definitely jennifer

i'm Jen. i've been alive for over 3 decades. i live in VA. with a husband. and our little boy and an ever littler girl. i wish i lived closer to my best friend. i teach barre to be able to afford new workout clothes. i have a serious shopping spending addiction. my grammar is atrocious. i Tumbl because i've got opinions. i'm technically an adult. all Amazon links are Associate Referral links var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-15193091-2']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[definitelyjennifer]

i come from a home of photos. photos on the walls, in albums, even in sideboards filled with printed photos with no frame or album homes. my folks were always taking photos, we always had cameras around.

i loved this because later in life looking at all these photos brings back so many memories. therefore i have photos. everywhere! when i was apartment living my places were always covered in filled frames of my nearest and dearest.

and i married a man with one photo in his house. literally, he had ONE single photo in his house before me.

are either of these ways normal? i always assumed that everyone had photos of their entire life and of course it's only natural for me to document Roger's every move this way but i have to beg and plead my husband to pick up the camera so that somewhere in the future i can prove i existed.

am i being crazy? do i have a photo problem? or is this totally normal and my husband should get with the program?

[definitelyjennifer]

am i the only one not looking forward to Tumblr from Friday until, oh i dunno, Tuesday because i don't really care a smidge about OMGHUNGERGAMES! and i know that's going to plaster my dash anyway?

also, when anyone posts pictures of the three finger salute all i see is a bunch of girl scouts.

[definitelyjennifer]

lunch with baby and baby daddy when he's working in town is my absolute favorite!

[definitelyjennifer]

also, you folk with talking 11 month olds are blowing my mind!

[definitelyjennifer]

holy crap, today has been my most productive day in... umm... 50 weeks?

not only have i showered (awwwyah) but i've also cleaned the bathroom, we're talking scrub, clean mirrors, vacuum, swiffer, etc. and i'm almost done with dusting/cleaning/vacuuming the bedroom, and i've had laundry going all a.m. and now we're just back from our grocery shopping and getting some errands done.

the secret? not going back to sleep when Roger goes down for his morning nap.

holy crap does it make a difference.

i've also come up with a new plan to clean - one room a day. it seems doable and that way each room will get cleaned 2x a month... and some won't even need that much (like the guest rooms we never even go into unless we have company coming).

it sounds like a good plan for me and i'm hoping i can really stick to it. i'm sure i will have slug days but i've allowed room for those too.

i'm rooting for me!

[definitelyjennifer]

we speak different languages

husband says: let's go bike shopping this weekend.

what i hear: we're going to finally buy bikes this weekend! yay!

what he means: we're going to begin our in-person search, look at every store we can find, come home and research everything under the sun and try to find the best deal on what we want, and hopefully we'll buy something NEXT week.

AAAAHHHH! this drives me insane, but i figured this was the way it would go, it's the way everything goes... (have i ever mentioned that he shopped stones for my engagement ring for over 9 months? i mean having our jeweler bring in new stones every couple days until he found the one he wanted? it's endearing but ohmygah.) i really wanted to buy the bikes and be done with it. at least i was able to order the babyseat so i feel seomwhat accomplished on this front.  does he not understand that i have ZERO patience? and that the waiting KILLS ME?! how we ended up together still blows my mind.

[definitelyjennifer]

baby's first teppanyaki went well

oh, onion volcanos aren't part of your St Pat's celebration?

i figured he was either going to be incredibly entertained or scared out of his mind by the giant fire blast in the beginning. lucky he'd seen it happen at the tables around before ours started so he was just interested.

the biggest take away... holy crap does my kid like shrimp! he just kept housing it and giving me his sign for more. he also opted for it over the steak more times than i liked to see, he's definitely his father's son.

[definitelyjennifer]

a letter

Dear Banana Republic Luxe,

don't try to fool me. sending me an email with the heading "Exclusive for our Luxe Members" when it's really just your friends and family coupon* that ANYONE has access to is not cool and actually just pisses me off.

if you're going to have this top tier status you should actually do something special for those customers, not just try to tell them you're doing something special for them when it's for everyone. and trying to pass it off as your appreciation just shows that you don't actually value those people who spend enough to reach that status any more than your once a year customer.

also, stop saying you have exclusive triple point days for Luxe and not really tell us about it. not cool.

love, jen

*if there is a difference in the discounts offered i can't tell what it is but am more than willing to have someone point it out to me

[definitelyjennifer]

sMother

i've said it jokingly a million times but there's always a hint of truth in my words -

i'm obsessed with my baby.

i laugh about it but i can admit it and that's what counts, right? i mean i don't even like the idea of having to run an errand and not taking him with me - i enjoy the company. and as we approach his 1st birthday (366 days of life!) i realize i've never spent a day away from him. sure, i've come home after he's been put to bed but i've never been away from him for 24hrs. and i can freely admit that while out to dinner for our wedding anniversary i can't tell you a single thing my husband said to me because the whole time i was internally freaking out because i just wanted him to guzzle his wine so we could get home to the baby already!

