Effervescent

I'm BenDeLa to the Creme

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[text]: Are we still friends?

[text]: I’d like to hope so.[text]: Darling, where did this come from? Did you hear about Jerick and I getting back together?

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[text]: I did now. [text]: Sorry I bothered you.

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Robbie: [text]: I was going to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me, but I think we both know what happens when we drink. Movie night instead?

[text]: Do you really regret making love with me that bad?[text]: Movie night sounds good.

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Carrying his bag of takeout to Jeremy's room, Ben couldn't help but dwell on the idea of them getting back together. If they didn't and Jer said he didn't feel that way, Ben would have felt used and that was never a good feeling. When he arrived to his ex's room, he tapped lightly on the door before entering. "I'm here! Don't freak out when you see me..."

[delaforshort]

Robbie: [text]: I was going to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me, but I think we both know what happens when we drink. Movie night instead?

[text]: Do you really regret making love with me that bad?[text]: Movie night sounds good.

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[text]: I wish you could too, but I’m not sure there /is/ any way to fix it at this point. I’ve never been this angry at Jerick before. [text]: No, I know that. It just almost feels too good to be true after everything we’ve been through the last year. I really don’t deserve you, Ben 😘 [text]: Want me to get anything for our movie night? Snacks? …Would it be too pathetic of me to lay in bed eating ice cream straight from the container?

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[text]: You do deserve me. You deserves somebody’s unconditional love. [text]: I can bring dinner!  I got Thai for two to have leftovers, but you can have anything you want.  😘 😘 😘

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Robbie: [text]: I was going to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me, but I think we both know what happens when we drink. Movie night instead?

[text]: Do you really regret making love with me that bad?[text]: Movie night sounds good.

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[text]: I regret losing my best friend over it. Did you know Jerick slept with Sharon afterward just to spite me? [text]: This whole thing is such a mess. I didn’t even want to come back to this hotel, but I’d already signed my contract and couldn’t get out of it. [text]: …I’m sorry. The last thing you need is to be pulled into all my drama once again.

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[text]: ... [text]: I wish I could fix this mess for you,but I know you don’t think of me how I think of you. [text]:Do you not understand that I’m by your side for the long haul? As your friend.Or as your boyfriend. I’ll be there...

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Robbie: [text]: I was going to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me, but I think we both know what happens when we drink. Movie night instead?

[text]: Do you really regret making love with me that bad?[text]: Movie night sounds good.

[delaforshort]

Robbie and Jinkx are already arguing, and she admitted to an anon that dumping you was a mistake

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Now I’m just going to imagine you spinning around in your shawls, like they’re flowing gowns. Please tell me you’ve done that at least once, because the visual image is just too cute.

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I may or may not give a little twirl every time I put one on... But I said maybe not, so don’t get your hopes up.

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(Robbie): ►

[text]: I love him, but he didn’t love me enough or I wouldn’t be in bed alone right now.[text]: Fuck.[text]: And… That text was about the otter I met on the teacups yesterday… Not about you.

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[text]: I think you look nice both ways. Do you really hate the things I bought you? You don’t have to pretend to like them now that we’re not together 😜 [text]: Have you tried hooking up with someone else? I know it’s not a long term solution, but it might be something [text]: Benjamin, stop. Why can’t you accept that you have a lot of nice qualities? [text]: In the interest of complete honesty, I guess I should admit that I’m not actually with anyone right now. Jerick and I exploring our feelings for each other, but we’re not dating [text]: Being in this hotel brought out a lot of qualities in myself that I don’t really like and I don’t want to jump into another relationship and ruin it again.

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[text]: I love them! I promise you that. [text]: I did and it wasn’t the same. I even deleted Grindr right after my hookup because I felt gross and empty. [text]: Because I don’t. [text]: Well... Dating or not you’re in love with them. [text]: I don’t like to say that we jumped into things, I like to say we took a leap of faith that was 100% worth it.

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Robbie and Jinkx are already arguing, and she admitted to an anon that dumping you was a mistake

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I think shopping for boy clothes can be just as fun as shopping for girl clothes. Well…almost as fun. I’ll be on the look out for something that’d go with it for you. Don’t think I ever expected you to dress like that the time, though! I just wanted to put you in it once to see what it looked like. You know me–even I don’t dress like that every day. I have my fair share of normal t-shirts and hoodies.

