Deeter

Super monkey balls deluxe

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[barillapasta]

[ichibankasuga-deactivated202108]

[gluten-free-pussy]

No shade but some of y’all take that zodiac shit a little tooooo seriously :/

[gluten-free-pussy]

Y’all be like: I’m a fire sign™️ so that’s why I committed tax fraud

[viralfrog]

[homofied]

What’s this from? “Stretching for Bottoms”?

[nocturan]

[pyrlspite]

open rp

“hmm. I have never been to an olive garden before.”

[cybercrimer]

unlimited super salad.

[pyrlspite]

hmm.

unlimited super salad.

[tardigradetheking]

god evening sir my name is benny ill be your wai*

Optimus? I thought you were dead.

[pyrlspite]

benny?

…

you have to let me go, benny.

the crash was 4 years ago.

it wasn’t your fault.

[hayleykisappho]

Hey, you. You’re finally awake, you were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.

[systlin]

I would like to thank my roomba for finding that one sock I’d lost under the couch, and then repeatedly headbutting my foot while chewing on it. 

Thank you little dude. 

[splinteredstar]

He wanted to make sure you saw it!

[systlin]

What can you give a roomba instead of treats to tell him that he’s a Good Boy

Asking for a friend

[systlin]

You know

I have a roomba

I have knives

I could

I could give him a knife

[kagekanecavi]

this seems like a spectacularly bad idea considering you started off talking about how he headbutts your foot

[systlin]

I didn’t say it needed to be a SHARP knife

I’ve got a rubber training knife we use in class for knife technique training

[systlin]

Excellent

[thebellwitchblog]

Something tells me that this wont end well for your ankles but I applaud your disaster decisions anyway

[systlin]

It’s just plastic, my Achilles tendons are safe. 

And it’s good training!

[dragona56]

Training for him to stab people or training for you to dodge?

[systlin]

Yes. 

[worstdril]

[a-titty-ninja]

[princesseblade]

how youtube makeup gurus be to me.

[progerin-deactivated20190330]

Y'all vape :/ why you do that shit to your body…the chemical. Smoke cigarette it’s a plant

[olpy]

I literally just said this yesterday

[mi1f]

you guys heard of cbd

[progerin-deactivated20190330]

Cock and ball dorture?

[progressivepower]

[silentauroriamthereal]

Seriously, “apolitical” is an automatic swipe left for me on dating sites. We cannot afford to be apolitical these days!!

[micdotcom]

Watch: When does dating preference become racism?

[procrastinating-polyglot]

I don’t know how I didn’t figure this out but now that I have I don’t know what to do with this information

[polyglotswede]

This is some woke shit wtf

[starlightespresso]

[egberts]

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[leradny]

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

[getlostpeeves]

It fucking WORKED.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was playing Minecraft and in the options menu, there was a button that said “sex mode” and all it did was make the water purple.

[bananacracker33]

Okay but wheres the mod op

[thatsbelievable]

[crab-treehill-blog]