Daily Lessons Learned

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Must Watch: Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce

I love this show! My mother told me last week that it's only getting more difficult to have children as I get older and that I should probably "get on it." This show is in inspiration. I'm going to become a famous writer, make a bunch of $, move to a super awesome mansion in LA, have a super cute husband and kids...and hopefully everything will work out perfectly. But...if not, I can totally keep all of the above, but minus old husband and add sexy new boy toy. Life plan A, B, C, and D all sound awesome. Look out world! 🎉

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Lesson Learned from BFF

Sometimes it's pretty easy to take the extra "F" off of your guy BFF and turn him into a BF :)

Whoops! After all of that...I ended up with my best friend.

Couldn't be happier! This change in events dramatically changed my blog theme I'm afraid though.

I'll have to come up with a new idea since I'm off the market :)

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You go dude lol.

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A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all.

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Everyone spends so much time trying to get into bed with someone else….when in reality it’s amaaaaazing to have the entire bed to yourself!!!

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Best online dating pick up line yet hahaha

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I was really hoping magic mike would be the hot male costume this year....this did not happen...but hey, a girl can dream!

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Lesson Learned from Waldo

#1: Just don't ever make out with someone who refers to themselves (very seriously) as the "real Waldo" compared to the other Waldo's at the party. #2: Don't trust anyone who wants to "dance alone with you" in order to "kiss you". This is the same isolation technique that lions use when hunting gazelles. He should be perfectly comfortable either kissing you after he takes you out to a nice dinner the following week or just doing it in front if your loving friends who have definitely seen it happen before. # 3: Don't even begin to inquire about where/what/who's going to "the after party" that is going to occur somehow at 2:30am somewhere in the city with people from San Jose who currently have no booze. Convo: Waldo: "Are you coming to the after party?" Me: "Um...maybe...where is it?" Waldo: "Don't worry about it." Me: "Ok well who else is coming? Is my friend who's making out with your friend coming?" Waldo: "Don't worry about it, we'll make it up as we go along..." Me: "Well, not to be rude...but I can't really just leave my friends to go to some secret location where people may or may not be when all of the bars and liquor stores are closed." Waldo: "You are so dependent on your friends...you're so insecure...can't you think for yourself or stand to be alone for a minute. This is SF...we party hard here...you need to grow up and step your game up." Me: "Don't you live in San Jose? I really can't come tonight...I'm too tired. You can get my number if you want and ill hang out next time." Waldo: "It's tonight or never." Me: "Well, you're the generic one...you are NOT the real Waldo. Everyone here is dressed as f*ing Waldo. You don't have any friends to be attached to because they all left you alone. You live in freaking San Jose...you have no idea wtf happens in the city...it's super exhausting when you actually are a REAL SF resident. This was a super creepy indirect way to try to trick a girl into hooking up with you...I seriously don't recommend using it going forward. Happy Halloween mothafucka....I'm going to a huge after party at my girlfriends house a few blocks away!" Me 1. Waldo 0.

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When you wake up next to glow sticks and chalula you know it was a great night

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Stupid

I've spent so much of my life avoiding having sex with guys....and now it's all I can think about. Life is just stupid sometimes lol. I love it though...ugh it's awesome : )

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Lesson Learned from Meeting Guys at Bars in the Marina

So it is possible to meet a really hot, sweet, super interesting guy in the Marina... Best.date.ever! We'll see what happens : )

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Lesson Learned from Random Marina Bar Guy

I am surprised. I might have actually met an awesome guy in the Marina! Who knew?! I could be totally wrong...bit he seems awesome. Details: - 24 years old like me - works at a construction company as project manager - lives in Hayes Valley - drives a company owned Honda accord - surfs/snowboards/wake boards - asked me out for dinner for our first date instead of drinks - picking me up for our date and where we're going is a surprise : ) - sends picture messages all of the time : ) So far this is going great : )

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Lesson learned from drinking too much wine

Well last night was a total fail. I drank too much wine at our work happy hour and then tried to go out. We went to a restaurant in the Marina (of course lol) and while we were there I had a martini and started to really go downhill. This guy was hitting on me and asked my friend and I to sit at their table. I quickly realized even though I was hammered that he was the weak gazelle out of the pack and that he'd definitely be the easiest to go for. He was really hot...but his friends were hotter and taller..which always makes the guy nicer and easier to snag lol. Even though he wanted to buy me a drink and seemed into me already...I decided that I was just too hammered to get into any situation where I might need to make an important decision. So I hopped in a cab and literally went home and went to bed. Best decision in a long time!

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"I hate it when I repeat names of guys I sleep with. Last night I figured, I haven't fucked a James yet...what the heck!"

Awesome girlfriend of mine

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Idiot Move of the Day

I just saw a guy I went on a date with (and I'm the process of planning a second date with) at a thai place at lunch and I didn't say hi! I don't think he saw me...but I don't know why I acted like such an idiot!

My coworkers probably thought I was nuts because I just went "omg...we need to go out the back door!". What the heck? Its not that I wasn't dressed cute or anything. I just don't know what my deal was lol. Oh well

Bonehead move on my part. He's always g-chatting me....I'll probably get some message asking why I literally ran away from him now lol. Stupid.

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How cool is this?

Picture by @sandimann21

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Lol.

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Lesson Learned from Ex Boyfriend

Do not ask an ex boyfriend questions about a girl who has recently frequently tagged him on Facebook. He might actually spill that this is his new girlfriend who he actually started dating two weeks after your four year (FOUR YEAR) relationship ended. He might actually then elaborate slightly on how much fun they actually had at all of the Facebook check in locations...at rodeo (that was so close to our breakup I was originally going with him), at the SF Giants game (3 blocks away from my house) and on the vacation to the lake with his entire extended family. Then he might slip and tell you how it's just so nice to really be liked by someone. Then you might want to hit him through the phone...but then you might have some vodka on the rocks. Then you might receive a booty call (in the form of like 20 persistent text messages) from the hot chiropractor while still listening to your ex bf tell about his lame new gf. But you might actually say no and be a good girl and go to bed. And then you might write about this on your blog while finishing off your vodka and thinking about the hot far away fireman and actually hoping he was actually in the bed with you. Lesson learned: Ex bfs can really suck sometimes.