Through Misty Eyes | Topher and Vidia
Topher just stood there and took it, though his heart was all but writhing in agony as he saw expression, without her even speaking. It was not fair. It was not fucking fair. They weren’t exclusive, they’d hardly even spent any time together, and he was head over heels for her. To the point where he’d imagined her being at the hospital with him, to make the whole ordeal less awful. But she hadn’t been there when he wasn’t drugged in order for the doctors to do whatever they had done. And she probably just found him another amusement around town. At least she wasn’t sadistic towards him, he had that kindness, though he wasn’t sure why the girl everyone in town called a bitch was showing him any mercy. Just other toy, one who’d take the abuse, if she wanted to hurt him, and come back for more. Just because, for some reason, being around her made all the shit he got worth it, made some part in him sing. He was an idiot. Especially now, with her having shown up here. Salt in the wound. Because his feelings for her were one. A vulnerability that cut deep. Vidia would never care, couldn’t. But some part of him, the part that made him care for her, just kept asking why the hell she was here.
He stood perfectly still as she spoke, eyes on hers, but his were glazed over, dull. Dead. He’d noticed that since he’d come home, the blank, void dark orbs that met his gaze every time he looked in the mirror. But they began to cloud, looking a bit more alive as she spoke, her words only confusing him. She was in the hospital? Told you, the irrational part that told him that it was possible that she cared gloated, making the rest of Topher sick to his stomach. She was gone when he woke up, she couldn’t have been there and just left. That made no sense. She hadn’t been there. It was a lie, it had to be. Hands curled into fists, short nails biting into the palms of his hands as she called him out for not texting, for pitying himself for being a mute. Vidia was right, all of him knew that. He hated pity, more than he hated any other emotion. Yet there he was, stuck in his room for days now. Of course he wouldn’t answer the woman he was positive only kept him around to torment him. He hadn’t answered his roommate and best friend. That was bullshit. He was a piece of shit. And a hypocrite. Now it made sense why she’d shown up. This whole hurt, indignant act was only to twist the dagger that was already in his heart and make a mess out of everything else. To hurt him more. That had to be it, everyone in town couldn’t call her a bitch for nothing.
But then she said three little words that turned everything upside down, that made his doubts, and his voice of reason, fall silent. In fact, everything fell silent, his thoughts, even the sounds of his breathing and his heartbeat seemed to cease.
"I love you."
The quiet didn’t last long. Suddenly every part of his mind raced into overdrive, so many different thoughts trying to reach Topher at once that he was frozen. Petrified was more accurate, as tears flooded his eyes, and he wasn’t in control enough to keep them from spilling down his cheek. He wanted to get down on his knees and beg her to tell him the truth, to stop playing with him and tell her everything he felt, so she just kicked him while he was down and would leave him alone. He wanted to charge at her, to hurt her, physically, for lying to him, for playing with his thoughts and telling him the one thing he wanted most, but could never have, because it would never be what she actually meant. He wanted to kiss her and show her exactly what was going on in his mind, so she felt it and could do whatever she wanted from there. He’d let her. He wanted to throw up, to make the sick feeling go away, so she’d be repulsed and leave him. To scream at her, to get out all his anger and frustration over the fact that she was a liar. But a part of him also wanted to kiss her senseless, to beg her to actually mean those words and never leave him. To serenade her with poetry, song, and anything else he could think of, to show her how much she’d meant to him all along. To pull her to bed and fuck her senseless, or to worship her in every conceivable way.
Every possible scenario raced through his mind, and he wanted them all to play out. But all Topher could succeed in doing was stand there, tears streaming down his face, lower lip trembling. A ragged breath escaped his lips, but no sound, not even the whimper it should have carried, came out. All he could do was stand there, confusion clearly on his features, wishing she actually meant it, but not able to believe her. Not Vidia Hilson. She’d never love him. He was hallucinating again, it had to be it. Apparently there was more wrong with him than his voice being gone. But he couldn’t move to do anything in regard to anything, whether she was real or not, and her love the truth or a lie.
She should have known better than to suddenly snap at him. What could he do? What did she expect him to do? He wasn't like past relationships or flings where the other would drop to their knees and kiss the toes of her combat boots. No. Topher Nottmorr was her opposite match, and it frustrated her how he could make her giddy one moment then pissed off the next. They probably would stare each other down, showing different emotion, but equally stubborn.
She told herself years ago to give up on happiness. All that mattered in the world was her acting career, her father, and his accounting business -- one that she had planned on taking over in a few short years. How that was going to affect acting didn't play out in her mind yet. It was the future and if she learned anything over the years it was that time changes things. Standing there, in the apartment bedroom, glaring at the man with eyes stinging with tears threatening to spill, she realized she did love him. It wasn't a lie.
Lip tugged and bitten down hard, Vidia curled her hands into fists again and squeezed her eyes shut. She counted to fifteen before prying her eyes open again and looking to Topher. She swallowed hard then marched across the room. Her hand rose, flat and shaking a little. She brought it up to his face, and froze again. Her stare intensifying. The weak expression in his eyes made it worse. She wanted to love someone that would be strong for her when she was about to crumble. Instead, they both were about to break. That thought struck the nerve. Suddenly the quiet room echoed with a loud whack. She glared at him and took two steps back, rolling her now stinging hand, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"W-wh-why can't you say it back...?"