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Shopping for girl clothes is fun. You can spin in a dress and it just isn’t the same when you spin in a tuxedo. I like wearing my flowing, shapeless boy clothes the most, but once you go flashy, it really is hard to go back!

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[text]: I need some company in my room. I have alcohol and classic movies.

[text]: Check to see if the coast is clear[text]: I don’t want to get ambushed. [text]: Or thrown into the table[text]: Or have my nose actually broken[text]: Those movies better include Death Becomes Her and a LOT of musicals.

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Jerick took a deep breath, frowning as they felt the other shake against them, wanting to do anything to help him.  Then, when they saw Ben nod the queen started to sing Happy Days Are Here Again softly to the other, holding him tightly against their chest as they tried to will the pain away through song.

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As Jerick began to sing, Ben’s tears slowly subsided and his sobs of utter pain turned into little sniffles. He began rocking, whisper-singing along, wiping his cheeks and once he completely stopped shaking, he let himself sit up and turn to face them, kissing the center of their forehead. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn’t be breaking down like that… Not in front of you, that was so disrespectful of me.”

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(Robbie): ►

[text]: I love him, but he didn’t love me enough or I wouldn’t be in bed alone right now.[text]: Fuck.[text]: And… That text was about the otter I met on the teacups yesterday… Not about you.

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[text]: You’re not /old/. I’m three months older than you are, don’t forget [text]: And I love your body and your endearingly shawls. Remember how I’d wrap my hands around the end of them to pull you in for a kiss? I couldn’t have done that if you weren’t wearing one of those shawls you like so much. [text]: Do you know what else? You’re also one of the smartest, funniest, most clever men I know, and you have a bigger heart than anyone [text]: I wish anything was simple about this. I never expected to be in love with two people at once [text]: Of course. Do whatever you need to.

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[text]: So what you’re saying is that shawls are babe magnets and that I can drop that new wardrobe we bought me? [text]: I miss kissing something that isn’t sweets and the lip of a bottle of wine and that’s the truth. [text]: Hush, none of those things are true. [text]: Love is complicated and it makes you down right ignorant sometimes, but you should never not follow your heart, okay? If being with them feels more right and you’re happier... I’m happy for you. [text]: Thanks for understanding.

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Robbie and Jinkx are already arguing, and she admitted to an anon that dumping you was a mistake

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That’s true. I did introduce you to the wide world of bow ties and waist coats, so my contribution really can’t be underestimated here. You better get used to getting bow ties as gifts because if I ever see ones I think you might like, I’m buying them for you.

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I’ve been looking for one with a pattern to go with that gray plaid vest we found, but I’m really not good at boy clothes. Also, I’m not promising to look snazzy all the time. Just... on the occasions that we might bump into each other so I don’t look like a complete and total slob.

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Maxed Out | | {Dela+Jinkx}

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Jerick sighed, nodding as they knew Ben was right about the whole situation, “I know, I just…I feel responsible for his pain and I feel bad and I just needed to remove myself from the equation for a little bit and take a break from all of the negative energy surrounding Danny.” They explained, “It’s just for a night.” The queen muttered, closing their eyes for a moment when Ben brushed the hair from their face, “Thank you, darling.” Jerick said as they lay their head on Ben’s chest.

Then, when Ben asked about Jeremy their body tensed up, feeling as if in that moment they were facing a live mine field and they couldn’t step anywhere.  Quickly, the queen had to calm themself down a bit a relax, taking a deep breath before actually speaking, “We’re fine.” Jerick answered carefully, “We’re having a nice time here finally.” The queen added, not wanting to actually speak about their relationship with the other, “How have you been as of late?” They questioned, wanting to take the light off of themself.

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When Ben felt Jerick tense at his question, he figured it was too soon for them to go into specifics about their budding relationship with Jeremy and he’d have to respect that. It was also refreshing, because he’d already promised Jeremy that he’d listen, even though the wound was still fresh. “Sorry, sorry...” He whispered and nodded at the redhead, smiling. “I’m glad that the two of you are having fun, you deserve that much. How’s your nose and Jer’s shiner?” Ben tried not to look to excited when asking about his ex, tracing their arm with his fingertips as they spoke. 

