Eli Rhodes @daretodreambig-orgohomee - Tumblr Blog

TAGGING: → Eli & Charlie

TIME FRAME: → Afternoon (2:30pm-ish)

LOCATION: → Eli's/Charlie's

GENERAL NOTES: → Cause I felt like this had to be a para ;)

Charlie:

Eyelashes fluttering open, Charlie stared mindlessly at her pillow. the white fabric of the pillowcase glaring back at her in the day’s light. It was only her third or fourth day in the new house by herself but already she was as comfortable as if she’d lived there her entire life. Breathing in deeply she rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She had slept in late again. That much was a given. The late shift at work the night before had been a last minute call and she’d already been at University for eight straight hours. Exhausted didn’t even cover how she felt when she’d finally rolled into bed. She cold tell without having to see her reflection that she was a mess. She hadn’t changed out of what she’d been working in before nodding off, never mind removing the make-up. Seeing her face in a mirror right then would only make her feel horrible so she stayed where she was. It was Sunday fortunately, so she could afford to not move from the warm depths of her bedcovers. She lay there for what felt like an hour but in reality was more of ten minutes, before dragging her sluggish body up and standing. Still avoiding the mirrors she located her make-up bag and snagged her wipes out of it. She scrubbed her skin practically red raw in the hopes she had removed every speck of the materials. When she’d disposed of it, Charlie made a quick change into sweats and one of her old cotton sweaters, not even bothering to put anything underneath even though it was almost see-through. She was alone, it wouldn’t matter. It wasn’t like her day was going to involve other human contact. She reluctantly left the warmth and safety net of her room and made her way toward the kitchen. After peering into the fridge she sighed and just grabbed a can of Coke. After all, it had worked that day in Disney World, to wake her up, maybe it would do so here too. Popping the top she sipped on it as she mentally ticked off the list of crap she had to do around the house. After deciding there was nothing with an immediate deadline she sighed, wondering what to do with herself for the day. There was her guitar in the hall, but something didn’t feel ready for song-writing just then. Or for getting her Uni work started. As her mind contemplated daytime tv, she realized just how dark it had gotten. Her brown eyes scanned toward the window just as a bang as loud as a gunshot went off. Heart racing she calmed herself, it was just thunder. Great, now not only was there nothing to do in the house, there was no chance of her leaving it either. Charlie passed by the window just as it began to show the speckled pattern of heavy raindrops. Within seconds it became a downpour that was turning everything outside into a sodden mess. A chill ran up her spine as she walked through the room. As a flash of lightning pierced the sky, Cub came running at her from nowhere. The little tabby kitten was scared out of his wits. Coo-ing at him she picked the little guy up, cradling him in her arms. Poor thing was shivering. Nuzzling her chin against his fur she found herself picking up her song journal and guitar simultaneously, along with her phone and walking through the unfurnished spare room. Up the spiral staircase lay her favourite spot in the whole house. It was an extra bedroom but was so tiny and cramped in it’s little attic space that there wasn’t much of a chance of anyone being able to comfortably stay there for a prolonged period of time. Charlie had taken the liberty of turning the place into her own little sanctuary. She’d laid a kingsize mattress on the floor and covered it with the softest bedcovers and blankets she owned. she’d hung a dream-catcher and some fairy lights, a bunch of assorted bits and bobs, lined up her favourite photographs on the wall. It was a small space where she could escape the world for a while. Laying Cub amidst some of the cushions safely, she deposited her guitar and notebook too, before turning the the tv screen she’d fixed into a little cubby hole especially fitted. Turning it on she closed the door and pulled down the blind not too far but enough so that it blocked the majority of the window. She could see the raindrops running down the end of the glass and was transfixed for a moment or two. There was something oddly comforting to her about the rain. Even though it made the place cold and wet it seemed to have a hold over Charlie. Snapping back to the here and now she popped a DVD into the system and snuggled up inside the covers. It was a day for this kind of laziness if ever. “Looks like we’re couped up here for now Cub.” she mumbled to the cat, who just looked up at her quizzically before propping his head back down on the pillow and dozing off. Rolling her eyes with a grin she pressed play on the remote. Donnie Darko, appropriate for the weather outside. As it played out on the screen she found herself being lulled into a train of thought that had nothing to do with the movie, or the weather. But a somebody. Charlie had reached the point in her life where she was happy. Where she had finally come to terms with who she was and where she wanted to go. And in all of this lay the recovery from the person she had one been. That person back in Texas who had been lost and insecure and trying to claw their way out of the black hole that had surrounded her. She had never thought, in all her years, that there would be a time and a place in which she was content in herself so much so, that she would be in a stable place to have feelings for someone. For so long she had hated who she was, thought other people hated her. Was so worked up in her mind that everything good in her life was pushed away. Now sitting here in her own home her thoughts were turning to the reality that was haunting her. She had begun to find herself falling for a guy. The thing was, she was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of how she would deal with her feelings. Scared that even if there was something there between them, something mutual. That she would fuck it up. That he would end up hating her and it would ruin not only the something, but the entire friendship they had built too. But that was the thing. They had a friendship right now. And Charlie was damned if she didn’t think that was all he felt for her. After all, what had she to offer that other women didn’t. She was inexperienced to put it plainly. She had had previous relationships of course, but they had been during that crazy period of her life. They had left her with scars and wounds she didn’t think she could handle opening again. There was two sides to her attraction to this somebody. On the one hand, she was crazy about him. There were times when she couldn’t help but think what his lips against hers would feel like, she wanted to feel his heartbeat beneath her fingers, look into his eyes and know she was safe, feel her fingers run through his hair, how his hand would feel in hers, she wanted to trace his collarbone with her thumb and feel the scratch of his stubble on her cheek, she wanted to be close to him and want him to want her the same way. And then there was the fear and the doubts. She couldn’t imagine being intimate with him, not yet at any rate. Not hen she thought he didn’t think of her. Even if he did it scared her. She’d been left empty and feeling disgusted with herself before. Who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again. She had changed over the years yes, but the thought of his hand near her stomach or such places wanted her to recoil with pain. Not because she didn’t want him to, but because she feared his disgust, him being put off by hat he felt. Weight issues were her past and yet they haunted her present. She didn’t want him to find her disgusting. She didn’t want to relapse into those experiences where guys had made her feel like she was nothing. She just didn’t know if she was ready for rejection. Especially from him. As her thoughts faltered, Charlie realized there were tears running down her cheeks. Wiping them away with the back of her hand she looked down at the phone where the source of her sudden zone out was. Her eyes scanned the photo of him. His dark mess of hair, those eyes that almost killed her every time they found hers, the cheeky grin that was so infectious, the smooth line of his jaw as he looked at the camera. it had been an impromptu photograph. She had taken it the night they had all gotten more or less drunk in Disney World. She couldn’t remember most of the stuff everyone had done that night, which meant it had been a pretty good one overall. Closing the screen down she dropped the phone by her side and lay back on the pillow. Even with her doubts she couldn’t help but know that she was falling for him.And it could only mean trouble, and more than likely heartache. Someone like him had o interest in her. He was charming and witty, he was one of a kind. She was an everyday, blend in the background kind of girl, messed up and crazy in her mind, nothing special on the outside. Who was she to think there was anything there. It didn’t stop her from thinking about him though. Rolling onto her side she curled up in the fetal position and hugged her stomach, pressing down against it as if in attempt to flatten it out.Her eyes watched the rain fall outside, pattering against the roof and leaving the window a blurred mess. She could feel the tears run down her cheek once more, but was too tired to care. Eventually the rain and her crying lulled her into sleep once again.

Eli:

Eli had been fast asleep, passed out from the previous night's activities, when his stomach turned violently. Jumping to his feet, he scrambled out of bed and made a run for the bathroom, stumbling woozily on his way there. He'd barely made it to the toilet in time, throwing up the lid and emptying his stomach a second later. Trying his best not to inhale the alcohol that now permeated the air, Eli fell against the wall with a groan, shivering as naked flesh fell against the cold tile floor. Bringing his knees up to his chest, hazel orbs darted to the window. It was still dark out, perhaps early morning. At that moment he couldn't care less, the throbbing in his head was blinding, and his stomach churned as his blurred vision warped the room. Eli tried to remember what happened the night before but only groaned out, bringing his fingers roughly through his curls, desperately wanting a way to ebb the pain in his head. It wouldn't be long before he blacked out once more.

A tapping on his foot woke him up, eyelids half-lidded as he shielded his eyes from the sunlight seeping through the window. He barely made out the half-dressed blonde's words (Candace, Michelle, Ashley? Who the fuck knew!), simply nodding in response as he watched her finish getting dressed and slip out his front door. Eli had begun to slowly driff off again, but shook himself out of it with a moan, shakily pulling himself to his feet. He managed to balance on the sink, reaching to crank on the faucet only to stop short. Hazel orbs focused on his butchered forearms, trailing up the dried blood, soaked club wristband, and raw cuts into his bronzed skin. What the hell had happened last night? He'd been in such a rush to get to the bathroom he hadn't noticed the wounds, or the crimson smears that probably littered his bed. Biting down hard on his lip to keep from whimpering, he washed and cleaned each one gently, knees shaking with each agonized graze of the cloth.

After patching up his arms with gauze, Eli made his way to the kitchen, covering the bandage lightly with saran rap and taping the edges. If he was going to rid the stench of alcohol off his body, he'd need to keep the still throbbing cuts dry. They were almost as bad as the first time he'd cut out for attention and wound up hospitalized, his stomach churning angrily at the memory. He cranked on the shower, leaning back on the wall to keep his knees from caving beneath him. For a few minutes he stood in silence, staring at the ceiling as it slowly disappeared within the steam and mist, lost in his hung over haze. When it became hard to breath from the humidity, Eli pulled himself into the shower, wincing at the scalding water before he managed to flick the knobs with a groan. His morning was going just splendidly, and it was just what he needed to start his Sunday. Hung over, wounded, and easily able to pass out at any given time.

"Fuck you, Rhodes." His voice croaked out, a shaking arm reaching for the body wash. "What did you get into last night?"

As he washed up, he raked his mind for any memories of last night. He'd done a gig, and remembered chatting up the blonde (the name Paige ringing a bell now) that did the walk of shame a few minutes earlier. They'd gone out to dance and drink, if the snapped wristband left abandoned on his sink had anything to do with it, which he had no doubt it did. From there his memories became fuzzy. He remembered the blonde offering him some pill, and caught in the moment and the music, he'd taken it without question. His stomach churned, guilt creeping up with the bile that rose in his throat, a flash of a certain brunette in his mind. Had he slept with that Paige girl? He couldn't have, and deep down, he prayed he hadn't. Eli wouldn't be able to forgive himself, and all his chances would be shot.

As he got dressed, his eyes flew to the windows once again. Storm clouds were rolling in, and seemed to echo his mood. Even more memories came flooding back from the previous night, and it caused him to whimper out, tugging at his curls in frustration. He hadn't slept with blondie, and only now remembered why. Whatever she'd given him, it hadn't been bad at first. The trip was different, it felt good, and for a while the night seemed to have improved. They had made their way back to his place, making their way to the bed and starting with simple groping and grinding. Somewhere in the sloppy drunken kisses and slurred dirty talk, Eli's high had worn off, his mind racing the minute whatever drug the girl had given him began to leave his system. He didn't remember all of what happened next, vaguely remembering screaming at the girl to leave, only to lock himself inside the bathroom. The same room where he'd be left alone, lost in self loathing thoughts and a razor blade.

Even high and drunk off his ass, his mind still came crashing back to her, and it was terrifying.

He was sick and tired of getting himself into these scenarios Eli had nothing but bad luck with girls in New York as it was, each one leaving his heart battered and bruised. With Blair, he hadn't been good enough, and with Alex, he'd ran because she was too good for him. His damn self loathing was tearing away at him, little by little, and ruining any chance of him ever being happy. The truth be told, when he'd made those cuts last night, those were the very thoughts running through his head. How could anyone really love him anyways? He was nothing but a damn musician with only a High School diploma. Sure, he and Xan were working together, but he still had nothing to show for his life. For Christ's sake, he still was partying and picking up chicks. Simply put: he'd become his mother. Nothing but a low life, alcohol drinking (and now pill popping) whore.

