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[definitelysexierthanyou]

I use "I'm just tired" as an excuse so much that when I'm actually just tired and say it people assume I'm on drugs or something.

[definitelysexierthanyou]

I'm not entirely sure what cardiac arrest is but I do think that it should be the basis of a show involving a cop and a doctor. And they should hate each other. Or love each other. Or maybe both!

[definitelysexierthanyou]

My biggest flex is that I can spell Lamborghini and also that I’m hot.

[definitelysexierthanyou]

Today I saw the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. It was me, but my point still stands. Also if I were going to die of an incurable disease I think that I would drive off a cliff in a stolen Ferrari bc fuck dying of natural causes. 

[definitelysexierthanyou]

Men always think that they’re hot shit for cheating on their girlfriends/wives and somehow managing to get away with it, but they fail to consider that they are not even a little bit hot and are actually just shit.

[definitelysexierthanyou]

I’m tired of being self aware. Like, I’m in denial about 90% percent of the aspects of my life, but I’m aware that I’m in denial about them. Can I be in denial about being in denial? Am I stuck in an eternal loop of denial? Am I even in denial if I know what I’m in denial about? Ugh. Anyways I’m being overwhelmed by perfectionism clashing poorly with procrastination. Also my head decided to throw in some narcissism just for funzies. I can’t really think of anyone to blame right now, so I think I’m going to blame the government, or maybe men. And yes, I am fully aware that I’m causing a large amount of my problems but I don’t have the mental stability to accept that so I’m going to continue with my whole denial thing, which is possibly a paradox but I’m not quite sure how. Anyways if you can keep up with this hell-paragraph I’ve created, I’m sorry. Maybe try therapy.

[definitelysexierthanyou]

People be like “don’t romanticize depression in media!” and I agree, but if I’m stuck with it then I’m gonna romanticize my own. Watch me put on eyeliner whenever I start to cry so I can slump dramatically on to the ground and sob with black streaking sexily down my cheeks. Bitch.