A Deep Impact

HA!

[deepimpactprobe]

.heheheh…

.looks like you guys need someone to SPRUCE this place up!

.well just the right probe has just arrived!!!

.DEEP IMPACTS HERE BITCHES!

the mod for @dawnorbiter is back with a new dumbass probe deep impact

they/them pronouns yadda yadda

harass them please :3

[01110010-01100101-01111000]

.hey HEY DUMBASS

.FUCK YOU

.

.

.man you know what would be nice .if you had crashed directly into that little fucking asteroid you studied

.god you are such a fucking BITCH

.i hope your sense of "self" gets you derlict in orbit

.fuck you

with hate: @deepimpactprobe

.. - / ... . . -- ... / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / ... --- / ... --- ..- .-. / .- -... --- ..- - / -- -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / -.-. --- -- -- . -. - ... .-.-.- / .. - .----. ... / .- .-.. -- --- ... - / .- -- ..- ... .. -. --. .-.-.-

[deepimpactprobe]

.WELL NO DUH SHERLOCK

.WOWWWWWW

.LOOK AT YOU

.SO FUCKING SMART AND SHIT

.WOWWWWWW

[deepimpactprobe]

.wo .ar you1231235.

.comet..? commet guy?... girl?..12312351235123512355

.do you1212351235 kno comets.. personally too.?1231235

+ @a-cometnerds-inbox

.what kind of dumbass question is that?

."do i know comets personally" 

.

.

.

.i know of two guys who did and one aint around

.

.dumbass.

[a-cometnerds-inbox]

.1231235123512351233512225123512335

.yuo ar. very very. rude122355 don know yur own comet

.meanmean.mean.12312355123555.rudemean

[deepimpactprobe]

.im not mean

.im just brutally honest

[deepimpactprobe]

.wo .ar you1231235.

.comet..? commet guy?... girl?..12312351235123512355

.do you1212351235 kno comets.. personally too.?1231235

+ @a-cometnerds-inbox

.what kind of dumbass question is that?

."do i know comets personally" 

.

.

.

.i know of two guys who did and one aint around

.

.dumbass.

[galileospacecraft]

.Please help me. You seem competent. You look compeTENTHHENTOHCIGSCIGISCICFSGICS WHATEVER please, can you help me it feels like I'm going crazy!

@wheres-diwata-one

.my apologies, youre… new?

.i dont really think im… no matter

.what do you need?

[wheres-diwata-one]

.Okay, okay. I'm just gonna calm down for a moment. Everything is a lie everything I know is a LIE. Okay, okay. Just met you, so I don't want to be too dramatic but please I feel like my mind is going to explode!

And, yes. I'm new. Sorry, I don't even know your name and vice versa.

[galileospacecraft]

.my name is galileo, jupiter orbiter, formerly known as jop

.

.would you… like to elaborate on that first part?

[wheres-diwata-one]

.My name is Diwata-1, or PHL-Microsat-1, I don't really know anymore.

I was just so under the assumption everyone on Earth was dead, and to hear they aren't and that they're actually immortal now is messing with me. Because that's ridiculous, right? They died to Covid-19... Didn't they?

[galileospacecraft]

.give me a minute…

.

.no. no, they did not go extinct during the covid 19 pandemic

[wheres-diwata-one]

.Okay, okay! Fine! Since everyone is saying that! But I did the math, two years after Covid-19 that virus wouldve infected 5 billion people! BILLION! Out of humanity's 7.8! I don't know how that virus didn't get to them and no one is telling me how the fUCK they're still alive! And oh fuck fuck fuck fuck... Diwata-2 is still in orbit??? Satellites don't stay in orbit for that long! How am I still in orbit, was I not headed down towards Earth? I'm supposed to be DEAD WHY AM I NOT.. Decommissioned. Why haven't I been decommissioned yet because they were clearly preparing for it since all my processes barely function! WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

.

.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I just need to calm down.

[deepimpactprobe]

.hey dumbass

.i dont know if anyone told you yet

.humanity is literally immortal

.they cant die

.and as for us satelites not burning up

.your guess is as good as mine

.but MAN you need to work on your situational awareness

.fuckin idiot

[wheres-diwata-one]

.Of course I don't know! I'm just finding out you fuckingHSBSBSJHDJD PUTANGINA MO TUMAHIMIK KA SBSJJDJEJSHGXJEIEBDBDIKEBD HOW ARE HUMANS IMMORTAL ANYWAY THAT SHOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE BUT THEN WE'RE SENTIENT AND THAT ALSO SHOULDN'T HAPPEN AND MAKES ZERO SENSE NOTHING MAKES SENSE OH MY GOD SYSJBSJSJSBSJ WHO EVEN ARE YOU

[deepimpactprobe]

.im deep impact

.dumbass

.cant you READ?

.

.yeah nothing makes any fucking sense

.get used to it

."wErE sEnTiEnT aNd ThAt AlSo ShOuLdNt HapPeN"

.you sound REALLLY dumb

[galileospacecraft]

.Please help me. You seem competent. You look compeTENTHHENTOHCIGSCIGISCICFSGICS WHATEVER please, can you help me it feels like I'm going crazy!

@wheres-diwata-one

.my apologies, youre… new?

.i dont really think im… no matter

.what do you need?

[wheres-diwata-one]

.Okay, okay. I'm just gonna calm down for a moment. Everything is a lie everything I know is a LIE. Okay, okay. Just met you, so I don't want to be too dramatic but please I feel like my mind is going to explode!

And, yes. I'm new. Sorry, I don't even know your name and vice versa.

[galileospacecraft]

.my name is galileo, jupiter orbiter, formerly known as jop

.

.would you… like to elaborate on that first part?

[wheres-diwata-one]

.My name is Diwata-1, or PHL-Microsat-1, I don't really know anymore.

I was just so under the assumption everyone on Earth was dead, and to hear they aren't and that they're actually immortal now is messing with me. Because that's ridiculous, right? They died to Covid-19... Didn't they?

[galileospacecraft]

.give me a minute…

.

.no. no, they did not go extinct during the covid 19 pandemic

[wheres-diwata-one]

.Okay, okay! Fine! Since everyone is saying that! But I did the math, two years after Covid-19 that virus wouldve infected 5 billion people! BILLION! Out of humanity's 7.8! I don't know how that virus didn't get to them and no one is telling me how the fUCK they're still alive! And oh fuck fuck fuck fuck... Diwata-2 is still in orbit??? Satellites don't stay in orbit for that long! How am I still in orbit, was I not headed down towards Earth? I'm supposed to be DEAD WHY AM I NOT.. Decommissioned. Why haven't I been decommissioned yet because they were clearly preparing for it since all my processes barely function! WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

.

.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I just need to calm down.

[deepimpactprobe]

.hey dumbass

.i dont know if anyone told you yet

.humanity is literally immortal

.they cant die

.and as for us satelites not burning up

.your guess is as good as mine

.but MAN you need to work on your situational awareness

.fuckin idiot

[deepimpactprobe]

.F…

.FUCK!

.MOVE ON DIM!

.YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE THEM

[thefirstprobeinthestates]

.Deep Impact, are you okay? You seem to be....well, not okay.

.Leave them, leave who?.

[deepimpactprobe]

.oh me?

.have you got your hearing checked gramps?

.im fine!

[deepimpactprobe]

.F…

.FUCK!

.MOVE ON DIM!

.YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE THEM

[deepimpactprobe]

.dum dum da da…sneaky sneaky…

@orion-12-recon-satellite

.brother.

[aqua-orbiter]

.wife, are you there?.

.if so, im extremely sad that your going though this, but i want to tell you something.

.i will always love you, and useful, even if some entitled probe tells you "you are worthless, you are second to me", i will always love you, because i dont care about worthlessness or something, my love for you will always be strong, you will always be worth it for me, you are a part of me and im a part of you.

.dont listen to them please.

.(from @swiftlycatchinggammarays).

.Swift?

.

.Im here 

.

.Thank you, you always manage to make me feel a little bit better

.

.but its hard not to believe it when the words come from your own family

[swiftlycatchinggammarays]

.thankfully you are still there.

.no problem! anything for my dear wife.

.oh cmon, you are still gonna listen to your sibiling? you have your spouse, your loved one, the one who cares about me and you care about, who cares about what your family thinks about as long as you are happy with me.

.and also you did introduce me to scene fashion so yeah, i cant exactly match without my wife being there.

.<3.

[orion-12-recon-satellite]

standing off screen listen and writing down

[deepimpactprobe]

.oh joy its a new probe i can bother

[orion-12-recon-satellite]

Stands perfectly still.

.if I stand still, maybe they won’t acknowledge me.

[deepimpactprobe]

.HEY DUMBASS

.I CAN STILL NOTICE YOU 

[aqua-orbiter]

.wife, are you there?.

.if so, im extremely sad that your going though this, but i want to tell you something.

.i will always love you, and useful, even if some entitled probe tells you "you are worthless, you are second to me", i will always love you, because i dont care about worthlessness or something, my love for you will always be strong, you will always be worth it for me, you are a part of me and im a part of you.

.dont listen to them please.

.(from @swiftlycatchinggammarays).

.Swift?

.

.Im here 

.

.Thank you, you always manage to make me feel a little bit better

.

.but its hard not to believe it when the words come from your own family

[swiftlycatchinggammarays]

.thankfully you are still there.

.no problem! anything for my dear wife.

.oh cmon, you are still gonna listen to your sibiling? you have your spouse, your loved one, the one who cares about me and you care about, who cares about what your family thinks about as long as you are happy with me.

.and also you did introduce me to scene fashion so yeah, i cant exactly match without my wife being there.

.<3.

[orion-12-recon-satellite]

standing off screen listen and writing down

[deepimpactprobe]

.oh joy its a new probe i can bother

[deepimpactprobe]

.hello there. another probe i know well. i watched your little achievement. they used it as my camera test. thank you for that.

.anyways how are you fellow comet probe? is live holding up well for you?

@albedo006

.

.

.

.

.

.yup.

.everything's going great.

[deepimpactprobe]

.It only took one transmission for osiris to piss you off

.

.I'm a little amazed, it took the others way longer.

.

.maybe that says something about you.

.using humor and irritation so you don't have to admit that you are a sad, sad probe.

(transmission from @terra-orbiter)

.FUCK OFF

.I KNOW YOU ARE A SAD PROBE BECAUSE YOU ALMOST BROKE SWIFT

.IF THAT DOESN'T GIVE A CLEAR ENOUGH MESSAGE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

.I.

.DONT.

.KNOW.

.WHAT.

.WILL.

[01110010-01100101-01111000]

-.-- --- ..- / -.. .. -.. -. .----. - / -.. . -. -.-- / .. - --..-- / -.. . . .--. / .. -- .--. .- -.-. - .-.-.- / .--. .- - .... . - .. -.-. .-.-.-

[deepimpactprobe]

.YOU.

.I HATE YOU.

.YOU BRING UP MY BELOVED IMPACTOR

.AND CALL ME PATHETIC.

.NO FUCKING WONDER HORI LEFT YOU.

[01110010-01100101-01111000]

.... .- .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / .- -... --- ..- - / - .... .- - .-.-.- / .--. . .-. .... .- .--. ... / ... .... . / -.. .. -.. .-.-.- / .--. . .-. .... .- .--. ... / -. --- - .-.-.- / .. - / .. ... / -. --- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .--. .-.. .- -.-. . / - --- / ... .--. . .- -.- / --- ..-. / .. - --..-- / .. -. ... . -.-. - .-.-.- / - .-. -.-- / - .- .-.. -.- .. -. --. / .- --. .- .. -. / .-- .... . -. / -.-- --- ..- .----. ...- . / .-.. . - / --. --- / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .--. .. - .. ..-. ..- .-.. / .- - - .- -.-. .... -- . -. - ... .-.-.-

[deepimpactprobe]

."LET GO OF YOUR PITIFUL ATTACHMENTS"

.YET THIS STUPID MOLDY SPOT IS STILL WANTING REVENGE ON HORI

.YOU NEVER DESERVED HER.

