Dear Meat @dearmeat - Tumblr Blog

Remember, Dear Meat is active once again, although now at a new home off tumblr! We are accepting and posting submitted letters, albeit at this new location.

Please visit us at http://dearmeat.me to read new letters!

Thank you for the support,

Matt

Hello Reader,

Dear Meat has moved to a new home! For the time being, we will no longer be placing updates on this tumblr blog; however we will continue to use this site as an archive for previously submitted letters. While there's still much to figure out along the way, I hope you join me as we work together to produce and share letters filled with passionate and powerful writing.

You can wander into our now location here: http://dearmeat.me You will be able to submit by either email or mail, just as before. Feel free to drop me an email if you any questions, as well. Thanks for everything, Matt

dear liquor,

you may not taste that good but i just love how you bring out the delicious truths out of people.

from

sobriety

Dear you,

I truly miss you love. I hate to start my sentences with an I, it looks and sounds very ugly I think, but there is gonna be lots of that in this text, forgive me dear.

So I came to realize that even though I have been chasing you for days now, running around in cercles telling you how bad ‘I’ feel, how sick ‘I’ am, and how unfair this was to the ‘I’ -again. It was silly to keep blaming the you of everything happening, for daring and being able to cause such a pain and horror. But have I once told you what is it that hurts so bad? Have I told you how much I care, and how much this is hard on me because of what I feel for you?

I have not.

So here it is my love, I am prepared to stand up, find my guts, put my pride on the side, sit here and write you this. write you everything I feel for you, and everything I miss about you, and about us.

The thing is, I played hard to get out of distrust in the start, out of guard, hiding behind the fender of carelessness. I acted foolishly with you. It was a ridiculous thing to do having someone who cares so much, and needless to say I cared widely likewise.

I did tell you many time that I loved you. I did. But what I kept from you, and most certainly from myself also, was that I am fully in love with you my lovely. You were -and are- the most precious in between all this pother.

This quarrel has been hell on me, and there is no way this means anything other than I am all tied up to you, all into you, and my mind is running wild thinking of any way or anything I can do to go back to the last time I saw you. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t had gone, leaving you behind, especially not with another man. I should have stayed, and gone out on that date we’ve been planning for so long, I should have stayed up all night with you, and told you all this, if only I knew…

I should have made you breakfast in bed, had a lazy Sunday with you in bed, played and talked about everything, and especially laughed about everything because, GOD, we have so much fun together, everything makes us laugh, and your jokes would still be making me tear up in laughter.

Mon amour, think again, please, try and remember everything we shared until the mistake you had done, which lead to the mistakes I made. You owe it to yourself. Think of how handsome we are hand-in-hand outside, walking around the city, wandering the same old streets wearing a smile and calm. Peaceful, that’s what we are together. Without you I am no longer serene and calm. I no longer know what I want to do, to eat and say.

You are my best friend. My best-est friend. And I need you, not selfishly, I promise. I need you to make an ‘us’. To make you feel as good and as placid as you always get around me. I need you, to take care of you. To love you, to forgive you and protect you. I need you because I love you, and it is a tremendous dullness for this love to go to waste. It would be outrageous.

I despise every moment I live far from you my love. With time my shedding will become grief and my grief will get icy and my love will die. And that is the last thing I wish for.

Please give me a chance, give yourself a chance to be happy, to be different, to be the person you loved to be when we are together. Give the ‘us’, a chance.

Love,

Dear Jay,

I'm sorry I didn't come to your funeral, darling. I truly am.

I thought about you that day, as we boarded the boat. I

worried that, even in death, you might feel alone. I know

you felt alone in that big empty house, always watching the

green light.

Tom has taken us to France for holiday. It's not as nice here

as I imagined it would be. The Eiffel Tower doesn't shine nearly

as bright as the lights in your house once did.

I wish it had been Tom who had died. Or me. I would rather

have died that live on like this, because now I can only acknowledge

myself for what I really am - a coward. I was a fool and a coward

to not leave Tom. You were right - I never loved him. How could

I love him?

