why am I never anybodies first choice

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@dawn-petrich0r
why am I never anybodies first choice
no matter how many years pass or how many times I start over I always end up back in the same spot amounting to absolutely fucking nothing and going no where in life and I never will amount to anything
And, baby, that’s show business for you. New album The Life of a Showgirl. Out October 3 ❤️🔥
https://taylor.lnk.to/TSTheLifeofaShowgirl
Album Producers: Max Martin, Shellback and Taylor Swift 📸: Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott
You belong with me. 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤
Letter on my site :)
I can feel it all slipping away and no one even notices
A shell of the person I used to be and not a single blink of an eye from anyone
I could die right now and nothing would change. Nobody would mourn me. Life would still continue with or without me in it.
No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.
Knowing I’ll never be anybody’s first choice breaks me not even my own pets choose me first
How many times are you supposed to restate your boundaries before you admit to yourself that these people don’t love you or care about you the way you do them?
I wish I was loved
I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow
I thought I had finally surrounded myself with people who were different and truly cared about me but suddenly there I am again in my teenage hood bedroom wondering why I’m nobody’s first choice and why I’m trying so hard to make friends when it doesn’t seem to make a difference whether I’m around or not
I don’t why I bother trying so hard when all I’ve ever end up being is sad and alone anyways
suicidal thoughts always come back no matter how hard i try so why am i even trying?
I hate how one negative human interaction can send me into a full spiral
not pictured: how red and puffy my eyes are and the new forming headache from hours of crying and just having a really bad low while telling everyone i’m okay/good (: