Shart City

I post sometimes (it's true)

[darthplagueknightthewise]

anyways *dematerializes*

[darthplagueknightthewise]

unemployed people really do just start playing mario 64 huh

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

i wish i knew how to make a fire emblem bc... game ideasce. waugh.

brief summary: emotionally detached lesbian leader of a mercenary group saves a sweet peppy manakete woman (who does look like shes 20 and not 11) and ends up getting hauled into her adopted unadopted father's capitalistic quest to conquer all the (lycian alliance like) other nations on his continent. manakete woman is like hey um this is fucked up why are you lostening to this guy and the leader is like well i have mysterious reasons. they do a few war crimes before they realize Why : evil cult of guys who wanna revive a fell dragon are working in the distant Hugeass Empire to do just that and need manaketes to do this... but they scared them all off by existing so theyre trying to bribe people to do it. the warring alliance are too busy at war to do that, the nation of knockoff laguz are too busy giving a shit about other shapeshifters, and the other less defined nations dont have the manpower to capture a fuckimg dragon. the merc leader realizes this and as she has become a little gay but mostly besties w her manakete friend, she begins working against her father unfather to stop this shit from happening. she unconquers the other nations in the alliance but given she and her band defeated and killed the leaders of the nations they have no leader and given her band is now the strongest... people just start following the merc leader anyway. it helps that most of the leaders of the allied nations were assholes making the commonfolk do battle for their personal gain, and the merc leader does her own battling. merc leader lesbian is crowned the first queen of this new united kingdom (against her will) and is bullied into marrying Someone bc thats how royalty works and she chooses someone from her merc band Of Course.

20 year timeskip.

the new nation has become a safe haven for manaketes and all sorts of outcasts as Her Gay Highness has worked tirelessly to make sure the people who made her queen dont regret it because she has thinly veiled anxiety issues about her worth as a person. thanks guy (the lord who made her conquer in the first place) who adopted this war orphan from the streets and then unadopted her when his wife finally bore him a child. oh speaking of children given its been 20 years, characters who youve paired can have kids. but you gotta pair em before the timeskip, and only two characters always have a kid and thats the merc leader and the manakete girl best friend (gay). hey remember that huge fuckoff empire to the east? Yeah theyve launched a fullscale war against the laguz nation to just force them to hand over any manaketes after the evil cult installed a 14 year old puppet emperor. the laguz nation goes Ah Fuck Ah Shit Ah Fuck and asks their good buddies the combined kingdom to help them which they Do. but by the time they get there, the losses are extreme and the king of the laguz nation is dying. the ex merc leader helps his successor into her role and the two women go "oh yeah we're going to fucking destroy the evil empire" and then they do. The war is hard and sucks but eventually they fight their way to the evil cult. a few things happen : 1 the manakete who the ex merc leader has been besties with for 20 years is the DAUGHTER of the fell dragon the cult is trying to resurrect. the merc leader freaks out, and because of her trauma about people she loved abandoning her, kicks the manakete woman out of the band and Also Take Your Damn Kid. and your spouse unless the spouse is the merc leader in which case a truly heartwrenching cutscene plays. 2 : the cult members immediately find snd capture the manakete woman and are preparing to kill her kid and use the blood of the fell dragon to revive it. the merc leader hears about this and decides the final battle has to start Now to save them because holy shit that was a mistake obviously theyre not working together. 3 : yknow who WAS working w the cult? all the nobles who hate the merc leaders unnoble blood. so the cult know theyre there. whoops. they fight the cult but just barely lose, and fhe manakete woman's kid is Slain. the fell dragon rises, not bc of the blood, but bc the fell dragons only daughter got So Pissed. turns out the fell dragon isnt actually that cruel, not in life anyway, but given how he was revived by anger snd not by true love he comes back Wrong and the cult descend on him and tear him apart and eat his flesh & use his bones as weapons. oh they dont worship him they want to use him to kill all shapeshifters and anyone who works against them forever. they can, however, use this pissed off manakete by casting a spell on her and having her fight her former friends. Huge fuckoff battle. It ends w the lesbian merc leader slaying the leader of the cult and, agonizingly, the friend she saved forever ago. the manakete returns to normal once the mortal blow is dealt, and thanks the mercenary leader for saving her once again, and begs her to remain a peaceful and kind leader for the rest of her life. she dies. the merc leader is Only Anguish. the world is saved at what cost?