Perhaps, some day, you will be able to forgive me.

With all my love,

Daisy Buchanan

I never felt like enough to my parents, as if I was never allowed to leave them without a goal. To do or go anywhere for love was never an option. Now here I am at 44 years old and I still feel trapped. I love you for you, but I never felt I could go to you freely. I'm all done feeling that way, stuck here. I hope you'll be there for me because I love you for you.

Dear (now ex) boyfriend of over 1000 days,

if i'd known that dating you would lessen my importance in your eyes trust me i would have never dated you because investing that much time into someone only to have them ONLY miss themselves with you and not you yourself is just depressing and unbelievable it makes me feel small it makes me feel unimportant to you it makes me feel like the real me isn't good enough for someone to miss and to care about because here you are caring about every little thing for some girl you barely know know her favorite color listen to her music when you can't do that for the girl you've known for five years unless i throw it in your face point it out to you ask you to check it out and even then sometimes you need a third party because somehow my word isn't good enough holding something close to my heart and having the courage to share it with the person i love isn't good enough for you you need a goal you need to achieve something and you want to achieve her so you listen but you've already got me so you don't. i don't want to hate you i don't want to love you i want someone to show me a picture of you and i want to feel nothing because everything else just hurts i could've learned to love without learning how to hate myself because the person i loved so much couldn't put in the work to remember me you say you loved me but i don't think you did i think you loved who you were around me but never me i asked you if you missed me after i told you the little things i'd miss about you and you told me you missed the person you could be around me comfortable you said you missed having someone to talk to not ME to talk to but someone there is nothing specific about me that you love or miss or want it's the person that you grew into around me that you love and miss and want i could've been absolutely anyone and that is the worst possible thing you could've done to me you say "oh no, but you gave me a chance" what if someone else had? what if someone else remotely attractive enough remotely interesting enough had paid enough attention to you? when i ask you if you had a crush on another girl or something sometimes you tell me qualities about them that you don't like but most of the time it's "they don't listen to me" "they don't care about me" "but you listen" "but you care" well what if they had too? i hate that you made me think that i was special and i hate that you made me think that someone could love me after getting to know me because you didn't get to know ME you got to know yourself and 'loved' me for it

-ExLemon

Seeing the sunshine of your love sustains and is the warmth of my hope for your embrace, to see you and give you a kiss would be the beginning all I've ever wanted in loving you, to caress and balm the home I find in our life energies filigreeing together. I am hoping to share with you from this time forward, and not return to the anguish of being away from you.

Listening and looking for my lovey

Dear friend

My dearest friend, I was excited that we were having our first ever girls night. Let me assure you, I am stoked that you have a brand spanking new boyfriend and he is a great guy.

Here lies my problem; you asked me to stay over, knowing that I am having issues with my flatmate and needed sanctuary, which I really appreciated and was also super excited about. Then my dear, your boyfriend finishes work early and decides to stay over.

After a good hour of awkwardness, since you very obviously wanted to tear each others clothes off, I had no choice but to leave and return to my hell.

I'd just like to remind you of the saying "sisters before misters".

I would/will never pick a "better offer" over our preexisting plans, good friends don't do that.

Signed Your upset and alone friend, who feels more alone knowing you're not there when she needs you.

Dear You Who Would Prefer The Other Hours Of The Day,

Given my degree of productivity after midnight whether I was beaten up by 10++ hours of classes or not, I second this. Any idea of action? Not Literally The Entire World but Yours Truly. PS: Plus it'd be nice to get off work to see sunrise.

