"Also, you never liked me. The reason I'm leaving nice asks in your ask box is because you need help. I want you to understand that you need to rethink a few things. So here are some more questions for you to start. And I want you to post this full msg. 1. How would you describe your core self? 2. How do you handle your emotions? 3. What do you consider beautiful/what do you appreciate? 4. What drives you? 5. What is your life philosophy and do you seek spiritual growth or materialism.? 6. How do you communicate with strangers? Friends? Teachers? Family? Loved ones? 7. What is your attitude towards your family. 8. What do you take for granted? 9. With what/who do you relate to the most? 10. Do you live life in the present? Do you focus on the future? Do you live in the past? if so, what are you holding onto/dwelling on? 11. What do you love to do? What do you love about life? 12. What do you need in your life? 13. What do you admire in others? Lastly, 14. What do you desire? Do any of your answers create conflict inside, Stephen Tran? If not, here's it straight: what are you conflicted about/over? And what can you do to resolve that inner conflict?"
Well sorry now in hindsight if I was a dick to you. It was a mistake! But genuine kudos to you for looking out for others. I guess I'll answer in order.
1] In simple terms, I consider myself at this moment, confused with what to do short term but ambitious for the long term. Caring deep down but I know I at least unconsciously put up a kinda douchey front. Common-sensical and logical. A good friend once I am one, but too prideful to usually initiate (oops :c). Flawed and imperfect, but hopeful and trying to change and improve. Etc.
2] I handle my emotions kinda well? Depends on the specific emotion. I'll usually vent to someone if I'm sad or mad. And depending on the person I'm mad at, I might confront them and talk about the problem or just not say anything ever. If I'm sad I might talk to the person I'm sad at/with after I get over it a little bit. Happiness is a given that I'd be in a good mood with everyone lol. (just basic emotions answered I suppose?)
3] I honestly consider someone who knows what they want and what they believe in beautiful. It's so rare because most of society is conformist and changes what they believe in to fit others. Like changing to others to fit in isn't the same thing as fixing something about yourself to improve yourself in total. I respect those who change themselves because they recognize something they're doing isn't exactly a good thing, but I don't respect those who drop their own beliefs to fit others. I recognized that being your own person is fucking badass at a pretty young age, when my sister was forcefully made to come out. Her coach pretty much told my parents about it, which was fucking none of her business for one...anyway my parents were pissed and asked her about it. My sister held strong and she was gay. She was her own person and didn't give a shit what happened to her. I looked up to her and still do. She's so idol-worthy and she would make a great mother; it shouldn't matter if she's gay. She could do the work 10 straight couples could do ALONE. She's that hard working and caring. Sorry for the brief tangent, but she has a lot to do with what I respect and consider beautiful. I find a lot of other things beautiful that are pretty typical, like nature/art/good looking people/etc. I also find someone who is really passionate about something really cool. Like that's awesome that you care so much about X. Unless it's some stupid shit tbh LOL. It has to be meaningful xD
4] What drives me currently is really something that is really long term. I want to have a family that I can provide for and give a nice home and buy them nice things. I was 2-3 children (I WANT FRATERNAL TWINS, 1 GIRL 1 BOY). I want a beautiful wife who is smart and easy to talk to. I want my children to be smart and brave, but not stupid. I want them to be well-mannered but spoiled just a little bit. I really want to give my family the kind of life I wished for when my family was in the process of breaking. Familial stuff is what drives me right now.
5] My life philosophy? I don't know tbh. Try your best? Be your own person? Kinda go every day with your best eyes and have high hopes? And I seek both spiritual growth and materialism lol, as contradictory as it sounds. Of course I want to grow up and learn more about myself and others and whatnot. But at the same time I really enjoy fashion and stuff like that.
6] Well depends on the person specifically, but in general I treat strangers as strangers and usually do not associate myself with them any more than saying thank you or waving or opening a door for them. Unless they're a friends friend, I probably won't make conversation with them. If they are a friend's friend, then I might talk to them or they might talk to me and I'll reply. At the pentatonix thing, I met a bunch of UTD people and I got some of them to play ERS with my friends and I. It was pretty fun lol. Friends I try to treat well and equally, but of course there are some friends I consider better/good/best friends and whatnot. So pretty well, especially if you're a known friend (as in I know you're not fake or at least believe it). Teachers I respect until they give me a reason not to. Like they're teaching us for a reason, obviously they deserve our respect. Unless they are just stupid and resorted to teaching, but most of the teachers/professors I have did something cool and then settled down to teaching about what they did. That's awesome lol. Family...depends what you'd consider family. I believe in the quote, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," thereby pretty much saying that who we deem worthwhile to call family is more important those who are truly blood-tied. Loved ones I fucking cherish man. The most precious people to me are my mom, my sis, and my best friends. Holy shit what I'd do for them is crazy.
7] Refer to the quote in 6] for a direct family. For a kinda chosen family, it's the same as loved ones in 6].
8] I take my friends for granted sometimes. I'm sometimes blind to those who are trying to help and instead look towards who I want to help. I take for granted kindness in the world. I take for granted all the things I have or have access to.
9] I really don't know the answer to this. A lot of people have the same kind of feelings as I do but I don't know with what/who it is the most similar. A lot of kids had bad childhoods and weren't the most well off. A lot of kids have had suicidal thoughts and some even tried to do it. A lot of kids have wanted to start fresh in a brand new place, but a lot of kids also can't let go. A lot of people want to be recognized and a lot of kids take for granted those who recognize them. Etc.
