The Ruiner of Days

"If You're Going To Be Horny, Do It Right" ~ Jobbert of Hong

[darth-nuts]

PSA:

this is a nsfw side blog!

I made this to ramble about my more lurid headcanons and fic ideas.

if you’re under 18 and/or sexual content makes you uncomfortable, please leave.

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Narinder with his fat old man cock or Eigong with a Rhizomatic charged strap-on, who’s topping?

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Jei and Miyamoto Usagi from Usagi Yojimbo would be having the sloppiest gay love seggs imaginable if they weren’t always trying to kill each other.

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Narilamb is so oversaturated and toxic it made me like cuckoldry

Because The Lamb is a little shit who deserves an eternity bitchlessness

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Bara dad bod Fox slamming 19 inches of eldritch schlong into femboy twink Narinder’s tight ass.

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i want to go back to when the worst fetish i knew was feet sniffing

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When the pint sized alcoholic nerd says you can’t give the Sol of Balance extra funding just because she has a nice ass:

Screw the rules, he has jin

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If Goumang was a dude, he’d look exactly the same except:

His voice would be a single octave lower

He’d have an extra section on the front of his dress to cover his massive GouDONG

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Yi has a micro dick

source: trust me bro

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The Feng rizz varies between genders

Nuwa wooing Goumang: “Oh how radiant thou art, raven haired angel of the forgotten peaks of Yumin. How sharp in mind and strong in body. Allow me to embrace you once more my beloved, let us off cast our garments and make sweet passionate love, here and now!”

Fuxi wooing Ji: “I want to gargle your immortal balls like fucking mouthwash”

[incompetentmedic]

Too much porn of post-game normal sized narinder not enough porn of giant narinder

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I. NEED HIM. BIG. AND. DOMINATING.

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I got a new ship:

VECTILVERFINITE

You get an overconfident himbo, a cutesy yet masochistic twink, and a diva who is an unrepentant slut.

why did i make this ship?

Because a guy I commissioned to make Infinilver porn added Vector jerking it in the corner as a bonus.

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This is why Himuro wasn’t in Season 5:

Helping his fiancée relax.

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Narinder: Oh no! Indoctrinated into the Cult of my traitorous vessel and stripped of my godhood! I sure hope they don’t take advantage of my newfound weakness and 1,000 years of unfulfilled sexual desires to make me their bitch!

The Lamb:

Narinder: I SAID-

The Lamb: I’m sorry babe, this just seems wrong.

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The Bishops joined the cult immediately because they’re good sports and have nothing to gain from rebelling.

Narinder joined the cult immediately because he’s a horny little slut with severe sadomasochism and hasn’t jorked it in 1,000 years. Marrying his usurper? How kinky

Getting bred all night long? Only if he gets to name the shittens

Having The Lamb’s other spouses take turns railing him public? As long there’s no bondage and everyone respects the safe word

HE’S INTO THIS SHIT

and also actually loving The Lamb.

[darth-nuts]

Despite both of them being incredibly competent in their respective fields, Himuro and Jiro would be disasters when they get in bed with each other.

Jiro would be overthinking everything, getting worried if he’s either too rough or too weak, while Himuro just goes feral because this the first time he’s been fucked by someone who actually treats like a person and not an over glorified fleshlight.