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@degranulating
hey this blog is gonna be inactive indefinitely. there’s not much to say about my transition these days (which is really nice tbh) and i’m just really busy now. the blog is staying up as an archive but i won’t be responding to messages on this account. my main is @hypermxbile if you aren’t following me there or want to talk to me.
i love how much power i have over cis people. i could tell a cis person that it’s transphobic to make fun of guys with bad facial hair because they might be trans and they would be like “hmmm that sounds fishy but i guess i have to accept it so he still thinks i’m woke”
ever had a transphobe go out of their way to be transphobic at you
like fuck off if you don’t like trans people then whatever i can’t make you but why go out of your way to whine at us you aren’t gonna change anyone’s mind lol
i love that one old timey 1910s trans dude who has a tiny wikipedia page for himself that he earned entirely due to him starting fights in bars and being the city’s hottest casanova
i mightve remembered it wrong but it still feels like half of this page is “I’m A Man For Fucks Sake” and the other half is “That Motherfucker Is In Jail Again And Also Bit A Cop”
oh my GOD this is the best list
“ “[DEADNAME] Again" “
Like this glorious jerk got arrested so many times that was literally ALL THEY HAD TO WRITE IN THE PAPER
He was a vagrant street kid and Seattle girls were all over this guy, to the point where it caused a moral panic. There’s a famous anecdote about a women proclaiming her love in Denny Park and then trying to shoot herself, but most of these reports were falsely worded in a way that suggest his female admirers were “upset about being deceived” when really they were upset that he was wooing other women, or trying to get his attention by being as extra as possible.
What you also should know is that back in the day “seduction” was a literal crime that could put you in prison (unless you married the woman you seduced) but since he wasn’t cis they couldn’t really CHARGE HIM with anything. Legend.
I especially like “Seattle Woman Appears in Men’s Clothes Because She Says Her Features Make it Possible.” I can’t imagine anything but someone going “Hey! You can’t dress like that!” and him responding “Oh yes I can. You see, I look very good.”
i’ve been needing to get set up with a new therapist here and i’ve been weirdly anxious about it for months. i’m rly proud of myself because i finally got my shit together and i just emailed a guy. i’m kind of excited because he specializes in trans stuff and most of what i need help with is trans stuff. and i’m gonna need someone to write letters soon. i’ll need 2 letters for my hysto and 2 for any bottom surgery for my insurance company to pay for it. i know my old therapist at home will write them, though i might need to see her again for the new letters (and my mom sees her now too so). but i needed someone for the others.
questions men should ask themselves more often
- am i being unnecessarily forceful/loud?
- am i talking over others? are those others mostly women?
- why does this person feel like that? how can i acknowledge their feelings?
- does she seem comfortable around me? if not, why?
- am i devaluing women as a joke/when they make me angry? am i insulting women’s appearance and sanity whenever they make me angry?
- am i listening to other people’s knowledge/experiences or am i only talking about my own? how can i share my knowledge/experiences in a respectful way that doesn’t monopolize conversation or infantalize others (primarily women)?
i made some trans lesbian and trans gay flags!
i overlayed the flags together and got some pretty flag colors!
by Cary Gabriel Costello
From Helen Boyd’s great blog on gender variance.
New concept: Lets support all trans people and not just the ones we find attractive.
oh big mood
i find it absolutely fucking bonkers that in a lot of top surgery before/after collages ive seen the guy’s nipples are censored pre-surgery but not post surgery because theyre Not Breasts Anymore
they dont replace the nipples. its the same two fucking nipples as before. literally the exact same nipples. its so fucking wild this is the society we live in
u know when u have a cis professor talking like they know everything there is to know about gender and trans people and medical transition and u literally die on the spot
oh hey what app do you use to test your voice? the purple one
this one! link is for the app store but i’m pretty sure it’s available on android. you just read a piece of text the app gives (or just talk for about a minute) and it analyzes your voice. it’s pretty neat and i wish i found it sooner.
open letter to the website tumblr.com
theres forms of transphobia and words for transphobes other than “t/erf”
the appointment with the new endo went well. i really like him. he did the whole initial appointment where he looked at my therapist’s letter and asked me about my childhood and dysphoria and all. and he was like “what’s your sexuality” early in the appointment. and i’m still skeptical about doctors asking me that, especially in this context, because i know a lot of doctors get weird about gay trans people. so i was like “uhh, idk, i’m in no rush to figure everything out :)”. which is a little bit true. like i’m sure i’m gay but at the same time i’m mixed up because dysphoria is a thing. i’m getting labs and going back in a month. when my pellets run out i’m probably going back on shots. he said he normally does them every 10-14 days so i’m gonna have to convince him to put me back on my old dose every week. he shoots for levels in the 400s so my 730 on pellets is A Lot and probably why i’ve been so off on them.
since i’m Legally Officially Male he’s not billing for “transsexualism” anymore (or is it “history of sex reassignment” or “female to male transsexual”? i’ve gotten all of those at one point or another). he definitely could do it that way and still get everything covered. that’s how everything’s been billed for awhile. instead my records will all say i’m being seen for “male hypogonadism”. he’s obviously not lying in his notes or my files but that’s what my official "diagnosis” is and that’s what the code for insurance is.
i’m meeting with the new endo tomorrow and i’m super nervous
i'm on my way there now and i'm still really nervous. and I had to miss class for this.
i'm meeting with the new endo tomorrow and i'm super nervous
oh holy shit
