Modest Opportunist

Hey everyone, I'm David, 24,in Austin, Texas, studied Economics and Computer Science. I like to think of myself as a relaxed person who enjoys observing and making the most out of things.

[weedporndaily]

(via)

[nbgems-deactivated20151011]

one time my dad gave me a glass of milk and i meant to ask him “who’s milk is this” because i wasnt sure if it was for me or if i was supposed to give it to my brother but instead i just stared down at the milk and said “who’s this”

then my dad turned to me without missing a beat and said “that’s your new friend mr. milk.” and we stared at each other and then he asked me if i was high

to this day i still have not lived it down

[y3]

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

I’m genuinely curious, has anybody ever played through Majora’s Mask and not been stressed out like… the whole time

[blackwingguru]

what part of majora’s mask is stressful? it’s the most beautiful game in the franchise, it fixes or betters every flaw ocarina had, and the story is fun and engaging, where’s the stress?

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

[onlytwitterpics]

[meanplastic]

[weloveshortvideos]

The coolest bumblebee ever.

[fangirltofangod]

omg unmute, it’s so innocent

[mischievous-rabbit]

camera person: “wave” bee: *raises arm* camera person: “yaaaay, what’s up mr. bumblebee?”

[artaline]

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

[alivesmilinggirl]

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*

Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*

Alien: *exasperated sputtering*

[ritavonbees]

Human: shots! shots! shots!

Alien: this liquid has negligible nutritional value and, furthermore, contains some molecules that I believe are poisonous to your species.

Human: …look, sometimes we just like to gather in social groups and disorient ourselves

[alienmeg-blog]

*signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

[nevver]

[wonting]

[snlgifs]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

spilling that tea

[kuroba101]

That last GIF is BREAKING me.

[suprchnk-archive-deactivated202]

i knew t-pain was a genius the first time i heard buy u a drank

[animalrates]

more animals rated here

via @kelli

[happy2bsmiling]

[cosmicrew]

me

[hitrecord]

“Hopes and dreams”