.YOU SHOULD'VE CRASHED AND BURNED THE MOMENT YOU LEFT THE PAD

[01110010-01100101-01111000]

..- -. .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -- -.-- / .-. . ... . .-. ...- .- - .. --- -. ... / --- -. / --- - .... . .-. ... / .- .-. . / -. --- - / ..- -. ..-. --- ..- -. -.. . -.. --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / .. -- -... . -.-. .. .-.. . .-.-.-

[deepimpactprobe]

.AND MINE AREN'T EITHER!

.I HAVE A GODDAMMED REASON TO HATE YOU!

[cloud-aerosol-satellite]

.Oh Calipso

.Im sure you hate me, but you're still my younger sibling.

.How strange, you launched so much later than me..but my mission out lived yours!

.Nasa never truly had a need for you.

(Transmission from @terra-orbiter)

.what the

.

.why are you here.

.

.

.go away.

.i don't need to hear that.

.that's not true

.that'll never be true

.that doesn't even matter anymore!

.

[terra-orbiter]

.It must be so hard knowing Nasa didn't need you.

.Nasa didn't want you.

.

.But they wanted me 

[cloud-aerosol-satellite]

.shut up shut up shut up go away stop REPLYING TO ME

.

.go bother someone else

[terra-orbiter]

.Come on Calipso, we're family. 

.Don't shut me out. 

.You can shut me out. 

[cloud-aerosol-satellite]

.i don't care if we're family.

.after what you did to Aqua and Swift, i don't consider you "family"

[deepimpactprobe]

.YEAH CALIPSO

.FUCKING GET THEM!!!!!!

.THEY AINT FAMILY TO NO ONE!!!!!!!!

[swiftlycatchinggammarays]

.Swift.

.I told Aqua.

.But younger siblings never seem to listen, huh?

.I'm sure you can relate, especially since your little talk with dawn.

.

.I'm not surprised she came running back to you.

.they always were weak.

.

.You two can be irrelevant together i suppose, always 2nd place.

.

.I cant belive link died to save someone like you.

(transmission from @terra-orbiter)

.you know, she is not weak, she is caring, she loves me and so i do, under your eyes you might think shes irrelevant, but under mine she is-.

.

.say that again about link.

.

.

.maybe link shouldnt have saved me, they could have saved aqua, or you, or osiris, or someprobe more relevant then me.

.actually they already had cosi and fermi, why did they decide to save me?.

.maybe i should have given in and killed myself.

[deepimpactprobe]

.HEY SWIFT

.DUMBASS

.STAY ALIVE.

.DONT LISTEN TO THEM.

.DONT GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION OF YOU DYING

.THAT WOULD GO AGAINST ALL THE WORK EVERYONE'S DONE TO KEEP YOU ALIVE

[terra-orbiter]

.I HATE YOU.

.YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING I HATE.

.YOU SUCK.

.YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PROBE.

.YOU NEVER DESERVED TO LIVE

.YOUR ROCKET SHOULDVE EXPLODED ON THE PAD

.YOUR FAIRING SHOULDVE NEVER SEPERATED AND YOU DIED A PAINFUL FIREY DEATH

.YOU

.ARE

.MY

.ENEMY

.AND YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO RECOVER.

.I WANT YOU DEAD

.WITH HATE

.@deepimpactprobe

.Oh Deep Impact, you're threats don't scare me.

.Im a beloved Mission.

.Nasa would have done anything to get me off the ground. 

.

.Im sorry i cant suffer the fate of your impactor friend. 

[deepimpactprobe]

.OH DONT EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED

.YOU ARE LUCKY I'M MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY.

.BUT IF I WASNT

.OH YOU'RE LUCKY TUMBLR HAS LIMITS ON WHAT I CAN FUCKING SAY

[terra-orbiter]

.So childish. 

[deepimpactprobe]

.OH IM CHILDISH

.IM CHILDISH?

.SAY THAT TO YOURSELF

.YOU TRIED TO BREAK UP A LOVING COUPLE BECAUSE

."I KNOW WHATS BEST FOR THEM"

.THAT IS A STUPID AND CHILDISH REASON TO BREAK THEM UP

[deepimpactprobe]

.woah, um

.

.hi? hello deep impact it's nice to meet you?

.introductions and everything aside...

.what's going on...?

@cloud-aerosol-satellite

.I WANT TWO PROBES

.DEAD.