The past month has been huge for me. It was a roller coaster of emotions, but I came out on top and I feel better than I have in a long time. I did a lot of things I've never done before. Some were great, others not so much. But I put myself out there and I did them. I think that's very important. I no longer have to wonder how I'd react to those things now because I have done them.
Trying new things is great way to expand as a person. I used to say I was open to things, but nothing new ever happened. I just kind of stayed in my comfort zone. But I have promised myself to not do that anymore and it makes such a big difference. October is my favorite and busiest month of the year. I love anything Halloween/horror related, and my paranormal team usually has at least one big public investigation to plan for. However, it also brought back a lot of painful memories (thanks, Timehop!), so I knew it was going to be a bumpy month to say the least.
But I also wasn't going to just lie around depressed. This was my time and dammit I was going to make the best of it. It started with a solo trip to another country. I had a list of things I wanted to do that I haven't before, and pretty much checked everything off my list. Some of them were a bit nerve racking, but I pushed myself to follow through. And I'm so glad I did. I had an absolute blast learning about myself. Some of things I probably won't do again, but I never would have known that if I didn't try.
When I got back home, I made sure to keep that energy going. Every year my town plays the Rocky Horror Picture Show, where some local actors play out the scenes with the move in the background. The audience is also encouraged to participate by purchasing prop bags and using them at certain parts of the movie. It is always a great time. Since the first time I went 4 years ago, I said I wanted to dress up as Dr. Frank-N-Furter one year, but never had the guts to do it. I'm a tshirt and jeans kinda guy and even though I have a more positive view of myself physically than I used to have, going out in public in essentially drag, was a big challenge for me. But I was determined that this was the year I was going to do it, and basically forced myself not to back out. And it was a huge hit. It was a big confidence booster for me that I even did it, but it felt even better when everyone around me was saying how great a job I did. My friends requested that I wear the same thing for Halloween (pictured above). The Halloween party itself was another challenge for me. I didn't know a lot of people there, but my costume was a great conversation starter and I met a bunch of really cool people. It was one of the best parties I've been to in a very long time.
In addition to all that, I went to not one, but two different haunted houses with some great people. One of the attractions was actually an "extreme" haunt where you need to file waiver agreeing to being touched, kidnapped, restrained, etc. Not being a super touchy person, agreeing to let people do pretty much what they want was definitely out of my comfort zone. But I did it and had a great time. I did get hurt a little, very messy, not really scary, but a very fun experience.
None of these things seem too significant, but like I said in my previous posts, I think it's important to celebrate small victories. October was full of small victories and they have helped me grow and attract the kind of people and experiences I want in my life. Speaking of which, I did meet someone I'm kinda crushing on and we've had some really fun dates so far. I'm looking forward to seeing where it may go. I wouldn't have met her though if I didnt put myself out there and take the risk.
So I guess in short, just don't hold yourself back. If you want to do something, even if you're a little scared or unsure of the outcome, I say go for it. You won't know until you try. And whether it works out the way you want it to or not, you'll learn about yourself and grow so you can better focus your energy. This goes for anything in life. It could be a job, hobby, someone you're interested in, or even something small like checking out a new haunted house or introducing yourself to someone new. Take the plunge, you never know what may come of it and I bet you'll be a better person for it regardless. Turn your thoughts and dreams into reality.
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