzled Mocha Crumble Cookies

[dailybaxter]

You guys wanted to see all the cookies, right?

Details of my life include: Smelling cookies. Not eating cookies. Sleeping.

Merriest, of seasons!!

[dailybaxter]

Look. I'm not mad about the fact that I can see now, but are you sure this style looks good on me?

[dailybaxter]

Amanda: [wonders why she hasn't seen Baxter in awhile...checks to confirm fence gates are closed]. Weird. Where did he go? Baxter: [waiting ever so hopefully in the parked, garaged car he hopped into, Dukes of Hazard style]. Please find me! And bring the keys!!

[dailybaxter]

Yesterday Amanda and I did a thing. Pretty sure I shamed her into a haircut. We both appear happy with our cuts, but don't be fooled. One of us ran down the street and rolled in poop immediately upon returning home. Amanda says she thinks dog groomers should offer a Delta Sonic-type 3 day guarantee.