Seven Ways to be Sure You are Making the Right Relationship Decisions
When you are in a relationship, there will be a lot of decisions to make. Some of them are mundane and trivial, and others are more important. For example, it is one thing deciding where to meet. But things like deciding to move in together, to have children, how often to be intimate, etc., are all major things you and your partner will decide on.
How you and your partner navigate the major milestones in your relationship and the decisions surrounding them will largely determine your future. Key decisions should be intentional and not based on pure inertia.
Here are some ways to make strong decisions together:
If you want to make strong decisions with your partner, you must understand that shutting them out is never the way to go. Besides the obvious results you would prefer, what other options are there? What is the outcome they want to achieve compared to yours? It would be best if you never said ‘no’ to their side of the issue and instead worked out a reasonable middle ground. This is a sustainable way of moving forward in the long run.
Do not hide your feelings
When you are going through the decision-making process with your spouse, it is important to communicate your feelings. If you don’t speak up when something bothers you, resentment will build up inside you. Even worse, if your decision doesn’t meet your needs, you will not be able to progress forward easily.
Carefully discuss the pros and cons
It is strange how spouses don’t always approach the decision-making process from the most basic angle – examining the pros and cons. With your spouse, you should examine all sides of your decision. Perhaps you will find out what you initially thought to be an objectively bad idea and instead find a better solution.
Consider any long-term effects
If a decision does not matter that much shortly, then perhaps you don’t need to pay so much attention to it. But if the decision will affect you in the coming years, you must keep things in perspective.
What are the ways to compromise?
More often than not, you will have to compromise to some extent. That is not necessarily bad, especially since it allows you to create win-win situations for you and your partner. Of course, this mostly works when there is no or very little harm in the desired outcome. When both of you are willing to compromise, the harmony in your relationship will be best preserved.
Consult your gut feelings
When you and your spouse approach opportunities for decision-making, don’t forget to consult with your gut feelings. If you feel anxiety or apprehension about a certain idea, examine it and ask questions to gain better clarity. Perhaps your partner can calm those negative feelings if you share them with them.
Work on a genuine agreement – finally, always work together to reach a genuine agreement. One that both parties are comfortable with, regardless of the compromises made. Avoid manipulation, ultimatums, coercion or other methods that don’t strengthen your relationship but give you what you want. Taking decisions as a team is the only sure way to maintain a good relationship over time.
These are all valid ways to make good decisions in your relationship. Employ the strategies and tips outlined here and find yourself and your partner in a better place.
© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach
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