Dear Literally The Entire World,

We are no longer made primarily of farmers. We have electricity that provides us with light when the sun no longer does. We have things that help us feel more awake when we are tired. We have access to several magnitudes more information and things with which to devote time. Why, then, do we still center our times of peak operation around the hours of 9am to 5pm? There are three times that many hours in a day. If I am most comfortable waking up in the late afternoon or early evening, I'm unable to contact virtually any "real" place of business regarding anything important. Why is this? I'm quite sure there are people that can adequately fill positions that would willingly, or perhaps even happily, work hours other than Real Adult Working Time hours. Sincerely, Those Of Us Who Would Prefer The Other Hours Of The Day

Dear Ex

We were happy when I gave all of myself to you and left nothing for me, after a year of living for you, I wanted to live for me. You pretended to support me, and in theory you supported me, but when it came to you having to do something, you were never there. I joined a sporting team to get fitter, you said you'd come to my games, you only came to 3 out of the 30+ games played. I asked you to help me get fitter, to join me on walks and eat healthier. But still you ordered pizza, was too tired to go walking or would rather sit and play online games. We lived together and it was like I was the only one there, the only one who cleaned, cooked and cared. You spent more nights asleep on the couch then in our bed, because you fell asleep whilst gaming - not because I didn't want you there. I brought my problems to your attention, I told you I had doubts about our relationship, I told you I felt like I lived alone because you were never there. You never did anything about it, you never made yourself into a better person. I grew as a person, into a better, independent and more decisive person. You stayed the same and stayed dependent on me. We have been broken up for several months and you're still in my house, the house with only my name on the lease. You don't have the money to move, you don't even have the money to pay me back, let alone the money to pay your share of the electricity bill. You judge everything I do! I can't even sit quietly in my own bedroom without you questioning it. I need you to move out, not because I want to date (I am seriously not interested in anyone after 2 years with you), I want to sort my life out. I want to spend some time looking at my life, at my goals, and be happy with the choices I've made. Please stop making this so hard for the both of us. You know what needs to be done. Sincerely, Trapped in an awkward situation

dear dad,

hey. it's been a while. it's me, your son. it's 12:30 am and i just wanted to say a couple of things:

the first time i encountered loneliness was at your house when i was four. you bought me a toy train set for christmas and i sat in your room and watch the train cycle endlessly around the tracks. we didn’t talk that much that day and i don’t think we ever did say much of anything to each other because your wife was usually watching and she was the saddest of gargoyles when i was around. i guess that since i was your bastard son and all, she didn’t take too kindly to my presence – she might have viewed it as a personal insult (you seem to be everyone’s fyodor fyodorovich). she treated me well enough while i was there though. i remember thinking about how sad it was that the train wasn’t really aware of itself, that it’d continue on its course unabashed until the power ran out and i thought about how lonely and solitary it felt – which in turn made me realize how alone i felt in your room.

i think the last time i saw you was twelve years ago when i was six. we went to see the first rugrats movie; i’d seen it six times already but i decided that i didn’t want to take a risk and watch something else. i was perfectly content with staying in my comfort zone. i don’t remember actually watching it with you, but i remember the faces in the audience, both spectral and substantial: the corpulent mothers, the disinterested fathers, the children who screamed like banshees into the flickering lights from the movie screen.

after the movie you dropped me off at my mom’s house. we said our goodbyes like we always did and departed. there was no closure aside from this. i just never saw you again. maybe you didn’t know that on my seventh birthday i cried because i was expecting to see you. a couple of weeks before that i read about how the sun was going to consume all of the rocky planets in the solar system and concluded that i was going to die. that and your absence were just too much for my seven-year-old psyche, caught unawares like houdini when whitehead struck. so i grew up fatherless, like a lot of boys do. i can’t dramatize it – i kind of forgot about you for the vast majority of my childhood. when my cousins asked me who my father was, i told them, ‘i don’t have one.’ but the sense of something missing was always there in my life.

mom fell ill shortly after your departure. she almost died, but she recovered, thankfully; otherwise, i’d be an orphan. mom and i moved around the state for about two years after her convalescence. actually, i don't really remember if it was before or after... but adjusting and readjusting was always tough on us.

