By robbing me of my confidence, you have robbed me of my Being.
You care about my well-being only in a version that also satisfies your āneedā to have me.
You say you care about me, but strip me of me.
The thing about a ācatchā is that you still have to catch it! If you drop it, the runner can advance the bases.
If a relationship is like a plant, itās trust in the process that allows growth. Your too concerned with making it APPEAR the way youāve envisioned in YOUR dream.
The beauty of life is that we get to make choices and express free will; youāve denied me this while Iāve guaranteed such a right on your behalf.
I wish I could choose you, but it turns out it isnāt up to me at all for my choices are underinformed, misleading or result only from manipulated circumstance.
Only if I know whatās real can I follow the appropriate, educated path. MY path, The Way.
You offered to step hard left and get out of your way ... but then you widened your stance and blocked the entire road, hallway and / or journey itself ... youāve stolen my call to adventure.
My hero remains in the ordinary world because heās been tricked into closing his eyes. Now open, he can no longer return to the ordinary world. Knowing means he can never return.
Iām sorry you lack this control. To me, a half lie, is still a lie (although Iām not sure you can see the difference).
I just canāt stop asking myself: WHY?
I donāt appreciate that my life feels so monitored. Iāve never given distrust such a long trial period, for that much at least, feel proud.
But itās not for me. Jealous liars are not my type. I find said cowardice unattractive.
I am envious of one thing though ... how nice you were able to eliminate poisonous what-ifās from your journey. Iām regretful that to do so you helped create all of mine.
I canāt send this. What a waste of typing.
theartofmadeline