epilogue : the merc leader rules until she dies, ensuring that the still-combined nations of the west, the newly managed empire of the east, and the reconstructed laguz kingdom to the south are all on good terms and recovering well from the war. manaketes establish their own nation after being given land from each nation where they meet to own for themselves. the leader of it is revealed to be the manakete bestie's other child she had borne RIGHT before the war began who she had only implied existed in her supports w her eldest child and a few others. merc leader leaves behind a vast and tumultuous legacy, but her child rises to keep her ideals alive and make sure nobody can accuse her of having no worth. she chose peace and love and thats what is important at the end of the day.

various paired endings. if the merc leader and manakete bestie got married (the canon route but w/e), the merc leader never remarried and vowed to see her wife in anime chess heaven. its very gay. end credits.

oh i forgot to mention. there is an avatar character who can marry anyone who likes that gender as every character now has a canon sexuality. the avatar character is the m/cs childhood friend who does nothing in the story but is Kind Of Cool. goodnight

👀 love the concept

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Fire Emblem needs to add a girl named Yaoi that is hopping between worlds Anna style to find Yuri so they can fight to the death which bisexual has the better name

.

[darthplagueknightthewise]

Yuri Leclerc seeing Yaoi Leclair coming to fucking kill him

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I don't get the hate towards fire emblem warriors. Like for real it is one of the best feeling licensed warriors games out there. It's a shame that there's not more game diversity in the roster but let's be fr, if every game got time in the spotlight every game would suffer for it.

Plus there'd be way less class diversity lol.

There's very little ground between having all the characters, having them be unique, and having good class diversity. most characters with major story clout are lords or mages.

.

[darthplagueknightthewise]

FEW is the best warriors game by far. Class diversity is like... as fine as it could be, but I need to remind you that both FEW games have like 6 or 7 different infantry sword playstyles which is insane

[darthplagueknightthewise]

love is in the air? wrong, kita-aura

[darthplagueknightthewise]

[darthplagueknightthewise]

love is in the air? wrong, kita-aura

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

It's like. An actual crime that Three Houses repeats as many maps as it does. Like already the map design is very straight forward with not a lot of fun challenges for players to work around like other games, but the fact that the final maps of each route are reused in other parts of the game for 3/4 of them drives me mad. This is the final boss map don't you want it to be a little unique and iconic?!

.

[darthplagueknightthewise]

golden deer stay winning tbh

[darthplagueknightthewise]

been using project mirai to listen to music lately and my favorite feature is that sometimes the music goes quiet to let me know that luka is blowing it at darts again

[darthplagueknightthewise]

one time my professor showed a jerma clip in class and that's probably the moment I realized I was wasting time at college

[darthplagueknightthewise]

demon

[darthplagueknightthewise]

one time my professor showed a jerma clip in class and that's probably the moment I realized I was wasting time at college

[darthplagueknightthewise]

this water tastes like shit, should I keep drinking?

[darthplagueknightthewise]

the answer was no. I am fine

[darthplagueknightthewise]

seeing an opinion I don't like and ignoring it; honestly so liberating

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

I hate Soren so goddamn much it's unreal. Fandom coddles this bigoted shithead too much for my comfort. "He's so sassy mean gay!" I am punching him in the mouth

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[darthplagueknightthewise]

heartbreaking: anon experiences a nuanced character for the first time

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Rescue as a mechanic is so funny especially for green units. Like you can literally walk up to a complete stranger and throw them over your shoulder and they can't do anything about it. I can rescue jaffar in battle before dawn while he still hates me. I have to imagine he is screaming and thrashing as my cavaliers carry him off

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[darthplagueknightthewise]

this water tastes like shit, should I keep drinking?

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

It kinda bugs me how often the lookism in Fire Emblem is overlooked. Fire Emblem always makes minor and unsympathetic bosses hideously ugly.

Its to the point where I can recognize any antagonist that is attractive with anime eyes will get a tragic backstory, show redeeming qualities, or be possessed/brainwashed, usually by someone ugly, EX: Eremiya, Aversa, Berkut.

Also its annoying how whenever this is brought up, there's always one person that says "Fire Emblem does not equate evil equals ugly, *insert sympathetic and tragic villain* is beautiful", as if that disapproves anything.

!!!

[darthplagueknightthewise]

how can you make a post like this and not bring up Oliver once