i grew up to be a mostly happy but very lonely individual until the age of thirteen, when it felt like the ground gave out from under me and i sank into depression. my first encounter with existential angst came in sophomore year. i was 5’8” and losing weight pretty rapidly because of a shitty sleep/food schedule that i put myself through just to be happy with my body. knowing that my own father thought i was awful enough to abandon didn’t exactly help me either. my mind was emaciated and the dread lacerated me. there were times where i held a knife to my wrist while cutting a slice of cake, recalling camus’ quote, ‘should i kill myself or have a cup of coffee?’ with a hollow laugh.

maybe you’ll be glad to hear that i got better. well, a little. i’m not even overweight now due to a healthy diet and a lot of exercise and i tower over most of my friends (yes, i have real friends now!!). i’m still an outsider, though, and i fear that i always will be. there are times where i’m happy now, but sometimes i’m just so bereft of emotion. my anxiety has become worse over the past few months. yeah, i still think about you sometimes and i get mad at myself because i can’t even remember what your face looks like – only a nebulous outline of your body is ingrained within my mind. your parents died a couple of years ago, and i’m sorry to hear about that. they always treated me with the same grace that you never showed me. your wife is also dead apparently. it hit me, but not all that hard – after all, i barely even knew her. so i’m sorry if i’ve ever ruined your plans in life and i’m aware that i was probably a mistake – but i’m getting better. next year, if everything works out, i’ll be heading to new york for college [ivy league, just how mom wanted it].

we’re a lot more alike than you’d think – we’re both lonely and we’re both indecisive from what i’ve gathered (and who knows, maybe you write needlessly complicated prose like i do?). but unlike you, i won’t run from my problems until they’re no longer relevant. i wish i could say i hate you, but i don’t. i don’t know how to feel toward you… but thank you, i suppose, for teaching me that responsibility is not leaving your son without any prior notice. even now, i’m not really sure what tore us apart. if it was ‘filthy lucre,’ so be it; if you just didn’t want to see me anymore, that’s also fine. maybe you looked in me and saw nothing but disappointment. that’s certainly possible, especially since now all i can see myself as is an imbroglio waiting to happen. don't worry, you weren’t really needed: mom and i made it fine on our own. but the thought of you still gnaws at me.

with all due respect,

Dear Clark Kent,

I cannot stop thinking about you. And I want to tell you how I feel. I know you like me but I don't think you truly understand how much I like you. My heart drops when I see you. Sincerely, Lois Lane

I am flattened by the weighty thought behind your decision to wait. You choose face love, a dizzying truth, come what may. You choose to recognize rough waters ahead, and navigate, with care, the differences between you that cannot stop - can never stop - what MUST be. My life would have been different, had I had your respect for yourself and your lover. Had I had your strength. Thank you for sharing, for letting it be known that it is difficult but possible to be true to oneself,. For letting it be known that it is worth it. -S

Dear friend(?)

You spoke to me every night from 6 p.m. to 3 a.m. for a week. 6 to 3 on the dot. Nothing ever meant more to me. Maybe I felt too close to you, which is why I made the mistakes I did. I made up for it. You forgave me. But you've left me all the same. I can have you again one night every few weeks when you can't sleep and no one else is around. I talk to our mutual friends and they tell me it's just what you do. (I wish you didn't) I write letters to you and I send you links to songs. You are my friend that became a fairytale. I just want you to tell me about Tetris and music theory again. I've never had any trouble writing you I know when you come and leave again (because it's a vicious cycle) It'll just add another chapter to the story I'm calling us I know you know I do it I could have written you anything But it would always be pretty So I'm going to be honest I fucking miss you, asshole. Love, Your always friend and waiting lover

Hey you,

thanks for promising me the world. thanks for promising to never break my heart. thanks for showing me i will never be able to trust you, or anyone else again. thanks for the lies. thanks for the broken promises. thanks for the shattered heart. p.s. next time, dont leave your account logged in. especailly if its how you talk to your other girlfriend. p.p.s. fuck off. i hope she's as pathetic as you. with no love what-so-ever, the one that needs to get away.

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