random hellos, late-night talks, and after-school drives felt so mundane and ordinary when I was with you.
"are you together?" was a question people used to ask countless times, and we laughed it off.
we were each other's confidants, yet we never dared to declare ourselves as anything more than good friends. we bickered endlessly, but always found our way back to each other. we laughed, we fought, we made promises to pursue our dreams together, and then, in the blink of an eye, we took each other for granted. my careless words became a painful dagger in your heart, and one day, you were gone.
I journeyed through the depths of grief for an entire year, and when acceptance finally arrived, it still felt like you had left just yesterday.
then, like a camellia finally blooming in the garden, you reappeared in my life. I was happy—ecstatic, even. I thought we could pick up where we left off, that you could become the last piece of my broken puzzle. but no, I guess I lost you for good the moment you decided we were no longer friends the first time. We were the closest of friends before, but now I barely have a hold on you.
the final blow was hearing your happy from others, as if we were nothing more than strangers.
I'm happy for you, truly I am. I hope only good things happen for you from now on. as I look from the outside, I am putting the pieces of myself back together, one at a time. I also pray for my own happiness, someday.
as I write this down on my kitchen counter, I realized I'm not reliving the memories. I'm letting you go.
you were a lesson learned, and I refuse to continue punishing myself.