“I-- uh... I’m doing fine. I tried sleeping around, but it wasn’t fulfilling to find trade on Grindr and I’m actually kind of over it. So I deleted the app and I’ve basically been hiding in here watching shitty gay romance movies, wondering why one of the love interests always has to meet an early demise...”

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[text]: I need some company in my room. I have alcohol and classic movies.

[text]: Check to see if the coast is clear[text]: I don’t want to get ambushed. [text]: Or thrown into the table[text]: Or have my nose actually broken[text]: Those movies better include Death Becomes Her and a LOT of musicals.

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Ben rested against Jerick and when he felt them place a kiss against his shoulder he immediately turned into a blubbering mess. Sobbing only made his whole body shake which made him feel worse because he was so obviously crying, tearing streaming down his face sideways. He nodded the best he could at their request to sing, bring a hand up to his nose and mouth covering them to mute the sounds of him crying.

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[text]: I need some company in my room. I have alcohol and classic movies.

[text]: Check to see if the coast is clear[text]: I don’t want to get ambushed. [text]: Or thrown into the table[text]: Or have my nose actually broken[text]: Those movies better include Death Becomes Her and a LOT of musicals.

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Ben didn't want to listen to anything Jerick was saying because he was drunk and sad, instead deciding to close his eyes as they continued to speak. "He can love me and be in love with me all he wants or doesn't want, that doesn't changed how humiliated I was the moment Aaron flashed those pictures in my face..." He murmured, turning to face the wall. "Will you be my big spoon like you used to be when I was sad back home? Before all of this was a mess and you would hold me when I had a hard day or when I cried because of my mom... How you did after I was eliminated from drag race?"

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(Robbie): ►

[text]: I love him, but he didn’t love me enough or I wouldn’t be in bed alone right now.[text]: Fuck.[text]: And… That text was about the otter I met on the teacups yesterday… Not about you.

[delaforshort]

[text]: Maybe it's because I'm a chubby, old drag queen with shawls as a wardrobe. I enjoy stupid cliché things like walking on beaches and I think that holding hands can be just as intimate as sex. [text]: I'm glad it means a lot. I wish I could make things more simple. [text]: If we don't talk as much when we get out of here or I stop coming around in Seattle, don't think I'm not your friend, okay? I'll never stop being your friend, but I might have to take some me time...

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[text]: I need some company in my room. I have alcohol and classic movies.

[text]: Check to see if the coast is clear[text]: I don’t want to get ambushed. [text]: Or thrown into the table[text]: Or have my nose actually broken[text]: Those movies better include Death Becomes Her and a LOT of musicals.

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"I just want to know why everything in my life is good one moment and then gone the next? It always happens like this." Ben furrowed his brow, his train of thought everywhere, but one thing popped up often and that was Jeremy. "My whole life will continue to be a long, dark road as long as I shall live." He laughed awkwardly, raising the bottle in a cheers before knocking it back again.

"I don't know? Maybe he loves me, but he's not in love with me and I'm crazy for him. From that first kiss in the pool, through the embarrassment of what Sharon did, and even through him breaking up with me— I love him madly and it fucking sucks." He covered his face again and shook his head as he waited for Jerick to snap or leave, his head pounding from all the intense drinking.

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[text]: I need some company in my room. I have alcohol and classic movies.

[text]: Check to see if the coast is clear[text]: I don’t want to get ambushed. [text]: Or thrown into the table[text]: Or have my nose actually broken[text]: Those movies better include Death Becomes Her and a LOT of musicals.

[delaforshort]

"I know this is weird, but I'm tired of having nobody to talk to and it's freaking me out that the two of you are probably being intimate and just a week ago I was sleeping with Jeremy and cant help but compare myself to you." Ben laughed awkwardly, filter completely wavering from the amount of alcohol that he'd consumed that night.

Laying back in defeat, he cuddled the cool bottle under his arm and used his shawl in defense, covering his face with it. "I'm being weird aren't I? I'm sorry... I guess you can make the boy older and less awkward looking, but you can't take the awkward out of the middle aged man he now is..."