sometimes i sit back and think Roger's going to spend alot of time in therapy because of this. other times i think i'm just taking advantage of spending time with him while i can.

i heard Kelly Ripa the other day say that (and i'm paraphrasing of course) "if you have one kid you can have more. they're all easier after that because with the first one YOU are all they have and they want to be with you ALL the time but the ones after that have each other and don't need you so much so you can go back to having a life of your own too."  and this made me wonder if that's truly why i'm on the fence with wanting more. i don't know if i'd want to do this again if they didn't need me.

there, i said it. judge if you must but i'm just putting it out there. i'm my baby's best friend and i kind of LOVE it. i hear people bemoaning the loss of their "pre-baby self" so often and it makes me question myself because just can't relate. don't get me wrong, i enjoyed my life very much before i was a mom but i'm enjoying this even more.  i know those women aren't saying they wish they weren't mothers but they want to claw back and absorb who they were before being Mom into who they are as a mom... and i just don't feel that way. maybe i'm just too lazy to want to change who i am, maybe i have low aspirations, or maybe i'm just a loser but no matter what the reason i've accepted the fact that i don't really want to do things on my own. afterall, i'll be forced to hang out with myself in a year when Roger starts preschool anyway and then a few years after that he'll be trying to avoid spending time with Mama anyway so whatever, deal with it.

[definitelyjennifer]

lspoon replied to your photo: i’m sorry The Mini Social but why would i want my...

As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!

Perfect.

babybirdblue replied to your photo: i’m sorry The Mini Social but why would i want my...

I thought it was too hipster for me but that’s basically the same idea as homeless.

also, perfect!

[definitelyjennifer]

you're like a 16 year old boy

- my gym guy to me while going through a potential workout

umm, i'm pretty sure that he wasn't referencing my physique but i'm not positive because it also applies.

[definitelyjennifer]

moms take note

if you use Pampers products don't forget to save those reward codes and enter them online.

i know it seems useless but you can use them toward a book credit on Shutterfly. and what Momma wouldn't love to have books of their baby? (you can make a book of other stuff too but, c'mon, we both know you won't)

from the first months we used Pampers diapers i earned enough credits for 2 books and i've already made him a 0-6mos book and am getting ready to redeem my points for his 6-12mos book.

it's a nice things to have since you're spending all that money on their butts anyway

*Huggies does have a rewards program too (we use their wipes) and you can use them toward Shutterfly also

** if anyone doesn't want to bother i'd be happy to use your points for you : )

[definitelyjennifer]

Being a mom is a giant 72lb backpack of guilt that you carry around 24 hours a day. (When you sleep it sits on your face). Also, mixed into that bag is a few cans of worry and containers of ohshit.

MODG

when i check my reader and a new post from this blog pops up i'm usually a little excited to see what she's saying. while our struggles with parenthood and all that mommydom comes with are different it's always nice to read about another mom who sometimes struggles (is that terrible?) because so often we hit publish on our posts about the amazing things our baby has done or photos of how unfreakingbelievably adorable they are and when things get us down we deal with it and our first thought isn't always to blog it. so it's nice to read these things sometimes.

and while this post isn't my exact situation i think bits of it hit home with every mother i know and even those i don't.  we all compare our babies, i'm convinced it's not natural to NOT. and there's always something we're secretly keeping an eye on with our kid, waiting for that element to change, to fix itself, or see what it plays out to be. whether it's having a baby that is so energetic you wonder what means or it's having a baby that is so calm and quiet it's unnerving - there's always something. and i think the fact that we worry about these things is truly what makes a GOOD mother.

[definitelyjennifer]

question for moms of toddlers+?

what the heck are you supposed to do with babies when it's nice out??

if i want to be outside i feel like he has to be restrained - either in a stroller or by being carried/held and that's no fun for him. if i go to a park or something and put him on a blanket he's off it faster than i can chase him and i'm constantly pulling globs of dirt or mulch out of his mouth. even going to the playground is only fun for a bit because the swings get old and i'm only willing to go down the slide so many times.

i know that when he's older it'll be awesome and we can go outdoors and he can run around and it'll be a blast but what on earth do you do with babies before then?

[definitelyjennifer]

sometimes i wonder if my dermatologist ever looks out her office window and sees me arrive early for my appointment and then watches me sit in my car and shove a greasy fast food meal down my throat and instead of my face just sees cartoon dollar signs with each bite

[definitelyjennifer]

i can't believe that taking our 11 month photos this week was the last time we'll sit down to capture his life by month. the next one will be a year. a YEAR. my heart stops.

don't get me wrong, i'll still be taking plenty of photos of this little guy every day but in one month we'll begin to count his life in years. good God it goes so fast.

[definitelyjennifer]

when baby is sick

it's a double-edged sword.

it's so heartbreaking because, well, he's sick and making the saddest sounds, and you know he has no way to process feeling so lousy

but it's also heartmelting because he's cuddly and doesn't want to be anywhere but your arms (he's NEVER like this otherwise)

i love it and hate it all so much.