And why would anyone want to stick around to be with that? Who'd be strong enough to put their foot down, and do everything they could to get him to change? To keep him steady and not waiver again? No one wanted someone who was damaged and broken. Even he knew that. So why was he thinking about throwing everything out on the line once more, when he knew deep down it would end the same way it always did. Wasn't the definition of insanity repeating the same actions and expecting a different result? So why was this girl different? What was it about her that made him want to throw in the towel, despite the risks and fear?

It was the simple things. The way she'd get excited whenever they talked for hours, and the small raise in her voice as she said his name. It was the late night texts, always with a hint of flirtation among the sweetness that made him feel like he was the only guy on the entire planet. The way that when the two were together, it seemed all that mattered to her in the world at that exact moment was them. She never judged him on anything, and never once tried to mold him into something she wanted, but he truly never could be. She was special, a sweet little naive thing with a heart of gold, and not a single mean bone in her entire body. So why, with all the odds stacked in his favor, did he falter? What did he have to lose?

The answer: everything. They'd become friends, and he cared about her more than he ever thought he would. She made him smile simply by being there: the mere thought of her enough to put a goofy grin on his face and send shivers up and down his spine. Losing that bond over unreciprocated feelings wasn't worth the risk. Eli could be reading too much into things, raising hope high that only would come crashing down and shatter him. He wanted her to feel the same, god did he ever, and it petrified him. Sure, he'd wanted other girls to return his feelings mutually, but never as strong as this. If she didn't, and he threw his heart out there only to get it stomped on again, he'd feel like an idiot. There was something there, and he knew it, but what if he was wrong? After all, he didn't have the best track record.

A roar of thunder, and a flash of lighting pulled him from his thoughts. Eli jumped as he cursed out under his breath. He found himself shaking, sniffing as he wiped his teary eyes with an angry groan, the echo of rain on the roof falling in time with his pulse. Right then, he made a promise to himself. If he could make himself not care, to not feel those rush of emotions, he'd push the feelings aside and still be there for her. They'd be friends like always, and things would stay as they are. It was entirely possible, wasn't it? There was only one way to find out. Reluctantly he pulled out his phone, flipping through his pictures until he stopped at his favorite.

It was from the Disneyland trip, a few mornings into their stay. He'd passed out next to her while watching tv for the third time, and woke the next morning drowsy and comfortable. Opening his eyes, he couldn't help but smile sleepily at the girl beside him: dark hair fanned out around her face, lips parted slightly as her breathing came slow and steady, cheeks rosy from sleep and warmth. To him, there was nothing more beautiful, and he'd only stopped his admiration when she woke, reaching over to the end table and slipping on her glasses. He could still hear her voice in his head, giggling as she murmured low, as to not wake any of the others in the room: "Seriously? Uggg, Charming! Get off my bed and away with that thing! It's too early for anything!" He'd snapped the picture, only to have to struggle to keep the phone from the squirming girl's grasp. And there it was, that stupid grin returned to his face as if on cue. Who was he trying to kid?

So there he was, trudging through the rain as he made his way through the city. He had to see her, and hoped she wouldn't be mad at him for dropping in without notice. Eli desperately had to try in person one last time to rid himself of those stupid school-boy emotions. Doing that would spare him heartache and pain. He needed to be able to look her in those dark, entrapping eyes and not feel instantly weightless. He pulled his jacket closer to his body, twirling the umbrella a bit as he nibbled on his lip. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than to greet her like any other person, and feel completely calm around her. That, however, was something he knew he'd never be able to do. Eli was in too deep, and he knew it.

He knew it the moment her place came into view, and his pulse skyrocketed. Eli's mood instantly lifting at just a glimpse of where she'd be. The few steps up to the door were nothing, and he found himself hopping up onto her deck and avoiding them completely. His fingers shook as he reached out and rung the door bell, stomach churning as anticipation welled up inside him. What if she wasn't home? Worse yet, what if she was? What had he come all this way just to say? At the moment his mind was wiped blank as the door creaked open, Eli's voice coming out shaky despite the smile plastered on his face.

"Hey Princess, don't mind if I stopped by, do you?"

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