10] I think I change between them. Like usually I live in the future since that's my only drive, but sometimes I don't see any clear motivation and live in the present, but sometimes I live in the past and wish things could have gone differently, especially since so many people have the wrong idea of me now. I wish I coulda been a nicer guy earlier, but it can't be done. I'm confusing sorry :o
11] I love being around good friends who actually care about my well-being. I love being with my family. I love helping people out for the most part. I volunteered a lot in high school, and a lot of it was already more than enough to meet any criteria for membership and etc. I love games and shit like that lol. What I love about life is that it is ever changing and ever evolving, striving towards perfection. I love that everybody sees things differently and I love that despite that people have the capacity to come together. It amazes me that when some shit is bad, people rise up together in masses to fight against it. Like of course everything is bad to somebody, but it still shows that people fight for what they believe in. And that's just awesome.
12] I don't know what I need in my life. Besides basic necessities, I need my family and friends. Other than that I don't know.
13] I admire people who are genuinely so caring it amazes and attracts others. I look up to people who just have the fucking innate ability to bring people together. It so jaw-dropping when people just have that power. I admire people who are selfless and try to help others. I enjoy kindness and courage. I like seeing someone who just tries to be their best.
14] I don't know. I desire what every teenage male desires. I desire the realization of my future goal. I desire to find myself and to know exactly what my purpose is. Everybody has a purpose, regardless of its stature. I want to know mine. I honestly used to think my purpose on earth was to be punished, but then I grew up. If that was indeed my purpose, I'll do all I can to change my purpose. I desire friendship, companionship, love, family. Etc.
Of course some of the answers created conflict. They contradict sometimes and don't make sense. But I answered everything honestly lol. I'm a confusing person at this point in my life. But I think I know what I want for the most part, but Idk how to get there lol. I don't know what I'm conflicted about internally tbh. I just feel misunderstood by most, and I just want to prove them wrong. Idk man.
"Same guy here. You are the type of guy that's cold to others if you don't like them. You need to drop your ego a little. There are so many people who are less fortunate than you. And what do you do for them? Complain? Look down on them? Maybe that's not true but that's the front you have put up. I haven't seen you in a minute but I always thought you would be a fucking cool dude if you only were a little more understanding and empathetic. Post this full message for your readers to reference. Same guy. I'll be back with follow up to your follow up. So I'll msg you my tag immediately after messages i send you so you can recognize me: "- x one"":
Okay - x one, here goes. You're absolutely right. I have a kind of front that's up at almost all times, and I usually don't even realize it. And of course there are many people who have it worse off than I do. I mean I volunteered a lot. I donate what I can. By no means do I complain about them or look down on them...why would I do that. That solves nothing lol. In Austin, if I had anything to give, I'd give it. I'm already in debt so no way would I give anything more than change to a stranger. But I give change if I have it. I give my leftovers when asked, and I have been asked three times so far and gave it up all three times. If I could I'd give everyone what they need. If I was rich, I'd donate to the homeless who got there unwillingly. Those who are there due to stupid choices should stay there and work their way out through hard work and dedication. But poverty happens to a lot of people who couldn't have seen it coming, and they deserve another chance. You know what if a future doctor is too poor to afford education much less a bed to sleep in. And Idk what you mean by you haven't seen me in a minute :o But thank you so much, it really does mean a lot. I'll try to be more understanding of others and try to feel what they feel. Thanks - x one.
"Who do you consider a true friend? Link their Tumblrs if they have one?":
Uhh well, Idk my true friends in total. I'm still conflicted on who's real and who's fake. BUT I do know that (I'm not naming names or tumblrs sorry, but maybe you'll know them by initials) I have a handful of really good friends. I think only two of them still use tumblr. Anyway, VM, TD, TD, AR, AP are the ones I'm pretty close to. I know some people like PM, JG, and KD are good friends too, but I'm not that close to them. Anyway I really appreciate VM, TD, TD, and AR. I know the former three are best friends and Idk if the latter considers it mutual. Anyway I learned VM was a best friend in his drunken moment of bromance lol. It was funny and when he was sober he confirmed. I was glad because he's a really cool guy that I already considered a ridiculously good friend. TD has already been my best friend for a while and there's not much to say besides the fact that I love them too. They're there for me and it's amazing. TD (sorry there's two TDs xD) is also another person I can say anything to. I can talk to them about anything and it's really obvious they care. I love them too. AR has been a good friend for all of time haha. I love their parents because they're also genuine and nice and caring. AR is a cool person forreal, and I can talk to them about whatever also lol. Most of this happened kinda recent in my life and I'm so appreciative of you guys. I'm a lot happier after typing this up haha. Thanks guys and anon. :D
"it's vicky again. how do you not remember me...we literally fucked the entire second semester cause taylor wouldn't do shit with you.":
I'm 99% sure you have this shit wrong or are fake. I was almost ALWAYS with Taylor and it's impossible for me to be in two places at one time. The other times I wasn't with her, I was studying, doing VSA stuff, or in my dorm, where my roomie usually was anyway. TELL ME HOW ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN THE ENTIRE SECOND SEMESTER. FORREAL. And Taylor and I would do stuff lol. Where did you get the impression that she wouldn't? Cause that's already wrong. Look whatever you're trying to do here, stop. It's not working because it's already pretty much impossible to believe your story because of all the incorrect points or impossibilities. Look I love Taylor even to this day, and I still don't know a Vicky. If you're wondering about the 1% left, it is because maybe you kidnapped me constantly and I just never knew cause I was unconscious or something lol. Which is still also highly unlikely. Whatever you're doing please stop, because it is neither true or entertaining. Thanks.
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